The Inner Game and Mindset of a Friend Zone Junkie

Often it easier to relate  to something more closely and intuitively when someone gives you exact examples of situations they have experienced, instead of just rules or guidelines to follow. So I have two articles written by experts in attraction and turning nice guys into men that attract women. They are both about the friend’s zone. They are both advice on what a man can do to get himself out of that nice guy cycle of friends with no benefits. I will then think back to a time in my life in which I was always that good friend but never the lover and share with you the thoughts that ran through my head.

But first I am going to give you a simple yes or no survey.   Right below this paragraph you will be asked the question whether or not you believe that it is possible for a man to get out of the friends zone with a woman he likes or claims he is in love with.  Then read the rules or advice given below and take a similar poll on whether or not your mind may have been changed in the process.

This Free Poll was created at 99Polls

Turn a Female Friend Into a Girlfriend in 9 Easy Steps.

By Joseph Matthews

(Below are just the nine listed steps and my comments on them)

1. Don’t pour your heart out to her.

“If I can just explain to her in a romantic setting that my feelings for her were genuine and it was definitely love,  she would finally fall for me. ” I didn’t know at the time I was creating a world inside my head that did not exist and I lived there for quite some time.

2. Stop letting her walk all over you.

“If I do just one more thing she will finally see what a great catch I am.”  In fact I remember even thinking that I just wanted to be around her. And if it meant doing things for her,then  I was more than happy to oblige.  So it would be…she asks. I do. I would always ask question like “What do you want?” ” Do you like this?”  If you don’t, I’ll take it away because  I want to make sure you are always happy. Then these thoughts ran through my head making me angry. “I gave you everything you want? Why won’t you like me?”

3. Date around.

No time to date around. This hot girl is paying attention to me. If I let up the slack just a little she will end up fucking some guy or THAT same dude she screws every once in  a while who treats her like shit.

4. Touch her.

Oh yeah, can’t forget that. I was thinking Treat her like glass. She will break. I know I will give her a massage and she will instantly see what a great lay I could be. But that’s it. I don’t want to over step my bounds and send her running from my advancements. I could lose her forever. I don’t want to be teased and if I get too close to her it hurts inside knowing I can not have her.

5. Make her meet your standards.

Standards. What standards. The basis of my own were of how she perceived me. That’s how my friend’s zone junkie mind worked. Everything I thought or did revolved around her preferences and not my own.

6, Let’s talk about sex.

Not a chance that was going to happen. I would cringe at just the idea of being stuck in a conversation with a woman I felt in love with and her talking about sleeping with someone besides me. Jealousy would run rampant if I had to listen to it. She’s only going to talk about how this jerk-off did her from behind or something. I don’t need to hear those details.

7. More about Sex.

No need to say more. I avoided any and every situation to hear the details of her sex life and what pleases her in bed.

8. Create sexual tension.

I never really understood sexual tension. My greatest knowledge of it was women telling me about the men in their lives they were attracted to. I would hear from them,  “I don’t know. It just happened. I didn’t plan it. One minute we were talking and the next thing I know our clothes were flying off of us!” Besides no room for the wonderful feelings of sexual tension when my addictive thoughts of the friend zone junkie  ran my entire life and determined every part of my thinking process.

9.Go for it.

Couldn’t really go for it until I told her how I felt. I created scenarios in my head of this romantic time when I could reveal to her my inner most secrets, and how she would then attack me and throw me to the ground.

How to Get Out Of The Friend Zone: Turning Her From Friend to Girlfriend

Thanks to Dean Cortez for letting me use his page so check out some of his products below.

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The ONLY way to turn her into a girlfriend is for you to start spending less time with her and SHOW her that you are desirable to other women.

That could never happen for me because she was a good friend of mine. And again as a good friend I ended up telling her my whole sorted story of not finding the women I want.  After all aren’t good friends supposed to tell each other their problems and console each other. Maybe I even though I would get a pity fuck out of it.

Accept the fact that you might NEVER turn her into a girlfriend, because you have played this all wrong from the beginning.

Accepting the obvious is very difficult when you are so deep into a situation that the addictive emotional circle just keeps repeating itself. First you want it. Then you need it. Then you can’t get enough of it.

Vow to yourself that you will never make this friend zone mistake again.

I did that long ago so I know for a fact that it is possible to keep your self out of that realm once and for all. Sure you struggle along the way. Make major changes in your life. Some for good. Some for worse. But you learn to process the information and move on quickly. The more experienced you gain the easier it is to move on. The easier it then becomes to allow several women in your life at once. Some of which may even turn out to be a future girlfriend, or wife.

Show her you don’t need her.

All of us that were in the friends zone time and time again were so far from that it’s hard just to see it yourself. What I was doing was the complete opposite. I proved to her time and time again that I needed her badly through my actions. I couldn’t function without her.

So there you have it. The mind of a friend’s zone junkie. I’m amazed when I look back at how I acted and how the thoughts were so deeply rooted in my head that I was able to find my way out of that terrible addiction. But I did and it is possible. Yet is it better for you as a nice guy to get out of that friend’s zone, or just avoid it all together in the first place by working on yourself and working to break the cycle once and for all. Now that you’ve finished reading those lapses in judgment I made or how I handled a problem. Think hard about the same question above and respond. Do you think, based on the rambling of that friend zone junkie, he could ever get out of it with a particular women. OR… Is it easier for him just to learn to stay out of the friend zone in the first place and do everything possible to avoid it.

This Free Poll is Located Here

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Tagged as: advice, inner game, Joseph Matthews, Relationship, Sex, Sexuality