Dating – What To Talk About

Out of all the women I’ve talked to about dating I can not recall one of them asking me this question. They have asked me what to do if the conversation goes cold, or if there are long uncomfortable silences but that’s about it. I suppose that would substantiate the truth behind the  ”Woman love to talk” saying.

Yet when it comes to guys, I can not count how many times men want to know what to talk about. Unfortunately it’s these men that are most afraid of screwing it up with her. They’re afraid of offending her and saying something stupid to ruin the date. This fear is a big reason why they freeze up. Their mind’s go blank and even sometimes forget what they were talking about just a few minutes before. They will also often try to steer the conversation unnaturally trying to seem interested in what she is saying. When in reality they are too wrapped up in what to say to fully be able to care what she is talking about.

FOR WOMAN: It’s not that they don’t care, or even know how to listen, it’s because they don’t know what to talk about or their minds are going crazy inside. They’re trying too hard to be liked and too hard to be their real self with opinions that matter to them.

I must say though that women usually do put out a series of questions as if they were scripted from their first date experience. I was out with a woman last week and she was getting work off her chest. I figured in order for her to relax she should get it out of her system. The quicker she did it, the quicker we can get to really enjoying ourselves. But there was a point in which I had to say, “Enough is enough. Let’s talk about something different.” And out spewed the questions…

FOR MEN: Remember just because a woman is asking these questions doesn’t mean she likes or dislikes you. It because she’s interested in finding out more about you. And you don’t have to answers these questions. I’m not saying to lie. I’m merely pointing out she’s interested in knowing the answers. If you answer in a boring and matter of fact way the conversation might get boring and you’ll soon find yourself wondering what else she is going to ask about you personally. Cause yes, these are personal questions. And on a first date they may even be too personal.

Have you ever seen the  show, “Seinfeld”? There are a few episodes where George Jerry and George are writing a sitcom and the premise of the show is nothing. No matter what is said about it they answer, “No It’s about nothing.“Well ladies and gentlemen,  if you’re fooling yourself into believing you must talk about something on a date, you are wrong. You must have a great conversation but it doesn’t have to be about anything at all. Exciting conversations happen, they are not made or pre-scripted, unless you are a literary genius.

Just look at some of the great conversation movies out there and really listen to them. My most favorite writer/director has always been Kevin Smith because of the scripts are incredibly written and exciting to listen to. Yet it’s not the actions but the actors and they way the communicate which makes the script come to life.

FOR EVERYONE: It’s not the words, it’s not always what you are talking about, it’s how you communicate yourself and your stories which leads the listener in and makes them want to know more. When someone is interested in learning more about you and you can hold back and tease them with strong communication skills, they will begin to feel something for you. They will leave the date wanting to know more.

I was going to write something about what topics to talk about, and what topics to avoid but if you don’t know it already ask below and we can begin the discussion.

I look forward to hearing from everyone.