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6. Buying Attraction

He’s trying to buy her affection.

Your dates should not be about money or have anything to do with “trying” to get someone to like you… 32 Great Date Places

6. Never Try to Buy A Women’s Affection or Attempt To Attract Her with Money or Favors.

It’s a classic “Nice Guy manipulation” move and for some women it just might work – for a while.

Because yes, it’s true…

Some women WILL allow you to do anything you want for them. They will let you do favors for them knowing exactly why you are doing it…

But it won’t change how they feel about you.

It will not make her feel more attracted to you.

Because you can NOT buy attraction.

“A lot of guys feel there is a financial ‘price‘ for playing the dating game. They figure, if you’re going to get a girl you’re going to have to wine and dine a bunch of different women Understanding Spending Money on Dating Women.

Some women are attracted to wealth or men who have lots of money to throw around.

It happens and I’m sure most people are aware of that. I’m not going to lie to you about it.

But does NOT mean you need money to create attraction.

You don’t need money to enjoy sex. Sometimes you only need the cost of a few condoms.

You don’t need money for a great relationship.

A great relationship requires ( among many other things ) communication skills and a shared value of self-worth.

None of which can directly attained by just spending more money.

You don’t need to offer gifts hoping she will eventually see you as a great provider.

A great provider provides strength and stability in a relationship, and not money.

You don’t even have to lavish your new girlfriend with expensive outings an fancy dates.

That funky looking bear which reminded you both of Al Roker AND you both competed for; he’s your prize and she’s not going to get it from you that easily… is just one way you turn an inexpensive date into a great connection and in the end a romantic gesture.

If you do meet a woman demanding you must buy her things constantly for her affection, I suggest you break it off immediately!

Stop worrying about her.

She will find the next overly accommodating guy who doesn’t understand attraction to pay her bills.

Hell, done right, if that’s what you’re into – she’ll sleep with you on the side while he’s paying for it. Not the best arrangement but trust me it happens.

Here’s a something about me I rarely talk about but hopefully will reassure you on these facts.

I had more money when I was NOT going on dates. I had more money because I did basically nothing with my life.

It cost me money to straighten my appearance and to maintain an above average attention to those details.

It cost me even more money to buy my “learning tools and instructional videos” to learn how to become more attractive and to become who I am today.

I was going out more, meeting up with my friends, and that understandable, cost me money.

Sometimes a little.

Sometimes a lot.

Either way the cost was always higher than sitting at home on the internet or watching TV.

Suddenly I found myself broke and clawing my way back up the money ladder.

But you know what?…!

Even though the ladder grew taller and taller ( as we all know I’m a short-ass guy haha! ) there have been many times if it wasn’t for some incredible women I might have fallen off the face of the earth due to a lack funds.

And these were not women who just “wanted to be friends”.

We were sexually involved on many different levels depending on the woman.

My point is – I was, at one point, flat-out busted eating dollar dinners for nights on end, but I still managed to attract women.

And a lot more of them when I actually had money – and a lot more of them who wanted me for me – and not my money.

Sp please take my advice…

Refrain from choosing the option of wealth to try to “get the girl.”

Save YOUR money for your own investment and not hers.

More women will actually love you more for NOT trying to buy their affection. They will appreciate YOU more. Who YOU are.

They will love the freedom to take care of themselves first.

You can NOT buy affection. You can NOT buy a woman. Attraction does not have a monetary value – It’s an uncontrollable feeling YOU stir and create.

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4 comments… add one
  • De'Borah

    This is a great article! I don’t understand why more men don’t realize that a woman’s heart can’t be purchased. There has to be an emotional connection with the other person. Initially, the focus should be on building the relationship – getting to know the other person and allowing the other person to get to know you. It really doesn’t make sense to start off by trying to impress someone with gifts without even first getting to know what type of person they are. It’s just inappropriate, and it makes the woman feel awkward and uncomfortable if there isn’t a mutual attraction. What’s not to say that the woman isn’t a gold-digger or is just out trying to use the man for some reason? The type of guy who would go about trying to buy a woman’s attraction and/or affections is just going about it all wrong. It really IS a form of manipulation. It may go undetected for a while. However, eventually, when the behavior is realized by the woman, she will probably come to resent him for trying to do so because it is like the man is trying to control the woman’s feelings. Insodoing, the man comes across as just wanting the woman to do what he wants her to do – not caring about how she feels. Moreover, it also shows that he is very insecure and selfish in not allowing the relationship to be built based on communication and trust. It also sends the message that you are not interested in how the woman feels and that you only care about impressing her. Men like this are superficial and shallow and are incapable of winning the heart of a wonderful woman. Besides, a woman of quality and character can’t be bought anyway. So, he’s really just wasting his time and money thinking that she can be won in this way. I don’t know why more men that do this just don’t get it. They have no chance of winning because they lost out from the start.

    • Thanks for the comment De’Borah. I appreciate your opinion. I also appreciate your deep passion for this subject and how men trying to buy your attraction does nothing but offend you.

      I believe the men who don’t realize this are the overly nice guys. Their intentions are good but how it’s perceived is not, in creating attraction that is. They also may subscribe to the belief of how dating works according to their social values.

      Ask her. She agrees. Take her out to dinner and a movie. Bring flowers to show signs of a goodhearted man who respects her.

      He’s demonstrating a slight financial risk and short term investment into the date. This perhaps is his way of showing her she is worth the effort. Unfortunately they believe without this progression she will not feel attracted to him. Worse yet she might even think he’s a typical jerk because he did not pay, offer to pay, or bring her a gift on the first date. He’s not aware, was not taught, or maybe refuses to believe the truth behind attracting women and then building a healthy relationship lies in her emotional connection and investment of herself.

      Since we’re on the topic of finances, yes…finances, and this is for all the guys reading this. Would you invest your money in a company which was unable make you feel comfortable, the holders were not confident in their product, and at the same time failed to excite you?

      I don’t want to over simplify attracting women here but it stands to reason, and oddly as it sounds, a woman is more likely to invest in you if you’re confident in your product, (yourself), make her feel excited, and almost at the same time comfortable connecting with you.

      We will all agree there are “gold diggers” and “sugar daddies” and we can do our best avoiding becoming one, (if that’s not what we want.) No one in the right state of mind wants to flail in a shallow pool where our esteem get thrashed about.

      And since the majority of us are kind decent people just looking to enjoy their lives, without infringing on someone else’s happiness, listen to De’Borah. Not only because it makes sense, but because of the passion and conviction this woman has towards men who try to buy her attraction.

      And how that same passion and desire to share her voice is ignitable without the use of money or gifts. Because without touching her, she reached out, without trying to sway her opinion with money, her desires shifted to showing genuine emotions, without even a spoken word across an expensive table she experienced – Frustration, Desire, Urgency, Confidence, Passion in her Belief, Drive in her conviction…and so much more.

      And you don’t need a blog post either. It was just the venue.

      But what attracted enough her to read and then write, is what you must strive to achieve and you’ll attract more women, and quality women, than your money could ever buy. Remember those “gold diggers” and “sugar daddies” are the minority. This means there’s more women that will gladly give more than just the time of day, than there is that won’t because he can not “afford” her.

  • Shay

    I agree with De’Borah and this article.

    I spoke to a guy that I met for all of 2 weeks and broke it off because they said they bought me a gift after a few days of knowing me. I felt uncomfortable and told them to return it from wherever it came from because I don’t want it. It’s not like I don’t mind gifts… if you know me and if it is something I would like but to just to do it after a few days is almost desperate and tells me that they lack self-esteem and confidence if they think buying my affection is going to make them more attractive.

    Just like De’Borah said it’s not actually caring and I find it inconsiderate and rude. I’m not interested in money because I make my own. I’m not interested in gifts at first because it will add to the collection of stuff I’ve already got plus it isn’t even my birthday or a holiday and even then would I still want to accept it?! Probably, probably not… depends on if I know you well enough.

    To all the men who do this… let me tell you this not as a female but as a person… that type of behavior will just get you used by those who don’t mind taking you for a ride because you enjoy splashing cash on gifts on people who you don’t even know so well. Get a clue, wake up and smell the coffee. Have a conversation, do things for free, take her to intimate places like out for drinks or dinner that’s fine to be paid for or go Dutch, get to know interests, likes and dislikes and respect those things. If you find yourself being rejected or used by women on a constant basis then to be honest you’re performing ‘relationship insanity’ and expecting different results with the same package in a different skin… rinse, lather, repeat under the same rejection cycle you go.

    As for the guy that I spoke to for those 2 weeks I resented him and I resented him for actually trying to buy me. I’m not a bag that can be bought and filled with stuff that has been bought by him because I’m too priceless to be bought.

    The most manipulative thing about this whole buying shizz is that when this woman ends things or the relationship turns sour there they’ll be playing victim about how much they splashed their cash on gifts and she didn’t appreciate it or throwing it in her face like she asked for it when in fact the need for self acceptance was not accepted and the rejection of self was before her rejection of them. It’s actually sad.

  • Thanks for Sharing Shay.

    I especially like the part about playing victim when things go bad. It’s bad enough when a relationship ends – but to punctuate it with, “But I’ve given you so much…” makes it even harder on both people involved.

    Although all were great points.

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