If the old saying is true, “Beauty is Skin Deep.” then why do so many people feel ugly inside despite their looks?
I was talking to a very special woman a few weeks ago and we started talking about being happy because recently she wasn’t feeling it.
She told me that she was frustrated enough to try something she’s never done before… at least on purpose.
“Pete. I’ve been so miserable. Terribly unhappy. I even feel like I’ve wasted the last twenty years of my life. But then I looked in the mirror and smiled. I didn’t smile because I liked what I saw, you know I love what I see… I’m pretty hot! Nope, I smiled because I wanted to see if it could make myself FEEL better. And you know what…it did!!!”
Of course I “smiled” at her revelation.
I knew exactly what she was talking about.
This is no more than you would have learned in high school Biology but what they never taught us there was that our bodies also controls the mind and how we can use it all to become more attractive.
I first saw and felt how it worked through Rob Brinded’s famous video, “Stinking Thinking.” ( Which unfortunately is no longer available. )
He proved to me without a doubt then when you access certain muscles in your body ( consistently ) it triggers related emotions from our primitive past.
Smiling is one of them and attraction just happens to be one too.
We probably all agree the muscles used for smiling don’t have a brain themselves. ( Theoretically speaking because I have listened to lectures that the cell alone is a mind. )
Yet when our minds “exercises” the muscles used for ‘smiling‘ it tricks our minds into believing and feeling happy.
Thus we feel better.
When we exercise our bodies and get in better shape it releases Endorphins which make us feel better.
I propose that the same goes for attraction.
When we exercise the muscles which are used to attract others our mind gets the message…
As in we can make ourselves feel sexier just by exercising the muscles which make us look sexier.
Our body relays the message to our minds.
Our attitude and body movement is enhanced by our new feelings.
And consequently others will feel it too.
As it enters their minds it too also triggers their bodies to act as if they are attracted to us through their body language first and then their minds.
Remember the saying above, “Beauty is only skin deep.”
Those five words used to pissed me off.
Here I was…
The Nice Guy.
The Good Guy.
I made people laugh. I made people smile.
But I felt so freaking ugly inside!
I felt my looks kept me from getting the things in life I deserved.
I felt like my height was always going to be limit my choices in women to about one in a thousand.
I felt like I would always lose with women because I was below average in height and borderline skinny.
If beauty was only skin deep why didn’t women want me when I got to know them?
If beauty was only skin deep why was I always alone?
If in fact beauty is only skin deep, why did it seem like only the good-looking guys got the beautiful girls?
Obviously I could sit here and reassure you that your looks have absolutely nothing to do with finding a girlfriend but I feel that statement is not entirely true.
Remember… Our minds AND our bodies are connected.
They do influence each other in so many ways.
As far as I’m concerned beauty is NOT skin deep because we are NOT separated from our bodies.
Thy influence each other just the same.
Our bodies influences the mind and our mind influences the body.
It’s a never-ending circle and only when interrupted by an unfortunate accident will ALWAYS be that way.
If you feel ugly on the inside but others might find you attractive, what do you do to solve this problem?
You “exercise” the mind so it feels better about itself. You try to match the two together to create a “happier” balance.
If you feel ugly on the outside but beautiful inside, how do you solve that problem…
By doing what Scot McKay suggest in this famous article,
“A man who is average in looks but who does the best with what he’s got is the guy who gets the overall highest quality women. This has been proven time and time again.” – Do Only Good Looking Guys Get Women?
You make the best with what you’ve got until you create a “happier” balance.
And by doing either one of those, perhaps both, you increase your chances of attracting happier people.
Thus in the very lest proving to me…
Beauty is NOT skin deep but it’s also not something contained within our minds. Something to make us believe otherwise.