How do you know if you are in the friend’s zone and if you are, is there way to escape and get out for good?
Everyone seems to be looking for this friend’s zone test. I imagine it’s a test to find out if you are to be considered just a friend to someone you are attracted to, or want sexually.
[box type="info"]Did you know I have developed this awesome survey/test about the friend’s zone. Click here for an in depth Friend’s Zone Test Survey[/box]
Please keep this in mind, when I hear,
“Pete, is there a friend’s zone test I can take to figure out what she is thinking?”
This is what I really am hearing,
“Pete, Does she like me?”
And anytime I hear those words it not only reminds me of a typical elementary school dance, but it screams of neediness.
So, anytime you find yourself asking the question as a man,
“Am I in the friend’s zone?”
You most likely are.
Men and women that are highly attractive never have to ask that question. They assume they are wanted. Their strong confident self does not allow them to believe anything different. I’m going to even bet most of them don’t even understand what the friend’s zone really is, unless they transformed themselves over time into the person the sought out to be.
If you have read any of my blogs, which I know you have, I’m sure you have realized I have the unique ability to look at things from a different perspective, or to change a belief by reversing the angle. It is a simple process but it can have amazing results for discovering and understanding yourself.
For example I was getting in the shower the other day and I noticed that my hair-line is still receding. Rather than get down about I actually laughed at myself because this crazy thought entered my mind.
“I’m not losing my hair, I’m just getting more head. And everyone wants head! Haha!”
What I’m going to do for you is reverse a list I’ve found that were designed to help men escape the friend’s zone.
(But I feel it works well for both sexes also so women, keep reading.)
1. Stop Acting Like A Friend
2. Rock The Boat
3. Pursue Other People
4. Get A Little Closer
5. Peak Their Interest
6. Close The Deal
Now let’s break the list down, reverse it, and turn it into a test.
Stop Acting Like A Friend.
I like this one because I still believe most men and women end up in the friend’s zone because primarily, they act like a friend.
A friend is someone you will do things for because you have compassion for, or want to help that person. It’s what friend’s do. I have many friends I have known for twenty plus years and the relationship we have built, and the knowledge we know of each other, makes us great friends.
But guess what guys…
If you are just meeting a woman and you treat them as if you treat a lifelong friend, by doing nice things for her, she will see you as a friend.
It’s okay to be nice.
It’s not okay to give up your social status to an attractive woman you just met, hoping she will like you. It won’t work. So the first question becomes,
When I first met a man or woman I was attracted to, did I do things for them I would only consider doing for a life long friend?
I am speaking doing things for that put yourself out-of-the-way, I’m not talking about teasing someone you just met as if you’ve known them forever, because it is not the same. You are now one point closer to being in the friend’s zone.
(+1 for putting yourself out-of-the-way, -1 for teasing and busting her balls)
Rocking The Boat.
Did you stir things up when you first met, or did you stick the standards of social common courtesy?
Women and men are attracted to edgy conversations, and not the same old boring shit about the weather or how their day is going. Don’t be afraid to bring up topics most people would be afraid to talk to their mom’s about.
(+1 if you started out with boring topics and/or were afraid to be edgy, worrying about what they thought of you)
Pursue other people.
Did you show signs of neediness, being clingy?
This is an easy one. If you put all your time and energy into her or him, right from the beginning, you did not pursue other people. You didn’t give them space. You were perhaps a little clingy. And although women can feel a bond to men that become their shadows, they don’t respect them enough to sleep with them. They know what will happen after. Meaning this, if you are a great looking guy and you showed signs of putting her above everything else in your life, she still won’t see you as more than a friend. Because most women need more to engage in a sexual experiences. It’s not always about looks.
If you are a woman and you show any signs of being needy to a real man, every step you take towards him, will push him two steps away from you.
(+1 if you clung.)
Getting A Little Closer.
Were you afraid to accidentally touch, wrestle, or any form of casual and playful acts?
As the fly guy stated, “breaking down the physical barriers” is extremely important for both men and women. When others sense you are nervous being too close to someone, they feel you may be inexperienced. Worse yet they can assume you are also that way in bed.
How can you perform sexually when you get anxious just being around someone?
It also makes other people feel nervous. When you’re happy and fun, and feel at total ease being around a man or woman you are attracted to, they too will begin to feel your comfortable attitude in themselves.
(+1 for being afraid to get physically close.)
Peak Their Interest.
Did I let her or him know exactly how I felt about them during our first few interactions?
The Fly Guy advises to escape the friend’s zone, begin playing games with how you see the relationship. I’m not altogether sold on that idea. But what I do suggest is leaving her or him with a feeling of uncertainty.
It can be considered a tactic or a mind game if you set out to play with someone’s head. But it is not a cheap trick when done in this context. Making sure the person you are attracted to knows that you are interested, but your interest is just that. It should across like this and it can be easily blended into anyone’s personality because it’s pure indifference.
“I may be slightly attracted to you so I’m going to allow you to prove to me, without a doubt, that you are good enough for me.”
(+1 for proclaiming your undying devotion in the first few meetings)
And finally, number 6:
Closing The Deal.
Was there anytime at the beginning of the relationship were the sexual tension was there, but you failed to advance?
Yes to my wonderful woman readers, you may have to make the first move, sort of. What I mean is allowing the man you are interested in to kiss you. Putting your lips almost against his and looking right in his eyes, then peering down to his mouth, and then back up to his eyes.
As for the men, knowing when and how to advance the relationship is key.
If you miss that moment, you will more than likely lose all the tension that was built. She will then quickly throw you in the friend’s zone. Thinking you are not man enough to make a move, or not man enough to realize when to kiss her. This was a mistake I made way too often because as a nice guy, I wanted to respect her. I didn’t realize there was a difference between respecting her and respecting myself, as a man, that enjoys kissing a woman enough to put myself out there.
(+1 for not advancing when the time was appropriate, and yes, one step closer to friend’s zone)
How many points are you up to?
6 Points – Definitely in the friend’s zone with very little hope of getting out of it, or escaping the dreaded conversation ending with, “You’re such a good friend!”
2-5 Points – Be careful and figure out fast how to reverse the exact step in which you failed. The second part of this test will clear things up for you.
1 Point – Now the choice is yours, just friends or future relationship. Be warned though. If you got the one point from 1 or 6 you are deeper in the zone then you may be led to believe.
-1 to No Points – Yes!!! There’s is not much of a chance you are in the friend’s zone.
If you want to stay out of it, keep doing what you are doing and do not revert to acting like a friend until your relationship has been committed deeply and is fully rooted. But be warned that is easy to screw things up when you find yourself doing things differently with someone over time.
Don’t ever change what the attraction was built on… ever!
Don’t stop flirting.
Don’t stop being physical and definitely don’t stop teasing.
If Your Serious About Escaping The Friend Zone:
These three products are specifically designed to help you escape the friends zone. In order of helpfulness, cost, and overall effectiveness into turning your friend into a lover.
- Friends Into Lovers – 18 CDS all designed to show you exactly how to turn your friend into a lover, a girlfriend, or even if you’re just looking for a casual affair with her. By far the most effective and the cost is extremely low. You’ll be directed to a special video where my friend will tell you all about it. This is for guys who are looking to create attraction in their friend so she’ll want more than just being a friend with you. You’ll find it similar to my three steps on escaping the friends zone but polished and ready to download so you can start “escaping” that depressed and helpless feeling I know from experience you are suffering from.
- Friend To Girlfriend Secrets – The Ultimate Guide To Turning A Friend Into A Lover. This program actually costs a little more but with a featured expert David Wygant giving away his secrets – it’s definitely going to help you out. This is for you guys who are willing to try everything and anything to be with the women you love.
- Escape The Friend’s Zone - I would say this is for you guys who probably have no problem with women but there’s this one girl who you just can not seem to hook up with. It teaches you how to get her to see you in a different way so she just might want to be with you.
- Turn Her On – This is literally a kick ass program dealing with your body language and how to turn yourself into a sexual man with your body movements. Rob Brinded feels you’re less likely to ever be put in the friends zone when women see you as a naturally sexy man - regardless of your looks. This is for guys who want to avoid the friends zone, and (if you’re on my three steps on escaping the friends zone must be used to get easily through the third step.)