What to Say When Approaching Women

What does a nice guy that finishes last do, when approaching a woman he desires?

The nice guy that constantly finds himself in the friend’s zone leaves no doubt in her mind, that he wants her.

Do You know what to say to her when you approach her?

He puts the woman on a social level that is higher than his own. He not only approaches a woman haphazardly and nervously, but also makes it extra clear to the woman that he is interested in her. He needs her to like him back. He may also use pickup lines he learned in high school, or from a cool television show. And then attempts to mask his intentions, hoping she will not be offended or upset by his approach.

What does a nice guy that finishes first do, when approaching a women he finds attractive?

The nice guy that doesn’t allow the friend’s zone to be her choice doesn’t give away his status to the woman. He doesn’t allow her to be his one and only when he barely knows her. That same man understands that if he approaches a woman, she will automatically assume that he is interested, and therefore leaves the overused compliments for another time. He saves his compliment for a time when it will be for her only, romantic and unique. He doesn’t need pickup lines because his fun flirty self is not concerned or stuck in his own head about what to say. He also understands if he fails to start a great conversation with her it is not the end of the world. So he will move on.

I would say my biggest mistake I used to make when I approached a girl, was waiting entirely too long and not knowing what to say.

I was never clear if she really wanted  me to approach her. I wasn’t aware of her flirting signals and I was not confident on how to get a girl to like me. I had so many doubts running through my head my brain would freeze up. I was also constantly stuck inside my mind, thinking about what to say. So I would wait for the words to come to me and the right time to say, them but they never did. The moment would soon pass or the night would come to an end with yet another failure.

Knowing what to say when approaching a woman is a difficult task for many men. But think about the last time you made a good friend. You probably can not even pinpoint your exact approach. Who really does that anyways? Who thinks about a non-sexual approach in making a friend?

I’m positive some guys are not great in social situations and just making a friend may be difficult, but there are many more men that struggle approaching a strong good looking woman. That I can guarantee!

“The truth is it does not matter what you say.  You can say almost anything and as long as you are coming from the right place emotionally.  A place of high character and strong boundaries.  Literally, you can walk up and say, “God I feel constipated… what’s up guys?” and get the girl.”

—Doctor Paul,  Have You Have Ever Thought “What Do I SAY To Her?”…

So don’t concern yourself so much about what to say. This will often make it harder to have a natural, stimulating conversation with most women you meet.

There are a two categories you can put the approach in:

A cold approach is where you approach a woman and you haven’t made any kind of eye contact at all. I would not suggest this approach if you are struggling with your confidence or self esteem. If you are extremely confident and have a great attractive personality then go for it. You shouldn’t have to worry about what to say. Your words will flow naturally and your body language strong enough.  However if you’re having trouble getting to that next step there is good reason to believe you’re allowing her to lead the conversation. You walk up to her with higher status, and then slowly hand it over. Which is not good for attraction. Leave a comment or ask me a question if you want more advice to help this type of man. He is rarely covered on my posts.

A warm approach would be in the same environment but you have already made eye contact with her. This is the best method for any skill level with women and I still believe women prefer this method. Your success rate will increase using this. The best part about the warm approach is that you will find she will often make it easy for you to approach her, especially if she is single and wants to meet guys to date. This is how this works. It’s really just part of the human mating process. You catch each others eyes, she looks away, usually down and to the right. A little while later you look up and feel her eyes on you again, so you catch her glimpse and she looks away again. WARNING: If you see her eyes widen, looking up and rolling her eyes, it is usually not a good sign she wants to meet you. Anything but that, or hiding among her friends, is the perfect time to approach. Don’t wait and let the moment pass.

If you learn to get good at this, you will be surprised how much easier it is to have a woman open up to you. She will allow the conversation to develop naturally. You will also find with casual confident eye contact that women will actually come to you. She may not walk up and say hi, but she will put herself in a easy position for you to begin a conversation. This particular area can and will be covered in later posts but if you just can’t wait, join my newsletter or ask below in the comment field.

With all that said let’s talk about actually WHAT to say to women.  But wait one more second. I have to assume something about you and I don’t like doing that. I have to assume…

You’re confident.
You have high self esteem.

Your body language is that of a sexual man.
You’re not wearing a dirty t-shirt with the words “Wanna fuck?” on it.
You understand how to talk to a woman and increase her attraction towards.

Notice the little “talk to a  woman” part at the end. Because that is where it belongs.  It’s such a small piece of how any approach begins.

Alright you have all the basics covered.First of all, always remember this, most women generally love to talk. It doesn’t take much to get the words flowing out of them. But you also must learn what not to say.  learning that has helped me more than trying to figure out what to say. That can become very unnatural for me. So I remember what not to say, and let everything else take care of itself. I feel if I stay away from old bad habits and just flirt more things go extremely well.

Your first conversations should avoid these at all costs:

Don’t compliment her.

Don’t offer to buy her a drink.

Don’t give her your name unless she asks and probably not even then. At least right away. Let her wonder.

Don’t ask if she is single, has a boyfriend, or if she seeing anyone.

No politics, religion or family talk.

Don’t ask close ended questions. Nothing that can end in yes, or no.

Don’t respond directly to her questions. Play with her but have fun and make sure she is laughing.

Don’t smother her unless where you meet is extremely loud. But then only lean in, to talk.

No fidgeting, quick movements, or unusually whiny or fast speaking.

I feel it is important to learn the don’t s because I believe it frees the mind up. It’s easier than thinking about what to say. And when you start thinking too much it seems unnatural and you will come off as creepy or inexperienced. If you know what not to do, if can allow yourself to be more free and open. Especially since you can’t predict every situation.

I have spent a reasonable amount of time thinking of situations and writing down how I would respond in a cocky funny way. A lesson taught to me by David DeAngelo.  And it did help a little but I started to get so caught in my head. Once my list of what to avoid grew large, all it took was a small moment for my brain to tell me , “No Stop it!” and I was back on track and not reverting back to my old, nice guy on a non stop first class flight to the friend’s zone.

Your conversation can include these:

Something she is passionate about.

Something you are passionate about.

A funny and sexually based story. Learn how to tell interesting stories.

Busting her ass in a funny way about something you notice.

Fun and flirty games.

You can even bust on yourself a little. Just do it sparingly.

Talk about her choice of music at a jukebox, or what she is holding. Maybe what she is reading. Take a look around and notice details you can bring up that are fun.

Sou see what to say when approaching women is not that hard at all. If you struggle with it because you are getting nervous or you fear rejection, you’re going to have to get that under control. I’ve learned throughout my life when I put myself in situations that made me nervous, I overcame them quickly. But I actually like feeling a little nervous at times. I don’t want to feel anxious at all but I’ve learned to distinguish the two feelings. A little nervous energy can heighten your awareness so use that energy in a good way.

It’s a very fine line between high anxiety and a little nervous. That’s good though because it works both ways. You can step across the anxious line just as easily as going from slightly nervous to extremely fearful…

All it takes is a little courage and becoming confident in your skills with approaching women.

If you want specific help and you’re just not sure who has the best advice on your specific areas with women, just let me know or leave a comment.

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