Limited Beliefs

The words “limited beliefs” are used because that is exactly what they are. Beliefs that limit you as a person. But your beliefs are not ingrained. You are not born with beliefs. They can be changed, added,  and even removed with the proper techniques.  However some are easier to work with than others. Some are so deeply rooted in can take serious approaches to even just to find out what they are. Your limited beliefs will affect all areas of your life and if you don’t get a good handle on what they are, why they are there, and what values they are supporting, you will make it extremely difficult in achieving goals with women.

I will reveal one of my own that I had and explain a way to work through it to change it through  NLP, or Neuro Linguistic Programming. The technique is known as Re-Framing. Below is a common belief so I’m sure there are plenty of men out there than can relate to it.

“Women are not attracted to me because I am too short!”

It did occur to me when I looked around at my peers that had no problem attracting women, some of them were short. Some were even shorter than me. I often wondered what they had that I didn’t.  What was it about them that allowed women to see past their height and feel sexually attracted to them that I was missing? What it because some of those short guys along side of me had giant muscles? What it because they were with a good looking girl already so other girls were interested? They were therefore social proofed.

All were great questions and in theory much knowledge can gained from discussing those particular items but I was missing the real root of the problem. My focus was on someone else. Not my own. You see the more I would think about what someone else had that I did not possess myself, the more ingrained and believable my beliefs became. My brain was searching for answers and of course, it would find them. It always does. Otherwise how could it rationalize it’s existence.

How the world sees me or the External State of that belief:

“I’m too short so women are not attracted to me.”

How it makes me feel or the Internal State:

“I don’t feel attractive or good looking because women only like tall men.”

Those two beliefs are connected but they do represent are a false view. They don’t see the whole picture and relating them to each other is considered a limited belief.  I will now ask some simple questions about those statements.

Read this article “A Reason To Believe” Dave Rawlings Copyright © 2007 empatec ltd on values, beliefs and how they are connected to learn more about making some connections on your own. Write them down and work through them. You might be surprised what you can come up with on your own.

I’m going to ask a few simple questions in an attempt to re-frame the belief above.

• Is it true that all women, everywhere, at any given time, are not attracted to a shorter man?

Of course not! There are some incredibly successful and sexy, attractive shorter men everywhere I look. That statement above can not possibly be true or nature would have weeded out short men long ago. But we are here and we do accomplish wonderful feats despite of what some would view as a shortcoming.

• If I were a taller man, how would that change my existence, or who would I be if I was born a tall man?

I would’ve been born more attractive and not suffered through my younger years in dating the women I truly wanted. WRONG. Flawed thinking again. How in the world could I have known that if I was born taller what my life would have been like? How many tall men do I see everyday that unfortunately have no luck at all with women. Some of them might even be quite handsome. Imagine that. Imagine you are born a tall handsome man and yet you still find yourself struggling with understanding women and your own sexuality suffers for it.

• How will my life be if I continue to think this way?

Thinking this way will compound the issues and deeply nest the connections in my brain. They will link up to other limited beliefs and the problem will get worse and worse until something is done about it.  My brain knows it can not change it’s height so it finds ways to rationalize the whole belief system based on this. Intertwining the falsehood of not feeling attracted to being lonely, not having a girlfriend, not getting a job or promotion, and strangely enough having shorter offspring which in turn will doom their existence to suffer the way I did. You see how all that works and how changing one limited belief in your life can affect so many areas of who you are and how you perceive the world around you.  Above  the mind came up with excuses for many different ideas based on one belief. It found a way to explain itself so well that it created a terrible web of  deception or blind spots.

Read this on article,  “Framing and Reframing Your Successes and Failures”  – by Oz Merchant for a few examples of re-conceptualizing your ways of thinking into a “glass is half full” not “half empty” manner.  It will show you new ways of thinking that can deter limited beliefs from happening.

• Can I think of a time in which I did feel attractive despite my height?

Of course. I had many opportunities growing up.  I turned down so many women for other reasons but at the time it never occurred to me that they found me attractive despite of my height. I always wanted more but those women did not find me attractive. So I would use the height excuse for many of them. Also I have no way of determining how many six foot tall women found themselves interested  in me but I was too caught up in the idea that her height meant she could never want to be with a short man like myself. For them, I wouldn’t even bother trying.

• From the woman’s perspective, “I could never be attracted to a short man”

Is she stating that she completely understands her attraction mechanism, and has control over it? She knows without a doubt, that she will never be attracted to a man of my size because that is the way it has always been for her. Amazing how re-framing through this manner reveals another person’s  limited belief about how she perceives the world around her. How would that same woman react if she were to suddenly feel attracted towards me? How would she act knowing inside she felt something she couldn’t explain why? Her mind would attempt to rationalize it and it would eventually come up with it’s own explanation for it’s beliefs. But she would at first though feel confused. She’s never been attracted to a man like me before and in turn searching for the reason why might cause her to wonder more and more with each passing days. Only confusing the issues in her brain and compromising her own structured values.

Changing your limited beliefs are essential to becoming a complete man that not only attracts, but also has the ability to choose the women he wants in his life. The great thing about it that it doesn’t involve changing all your nice guy habits. It may require you to change the way you view some of those nice guy qualities that don’t attract women, but but that’s it. Your values which are held up by your beliefs do in fact affect every part of your life from your physical appearance to your mental abilities. I’ve already explained the mental issues and you should check out the video below see to how they affect you physically.

I first got started in N.L.P.  (Neuro Linguistic Programming) by applying certain techniques used to help my golfing ability and to heighten my learning and decrease the practicing time of my music skills. I really didn’t start applying that knowledge to my personal life of dating and attraction until I went through David Deangelo’s Material. He goes fairly deep into it in his Advanced Dating Techniques Series. Who would have known some tools I learned long ago would be so useful in my quest to be the nice guy that finished first with women. So if you want to get rid of many of your limited beliefs you really should look into what NLP is really about or just go through the exercises above and plug in your own beliefs. The concepts or techniques of NLP are not just confined to Re-Framing so I suggest you look into all areas of it. I have used them all and do they work when applied properly and not haphazardly.

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