Nice Guys escape the Friend's Zone.
9 Questions to Ask Yourself if You Creep Women Out?
There’s that word. Creep. In the dating world it seems to be mainly used by women to describe an unsettling feeling they get around certain men. Let me tell you a story. See if you can relate to it.
I used to attend many private parties in my late teens early twenties. I was quite the optimistic guy. I would always show up saying to myself, I going to meet a girl tonight. I can just feel it. Even though the previous twenty parties yielded nothing but a depressed drunken stupor home alone to pig out then pass out. The “P.O. to P.O.” method of dealing with rejection. I came back depressed because without fail I would meet a cute girl. One that I was so attracted to I didn’t know how to act. All I knew was that my previous failures were looming over my head and it was predetermined that I continue to be alone. I actually felt like it was just meant to be.
Oh yeah but to that cute girl. There was always at least one. I would focus on her. Check her out from afar. Try to position myself to meet her. I was lucky enough to somehow talk to many of them but my inability to progress through a dating sequence usually meant I would leave without getting her number. But I also knew there was a great chance I would see her again. Women liked to talk to me, mostly. When I used a cheesy tactic or made a stupid comment I would usually get that, “Whatever” look from her so I would stay away from her but still kept checking her out. I was dreaming in my head of a future event that could lead to us being together.. It was a true sickness that tied up my brain from doing anything productive and ingrained the “Stuck inside my mind” into my everyday life.
Without fail every time I was given the opportunity to see her again and manged to speak with her I would gather to courage to ask her out. Granted sometimes this would take months of seeing her constantly. She of course would turn me down with those dreadful phrases,
“I’m sorry I’m just not interested.”
“I have a boyfriend.”
“You’re cute but just not my type.”
“I’m sorry. I only date taller guys.”
“You’re nice but I just don’t see you that way.”
“I’m sorry. I’m taking a break from dating for while.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t give out y number to strangers.”
Insert you own in the comment field at the bottom of the page. I want to hear them.
So what gives? I obviously did not know these women well enough to be considered a friend yet but for some reason, they would even give me chance.
It took me years to figure out that what I was doing, was, creeping them out.
I didn’t know why. I was just shy. I was so fearful of not being rejected that I just didn’t know how to act. I was so fearful of an event that only happened once or twice; and that was being humiliated in a public rejection. I was hoping so badly that she would like me enough to take the lead, but she never would and I knew she wouldn’t anyways.
You see guys, creeping women out goes so much deeper than the typical creep a woman will explain to another man. It’s the type of creepiness she rarely bad behavior towards so it goes past our minds without us even knowing it.
Here are 9 useful questions to ask yourself if you are creeping women out.
1.) Are your movements around women often jerky and quick; or do your movements reflect a feeling that you don’t know what to do with your body parts, particularly your hands or feet?
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2.) Do you often hope a woman will take the lead when you meet her, because you can’t. So all you do is attempt to steer the conversation into an area in which she may reveal her immediate feelings for you?
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3.) Do you hover real close to her for long periods of time without showing interest but you still constantly check her out?
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4.) Can you answer yes to the last three questions but manage to get her number; and then you leave weak messages on her voice mail but she never answers or calls you back?
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5.) Do you send messages to her profile that wreaks of being needy? Messages that are extremely complimentary to her and negative about yourself. Such as “You are amazingly beautiful and I know I may never have a chance with you but I just wanted to let you know you seem very special to me. If you’re interested at all. Please write me back. “
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6.) Do you mention sex so quickly during your first conversation it makes her wonder if you get any at all? Forcing down the topic in an attempt to reveal whether or not she has a boyfriend, if she is have regular sex, or would she have sex with you at some point in the future. The key here being an attempt to reveal and not direct questions that are upfront and kind of funny.
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7.) Do you stare at her from far away but never get the courage to even say “Hi”? You look away quickly when she looks back at you. You keep trying to put yourself in a position that you can check her out without her seeing you. After all, if she catches you it brings up a fear she will think you’re a creep.
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8.) Are you overly nice to her when she shows interest in you but you stray away from any conversation that would bring out your weakness around women. So you never mention sex, cause you rarely get it. Or you don’t want her to ask about your past girlfriends because they are too few to admit to so casually talk about safe topics.
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9.) Do you find yourself asking a woman you just met question after question but never really having any interest in hearing the answer because you’re so stuck inside you head you can’t think clearly. But you want to talk to her and you feel impelled to keep the conversation going. Those awkward silences you feel means you’re boring her. So her answers to your question are short, boring, and you feel she is giving you nothing to on to have a great conversation.
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Image: graur razvan ionut / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
If you can answer yes to any of those questions above it’s a good bet you creep women out just like I use to. After all I came up with them from my own experiences. Unfortunately the sad direction it took me was so far away from attraction there’s no way to ever create it. In fact it’s so much easier to escape the friend’s zone with a woman you’ve known for twenty years than it is to erase that creepy feeling she gets when you’re around her. Nice guys that can answer yes to those nine questions have this incredible ability to creep women out in a way that’s not threatening but rarely, if at all, will it trigger an attractive response from a woman. They don’t do it on purpose. They just don’t know they are doing it.
If there any women checking this post out please feel free to help my readers out. Let us know what you’ve experienced related to being creeped out, and how a man can avoid doing it in the future.
Thanks for stopping by and Have a great week everybody!
Pete
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- I Used To Be You (davidwygant.com)
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| Print article | This entry was posted by peter white on January 24, 2010 at 10:00 pm, and is filed under Body Language, Nice guy mistakes, Top Lists, Understanding Yourself. Follow any responses to this post through RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site. |






