Here’s the situation. You’re talking to a woman when all of a sudden she mentions she has a boyfriend. You didn’t ask her if she was seeing someone. You didn’t ask her out on a date. You didn’t ask her for her phone number.
In fact, as far as you know, you didn’t even show any interest in dating at all.
But some reason she decided to throw out,
“Me and my boyfriend…”
“When my boyfriend does that…”
“My boyfriend loves that song…”
“My boyfriend has that same problem..”
How do you handle that situation?
I know it would certainly depend on how you felt about her. If you wanted to date her you would think she is turning you down. If you didn’t care one way or another about dating, her would you still interpret her words the same?
Let’s think about this for a minute and the different reasons why women feel the need to mention their [intlink id="12-do-you-like-me" type="page"]boyfriend[/intlink] more than just casually.
1.) She hasn’t had much experience in relationships.
She was single for a while and then when she hooks up with her man, her life begins to revolve around the relationship. Hence, the relationship is her life and she doesn’t seem to have much more to talk about.
2.) She’s testing you to gauge your interest in her.
She likes [intlink id="bart-simpson-understand-women-part-2-women-want" type="post"]her boyfriend[/intlink] but since they just got together she hasn’t invested too much in him. She feels you’re interested in her but she is just not sure. She may not throw him aside for you, but she is certainly considering what life would be like with you and not him.
3.) She is letting you know in her own subtle way there is no chance you two getting together.
She may or nay not have a boyfriend. She hates turning down guys but she has no time for wusses. When a wuss hears this he backs down and she knows it. A real man will not. And she also knows this. So the real man steps up to the challenge in a skillful humorous and playful manner. Or he ignores it all together.
4.) She is playing a bad game.
She’s wondering if you would be willing to allow her to cheat on her boyfriend. Yes. Allow her. Women never like to take the blame in any situation where they can be considered a slut or a cheater. They often will expect you to take the blame. That’s where the, “I don’t know it just happened. I didn’t mean to do it.” usually comes from.
Here are two types of women will play the number 4 game:
The first one wants out of her [intlink id="relationsip-ends-turn-lights" type="post"]relationship[/intlink]. She met you before she hooked up with him, but she had her eye on you. It just didn’t happen between you two, whatever the reason is. She is faithful but now questioning herself and her choice. She is confused and will more than likely, no matter what you do, stay with her man. But you will pop in her mind occasionally and if you stay close, as flirty friends, there is a chance in the future. If and only if her relationship fails, and you don’t discuss that relationship with her.
The second one wants out! She doesn’t care how it happens just as long she does not feel responsible for it. You’re the excuse if you’re willing to take charge. That’s the key for her. You must be willing to take charge of the situation and make it happen. Would I suggest this type of girl for you. Probably not. But you know what? Just because a woman is playing a bad [intlink id="attraction-play-blame-game" type="post"]game[/intlink], doesn’t make her a bad woman. don’t get me wrong, most of the time it does mean she would not make an incredible girlfriend. But I always try to keep in mind that women are just like every other human running around this planet.
And we often do things because we just don’t know how to act on, all our feelings in a mature way.
If us guys are to learn how to act in each situation that increases her attraction for us, all those reasons above are helpful for achieving this. Luckily they all have many constants built into them. And they are:
- How you [intlink id="do-men-know-how-to-talk-to-women-when-they-feel-attraction" type="post"]feel[/intlink].
- What you want.
- Where’s she at.
- And if she is the type of [intlink id="attracted-interested" type="post"]women you would be interested in dating[/intlink].
Do you want her, now or perhaps in the future?
If so then you must be willing to step up to her challenge or test and playfully flirt with her about it.
(smirking)
“Oh you have boyfriend. Wow. What kind of man would put up with such a pain in the ass like you?”
Another choice is to completely ignore her words. Just assume she is telling the truth and take it from there. The important constant of what you want matters the most. If you play into her test and she is able to speak with you freely about her relationship you will be entering the friends zone, very quickly.
Remember it’s about what you want and deserve and if you don’t want to just be her friend then don’t allow it to happen. Sometimes you just might have to bring it up to her open and honestly. Stand firm by your choice.
“Listen. I know you like to talk about your man a lot. But I’m just not interested in going there with you. I’m fun to hang out with. We have a great time when we talk, but I’m just not willing to be your counselor at this time. I’m sure you have plenty of friends you can confide with about it and if you want to continue what we have, go to them with it, not me”
The next time you meet a women that feels compelled to mention her boyfriend I want you to think of this post, decide what you want. Do you want to?
[intlink id="women-test-men" type="page"]Pass her test.[/intlink]
Find her to be a good friend.
Walk away.
Be honest and keep up the “maybe sometime in the future attitude.”
Just remember, the choice is always yours!
I Choose to Date Younger Women! (dialteg.com)
Time To Be A Realistic Dater (davidwygant.com)
Initial Conversations With Women, Not Being A Wussy, And Other Gems… (dialteg.org)
What Women HATE Most About Single Guys (dialteg.org)
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{ 1 comment… read it below or Attractive Comments Welcome }
yeah this is the ting that pisses me off the most… at a new job few yrs ago (i was 20 at the time) and sitting oppositte a woman who was like 28 just talking.. and i had no interest in pulling her at all. I mean i wouldnt even expect to due to the age difference and so on! And she mentioned a boyfriend literally within about 5 minutes of talking to her. and it was in the most pathetic way ever… I think she said something like “we went to the barbeque in my boyfriends car” lol. I mean why would you say that? You would say.. we went to the barbeque… or.. we went to the barbeque in a car… it is just funny that she said in the boyfriends car.
But what annoys me tho is in a way it kind of under mines me as a person. Its as if she is saying ‘the only reason your talking to me is because you want to sleep with me’. Which isnt the case.. and it annoys me. A part of me thinks.. be positive – she sees you as a threat so has to mention her boyfriend, which in a way is like a compliment. But on the other hand i also think it annoys me as it under mines me as a person really. I was tempted to say something back like.. i went to the local shop (….with my girlfriend) just to do it back to her.
and anotehr time recently me and my friend were walking back from a nigh out on town and a girl started asking to use my phone to ring her friends as she lost them.. then she started saying how she was in the pub with her friends.. and her boyfriend. And then started mentioning her boyfriend almost eery 3 sentences. but what makes me laugh is me and my friend both thought she was nice.. but she wanted something from us. SHe was clearly trying to get money for a taxi or something… But again it was like – oh well, dont mention your boyfriend then you stupid bitch lol then we may have given you money. But.. as you seem to insist on mentioning your boyfriend.. see ya later and enjoy walking home!
My final point is.. both these women were ‘ok’. Not stunning.. but youd give em one. And anyway the girl we met in town had a fat ass. And as far as im concered.. im not the one stuck with a girlfriend with a fat ass, so over all, im happy