Written by Nick Savoy – Love Systems – Get Better With Women
Let me start with a contraction — It is both easier and harder to make a woman into your girlfriend than it is to date her casually.
Because most people end up in monogamous relationships, women will often assume that’s where your relationship is going. Unless either of you say or do something to imply otherwise.
This doesn’t have to be explicit. It’s often not.
For example, if she says that in a few months, she’s going to go away for a year, that’s a pretty good signal she’s not looking for a traditional relationship.
Or if you have a “party” vibe about you, she might assume the same thing about you.
A lot of questions I get are from guys who want to AVOID having a girlfriend or a traditional relationship.
So I’ve made a lot of material on how to set up a “Friends with Benefits” or “Open Relationship” frame and it’s all over the Love Systems website or the forums.
However, the the opposite question is equally interesting – what if you want her to be your girlfriend?
The good news is that it’s a very similar technique to getting her attracted to you in the first place.
Like I talk about in the Magic Bullets Handbook, a lot of attraction is based around shower enough interest to get her looking in that direction, but not so much that you come across as pushy, clingy, or not a challenge.
That’s to get her interested in sleeping with you or dating you. It’s the same principle in getting her to commit to you.
See her a couple times per week.
Let her come to the conclusion on her own that she doesn’t want to see other men, and/or that she’d rather give up the ability to see other men in return for knowing that you won’t see other women.
You MUST let her come to this conclusion herself.
It may make her feel less attracted if you’re the one initiating the “where is this going?” conversations. And while there are exceptions to everything, in general don’t be the first one to say “I love you” either — that’s traditionally her job.
If you pressure her into a commitment before she feels completely ready – or at least ready enough to bring it up or hint strongly at it herself – then you’re significantly adding to the likelihood that she’ll cheat on you later.
So let’s not do that.
For best results, start before you’ve slept together the first time.
Start in the “Comfort Phase” (in the Magic Bullets Handbook, there is a step-by-step process with 6 phases… Comfort is the one that starts after you are both attracted to each other but before it gets physical).
Vague long-term plans based on common interests are a great idea.
If she says she loves art, talk about some gallery or place you two have to go to “one day”.
If she wants to be a better cook, say that you should take a cooking class together sometime. Done right, she’ll get a feeling that you’re out for more than a lay.
Actually, done right, it also reinforces her feeling that you and her have some exciting times ahead and lets her imagine herself with you in the future.
Don’t actually plan the details of anything at this stage.
Details and planning are boring logical activities.
Attraction is an emotional process. These are opposites; don’t mix them.
Download your copy of the online eBook here–> Magic Bullets – Meet, Attract, and Date Beautiful Women
For more great advice from Nick and the team at Lovesystems here at DiaLteG TM please go here: Love Systems – Approach, Meet, Attract, and Perfect Dating Advice