I was at college majoring in music. And yet, music was my passion. I met this girl. A cute blond. She represented my most sought out physical features in a woman. Blond. Full lips. Blue eyes. Perfect ass. Sounds wonderful huh? But her personality wasn’t all that good. Sure she was a little fun being around. Sure we shared a love of music, she also majored in music; yet when I think about it now…
That was it.
Everything else just didn’t match up. I was a hippie and into the artistic social scenes. She was a “Jockette” and into basketball players.
Tagged as:
attractive,
Emotion,
emotions,
feelings,
lifestyle,
passion,
Relationship,
Relationships,
romance
The reality of it all is that I was consoling myself. I was acting like a boy, not a man. I was wallowing in my self pity and I became addicted to the emotions associated it with it. And yes, I was acting like a small child because in a way, I was pouting. And pouting is what boys do to get his mother’s attention. Except the attention I was seeking was hoping, in a small way, that she would feel sorry for me enough to like me more as more than just a friend. Which is absolutely absurd and when you think about it, a nice guy’s manipulation tactic that always fails. It’s just plain unattractive.
Tagged as:
advice,
feelings,
needy,
Relationship
Well if you’re like most people you haphazardly throw your pissed off hand underneath the bed. You begin to poke and feel but you just can not seem to find it. So you lean over a little for that extra reach and, hey, there it is. You separate your thumb and finger hoping to pull it in and by doing so, you push it away even further from you.
You’re so comfortable and warm. You just don’t want to get up. So you try again but this time there’s no way to get it. It’s gone. Lost in the darkness and far from your view. You have two choices now. Get up, turn on a light, and skilfully acquire the ring. Or you can just roll over and wait until morning.
Which do you choose?
Tagged as:
comfortable,
Cool,
learn,
luck,
Relationship
I know when I was in the friend’s zone constantly I never felt attractive. Women called me cute, and nice. Far from attractive. The clear reason for them choosing these adjectives was the lack of deep feelings associated with me. Granted cute is emotional when you’re pinching a kid’s cheek, but calling a full-grown adult, cute or nice, is far from an attractive compliment.
It goes like this:
—————————-
MAN:
(leans in for a kiss and she pulls back)
What’s the matter? Don’t you find me attractive?
WOMAN:
(trying to be nice)
No that’s not it all. I think you’re cute, and so nice. But I just don’t like you that way.
—————————-
WOMAN:
(trying to figure out if he like her)
Do you think I’m good looking?
MAN:
(trying to be nice)
Of course I do. I’m just not ready to start a relationship with someone right now.
—————————-
Tagged as:
Attraction,
attractive,
challenge,
comort,
energy,
feel,
feelings,
friend zone,
friends zone,
Friendship,
fun,
Man,
negative,
nice,
postive,
sexual,
Woman
This question is classic. You start thinking to yourself. I’m better than him. Or what does she have that I don’t. He kisses her ass and I can not see why. I don’t get it.
This sort of thinking often leads us down a road of negativity. It is very unhealthy and cause us to shut ourselves off from the rest of the world. It becomes obvious to those around us and will certainly land you in the friend’s zone frequently because no one enjoys dating someone whose confidence is false. True confident people don’t use others to boost themselves up. In fact they often do the opposite. They use their abilities to help others. They use their confidence to offer leadership. And good leaders rarely find it hard to attract someone sexually.
Tagged as:
attitude,
Attraction,
Carlos Xuma,
Confidence,
Friendship,
inner game,
Jealousy,
Leadership,
Relationship,
Relationships,
self esteem
This question is also about determining where you think you are on that indifference scale. The odd part of this scale is when you are on one extreme side, it’s easy to tell where you are. But most of us are not there. We lie somewhere along the scale and just one small step to the left or right, can make all the difference on the world.
Here is the scale.
Tagged as:
excuse,
Friendship,
indifference,
indifferent
I use to know this feeling all too well. The longer we go without a date, the longer we go without a relationship, the longer we go without experiencing deep intimacy or a great sexual experience…
Seems to take that goal of companionship further away from us.
Tagged as:
alone,
Attraction,
connections,
indifferent,
Relationship
I would meet her, become friends with her, and slowly over time try to win her affection through my nice guy ways. And it never worked!
It wasn’t a matter of me wanting to become friends first to enter a relationship or was more of an excuse I would use. The excuse rationalized my thinking I could get women to like me over time.
Tagged as:
advice,
Attraction,
control,
Dating,
excuse,
friend,
friends,
need,
person,
Relationship,
romance,
tactic
