That means about 29% of all searches made to my page are from curious women, asking, what in essence the title of this post. “So… You Like This Guy…and He’s Just Your Friend.”
I recently wrote an article for women, Ten Secrets to Break a Guys Heart, and I feel you will find, contained with the absurdity of the list, is a stripped down version of what men are attracted to.
Ten Secrets on How to Break a Guy’s Heart.
1.) Shower him with attention and then suddenly take it away.
2.) Let him know how much you enjoy listening to him speak about his life, and then stop asking about it.
3.) Be his lover. Be his friend. Pull back sexually and then… just be his friend.
4.) Agree to being in a committed relationship with him but then get scared and act fearfully.
5.) Shower him with affection and gifts the last day you plan on seeing him as a lover.
6.) Tell him you don’t believe that he will miss you or you can not understand why he even would.
7.) Always widen your eyes and give him a big smile when it has been some time since you last saw each other. Then turn that smile to a frown and a look of being unsure about where the relationship is going.
8.) Tell him how much you care about him but that you don’t believe in love.
9.) Enjoy wild nights of sexual gratification and be open in bed to exploration of each others desires. But then let him believe you are not good enough for him.
10.) Be sweet. Be fun. Be caring. Be sexy…
Be loving. Be supportive. Be daring. Be “sexty”….
And then one day, just stop being there.
Tagged as:
advice,
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Dating,
David Wygant,
feel,
friend,
Friendship,
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lifestyle,
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Women,
zone
“Wow. (slight pause) You are beautiful. (pause) Listen… I don’t want to be your friend. I don’t want to be the guy you call up at three o’clock in the morning, complaining about all the jerks in your life. I don’t want to be the man who listens to you whine about all the creepy guys that hit on you that day. And I definitely don’t want to be the man who you blow off for some great sex with a loser. I just don’t want to be him. (big pause) I want to be the guy who lights up your eyes when I enter a room. I want to be the man who you wake up in the morning thinking about, and the last person on your mind before you go to sleep. I want to be the man who will hold your hand one minute, and wrestle you to the ground the next. I want to be the man who you’ll come up with every excuse to be next to. The man that makes your mind wonder, and your heart beat just a little quicker. That’s the man I want to be and if there is even a slightest doubt in your mind that I might not be that man, tell me now, and I’ll walk away.”
Tagged as:
attitude,
Carlos Xuma,
Dating,
David DeAngelo,
David Wygant,
friend,
indifference
The reality of it all is that I was consoling myself. I was acting like a boy, not a man. I was wallowing in my self pity and I became addicted to the emotions associated it with it. And yes, I was acting like a small child because in a way, I was pouting. And pouting is what boys do to get his mother’s attention. Except the attention I was seeking was hoping, in a small way, that she would feel sorry for me enough to like me more as more than just a friend. Which is absolutely absurd and when you think about it, a nice guy’s manipulation tactic that always fails. It’s just plain unattractive.
Tagged as:
advice,
feelings,
needy,
Relationship
I still can not believe how many women come to my pages being stuck in the friend’s zone. But then again when I think back to all the women that were obviously interested in me and yet I felt nothing for them, I suppose it’s possible.
Tagged as:
feel,
feelings,
friends,
Friendship,
opposite,
Relationships,
understanding
I was a prisoner doing a life sentence. The jury that handed me the verdict consisted of only women.
“Guilty,” They read aloud.
“On all counts.”
The judge peered at me with a disgusted look on his face. The reading glasses he wore were sliding off the tip of his nose reflecting a blinding light on me. I squinted back up at him hoping for compassion but I never got it. He demanded I make reparations and that I, Peter White, be deemed to live out my life as number 674893123. A prisoner of the friend’s zone.
Tagged as:
Attraction,
control,
Friendship,
Neil Strauss,
Relationship,
Women
Well if you’re like most people you haphazardly throw your pissed off hand underneath the bed. You begin to poke and feel but you just can not seem to find it. So you lean over a little for that extra reach and, hey, there it is. You separate your thumb and finger hoping to pull it in and by doing so, you push it away even further from you.
You’re so comfortable and warm. You just don’t want to get up. So you try again but this time there’s no way to get it. It’s gone. Lost in the darkness and far from your view. You have two choices now. Get up, turn on a light, and skilfully acquire the ring. Or you can just roll over and wait until morning.
Which do you choose?
Tagged as:
comfortable,
Cool,
learn,
luck,
Relationship
I know when I was in the friend’s zone constantly I never felt attractive. Women called me cute, and nice. Far from attractive. The clear reason for them choosing these adjectives was the lack of deep feelings associated with me. Granted cute is emotional when you’re pinching a kid’s cheek, but calling a full-grown adult, cute or nice, is far from an attractive compliment.
It goes like this:
—————————-
MAN:
(leans in for a kiss and she pulls back)
What’s the matter? Don’t you find me attractive?
WOMAN:
(trying to be nice)
No that’s not it all. I think you’re cute, and so nice. But I just don’t like you that way.
—————————-
WOMAN:
(trying to figure out if he like her)
Do you think I’m good looking?
MAN:
(trying to be nice)
Of course I do. I’m just not ready to start a relationship with someone right now.
—————————-
Tagged as:
Attraction,
attractive,
challenge,
comort,
energy,
feel,
feelings,
friend zone,
friends zone,
Friendship,
fun,
Man,
negative,
nice,
postive,
sexual,
Woman
This question is classic. You start thinking to yourself. I’m better than him. Or what does she have that I don’t. He kisses her ass and I can not see why. I don’t get it.
This sort of thinking often leads us down a road of negativity. It is very unhealthy and cause us to shut ourselves off from the rest of the world. It becomes obvious to those around us and will certainly land you in the friend’s zone frequently because no one enjoys dating someone whose confidence is false. True confident people don’t use others to boost themselves up. In fact they often do the opposite. They use their abilities to help others. They use their confidence to offer leadership. And good leaders rarely find it hard to attract someone sexually.
Tagged as:
attitude,
Attraction,
Carlos Xuma,
Confidence,
Friendship,
inner game,
Jealousy,
Leadership,
Relationship,
Relationships,
self esteem
This question is also about determining where you think you are on that indifference scale. The odd part of this scale is when you are on one extreme side, it’s easy to tell where you are. But most of us are not there. We lie somewhere along the scale and just one small step to the left or right, can make all the difference on the world.
Here is the scale.
Tagged as:
excuse,
Friendship,
indifference,
indifferent
I use to know this feeling all too well. The longer we go without a date, the longer we go without a relationship, the longer we go without experiencing deep intimacy or a great sexual experience…
Seems to take that goal of companionship further away from us.
Tagged as:
alone,
Attraction,
connections,
indifferent,
Relationship
I would meet her, become friends with her, and slowly over time try to win her affection through my nice guy ways. And it never worked!
It wasn’t a matter of me wanting to become friends first to enter a relationship or was more of an excuse I would use. The excuse rationalized my thinking I could get women to like me over time.
Tagged as:
advice,
Attraction,
control,
Dating,
excuse,
friend,
friends,
need,
person,
Relationship,
romance,
tactic
Because bad boy is not bad. What’s bad, is the jerk. The jerk is not the same thing as the bad boy. Okay, There’s a very big difference here. Bad boy’s got that mischievous smirk on his face. He’s the one that has got a little bit of that clever look in his eye like, I’m having fun on my own terms. I’m not hurting anyone but I’m getting my fun. And I’m making sure other people enjoy themselves too.
Tagged as:
Alpha Man,
bad,
bad boy,
Carlos Xuma,
guy,
jerks,
little,
love,
masculinity,
Peter White,
Women
Women and men both have needs and desires. We need to find the love of our life to feel like our we can fulfill our desires. Women want a man to captivate her. Men want a woman to satisfy him.
I find it hard to believe that any one person man out there has not once found themselves falling for a friend. It only stands to reason. We often share so much with close friends. We confide in them. We rely on them. We share interests and sometimes even goals.
Tagged as:
love
An approval seeking man. Haha! That’s not what we’re here for.
We’re here for, we create our own approval.
We go out and forge our own path. We cut our own trail through this life. And that’s what it is to be a man.
And that goes right against the grain of what it is to be a man, by seeking approval of all the other people out there. It’s just not good.
Tagged as:
Alpha Man,
Carlos Xuma,
energy,
inner game,
leader,
Leadership,
masculinity,
Peter White
I finished my interview with my good friend DeAnna we ended up getting into a discussion about cuddling. It’s no secret that women love to cuddle and she is no exception. But what about friends cuddling? I know me, as a man. I don’t hang out with a guy friend of mine and end up [...]
Tagged as:
cuddle,
friends,
lover,
talk,
Women
