One of the most intuitive and profound statements I have ever read was,
“If something isn’t working, stop doing it.”
That proverbial light bulb shined brightly on the most darkened details of my dating as a nice guy.
It was from David DeAngelo and it literally changed my life.
It was his intention to get guys like me to stop failing with women and admittedly, alone, it could not have worked, but when mixed into my new man-hood, gave me incredible results.
I no longer felt bound to my usual ways. I no longer felt compelled to think they same way I had in the past. I no longer felt driven to wish, hope, or romance a woman into liking me.
The nice guy who refuses to change himself, the way he thinks, or the manner in which he acts, is doomed to repeat the past and continually fail with women.
It’s a blunt statement, that I realize. It stings doesn’t it?
To merely contemplate that your nice guy ways of the typical good guy, or even just seeing yourself above the jerks of the world by your unwavering respect for women, does not get you the girlfriend you desire, and it certainly won’t get you laid.
If your overly nice, accommodating ways are not creating attraction and your failures with women are frustrating you, I want you to seriously consider the advice I’m about to give you.
1. Figure out the EXACT reasons why YOU are failing.
Your first step is easy if you have any kind of reading ability. It really is.
Learn the truth about attraction and find a way to pinpoint exactly what you are constantly doing wrong.
You’ll find most of them by reading these two “guest articles” here at DiaLteG TM: The Top Ten Reasons Why Men Fail With Women and Why Being Too Nice To Women And Not Understanding Attraction Hurts.
2. Allow yourself to change.
Yes, I said allow yourself to change. Don’t fight it. I’m not talking about becoming a jerk or to start treating women badly because you have a trait women absolutely adore, YOUR NICE GUY ATTITUDE.
Keep telling yourself this everyday,
The nice guy that learns how to attract is far more successful than the typical jerk that does not understand why he gets laid.
Go ahead and ask any woman you see and she will agree with me.
3. Get out of your comfort zone.
We humans have a tendency to get stuck in ruts, They are comfortable and we know what to do, and what to expect in those comfortable situations.
You must pull yourself out of that comfort zone. I did it long ago and it works if you go in with the right mindset.
You must approach it from the perspective of learning and growing yourself into a complete man.
Here is one example:
You find you always have the same conversations with women and it does little to create attraction.
Mix it up. If you don’t have the balls to give a woman a compliment, then you must learn how to do it. Change the direction in which the interaction is going.
Give her one compliment and that’s it. Just one. Just change the dynamics of the conversation.
Look in her eyes confidently and not creepy and tell her something special you notice on her. Notice the word confident though.
Having confidence is key to how women perceive what you give to her. It must never come from neediness. A confident man can occasionally give a woman a gift, either through a compliment or a favor, and he does not have to worry about how she sees it.
On the other hand if you are giving women compliments all the time, especially on first dates, STOP doing it. She does not trust your sincerity anyways.
All you are doing is feeding her ego and the last thing you want in your life is a woman who needs to have her ego boosted several times a day. You want a woman who does not need it but every so often find her heart melt because you made her feel special.
You can try complimenting yourself in a funny and cocky way. Lead her to believe you are going to compliment her but you are actually not.
“Your eyes are mesmerizing…I love how good I look in them.”
Again learn to try things differently and discover how that situation changes.
After all, if what you are doing is failing then changing it, can’t possibly make it that much worse, right?
Sure you are going to run into dead ends.
You are going to burn certain interactions.
You might even piss some women off but don’t worry about it.
Women, like most people, are very forgiving and the point of the exercise is to begin to discover how to succeed with dating and relationships.
Always remember understanding why you fail with women will bring you closer to being that nice guy that can finish first without becoming a jerk!
Learn why and how you’re failing.
Get a real education on how attraction for women works.
Get OUT of your comfort zone so you can start new experiencing new and hopefully more exciting dynamics.
Nice guys fail with women NOT because they’re nice but because they usually don’t do or know those three things above, their belief system won’t allow them to change, and they keep trying the same thing over and over again, hoping someday it will work.