13.It’s Important to Understand The Difference Between What Women Say They Want and What They Really Do Want.
Nice Guy Tip 13 is about making sure you understand what women really want and a little of why.
You see, as a nice guy, I thought I knew what women wanted and I wasn’t half-wrong…
But I did not understand the real meanings behind it or how I could still be that guy without having to be a jerk.
It wasn’t always clear that what they said they wanted, what made them feel attracted, and the guys they often end up are not always about what they say.
Their so-called “laundry list” is not a logical thing because:
1. What you think it means is how a guy thinks, how we perceive it… logically. In other words, our “male minds.”
2. What she gets from the list is about how they engage her on an emotional level. Some invoke feelings which prove your “list” is real underneath or her instinctive reactions through her “female mind.”
Remember when she’s telling you the characteristics of the right guy for her – she’s accessing a different part of her brain.
She’s giving you a list which is normally the same for people in general:
- Confidence. A self assured guy.
- Humor. Not too serious. Takes life easily.
- Mystery. She want to work for you. Figure you out.
- An Experience. Something to tell her friends and family. Something memorable and new.
- Feelings. The ups and downs and the in-betweens.
- To feel Special. Having you feel attracted to her uniqueness.
- Leadership. A take charge guy. A man to rely on for some things not but everything.
- Social Status. The ability to communicate with others and keep and hold real friends.
You’re no different. Your list would be very similar.
Change leadership to nurturer, social status to being understood, mystery to allow our independence with clear barriers, and calm down the feelings part and you found yourself the perfect woman.
Her conclusions are typically based on a life she wants to live ( in a relationship ) or is to trying live through her goals and needs as woman.
Your conclusions are also based on a life you want to live ( in a relationship ) or your goals and needs as a man.
“Look closely at the language a woman uses when she expresses the sentiment of being protected. Most of the time women are talking about very similar desires and it goes MUCH deeper than mere physical protection from outside influences. What She Really Means When She Says, I Want A Man To Protect Me.
Now your “job” as a nice guy who wants to attract women is NOT about giving her what you think she wants.
That’s how most of us logically think based again on what’s above.
We don’t give her what we think she wants – we stir the emotions, invoke certain feelings which engage her “instinctual reaction” through her female mind which in turn reinforces her thoughts of reality.
Yes. I know that sounds complicated but that’s just the words I needed. There must be a simpler way to do it.
What I’m trying to get across is that it’s not what is IN the list – it’s how her emotions depict that specific trait or list item.
When she’s around a confident guy she may feel:
- More assured.
- Like how as a couple they could take on the world.
- How her ups and downs will not affect us too negatively.
- More free.
- Potentially fulfilled.
Yeah I guess confidence is a pretty big thing huh?
What all this may come down to is – as a nice guy tip – is that your “nice-ness” makes her feel well… nice. Which is cool and all but it’s just not enough.
You could be “acting” nice, nice for all the wrong reasons, unknowingly nicely manipulative, passive aggressive – unfortunately none of that is “trusted” because it’s too easy to mask an ulterior motive be it reasonable or not.
Other people must be allowed to determine their own opinions or conclusions. It solidifies their beliefs. It reinforces what they’re feeling.
A lot of those items on the list are normally attained internally through you. You don’t have to TRY to invoke them.
Just by being that person and allowing her to come to her own conclusions ( which has little affect on you, ) is how the attraction is created.
Please read the quote below.
“If you want a woman to think of you as a “lover“, then BE ONE.
If you want her to think of you as a provider, then just BE ONE.
What you haven’t quite realized fully yet is that when you know how to trigger ATTRACTION in a woman, all the “normal” rules go away.
If a woman feels that powerful emotional ATTRACTION for you, then she’ll do ANYTHING with you… just to be in your presence and have your attention.
If you have dialed up the ATTRACTION, then all you need to say is “come over here”.
I’m going to over-simplify here but “creating attraction” by becoming that guy is one way but won’t necessarily make something happen.
Something happens, or the attraction is acted on or “amped up” in a few ways but the most common is how you communicate those traits to her.
You communicate to her through your body language, your words, how you live your life, how you socialize, your actions and reactions – directly or indirectly that’s how she connects her emotions to YOU.
Not by saying how confident you are – not by trying to be a funny guy – not by withholding everything from her – and so on…