In the often unpredictable world of dating, nice guys who find themselves slowly climbing out of being dateless often run into situations where you felt attraction, there was a definitive spark and chemistry, but for some reason she is just not interested enough to bother.
You feel you do everything right but still get nothing more than that cold feeling of rejection.
Here are two scenarios. Each of which I experienced with women the feelings of rejection. I will give you great insight from Carlos Xuma to help determine if she is really interested or attracted to you.
Image: Dynamite Imagery / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Experience one:
There she was. We looked at each other and smiled while walking by the clearance rack at Macy’s. She then bumped me on the side and forced me to say,
“Hey. Watch it punk!”
We had a great conversation and busted each others ass a little before I had to go. I got her phone number. After all she was cute, had a great sense of humor and a marvelous ass. So I called her the next day and but she didn’t answer. I left a brief message to remind her of who I was and told her to watch where she was walking.
I waited about a week but she didn’t call me back.
I decided to call her again and there it was, that dam voice mail again. So I accused her, in a funny way of being flaky demanded she call me back or she’ll miss this great opportunity to hear my lovely voice again.
And yes, as you might have expected, she never called back. And neither did I. I deleted her number at the end of the month.
What really happened?
Did I do something wrong?
Did I miss the signs?
Was she really just not interested or attracted to me?
Experience two:
I checked out her profile online. It was great. It was sexy, funny, great pictures and she seemed pretty cool. And the best part was she happened to be from my area. So I wrote a funny little introduction to her but she never got back. I of course waited a while and assumed maybe my email got lost or she just missed it. After all it is online and by the looks of her profile she was getting tons of emails.
I wrote her back again. This time a little differently but reminded her she was missing out on me and I did it in a funny but confident way. Again a couple weeks went by with no response back from her.
I decided to give it one last shot with her. I wasn’t rude but insisted she’s going to miss something she may not want to. And again I was funny and confident but made it clear to her this was going to be the last time she would hear from me, so she has no choice but to write back.
And guess what? She did! She said something like you’re funny and cute too. I would love to chat with you and gave me her private screen name.
Sounds wonderful doesn’t it? But it wasn’t. I saw her online a couple times and wrote her something clever to compel her to get back to me and she did. With two sentences the last being she was kind of busy today but soon we’ll talk some more. Now a couple of weeks went by and she hasn’t really been online much. Maybe twice. Each time I waited a while for her to settle in and not be a pushy pain in the ass and said hello.
I suppose there’s no need to tell you that she didn’t get back to me. It was extremely frustrating. She even managed to comment on my online social profile which kept me interested but nothing more. I deleted the connection.
What really happened?
Did I do something wrong?
Did I miss the signs?
Was she really just not interested or worse yet, not attracted to me?
And even worse than that…what if she decided between all the men in her life, I just wasn’t good enough for her!
I’m not a negative man by all means. Sure I have my moments of weakness. Sure I suffer occasionally from a self-esteem issue. But what I always try to do is learn from my experiences. Each of those could have been handled it many different ways.
I could have gotten bitter and depressed.
I could have blamed myself.
I also could have blamed them but blaming others is a total waste of energy.
Believe it or not there are so many scenarios that can be created to explain what really happened. Some come from confidence. Some don’t.
- Maybe I intimated her.
- Maybe she just got over a break up and ended up getting back with her ex.
- Maybe she just liked the attention.
- Maybe she was scared.
- Maybe I came on too strong.
- Maybe she was not into me and was just trying to be nice.
- Maybe she met someone else during our interactions but chose him.
- Maybe she felt nothing after having some time to think about it.
All this leads me to the ultimate questions posed from this post.
Is there a sure way to determine a woman is interested, attracted, and is really into you?
All we can do is look for the signs. Learn what they are. Learn to live in new moments to avoid our mistakes in the past. It’s not simple. It’s not a complete science. It’s an art. I call it the art of living.
It’s the experiences of our lives which paint on the tapestry of who we are inside. When we experience those missed strokes that can not be erased we step back, evaluate confidently, and allow the information to become a part of who we and what our picture represents. Yes the picture might change. It might not be exactly what you expected but when done right, the picture will, without a doubt become much clearer in our heads.
Okay so enough of my philosophical approach. I’m sure if you’re reading this you really want to know How to tell if she is interested.
I have found the most incredibly informative article which I have learned to live by myself. Here is a piece of it.
1) The first indicator is her actions to tell you she likes you. Always watch what she does first, and ignore her words if they don’t jive with the way she behaves. Here are a short list of “she’s interested” indicators:
- She touches you or leans in close
- She makes it a point to smell your cologne
- She takes you along with her to another bar/dance club
- She initiates conversation with you
- She asks for your number (but only if she asks before or after giving hers. If she refuses to give you her number, she’s not interested.)
- She looks you over (especially glances at your mouth)
2) The next thing you listen to is her words. What does she say to you? Here’s a list of things that indicate her interest verbally:
- She asks a lot of questions about you
- She talks about sexual topics (without you initiating them)
- She uses very sensual words when describing you
- She tells you secrets (indicating trust)
3) This next list is more difficult, since you will have to refine your radar as to what her body language is saying. It’s much more subtle, and more difficult to read. Again, I always suggest that you make sure to judge her body language only when you have no other evidence to help you out.
Here are some buying indicators:
- Occasional glance(s) from far away
- Looks at you a few times (flickering glances at your lips)
- Holds your gaze for a moment with no words
- Goes out of her way to laugh with you
- Posture changes, looks alert
- Covers her mouth or touches her face
- Adjusts hair, attire
- Faces you
- Alert, energetic
- Pupils are dilated
- Open posture (arms uncrossed)
Dating Tips For Men: How to Tell If a Woman is Interested in You -Carlos Xuma
Please read the whole article when you get a chance. It’s not much longer so it shouldn’t take long at all.
I realize that when read through this you might be thinking how is this all connected to my experiences I mentioned earlier.
It because,
I know, from being that nice guy in the friend’s zone for so long those two experiences would cause me to question myself and my own beliefs.
I would have used those experiences to create excuses for myself of why I didn’t succeed. But after reading through Carlos’ article it occurred to me …
There is no way I can determine in a short connection with a woman, why she was not into me. It could be any and every reason which had nothing to do with me at all. In fact the odds are, I didn’t do anything wrong at all.
(Don’t take this to mean you’re no doing things wrong. If you’re not attracting women consistently you’re missing a piece of the puzzle.)
However…
When I spend some time with a woman and all the signs of attraction or interest are missing then I know to just move on.
I can even learn something from it I didn’t realize before. In no way will that rejection form a limited belief inside my head. I know I must continue to work on myself and little by little the pieces will all fit together.
Articles, Resources, and Products to Help Any Man Determine If She is Attracted to You
The Biggest Mistake Guys Make Reading Body Language – Carlos Xuma
This can give you a glimpse into reading body language. Lots of men miss clues women give us and if we can teach ourselves the skill of reading them, we won’t be concerning ourselves so much with the questions of, “Do she like me?”
Understand How Women Think and Increase Your Dating Success – Scot McKay
This is an incredibly intuitive article. I believe you will enjoy it. Learning how women think can alleviate those unsure feeling you have determining if she is into you.
Dating Tips Mail Bag: What Women Want in a Man – David DeAngelo
This article was taken from David’s Newsletter Series. Be sure to sign up at the end. You will have to set aside fifteen minutes to read the entire thing but it’s worth it. It goes along with Scot’s theories above.
The best way to figure out if a woman is into you, is to be a man women want. Creating this natural indifference is key to any solid advice on attraction.
Why Are You Failing With Women – Steve Scott
Short article but you can find some useful information contained with the words. I’m sure of that.
Kiss on the First Date, How to Know if You Should Kiss A Woman – Steve Scott
Another short one from Steve but again, you will learn something you may not already know. You should always explore every avenue of information available and determine your own path from there.
How To Tell if She Likes You
Why don’t we let Marni’s Wing Girls tell you more. Their videos always manage to make laugh. And we get to learn something to. Can’t beat that combination.
“You’re the one with the penis, you’re the one that has to say that.” – Hahaha! Really ladies?
“Nickname…Shorty, Muffin, Blue Guy” – Wow girls, you’re too much.
“Guys that we don’t like, have Cooties.” – Nice. What grade are you in?
Fast Tube by Casper
What’s Inside A Woman’s Mind
If you liked the Wing Girl’s Video Above you should enjoy What’s Inside A Woman’s Mind. Determining if she is into you will require you to understand what goes on inside her mind.
It ‘s well known fact woman are more attracted to men who stay one step ahead of them in the flirting and dating game.
Are you one step ahead of her? Can you almost read her mind? How many women tell you how wonderful you are, because you UNDERSTAND them?
Don’t worry about it too much. Lots of men everywhere can not understand what goes on inside her mind. All you have to do is pick up a woman’s magazine, watch a “Chic Flick”, watch “Sex & The Cuty”, or ewwww!!! Yes I’m going to say it, watch “The View”. After doing that, can you honestly tell yourself you understand why women love that stuff.
If not, go right to the source and find out from The Wing Girls. Believe it or not, understanding how a woman feels attraction has a lot to do with those same reasons.
Alright if you’re absolutely fed up with reading a woman’s signal wrong, and you’re clueless on how to tell, if she is interested in you sexually, then you’re ready for What’s Inside A Woman’s Mind. Go there and let Marni tell you more about the benefits and products features you will be buying.
If you’re not sure, or you’re just not fed up with it all yet, or possibly you have some ideas but need to put things together more first…I have a little more info here at DiaLteG ™ on her product, you can find it here, Inside A Woman’s Mind – A Small review of the features and benefits I wrote.
Still not sure? No big deal. Stick around here for a while and read through my pages. I believe you can learn a ton here, and it’s all free. So please enjoy it and don’t forget to ask questions.
Girls Tell All
When it comes to getting women to talk there’s no one better at it, then me. Haha!
Seriously though guys I can get women to tell me secrets you wouldn’t believe. It’s a skill of connection, communication, comfort, and a knowledge of what women like to talk about.
But there’s a man who not only shares these skills with me, he supersedes me in putting it together so every man can experience that same ability and learn from it too.
He’s David Wygant. He brought together tons of hot women and asked them to reveal secrets most guys will never know. He also goes into how you can use this information to not have to ever worry about figuring out if she is attracted to you. After going through this entire series there will never be a doubt again.
And this is how you can use the knowledge you buy from him:
Projecting Confidence with your new knowledge.
Experiencing deeper connections.
Leading her through more exciting interactions.
Turning yourself into a man that knows how women like to be seduced.
If you can’t take being left in the dark anymore, so to speak, when in comes to how women think, go right here Girls Tell All, and let David Explain more to you.
If you’re just not ready yet…again not worries. You can read a little more here, Girls Tell All. I wrote some more on the features, benefits, and bonuses you’ll get. No need to fly off my pages just yet.
Please, feel free everyone to add to this page.
If you’re a woman tell us what’s on your mind.
If you’re a guy, ask me what you think she is thinking. I’d be more than happy to respond.
