Women put guys in the friends zone for many reasons.
Some are completely within our control – meaning we put ourselves there by acting a certain way or doing certain things which destroy the initial attraction.
Others are because, as mentioned early, we do little to create the attraction during our first meeting or a short time after. Something which was covered on the last page: Why Are You In The Friends Zone? She Felt No Attraction For You
Below I’ve listed all the excuses or reasons women as to why this happens.
These are mistakes we can avoid in the future if we get a handle on them.
Some are absurd. Some are pathetic. But they are here for a reason…
Use this list to avoid but also to understand how easy it is to reverse them thereby eliminating the friends zone almost entirely from our lives.
1. You bored her.
Women feel attracted to guys who they can interesting conversations with and who they can do fun things together.
If this is your case we can work on your personality and keep her interest.
We can work on your lifestyle so women will want to do things with you.
Here are a few articles to help:
- Do Women Think You’re Too Predictable? Here’s How To Change Her Mind
- My Secret To Not Boring Women And Communicating Excitement
- The Cheapest Places To Meet Women Even If You’re Under 21
2. There was no sexual chemistry.
Women must feel sexual chemistry with a guy to want more than a friendship and it’s best to make sure it happens immediately.
We need a sexual edge to our personality and this means ( with regards to escaping the friends zone ) we must err on the side of being too sexual.
It’s just easier to develop a friendship over time than it is to generate strong sexual feelings from a “bland” friendship.
Real chemistry or natural connections with women can be learned but rarely can it be faked.
Consider it a side-effect to who you are and you’ll be better off in achieving it naturally.
If this is a problem for you, I would start by reading a page from my “getting a girlfriend steps: Become A Sexy Guy – Where Your Sexiness Comes From and How To Find It.
These (outside) links are my affiliates and will take you to some of the more popular “instant attraction” programs out there.
These will certainly help you develop an immediate sexual energy with women and thus help to eliminate being thrown in the friends zone:
- Three Second Attraction
- Unlock Her Legs – The Scrambler
- Seven Second Seduction
- The Lust Response
- Attraction Tactics
3. You wanted her to meet your parents by the second date.
Chances are only a small minority men will do this but it must be said because I have seen and heard about it.
Usually it’s done by guys who have known a woman for a while before getting a date but that’s not always the case.
In case you don’t understand where this mistakes comes from – I call it “selling a relationship too early.”
It’s where you go in “relationship” mode with a woman before she’s ready.
While she’s only prepared for date two or three you’re already considering whether or not she’d make a great wife.
If this is a serious problem for you – like every women you fall for seems to be your soul mate – you can get past it. I know you can.
You just need to learn to qualify women better for you. This should help –> Are You Qualifying Her Too? – Attracting Women & Better Relationships
You need to learn to stay in the present more.
You need to learn that attraction can literally hijack you with chemicals and make you believe something when it’s really on a chemical reaction to a woman who doing it for you.
Since this is more common from guys who don’t have enough or any casual sex – perhaps that’s where you might look to help you out. Try this: Why And How You Might Have To “Go Get Laid” to Get A Girlfriend
So – learn to qualify women more AND perhaps you might need to enjoy some one night stands.
There’s more to it but let’s not get too deep on this one for now.
4. Her friends would never consider dating you.
You’re going to meet women whose social appearance means more to her than a great guy.
Just the same as you’re going to meet women who will literally give up everything just to be with someone.
If her friends disapprove of you it’s not as bad as you think. You can create a social alternative she can not resist.
Meaning you can become the “bad boy” everyone tells her NOT to date thus making it more “taboo” or exciting to actually date you. Amping up her attraction for you.
On the other side – this typically means you might have to start dating lots of women so she has to compete for you.
It’s true – having women who “want you” around WILL help solve this problem.
Start engaging her “competitive” nature and the friends zone can easily disappear.
I picked out these two articles for you:
- The Benefits And Rules Of Becoming Friends With Hotter Women
- Double Standards – Bad Boys, Jerks, and Dating Many Women
5. You can never make your mind up about what to do.
Believe it or not this is a very common problem and it is sometimes hard to detect.
The best way to decide if this is a problem for you is…
If you constantly find yourself TRYING to do something because you want her to be happy.
Eliminating this mistake is easy.
As long as you’re not demanding, even if you’re wrong, it’s best to stay one step ahead of her.
Which means you’re going to make decisions she will not always like.
Don’t worry about it.
You can make bad choices for her or even do things that don’t appear to make her happy and still continually escalate attraction.
However being indecisive will almost always destroy the attraction and quickly too.
Lots of women can and have put guys in the friends zone because the guy was always so afraid of making the wrong decision he decided to leave everything up to her.
Learn to lead a little more. Don’t be afraid of being wrong or that she won’t agree with your decisions.
As long as your decisive about it – you can only build the attraction.
Women fall for guys who know what they want very easily, that we know.
But they also feel more for guys who always seem to be one step ahead of her which is something more that can be covered here today.
For some quick results or clues check out these two nice guy tips I wrote:
They will deal with the issues how important your opinions or beliefs are and living your own life and just inviting women to join you.
6. You’re way too accommodating to her needs before yours.
Approval seeking comes in many forms and none of it is very attractive.
If you’re in a relationship for ten years you might have to balance this out but when it comes to pure attraction accommodating her needs before yours is a killer and lands guy after guy in the friends almost immediately.
Women tend to have a sixth sense about this.
I see how some guys act like they are in a long-term committed relationship before they are, because they think it’s the nice thing to d and it’s what she wants.
Which is relatively okay when you’re married and to live together you might have to compromise a little, but I guarantee no woman wants a guy she just met, or is just friends with, who acts like this and this worst part of all…
She has a million tests to see just how approval seeking you really are.
With regards to Chivalry ( opening doors – pulling out chairs – defending her femininity ) there is a fine line between being Chivalrous and approval seeking.
Learn it because when you cross it you’ll lose any sexual attraction you created and she’s likely to see test you more – just to see how willing you are to give up YOUR needs just to accommodate hers.
7. You don’t know what women want. She thinks you just don’t GET her.
If you don’t understand women and why they do the things they do she will sense it almost immediately. You will communicate your uneasiness without even knowing it.
This is not an easy mistake to overcome quickly but as you progress and learn to communicate with women “differently” you won’t have to worry too much about it.
I hate asking guys to fake it but I will ask you to continually remind yourself when you’re around women.
Create that “twinkle” in your eye she senses as being confident as knowing what she wants.
This worked great for me early on. Yes it’s a little cocky but it’s better than the alternative.
Always carry with you the knowledge you DO know what women want.
You DO get her.
You DO understand how things work.
Don’t advertise it or brag. Just let it make you appear more confident.
8. You did not turn her on at all
Don’t confuse this with sexual chemistry. This is your ability to create the chemistry.
This is your ability to appeal to a woman’s desires which is barely controllable.
That feeling you get when you see a woman you’re highly attracted to is the same feeling she will get from you, if you know how to turn her on.
Each woman has “triggers” in which you can gain an emotional sexual response. They are highly counter-intuitive which is why most guys fail and get thrown in her friends zone.
For example – if you’re connecting with a woman and stand tall real close to her looking softly in her eyes, your intuition is telling you to get closer. But to trigger a deeper sexual response from her lean in a little closer then lightly push her away while giving her a compliment.
The friends zone guy might fear the kiss but he also feels without it, he has failed.
He gets the feeling if he doesn’t do it now she will lose interest. Not true.
The man who can turn her on knows the kiss can even be implied.
He knows it’s much more enjoyable and powerful to her if he does what I suggest.
It’s this type of teasing which triggers a deeper emotion.
9. You lacked confidence.
This one is obvious. I understand how difficult it is to gain when you’re stuck in the friends zone. But it’s okay.
There are so many ways to increase your confidence which have little to do with your current success with women.
You must allow all of your confidence in everything you do inspire the confidence she feels about herself.
Of course as you proceed and gain more directly related confidence in attracting women your success will skyrocket.
But you have to trust it’s not necessary at first.
When a woman feels your confidence she has no idea exactly where it’s coming from. She only cares that she is feeling it.
10. You were timid or too shy around her.
Okay it’s true. Some women do go for the shy guy but his modest confidence must be exceptional.
If that’s not you and you’re timid around a woman your anxiety could easily make you a friend and not a lover.
I took extreme measures to break myself out of this “mode” but you might not have it.
Often you’ll find as your confidence and the boundaries you create for your beliefs will naturally help you out.
Once the fears begin to disappear you won’t want to be shy anymore. Especially when you’re noticing how well it works.
11. She felt you always had something to hide.
I’ve noticed most nice guys believe they don’t have anything to hide.
“It’s the jerk that plays women not me!”
But the truth is you’re telling her everything but what she really wants to hear. Which is why the friendship card comes out quickly.
Chances are when you’re trying to hold back your desires for her it appears to her you’re hiding something very important.
You comes off as creepy and not in touch with your masculinity. Therefore she does not want to get “in touch ” with your masculinity.
You’re going to learn how to communicate to women on an entirely new level by the time we’re done but for now – don’t expect women to believe you’re not hiding something just because you tell her everything about yourself.
Opt for telling her less about yourself and allow her to feel you’re not hiding the real man inside you. That will keep you out of the friends zone.
12. You have too many bad habits which make you not “relationship” material.
This is not as bad as it seems. Obviously your bad habits can be found easily and almost completely eliminated from your life.
Some will be more difficult than others so I suggest starting with the smallest first and work your way through your list.
The good news about this reason is – She felt attracted to you but chose not to date you.
You’ll find a lot of those bad habits listed here so keep your eyes out for them.
I can not stress this important fact – If any woman is refusing you because of a few bad habits which are not really that bad at all, I doubt you’ll find a happy relationship with her anyways.
You do not know how to dress yourself in a way which shows you care about yourself
The important part to remember here is dressing yourself in a way that merely shows you care about yourself. That’s all you really need to do.
Women who are more than superficial, which is most of them, are only interested in a guy who does that.
Most won’t turn you down because of your style. Most won’t put you in the friend’s zone because you prefer a simple shirt and jeans.
However you will make it that much harder to make a woman your girlfriend if you present yourself with,
“I don’t care much about myself.”
Don’t confuse that with,
“I don’t care what others think of how I dress.”
There’s a distinct difference. Believe it or not a comb-over says you do NOT care about yourself.
It takes balls to work within your look.
That’s what they are looking for…