Are You an Expert in Online Dating?

Free tips and great articles will only get you so far in dating online. But I feel I have put together a great resource for any guy to learn from. It’s aimed, of course, at the nice guy wanting to escape the friend’s zone, but anyone can learn something from it. Remember this is free advice and nothing beats paying a proficient expert.

And yes I have purchased dating advice for the internet. They advised me through free social sites, paid online personals, and matchmaking dating sites.

So what is the difference between paid advice and free tips?

Free tips are broadly based to fit the masses and can only be found to fit the individual after hours, days, or weeks, of searching. And even then you are only guaranteed in finding the typical broadly based advice.

Paid advisement is information always at your fingertips. It often covers very large areas so it is easy to connect personally with large amounts of content. It should include video, actual profiles, testing of messages, what to say, what not to say, and any questions you have, should be answered.

And yes, building material of that size requires intelligence, time, patience, skill, experience, and complete testing.  That is what you pay for and that is why paying for it, offers so much more.

I woke up today and spent over four hours going through my web search engine. I fed it the words, “online dating advice”. I didn’t even attempt to use the word free in there. Who knows what that would have brought up. The list it spewed back at me was awful, and this is coming from a guy that believes in Google, thinks Bing should take a walk, and poor poor Yahoo, I’m pulling for you man.

Getting back on track and online dating for the nice guy, I am going to share with the free advice I found. I have only been able to share with you a few on my little brat sister page, Attraction101.net. And that will make it easier for you. The other sites are links outside of the Dialteg™ world.  Read through them and hit the back button.

Online Dating Advice at Attraction 101 Dating Tips for Men: How to Write An Online Personal Ad by Carlos Xuma 4 Step Guide to Meeting Women – How to Meet Women on Facebook by Carlos Xuma Online Dating Secrets Revealed by David Wygant Online Traffic by David Wygant Profile Liars by David Wygant

Online Dating Advice from Around the Web Online Dating Advice: Exactly What to Say In A First Message Top 10 Mistakes in Online Dating Profiles Online Dating Advice For Guys Five Tips for Getting Your Singles Dating Profile  Noticed Men’s 8 Most irritating Online Behaviors by David Wygant

Do you feel like an expert in online dating yet and was it just a brush up course?

Either way you’ve been bombarded by similar, but solid advice and you should have a good understanding of how to write a personal ad, how to message someone, what mistakes to avoid, and how you should not lie in your profile.

All great but overly simple advice. I hope by now you can see how the depth of the tips offered, is very shallow. The reason for this has already been explained. I decided to post these so you don’t bother wasting you time looking for the obvious.

Now I am going to share my personal thoughts with you about internet dating. I have met several people who have successfully used online dating. A few marriages. A few wonderful relationships. But unfortunately for every happy ending there were ten more horror stories. I have experienced a few horror stories myself.

There are several parts to the internet personals.

Your Profile. Your Photo. The messages you send. Think about those three very carefully. Unlike in the real world you can’t present yourself with body language, voice inflection, or social proofing. There is a limited social proofing on free social sites but that’s as far as it goes.

The articles I have linked for you will give you great insight. Follow their advice completely and keep trying until you find something that works best for you.

WARNING to the nice guys finding themselves stuck in the friend’s zone:

The internet is not real life but don’t expect online dating to be much different when it comes to finding a girlfriend or getting dates. If you approach it with the same nice guy ways, chances are you will still find yourself landing in the friend’s zone. It’s inevitable.

Learn to use the internet for practice, experimenting, and discovering that attractive man inside you. Keep in mind though you are dealing with real people, most of the time, so don’t be an ass. One loser a couple weeks ago decided to use a social site to tell every woman he sees, that they were whores, including my girlfriend. In his profile he even claimed we should not judge others by how they look. What a joke and a waste of everyone’s time.

As a nice guy a great way to learn to stay out of the friend’s zone is to practice flirting and creating sexual tension with humor, on chat sites. Here is a great example you can use with another warning:

When you are practicing online you must not fall for some woman that lives a half a world away and keep your chats to a limited time. As a past friend’s zone leader I found the longer I talked to a hot girl, the more I would get hooked. So don’t go there. The end will be disappointing.

…back to the tip of flirting online.

Pick a woman that she seems cool and definitely has a great sense of humor. They are always the easiest to talk to. Most of the time all you have to say is

“Hey, what’s up?”

And as long as your profile doesn’t scare her away, there’s a good chance she will respond.  Always look at who they are and read their profile first, it does help. Just don’t get too caught up in her words. Read between the lines and learn to do it quickly. Get past her persona which is usually the opposite of what she says she is.

Here is a little of what I wrote to women that I got fun flirty responses from. Remember though, I read their profiles first and quickly came up with these.

“You know if our two countries end up in a war someday, we should run away to Mexico. You can get a job as a french translator and support me as I work on my novel, American Binge Eating, are you going to finish that hot dog? “

“Please tell me you’re keeping a tally of guys that say poke to you. We’ll make a Tshirt saying I’ve been poked ‘this many many times’. We’ll sell it, make amillion, and travel the world together. “

“Too bad you hate Iowa. It’s my favorite state.”

“You are stunning. We should get to know each other. You’ll like me. Hell, I like me.”

“Yes. That was a compliment. Please don’t get used to it. Mostly I just like to say things like,
Def Leppard? How could you like them? And I thought you had good taste.
But then again you did respond to me…that’s show marvelous taste and extremely good judge of character.”

“Hey *her name*. I’m an asshole and much more of a tease than you. Hahaha.
You’re cute and way too young for me, but you get my vote anyways.”

“Well, Zuh-o-ee, let’s define that personality of yours.
In Greek, Zoe means “Life”. Have you been living up to your name?”

“I see that someday you might make a great Papparazzi to all the road workers out there.
What other random shit do you do?”

HER: “Haha. Do you REALLY have that bad of a knee fetish? =P”

ME: “Of course I do. Would I bullshit about something like that? Here I pour my deepest feelings out for you, and you question my sincerity. Hahaha.
But seriously, Show me your other knee? Ahem Ahem.”
HER:” =P  Not with that attitude. No more knees for you… EVER.”

“Obviously, I don’t have to prove anything. You’ll figure it out all on your own.
Just don’t be ordinary and ask me boring questions about my life, and the next thing you know…”
“Bite anyone lately?”
“Are you feeling lucky today?”
“Hey typical girl. You don’t have to fill out these profiles. We’ll just flirt and call each other names.”
“C’mon now. What would life be without tourists and rednecks?”
“Amateur model extraordinaire?”

That should give you an idea and how I engage women on a social/chat site. Too much cocky is bad. Too much humor is not flirting. Blend them together with a mix based on her persona. Aside from the ones that just appear too bitchy and full of themselves in their profiles. I have not had too much success with them. I usually don’t bother anymore they are just not worth the time. I prefer to talk to intelligent, laid back, and just overall cool girls. If you want to break down the bitch barrier I had the best success accidentally. I leave comments on their pictures, busting on it slightly and when they wrote back they couldn’t remember what the picture was all about.

How can a guy tell if his flirting online is not working?

• One words answers are bad. If you can’t get her to say more than a few words. Stop what you’re doing and move on before you make it worse. You can come back to her later, much later. Cut it short with charm and courtesy.

• She’s not laughing.

• She doesn’t play back.

• She doesn’t begin to ask questions about you personally within a reasonable amount of time.

There is at least on reason some men excel highly through the internet and some men consistently fail. I have found that the men that succeed more often than not have several traits in common.

• Their profiles are exciting and fairly short. Their pictures either show adventure, good times, themselves relaxing, and they are pleasant to look at.

• Their personality when they engage in chatting are extremely consistent with what they say in their profiles.

• They create memorable experiences through their words when they have a conversation. This I admit is tough to do if you are not a great writer but if you can’t type out something different and you are not willing to learn to do it, then why are you on the internet looking for women. It’s a necessity to learn to use most words properly. You don’t have to be an English major.  Hell I managed to pump out 70 different pages here and there are errors everywhere. But I keep learning something new about writing with each post.

That magical experience I was talking about should go like this. Engage quickly into a fun flirty conversation. Don’t let up the slack and give in to boring normal conversation. Keep it going and when you feel you hit the peak, excuse yourself nicely and go do something. Get up do some laundry. Wash the dishes. Obviously don’t tell her what you’re going to do if it’s to watch a chic flick, just tell her you’ve got things to do. The point is to leave on a very high point in the conversation. You’re least likely to screw it up and to her, it was a great time she will remember. Either that or actually set up a time everyday where you limit yourself on how much time you have. That way you don’t have a choice.

A great way even in everyday real world situations, to stay out of the friend’s zone. Find a passion, or a couple, and do them. Stay busy. When you interact with women always have an exciting conversation, flirt, and throw in some cocky humor. Leave early and don’t concern yourself so much about where the conversation is going. Very few women, if any at all, would throw an indifferent, confident fun, flirty, exciting conversationalist, into the friend’s zone. Then the choice becomes yours, not hers.

I wanted to accomplish two things on this page. First to give nice guys, or women,  struggling with online dating a very basic course. It’s a lot of reading but everything I included I firmly believe in. I have seen it work, or I have done it myself. If you take the advice and use it to fit your own individual needs, it will work. The rest is up to you. Secondly, if you must go deeper I’m going to suggest you pay for it. It’s worth it. I would start with David Wygant. From what I have seen, or you might have read my mention before, He is one of the best. he can help in creating online success for any man willing to learn.

Related articles by Peter White

• Online Dating and the Nice Guy. (dialteg.com)
• Make Online Social Sites Worth Your Time And Money (dialteg.com)

Tagged as: Communication, Dating, Flirting, inner game, Personals