Is understanding the opposite sex essential for escaping the fiends zone?

Is understanding the opposite sex essential for determining if you are already in the friend’s zone?

My answer to both those questions are yes!

Man or woman, if you’re stuck in the friends zone there’s a good, no, a great possibility you just don’t understand the opposite sex… as much as you can, or should.

Imagine this. It’s late. You’re lying in bed. Maybe you’re reading a book or watching TV. You reach over to the end stand to set the alarm clock and you knock off your favorite ring. The ring managed bounce several times and it lands underneath the bed. You feel a little pissed off because it lands just out of your sight. So you scream,

“Shit! just my freaking luck! You know I just got comfortable. Uggg!”

So what do you do?

Well if you’re like most people you haphazardly throw your pissed off hand underneath the bed. You begin to poke and feel but you just can not seem to find it. So you lean over a little for that extra reach and, hey, there it is. You separate your thumb and finger hoping to pull it in and by doing so, you push it away even further from you.

You’re so comfortable and warm. You just don’t want to get up. So you try again but this time there’s no way to get it. It’s gone. Lost in the darkness and far from your view. You have two choices now. Get up, turn on a light, and skilfully acquire the ring. Or you can just roll over and wait until morning.

Which do you choose?

Believe it or not it’s those little decisions in your life which make or break you from finding that secret love of your life. The one you feel is always falling beneath you. Just out of sight. The one you feel finally comfortable with so you reach out for and you just end up pushing him or her further away from you.

Your relationships are just like feeling your way around in the dark. You grope and hope that secret love of your life will see you as more than a friend, but it rarely produces results. And the results are usually a small cut on your ego that stings. And it only get more painful when the “pouring salt on the wound” becomes,

“You’re so nice. Why can’t I meet someone like you?”

I do not feel it is essential for any man or woman to understand everything in life, to enjoy it. In fact learning the intricate details of somethings can destroy its charm and the magic. Like ruining a good mystery. But when it comes to attraction and escaping the friend’s zone, understanding the opposite sex is crucial.

I mentioned those little decisions in your life can make a big difference because I have seen it work, and I have done it myself. I’m saying that each time you experience those unlucky moments:

1.) Stop

2.) Allow yourself to be removed from that comfortable state for one minute

3.) Turn on that proverbial light.

4.) Find, fix, or correct the problem.

Please don’t take me to believing you should get compulsive about it. Just try to do it, more than you have in the past. That’s all. Give a little more than you have, even if it’s only 10 percent.

If you are unsure how all this can help in your relationships or understanding the opposite sex, think about it this way. How can you possibly expect your body to naturally act in a way you want it to, which for this post is not being thrown in the friends zone, when it has had no real practice in doing so.

Firefighters practice real event simulations under conditions in which they have the options to make the right decision, or do the right thing, without life or death results.  They do this so when the “moment of truth” comes, their bodies will instinctively do what is necessary, without thought. Not only does this free their mind to make rational decisions, it slows down time around them during those peak emotional moments in which are bodies are experiencing those “fight or flee” moments. And believe me, when you are dealing with those intense emotional moments while approaching a woman, or making that first move, or kissing him for the first time, your body is in a high state of anxiety, which will bring up those same feelings of “fight or flee”.

Image: Salvatore Vuono / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Practicing those moments with the little things is a great place to begin seeing the world through those “cool” eyes.

It took me a while to fully see this in m own life but once I got it, I got it. And this is coming from a guy that spent years and years practicing music. I just never made that connection of practicing guitar to practicing social events like meeting women. I knew musicians that could get on stage and just play. It was like they were on autopilot and I just could never achieve that myself. i was always thinking too much about my performance to ever really fully enjoy those moments where a thousand eyes were upon me. I was great friends with this genius, yes he was deemed to be a genius level, who once said to me about playing music,

“It will take about twenty years for you to develop the ability of auto pilot on stage.”

Smart or not, screw him. Practice all those little events in your life. Work through those bad luck moments patiently and cognitively. Work you way up to those truly intense moments, and you will quickly begin to see results. Practice those moments and then allow yourself to begin understanding the opposite sex the right. With the lights on! Then maybe those lights will go off more for you, if you get my drift there.

And where do you begin this understanding?

1) Research.

Do your homework. Explore everything. Obviously this is a great place to start. I am so surprised by all the men and women I deal with who refuse to do this. It’s so easy to find valuable information these days.

Attraction Transformation – A resource for dating and relationships. is my incredible resource of free articles in a newspaper style. Check it out and tell me what you think about it.

2) Watch and Listen.

Get out and begin to notice the subtleties between men and women. Don’t go out just to judge. Actually watch their interactions. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

3) Understand yourself.

Learn all you can about yourself and what makes you tick. Your sexuality. How your emotions affect your life.

I wish I could say it’s that simple but the misconceptions between the sexes has gone on for so long, not everyone will have the same learning curve. Just think of all the books written on this subject. Everyone has their own opinions and views. Some of them are wonderfully unique, some of them faltered or obscured by the writers own life experiences or relationships. The tricky part comes when you need to decipher for yourself who has the truth, and who only perpetuates the myths between women and men. A sure sign of this is when the statements are too generalized for any good use. Sure you could say most men respond more visually than women, but I know plenty of men who act emotionally and lots of women that are visually stimulated. That generalized vague statement is just another cold read and it won’t help you truly understand.

I do honestly believe that number 3, understanding yourself is the most crucial step in understanding the opposite sex. And to understand yourself better take the time to leave in the moments and practice your skills of being cool. Your mind will begin to see the opposite sex in a whole new life and when those moments arise, in which your body is on auto pilot, it will just naturally know what to do.

Have a great day everyone,

Pete

This is question 27 from my Friend’s Zone Test.

#27

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