Can Some Movies Actually Help You Stay Out of the Friends Zone?

by peter white on July 31, 2009

I remember when I considered myself the typical nice guy I would gravitate towards certain movies that would reinforce the idea that I could get out of the friends zone.

The star would, by performing some miraculous feat to prove who he was, get the girlfriend in the end. Those so-called cinema nerdy nice guys turned hot or sexy were getting laid by the end.

You must separate the quick emotional high from the longer lasting emotional stability that comes from a desire to learn something new

It gave me hope but no real advice because…

I would not look at them from a learning standpoint. It became more of a quick fix to feel better about myself. And like most quick fixes when it comes to dating and finding a girlfriend, put me in a worse place mentally.

Extreme quick highs lead to hard crashes and can even lead to a lowered self-esteem just like a highly addictive drug. And since emotions are created by highly addicting chemicals in your body the cycled ups and downs leave little room for clear productive thinking.

Some movies can help you stay out of the friends zone when they are viewed with the intent to learn from them and not just for entertainment purposes.

Get a notebook and write some stuff down. I know it sounds like a classroom book report but if you really want to learn a few skills or tips from them, you must separate the quick emotional high from the longer lasting emotional stability that comes from a desire to learn something new.

“Revenge of the Nerds“ A classic nice guy movie where a bunch of good guy nerds take on the rude jocks and win in the end, of course! What is it that they did to overcome this?

The help of their over-sized brains and an unbelievable alumni to back them up at the end. This movie is actually an example of what NOT to do and through some clear thinking we can see why. The main character tries to steal a girl from one of the jocks; making her see that nerds can be sexually dominant and yet still are better people or nice guys.

Wrong!

Trying to prove yourself to a woman through whatever means is the opposite of what you should actually do. You should never have to prove your worth to any woman or even anyone. If you do she will actually lower your status below hers and almost instantaneously put you in the friend’s zone… and she may never let you out.

Lead male characters in such films as Office Space and Hatley High can show us that indifference, mystery, being modest, and being cool, are highly effective sexual traits to build into your personality.

Women find those traits in a man irresistible and if she reads them in the first few minutes of meeting you, the only way to insure to be lumped into the, she’s a friend, that happens to be a girl role, is to be exactly that. Her friend and on top of that act so needy that you destroy all the attraction early on.

Notice the way Peter in “Office Space“, directly states his interests in Joanna when he asks her out (00:26:19). But more importantly, notice the way he asks. Pure indifference done in a charming way. His mannerisms. His tone of voice. His slow movements are all consistent with his indifference towards the outcome.

In “Hatley High“, Tommy plays a little too perfect sexual man at his age but it works for discussion. His emotions are always in check and in control. When Hyacinth attempts to use him for her own personal gain, he calls her out on it instantly and demands more from her, to ever be with him. Pay attention to his unwavering modesty because not trying to show off to prove yourself will leave her wondering.

Model his quiet flirting techniques that immediately sets the tone with her. It says,

“I am a sexual man. Sure. You might make a great friend so I’m going to allow you to prove to me, that you would make a great girlfriend. “

Being arrogant is not attractive but by being a modest person mixed with the attitude of allowing a woman to qualify herself to you, will not be seen as arrogant at all. And how can a man who never brags, or never uses his special ability to put someone else down, be arrogant?

I have way too many movies to add to this and I will soon add a few more examples. Specifically on different aspects of attractive traits nice guys can incorporate. Let me know if you are having trouble analyzing them and I will see what I can do with it.

Keep in mind that staying out of the friends zone requires some time and patience but I feel if your focus is on the learning and not the outcome you can see better, more stable fulfilling results quicker, rather than quicker results with high emotions that in all likelihood makes it worse in the end when the big crash comes.

So grab a pen, a notebook, and watch that movie again, but this time take away how to stay out of the friend’s zone.

More Movies To Check Out:

Just Friends

Classic friend’s zone movie. I noticed the blame game in it the most. Be warned that just putting yourself out there, will not work unless there is actually an attraction to begin with.

Along Came Polly (Widescreen Edition)

A great movie about overcoming fears.

He’s Just Not That Into You

Never saw but a few girlfriend’s of mine said that movie reminded them of me. So I added here.

Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist

Watch this boy closely. Yeah he’s a boy but he reminded me of Beck and there’s not too many women that would turn down Beck.

Employee of the Month (Widescreen Edition)

Charming, funny, and a little absurd but you must admit women like this guy.

Hitch (Widescreen Edition)

WATCH THIS NOW! No. Make sure you pay attention to how to treat a woman in this and its strong ethics I will always abide by. Women are not just bodies.

Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind (Widescreen Edition)

Classic movie about limited beliefs.

10 Things I Hate About You

#1 for learning about tension, flirting, and romance. I could also write a page on this one alone.

Indifference! Indifference! Indifference! His sense of urgency combined with his sense of who cares can get any woman to eventually fall in love with him. They sense his passion and excitement for living in the moment. I could write a whole featured post on this movie!

There’s Something About Mary

Everyone wants a cool chic, right? Haha! Notice the only guy that gets the girl in the end, is the one who allow himself to be himself, and allows his attractive traits to show through.