Written by David DeAngelo – Double Your Dating by David DeAngelo© – Learn Secrets about Women and Dating Most Men Will Never Know.
I just bought the advanced CD series & it’s amazing what a difference they make over the book. Being able to listen on the way to work, whilst out doing chores, etc. is cool. I can feel the confidence building inside me, it’s like my own personal coach.
The C&F doesn’t come naturally to me at present so I’ve taken your advice and am using the internet as a ‘woman simulator’ in order to practice. I’ve had mixed results so far, I think a few took the teasing the wrong way as some of them would suddenly stop replying.
I must be better at the C&F than I thought though. The first time I went on this site I was chatting to a few girls and one of them ended up giving me her mobile and asking if we could go for coffee before I had chance to. Anyway my question: You suggest that a date should simply be ‘tea & stimulating conversation’, which for all of the reasons you give makes perfect sense to me.
But once I’ve done the tea & conversation with this girl, do you have any suggestions for other dates where I can come across as the ‘lover’ instead of the ‘provider’. The only one where I wouldn’t end up having to shell out (buy her stuff) that I can think of is a walk along the river or something, but that’s rather dependant on the weather.
Thanks for changing my life.
– London UK
Yea, well you’re welcome for the “changing your life” thing. Glad to help.
Now, you’re kind of mixing up a couple of concepts that I never intended to “depend” on one another…
If you want to know where to take a woman for dates, that shouldn’t be confused with whether or not you come across as a “lover” personality, and not a “provider” personality to her.
Let me ask you something… what is a “date“?
What do you think that the purpose of a “date” is?
Now, I call my material “Double Your Dating“, but what I DON’T mean is “take women out to dinner twice as much as you used to“.
The word “Dating” is simply a word that all of us guys understand to mean “romantic interactions with women“.
So I use it.
But if you want to have more romantic interactions with women, that does NOT mean that you need to “take women out on dates” in order to do it.
Are you with me?
I mean, what do couples do a year after they get together…?
They stay home most of the time, do normal things like go shopping, and generally behave like they did before they met.
This whole “going out to dinner” ritual is really an amazing concept. It’s awesome how powerful it is… and how guys really believe that they need to do it (or similar things) in order to get a woman’s attention in a romantic way.
Here’s the bottom line:
If you want a woman to think of you as a “lover“, then BE ONE.
If you want her to think of you as a provider, then just BE ONE.
What you haven’t quite realized fully yet is that when you know how to trigger ATTRACTION in a woman, all the “normal” rules go away.
If a woman feels that powerful emotional ATTRACTION for you, then she’ll do ANYTHING with you… just to be in your presence and have your attention.
If you have dialed up the ATTRACTION, then all you need to say is “come
No dates required.
Now, if you buy her dinner 10 times, call her 3 times a day, and chase her
around, then it will be EXPECTED that you continue this pattern… and provide for her.
If you’re buying a woman dinner twice a week, giving her flowers, calling her every day, and basically “chasing” her, then you can be about 80% sure that there’s another guy in the picture… but guess what? He’s the one who SHE calls, and he’s the one who says “Come over later, I’m busy now“… no dates required.
If you want to be a LOVER to a woman, then DO IT.
You don’t need to wait until the third time out for coffee or tea.
You’ll learn that ATTRACTION doesn’t have a timeline.
It happens VERY QUICKLY, if you know how to trigger it… and you don’t need a lot of “date ideas” once you do.
And now that I’ve avoided your question for a page or two, let me answer
I often take women to do “regular” things with me. I’ll take them to the grocery store to shop with me, out to the mall to pick things up, and down to the bookstore to buy a book.
First, start BEING the LOVER immediately.
Then, notice how women DON’T CARE what you do together, as long as she’s with you.
Women don’t like men who are FOLLOWERS.
Women aren’t ATTRACTED to men who are FOLLOWERS.
But guess what? Most men FOLLOW anyway.
Leading creates ATTRACTION. Following creates the curious dry feeling.
What has happened to women’s standards? All the beautiful
babes with no neck dorks! I am a good looking guy and I can’t
even get a phone number. They go out with guys that weigh like
300 lbs and dress like slobs. I wear nice clothes and drive a
nice car and I can’t get a single date. Maybe it is where I
live. In order to get a date I will have to gain 200 lbs and
have someone break my nose so I am ugly enough for some girl to
date me. American girls suck! They have no taste anymore!
I give up!
No, I think that the problem is that you whine like a whipped Bitch.
Women can smell a “victim” attitude 100 miles away, and it IS NOT ATTRACTIVE.
Women’s “standards” are just fine.
The problem isn’t them, it’s YOU.
Now do yourself a favor and quit ACTING like a little girl, and DO SOMETHING about your situation.
What, do you think that all the average and ugly guys out there who have HOT girlfriends are getting them by being ugly?
The answer is “No, they’re not”.
These guys are getting the babes because they know how to make the women feel ATTRACTION.
Trust me, I know quite a few guys who are NOT exactly the picture of “handsome”… but these guys get a lot of women.
Because they KNOW HOW.
Now quit whining, and go LEARN.
Too many guys are just too damned overly-analytical, and want to know how to do EVERYTHING before they do ANYTHING.
I used to be this way… and it cost me a lot of time and energy.
It’s so amazing to actually get out there and SEE results right in front of your eyes. It gets you excited and willing to try more things… and it prepares you for the future… for situations that are REALLY important.
Get out there and use this stuff.
What does it mean when a woman says she wants to “work on herself” before she can have a relationship?
The literal translation for this is:
“I DON’T FEEL ATTRACTION FOR YOU, BUT I DON’T KNOW HOW TO TELL YOU WITHOUT HURTING YOUR LITTLE WUSSY BOY GIRLIE FEELINGS.”
Any of the following:
“I need time alone right now.”
“I need to find me first.”
“Let’s just be friends for now.”
“I DON’T FEEL ATTRACTION.”
That’s the bottom line.
The problem is YOU, not HER.
Don’t be surprised if this same girl either IS or STARTS dating another guy seriously soon.
If you’re hearing this kind of thing often, then you need to take it as a sign that you’re not triggering ATTRACTION inside of women… and, more importantly, that you need to LEARN HOW.
I recommend my Advanced Dating Techniques Program.
This will help eliminate these types of comments from women once and for all.
Here, let me brag for a minute…
I’m sitting here thinking about it, and I can’t remember a woman saying one of these things to me in YEARS.
One of the BIG benefits of learning all of the material that I teach in my programs is the changes that naturally occur inside your mind.
Once you see things differently, you begin to BEHAVE differently as well. And it will happen automatically.
Now, I don’t mean to sound new-agey here, but this is the reality of the situation.
Women can pick up on subtle body language that most men don’t even know EXISTS. When you start “mentally rehearsing” some of the things you learn from my programs, you will automatically act differently when you’re in future situations with women.
Hey Dave, I have been reading your emails and have purchased your ebook and have read and studied from both. I would ‘study’ areas I felt I was weak in or would that be wussy in, to improve, naturally, but would read everything for as much knowledge as I could absorb. Well, I have a success story but with a slight twist to it. The twist is my success was due to playing off of 2 other guys’ failures.
I went to a club in a part of town I normally do not go to. Not that it is a bad part of town I just never thought of going there. I went by myself, so on my own, no one for moral support, in a place I have never been before. Talk about giving your ideas the acid test, this was going to be it. I was looking down at the dance floor getting into the music and noticed behind me two girls sitting at a table. I then noticed 2 guys approach and one started to talk to one of the girls.
The other guy was just standing there looking at girl #2 trying to get up the nerve to say something, from what I could tell, since I was that way myself in a not so distant past. I just turned away and didn’t pay much attention but after 10 mins or so the same guy talking to girl #1 is not making any headway.
Guy 2 still had his wuss game going so no change there. I decided to ask girl # 2 to dance but wanted to get her attention and interest, as well. So I leaned over and said, “While that guy is trying to hustle your friend, whom, I might he is not doing very well, would you like to dance?” Well, this girl just cracked up laughing, she did not want to dance but did want to talk more.
She went on to say that there is nothing he could say or do at this point to make her want to dance or go out with him. He just doesn’t get it, she said. I went on to say I know it is crowded and a bit loud here but one should understand NO easy enough. She agreed and went on to mention how much of a loser his friend is just standing there. I then remembered a statement someone used in an email of yours and thought I would use it myself.
I said to girl #2 “what’s that smell, do you smell that?” She replies, “What smell?” I said, “The smell of desperation.” Well, Dave, that girl laughed so hard she fell out of her chair.
I helped her up and when she told me she had to tell her girl friend that and when she leaned over to talk to her I just turned away and went back to looking at the people dancing.
After a bit this girl came up to me and said look at those losers they are just standing on the dance floor while people are dancing around them. They did look pretty pathetic. We talked a bit and I asked her name but I did not quite understand it since she was Latin and had a Latin name I could not make out what she said, what with all the loud music and noise.
Just then some friends of hers and her girl friend’s came in and she started to talk to them so again I just turned away and watched people on the dance floor.
After a bit she came back and grabbed my arm and said come on I want to introduce you to my friends. After she introduces everyone to me I turn to her and ask what was your name again? Is it ludicrous? She just busted up laughing again and tried to tell me her name again.
By now, she is holding my hand and we started dancing right there. We talked a bit and I told her she has to write her name down so I can pronounce correctly when I call her. She say’s, “Call me?” I said, “Yes, since you are writing your name down you might as well give me your number. How else am I going to call you? Oh, and if you have email you might as well give me that also.”
She said, that it was cool meeting me and gave me a hug and kiss. She then went back to her friends and I just turned away and called it a night.
It may not have been nice to use the 2 guys wuss behavior to my advantage but it worked.
N from Miami Beach
LOL… so you went off secretly to a bar alone… hoping that no one would see you testing the materials out for yourself… lol.
Yea, sometimes it’s rough when other guys act like Wussy Jackasses…
But hey, it makes your life easier and more fun!
So what the hell, right?
I have to say, one of my personal favorite things to do with women I’ve just met is make fun of how other guys are acting.
It’s particularly fun in these bar-type situations, where you can watch one interaction after another.
Most guys suck at approaching women, and it makes for great humor and conversation.
Of course, talking about how terrible other guys are INSTANTLY separates you from the herd, and kind of puts you in the “NON-WUSS” category all by itself.
Another personal favorite of mine is to tell a girl that she should get together with one of the guys that is acting like a jackass.
“I think you and that Wuss-Boy over there would make a cute couple. He looks like he needs a mom like you to tell him what to do…” etc.
You’ve done a great job here, now keep it up.
And thanks for the great example.
Always remember in these situations that a big scoop of COCKY & FUNNY will make things go well.
In this Mailbag you’ve heard from a lot of guys who are using my eBook “Double Your Dating” to improve their success with women and dating.
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