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How Our Terrible Boss Can Affect Our Attraction

in Growing
Is your boss judging you too much and making you feel less attractive?

Have you ever had a boss that won’t let up?

His constant micro-management makes you cringe at having to go to work. I mean seriously.

You’re a hard worker and most of the time you’re there to get the job done.

The last thing you need a is some guy who refuses to just let you be.

The worst part is you know the boss is using YOU to get ahead.

You’re okay with others getting ahead if that’s what they want, but you can tell by the constant micro-management and his terrible team skills, he only cares about making sure you don’t ruin his chances of getting ahead.

He takes everything personal and has no idea what teamwork is all about.

On top of that he has no restraint when it comes to putting other people down.

He shows no restraint and throws immature fits which only proves to you his insecurity goes very deep.

His mistrust of others is only heightened by his persona which exhibits a high degree of over-confidence.

Will me complaining about him make me more attractive or less attractive?

How do you handle a guy like that without losing your cool or doing something which is below you as an Alpha Male?

Does an Alpha Male put up with his bull respectfully or does he fight him everyday for control?

These are questions I have thought about recently due to my two jobs.

One is doing this which is becoming more and more the way I want to make a living.

It’s my passion.

The other is a full-time job I’ve had for almost eleven years now.

I’ve seen literally a hundred different bosses come and go but this one has begun to take his toll on my ability to perform like no other before him has.

He doesn’t test me and encourage me to do better.

In fact he only encourages me to maybe get the job done so I don’t have to listen to him anymore.

Am I looking less attractive to you now by telling you all this?

I’m writing this not to whine about my boss.

Okay maybe there is a little anger inside me and he tests my restraint to the limit.

Maybe just by getting it out will make me feel like I’m not pushing my emotions deeper until they explode.

So yes, in a way I’m guilty of disliking him and I want you to know it…but why haven’t I told him how I believe his management skills are old, tiring, and pointless. (Really now who wants to promote someone who doesn’t put the team effort first.

What does me not being upfront with him have to do with attraction?

In this case my attraction.

Fear and self-esteem.

  • I could lose my job and benefits before I’m ready to leave.
  • I could make my job tougher to deal with.
  • I could be given harder jobs, tougher schedules, and I could even be fired for being insubordinate.

Are those real fears?

Yes in a way because I could lose my ability to pay some bills which could lead to a lot worse problems if I didn’t.

No in a way because I’m allowing his position and his personality make me question my respectful actions.

We have all been in positions like this.

Torn between dealing with the boss and the fear of losing a job.

And believe it or not it is in these moments, the choices we make, and our responsibility for our action which directly represent our level of esteem and in turn control who we attract and how many others are to become naturally attracted to us.

  • A Person with high self-esteem exhibits fortitude and demonstrates strength  in times when we are tested at our worst.
  • A person with high self-esteem attracts others with high self-esteem.
  • A person with high self-esteem sometimes yes, will make a choice to deal with his self-preservation with regards to money responsibly but only to a certain degree.

My attractive self will remain true and sometimes bite my tongue as long as my respect as a person is not asked to be lowered…

I was asked today to do something unethical and was ridiculed for not doing what the boss implied me to do.

I did not comply.

I have never allowed my morals to be lowered by another’s will under any circumstance and I have always been willing to take responsibility for my refusal to conform to another wishes which go against the grain of who I am.

I see this was a test of my esteem and I feel I have passed even though I have let slip by doing what I was told, despite my feelings.  

However when the line was crossed I stood up for my beliefs and suffered the consequences.

Which in fact when dealt with properly are never as bad as we think.

I wrote this because I’m feeling more attractive tomorrow.

I want you to feel more attractive too.

I want you to understand we all go through similar experiences and we all have the choice when the time is right, to make the decision which in the end will on benefit and strengthen our self-esteem.

Yes I am guilty of complaining and I am guilty of letting things slides because…

  1. Bosses come and go. and
  2. I feel a little sorry for his lack of real confidence in himself which only shows in his lack of confidence and the ability to take responsibility for the team below him.

I fee a little less attractive today, right now, as I write these words down, but tomorrow when a new present comes around, I know the lessons I have learned will outlast today.

Tomorrow when a new present comes along I will be a better leader because today I’ve learned how to lead myself and I have learned to objectify my life and move on quickly with purpose.

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