A Canned Opener or Pickup Routine that Often Leads to Failure

I got this call from my girlfriend tonight. She began telling me about what had happened at the market while she was shopping for hair color.  Believe it or not I was just  about to finish my my recent post here and right before I did, I got sidetracked reading a blog about about why men struggle so much when cold approaching a woman in a place like that. They just don’t what to say. She then began telling about this older guy who walked up to her and insisted that he knew her from somewhere. He mentioned a few places he might have seen her even though she pleasantly said,

“No, I don’t think so.”

He then proceed to go right into,

“I’m a psychiatrist and I’m new to the area, maybe I can get your number or email and we can do something sometime.  I don’t know many people here yet so maybe we can be friends.”

She politely says,

“No, I don’t just give out my number and I really don’t use email.”

At this point she is highly annoyed and a little creeped out by this much older man’s insistence. She is now willing to get his number just to get him to leave and as she reaches for her phone he asks,

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

She replies with,

“Yes I do.”

He apologizes and says his goodbyes.

Lets talk about what he did wrong. I give him credit for trying but his tactics were awful. Then I’ll tell you about a man that is basically a  “Dating Doctor” on the subject of starting real conversation with women, conversations that can be simple and short but will lead to better interactions with any woman you meet.

First thing that comes up, “Don’t I know you from somewhere?”

Not only overused will but will most likely only get a simple uneasy conversation from a nice girl who doesn’t want to be rude. Approaching a woman in a shopping place is no different than any other place where you can have a real conversation. Even if brief. So revel in the fact there are very few distractions like loud music and drunk friends. My style is quite humorous and often a bit cocky so the first thing that pops in my head  is about noticing what she is shopping for. I know nothing about hair dye but humor is on my side so I’ll reach for any light color and with a dead pan serious face say,

“I really need to dye my pubic hairs for an upcoming film, which color do you think would look better on me?”

THIS MUST BE DONE SO STRAIGHT FACED AND TOTALLY SEROUS OR YOU JUST MIGHT GET SLAPPED…. SO GOOD LUCK WITH IT!

But think of how the conversation will go from there. Enjoy the dead silence as it sinks in her mind what you just said. A young woman with a sense of humor will most likely give a good laugh and you have the beginnings of a fun flirty sexual moment.

The point I am making is that it’s best to NOT ask random questions to someone you don’t know. If you try to meet her on false pretenses it will cause obvious problems later. Getting a woman’s number and a date after, requires for you to start off honestly.Unless you spin in good humor and be confident and comfortable doing it. Like pretending you’re a porn star.

She was shopping for hair color to make her self look better, for me ,of course. No, she obviously is interested in changing her hair or she is buying it for a friend which is very unlikely. Just mentioning that to her is at genuine and much better than false pretenses. Slowly lead in if you are in the mood for complimenting but you only get to give her one compliment.

“Are you thinking about changing your hair color? If you do I’ll never speak to you again. The color of your hair right now is perfect.”

Again, taking something out of what she is doing or interacting with, so she’s thinking about it. Easy to get a stimulating conversation  going whether its the strong sexual lead in earlier about you being a porn star, or a softer approach with a cocky compliment.

Next you shouldn’t imply friendship if you are interested in more. It’s dishonest and inconsistent with your approach. If you want to “Neg” a hot woman, you should only state a friendship with a sarcastic or flirtatious tone. “We can never be goods friends, we’d fight over who’s hair color is better constantly.”

Lastly,  NEVER ask a woman if she has a boyfriend if she doesn’t release her phone number to you initially. At this point your persistence might pay off  but as as soon as you ask that question… you’re done. Even if you get her phone number you’re going to have to work so hard to get her to answer or to  go out on a date that you’ll be wasting precious time. Precious times that’s better served learning on how to correct the flawed approach and find the next woman, perhaps a new one in the detergent aisle and you can ask, grabbing some snuggle fabric softener ,

“Would you date a guy that always smelled like this all the time?”

And hand her the snuggle you just opened so she can smell it.

On to the best “Dating Doctor” out there. He is truly one of us nice guys. If you don’t believe me just go through some of his blog postings at  David Wygant , and you’ll see why. Search for his “Be Authentic” post and watch his rant on what guys should not do when approaching women. His passion on the subject is clear. I mentioned him on this page because he has marvelous techniques on how you can go about picking up hot girls without using pickup lines. 20 Ways To Meet Hotter Women or Girls Tell All: Pick Up Lines are some programs he offers that can be related to this particular post.

I really do hope he can help you out in this area and who knows, maybe my girlfriend will get lucky and the next guy that attempts to pick her up will be one of his students and I’ll get to hear about a great conversation she had with a really nice guy.

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Tagged as: conversation, David Wygant, funny, picking up, Women