Bart Simpson’s gets caught up in yet another crazy relationship with a girl, and it didn’t end well. Something tells me this cartoon boy just doesn’t understand women. Quite obvious when he screams,
“Just tell me what you want!”
For the conclusion of this three-part series of understanting women I’m going to focus on one phrase the girl says.
“Why are guys always trying control me?”
It occurred to me she was actually controlling him. He just pushed a button and caused her to accuse him of trying to control her. He did it by placing the my “girlfriend” label on her. She realizes that if she gives in, she loses a little control because she admits she likes him.
And that’s just a piece of it all or one way of looking at it.
Do all women act like this?
I believe no. Some do. That’s for sure. Some more extreme than others. I’m not going to put it in a number I can not back up. But I will say it’s negative thinking assuming women are like that. Even just considering it is probably a waste of thought. A better approach would to find the underlying reason that causes women to either do it or not. I bet if we look we can find it. It’s a great way to understand women a little, and you can do it on your own.
First let’s assume all women want control because in a way they do. I’ll explain. Their desire to survive is no different from you and I. They are compelled just the same way we are to control situations to make life easier. Even though they only have control of themselves. Normally this is socially acceptable. Although not recommended.
Now take two women for a great threesome. No… but both have a want to control.
One has less control than the other over who she is. Her life is controlled almost completely by others and because of it she lacks her own identity. She does not have the proper skills to control her feelings so she gains her identity by using her attractive self to control men. Put in another way…
Her inability to control her own life and lack of identity leaves the desire to control unchecked and unfulfilled. To fill this role she uses men and controls them.
The other women has control over her emotions and at least a socially acceptable control over things around her. Therefore this desire she has can be fulfilled and kept in check. There is no need to fulfill it by controlling others.
Two completely different actions comming from the same feeling.
What can this teach us about understanding women and attracting them?
Women have a desire to control just like you and I. Even though complete control is absurd and very unhealthy, a little has us, “tending the garden to control the insects, water and such.”
How many people would tend that “garden” if they knew, without a doubt, a big storm was coming and it would destroy the entire crop? Not many at all. But most do allow themselves to risk their hard work. In a way, they give up control by the risk they take.
Moving that entire concept above into what women want is getting clearer now. They have a desire to control yet they can be made willing to risk something and give up control if the reward is high enough. Just high enough. It doesn’t even have to be a frequent reward. Put in a sentence or two.
Women are willing to give up a little control if they believe first it is happening naturally, and secondly, the feeling of the reward is worth the risk.
This comes down to leadership. Leaders don’t just give orders. Leaders do not try to control everything. Leaders allow those underneath them to think and act on their own, then they guide the orders. This is one reason women are attracted to great leaders.
Alright I’ll get back to Bart and his not girlfriend.
You see once Bart brought up dating he unnaturally introduces a control which is not worth the reward giving up. It was the control that Bart showed over his own abilities that did excite her. They were worth the reward of a good time with a rebel. It was apparent this girl, being young and having such high demanding parents who controlled her life completely, was only going to give up the control with the greatest reward to her feelings. And that was controlling him and the situation between them. That gave her the highest emotions.
It’s unfortunate we have a negative example to learn from so before I finish this off let’s put a positive spin on all this.
Woman like dominant men. Even a dominate woman can be submissive when dealing with a man she is highly attracted to.
Dominant men have leadership and a sense of control. Being an abusive jerk can be dominating but I do not recommend this and never will.
However I will say giving a woman a sense you are in control of your life, can handle her life also, then allowing her to control her own life, is what she really wants. Always keeping in mind if you offer a reward that is less than her own feelings, the risk is not worth the reward, and you will not attractive many. Which means…
Why should she give up her control and be submissive to your advancements in dating and sex, when the feeling she experiences with you, are no better than her own. This is not a constant thing though. That’s the good news.
You only have to hint, tease her a little with that reward, and give her the reward when she least expects it. There’s no need to give her a wild and crazy ride when she just wants a fun, stable ride. Unless she enjoys jumping from planes, riding dirt bikes, and doing shit like that, most women are happy to experience that fun, stable ride. It’s comfortable and normally will mean a better relationship in her mind.
The reward is you.
Not how you look. Not how you dance. Not how much money you have. Sure the extreme in each case says you’re going to run into women where that stuff will matter but they are more rare. The reward is your ability to lead the experience naturally. I hate saying “just be yourself” but in this case it makes sense…
To attract more women into your life just be yourself and offer the reward of your greatest passions and desires at the times listed above.
As your passions and desires mature and expand yourself will change without direct effort. That is how you become very attractive to women.