First dates! You have to love them.
The nervous chatter. The butterflies.
The stress of trying impress someone all the while hoping your date will impress you.
The memory of your last first date still lingering lit’s it’s some traumatic event.
Have you ever wondered who’s more nervous… you or her? Who holds the high ground here.
Well let me tell you about this little firecracker I know who just happens to call me coach… because while on her way to a “first date” she called me for advice.
Just so you know, when we go out guys drool over her.
Anyways she claims to have a problem… She only goes out with jerks!
She’s freshly out of a two-year relationship and is desperate to do things “different” this time.
She want two things right now. Avoid the past mistakes and have fun.
Quite a tall order for a short ass girl on a first date.
They first started talking on Facebook.
Pretty cool huh? I’m impressed by the guy already.
Yes, despite my lack of social site involvement it IS possible to create a Facebook page women will check out. Use them to get more dates!
Know these three things…
- Don’t do what I do there: DiaLteG TM on Facebook
- Lots of available women are using them everyday, and many times a day.
- Facebook – Friend into Lovers produced by David Wygant will work with you to get the job done.
Okay so they meet on Facebook and decide to meet up face to face at for dinner.
She’s excited AND scared. It’s been years since she’s been on a date making it that much more important and of course with the entire night ahead of her, she’s incredibly nervous!!!
I got “the call” while she was driving to the restaurant.
Her words were, “I need some last minute advice!” but I suspect the rationalization of her feelings needed to be spoken to someone willing to listen.
She’s worried about what to say or what to talk about. The uncomfortable silences creeping in the “ruin” the night.
One more thing, did I mention she’s “flaky” and in all her nervous prep leaves the house without any money. Well there’s the ten she found in her coat pocket. Definitely not enough here in New York.
Imagine this young woman…. A total “hot” mess. Speaking quickly. Answering her own questions with even more questions. Thoughts are popping in her head and disappearing before she can even get them out.
In the very end she’s actually beginning to feel vulnerable and on top of it all the biggest question of the night,
“What if he doesn’t pay for the meal?”
Talk about an awkward ending.
I tell her this,
“I don’t feel it’s a man’s responsibility to pay for the date exclusively BUT you must be upfront about forgetting your money. Just tell him right away. Get it out. or else you’re going to worry about it and it’s not going to fun.”
Well of course she doesn’t agree. She feels it is the mans responsibility to pay for the date. Did I mention she wasn’t really looking for advice?
So I move on,
“I say it’s the man’s role just to keep the conversation going. Say a few things and let her run with it. AND it’s also his best bet to LEAD the evening. Kind of like being one step ahead of her.”
Maybe because she had just pulled up to the restaurant and hangs up the phone.
T follow-up phone call came as she was driving away.
She again thanked me and told he that DID find topics to keep the conversation going.
How a lot of her nervousness went away when I told her how HE should lead the evening and when he did, it relaxed her and she followed along.
He paid for the meal when she went to the bathroom ( smart man ) and overall…
He was a nice guy…. more to come –> First Date Advice. Who’s More Nervous, you or Him? Part 2. Will She See Him Again?
First Date Advice:
Women are nervous too on your first date. Their thoughts race through their bodies just like yours do.
Some will feel insecure.
Some will feel just anxious.
Some will experience both at the same time!
Notice the one piece of advice I gave to my friend which helped her out the most… Leading the date.
It relaxed her and when he took charge… made all the difference in the world.
It’s very important to plan effective dates so you can at least pretend you got everything under control. Sure you can drift from the plan but be prepared.
Done right YOU create the right mood and she WILL follow.
If you’re all over the place she too will feel more nervous, less responsive, and vulnerable. And the guards go up making the evening work and not fun.
Here’s some advice to follow through with, ONLY from the best:
PLAN THE DATE: Innovative Ideas For Dates She Will Never Forget.
INVITE HER HERE: 32 Great Date Places – Where To Go and Meet Up With Her.
MY HELPFUL ADVICE: Dating – Where, When, How – From The First Fun Date Experience And On.
LEAD THE CONVERSATION: Conversation Topics That Keep Her Attention, Charm Her and Attract Her.
DO THIS: How To Act On The First Date.
LOOSEN HER UP BY LEADING HER: How and Why Creating Her Body Language Makes You The Leader She Wants.
If you’re curious enough to ask if she’ll see him for a second date… First Date Advice. Who’s More Nervous, you or Him? Part 2. Will She See Him Again?