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A Limited Belief System Can Make A Nice Guy Appear Unattractive

A Limited Belief System Can Make A Nice Guy Appear Unattractive post image

“Do You know what your limited beliefs are and how they affect your ability to attract women?”

The two words, “limited” and “beliefs” are used to give us the exact meaning…

They are “beliefs” which “limit” you as a person and narrow your perspectives.

The good news…

Your beliefs are not ingrained.

You are not born with them.

They can be changed, added, and even removed with the proper techniques and better experiences.

The truth is: Some are easier to work or change than others.

Some are so deeply rooted in can take some serious approach to even just see them.

The good news is…

I’ve found when it comes to our “nice guy” plight, attracting women, becoming better men, and all the goes along with it…

They’re not really that difficult to overcome.

However since your limited beliefs will affect ALL areas of your life, if you don’t get a good handle on what they are, why they are there, and what values they are supporting, you will make it extremely difficult on yourself to achieve certain goals in life.

Today I will reveal one of my own which I’ve overcame through a process based on NLP, or Neuro Linguistic Programming.

The technique is known as Re-Framing.

You can find a template in my Eliminate the Friends Zone Ebook: Creating Attractive Boundaries and Eliminating Your Limited Beliefs

MY OLD NICE GUY BELIEF: “Women are NOT attracted to me because I am too short!”

If your height seems to be serious problem for you and this exercise does not help you, I have found only ONE man to help us out: Secrets to Success with Women for Shorter Men – Signup Page for “Not Too Short”. I highly recommend it.

Okay now…

It DID occur to me when I looked around at other guys who had no problem attracting women, some of them were in fact short.

Some were even shorter than me and I often wondered what they had that I didn’t.

What was it about them that allowed women to see past their height and feel sexually attracted to them?

What I was missing?

Was it because some of those short guys along side of me had giant muscles?

Was it because they were with a good looking girl already so other girls were interested? In other words were they more socially proofed than I was.

Were they rich or more handsome?

All were great questions and in theory much knowledge can be gained from discussing those particular items but I was missing the real root of the problem.

My focus was on someone else.

You see the more I would think about what someone else had that I did not possess myself, the more ingrained and believable my beliefs became.

My brain was searching for answers and of course, it would find them. It always does. Otherwise how could it rationalize it’s existence.

Hence the external state of this limited belief of being too short to attract women.

Here are my personal answers based on the re-framing technique.

How the world sees me or the External State of that belief:

I’m too short so women are not attracted to me.

How it makes me feel or the Internal State:

I don’t feel attractive or good looking because women only like tall men.

Those two beliefs are connected but they do represent are a false view.

They don’t see the whole picture and relating them to each other is considered a “limited belief.”

I will now ask some simple questions about those statements.

I’m going to ask a few simple questions in an attempt to re-frame the belief above.

Is it true that all women, everywhere, at any given time, are not attracted to a shorter man?

Of course not!

There are some incredibly successful and sexy, attractive shorter men everywhere I look.

That statement above can not possibly be true or nature would have weeded out short men long ago. But we are here and we do accomplish wonderful feats despite of what some would view as a shortcoming.

If I were a taller man, how would that change my existence, or who would I be if I was born a tall man?

I would’ve been born more attractive and not suffered through my younger years in dating the women I truly wanted.

WRONG.

Flawed thinking again.

How in the world could I have known that if I was born taller what my life would have been like?

How many tall men do I see everyday that unfortunately have no luck at all with women and some of them are actually handsome.

Imagine that.

Imagine you are born a tall handsome man and yet you still find yourself struggling with understanding women and your own sexuality suffers for it.

Hmmm….?

Now.

How will my life be if I continue to think this way?

Thinking this way will compound the issues and deeply nest the connections in my brain like they already have but only worse.

They will link up to other limited beliefs and the problem will get worse and worse until something is done about it.

My brain knows it can not change it’s height so it finds ways to rationalize the whole belief system based on this.

Intertwining the falsehood of not feeling attracted to being lonely, not having a girlfriend, not getting a job or promotion, and strangely enough having shorter offspring which in turn will doom their existence to suffer the way I did.

You see how all that works and how changing one limited belief in your life can affect so many areas of who you are and how you perceive the world around you.

Above, my mind came up with excuses for many different ideas based on ONE belief alone.

It found a way to explain itself so well that it created a terrible web of  deception or blind spots.

Those blind spots were linked to feeling lonely, not being able to get a girlfriend, losing a job or missing a promotion, shorter offsrping, and the list goes on and on and on…

Next up…

Can I think of a time in which I did feel attractive despite my height?

Of course.

I had many opportunities growing up.

I turned down so many women for other reasons but at the time it never occurred to me that they found me attractive despite of my height.

I always wanted more but those women did not find me attractive so of course I would use the “height excuse” for many of them.

Also I have no way of determining how many six foot tall women were interested in me because I was too bent on believing her height automatically meant she could never want to be with a short man like myself.

For them, I wouldn’t even bother trying.

On to the next one…

From the women’s perspective, “I could never be attracted to a short man because…”

Is she stating that she completely understands her attraction mechanism AND has control over it?

She knows without a doubt, that she will never be attracted to a man of my size because that is the way it has always been for her.

It’s amazing how re-framing this way reveals another person’s limited belief about how she perceives the world around her.

How would that same woman react if she were to suddenly feel attracted towards me?

How would she act knowing inside she felt something and couldn’t explain why?

Her mind would attempt to rationalize it and it would eventually come up with it’s own explanation for it’s beliefs.

But she would at first though feel confused.

She’s never been attracted to a man like me before and in turn searching for the reason why might cause her to wonder more and more with each passing days.

Only confusing the issues in her brain and compromising her own structured values.

Changing your limited beliefs are essential to becoming a complete man that not only attracts, but also has the ability to choose the women you want in your life.

And it does NOT involve changing ALL of your nice guy habits.

It may require you to change the way you view some of those nice guy qualities which don’t attract women, but but that’s it.

Your values which are held up by your beliefs do in fact affect every part of your life from your physical appearance to your mental abilities.

My first lessons in N.L.P.  ( Neuro Linguistic Programming ) came by applying certain techniques used to help my golfing ability and to heighten my learning and decrease the practicing time of my music skills.

I didn’t start applying that knowledge to my personal life of dating and attraction until I went through a lot of David DeAngelo’s work so I suggest you at least check them out.

You can find some great articles by him here at DiaLTeG TM to help you decide if he’s the right guy to teach you.

He was definitely the right guy, at the right time, to completely change ALL of my relationships with women I strongly encourage you to look into it.

Who would have known some tools I learned long ago would be so useful on my quest to be a nice guy that CAN FINISH FIRST with women.

If you want to get rid of, or RE-frame many of your limited beliefs look into what NLP is about and/or just go through the exercises above but plug in your own beliefs.

Again the template is here: Creating Attractive Boundaries and Eliminating Your Limited Beliefs

Nice guys CAN finish first with women because being nice is not limiting our attractive appeal… it’s our believes that may be getting in the way.

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2 comments… add one
  • Robinincarolina

    I have begun exploring these limited beliefs in my life and re-framing! It’s powerful, my whole life is changing. Thank you for this lovely posts and I love a short man by the way! That was my limited belief that I couldn’t fall for a shorter man. Boy was I wrong and was I missing out. Again, Kudos for this!

    • Thanks Robin and welcome to the world of us “hot” shorter guys. Enjoy it. The great part about doing limited beliefs exercises is how even if you don’t get to many “aha” moments, you always find yourself thinking differently and acting more positively.

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