“How strong is your inner game?”
Your confidence, self esteem, and lack of limited beliefs will determine your inner strength.
It will determine how you handle your problems.
It will determine your charm and magnetism when dealing with women.
The nice guy that finds himself buried in the friend’s zone consistently will often lack the skills in these areas.
Some of them may be weaker than others but they are still there. In my searching and exploring through the advice given by leading men and women I have yet to find a method in which will guarantee complete results.
Why is this?
It is because you, and you alone that should determine your methods or order in which to proceed.
Not so much the methods but more of the order in which you feel you must proceed. It is advisable to have your inner game developed before you develop your outer game.
Doing the opposite will only lead you back to the first.
I have found that is the case in most peoples quest to further their dating or relationship experiences.
The inner game is basically your foundation. A starting place or a jumping point.
Yet the problem I have found with complete focus on the inner game is that too many men dive so deeply into their minds that they forget to practice. They spend hours reading theory and not much time practicing what they’ve learned. It is very important to practice, or put yourself out there for several reasons:
- Easier to discover your own personal skills you are missing.
- Learning from your failures, mistake, or successes.
- Find out what works for you specifically.
Being able to know which part needs more focus is actually part of your inner strength that I am talking about. It is this strength you are developing that will give you the power to put stress on a given area at a given time. When I first starting learning all this it took complete inner strength to say to myself and follow through with,
“Okay today I am going to attempt to flirt with every woman I come in contact with.”
And that is what I would do. My strength stopped me from so called “Chickening out” and reverting back to my old days. Sure it was a little strange at first considering I wasn’t much of a flirty man to begin with, but it got easier and easier as I went along. It also took my inner strength to realize during that process that taking things to the next level, from flirting to dating was a whole new area in which I needed to work on.
So how can you figure out which areas you need the most help in?
First you must decide what it is specifically that you are looking for. You need to be very detailed and as realistic as you want. It does not matter. If you just want to date hot girls and have more one night stands, then write it down.
You are only limited to you own determination. If you are just looking for a long term relationship with an attractive woman then write it down.
Just be clear and precise and go into great detail. Write something like this using more sex as an example, because who doesn’t really want more sex unless you are an overworked porn star:
- I want more sex.
- I want enjoyable and more frequent sex.
- I want attractive women to want to have more sex with me.
- I want more enjoyable and much more frequent sex with hot, attractive women.
- I want to be the man that hot smart women with great sense of humor are drawn towards having more sex with me.
Can you see how I have done this.
First I wrote a simple phrase of what I was looking for. Then I became more specific with the keywords like sex, and women. After that I can keep going as far I felt necessary.
This can even be changed with time as you grow through your experiences. Who knows maybe you will start looking for more sex but wind out finding you just want a long lasting relationship. It’s all up to you and your particular goals.
Next you must determine how you are going to get it. This is not as easy but it goes something like this.
How do I become the man that hot smart women with great sense of humor are drawn towards having more sex with?
Now turn the question towards yourself.
What type of man do attractive women really want?
Now you can begin to research the hows and your inner strength will be the factor in which you follow through. It will help to make sure you get a handle on those issues or skills you feel that are needed. It will aid you in staying on the right course.
Your inner strength will allow you to decide which path you will need to stay on course. Keep in mind that’s it’s all a process and some with progress quicker than others. You gain a little confidence. Your self esteem is boosted through a success.
You get a little stronger inside which allows you to handle your failures better which in turn makes your more confident. They are all so connected that giving focus to one of those areas will more than likely boost another area.
How strong you are will also inadvertently allow you to handle of few aspects of the nice guy dilemma of being too nice, and failing to step out of the friend’s zone for good. Refusing to do a woman’s bidding because you find her attractive and want her to like you requires strength to stand your ground and tell her “NO”.
When you begin to notice a woman’s testing of you this will require an unbending attitude to not break your composure. The stronger you become the better equipped you will be to handle those situations.
But to also handle those situations in a very masculine and attractive way.
It reminds me of a Seinfeld episode where George and Jerry are watching a couple eating close by. She is crying heavily yet the man continues to eat and not give in. I am not suggesting that you should never console a crying woman but there will be many circumstances you will find yourself in that the woman will test you through drama. And these are the times in which you should not give in to avoid being a “wuss” or a pushover.
How can I build my inner strength?
Strengthening exercises mentally are a little different than just lifting weights everyday to gain muscle strength but it does require the same commitment. You can do it through yoga, hypnosis, self affirmations, or meditation.I’ll continue to search and add some more links here to help you get started in the right direction.
Here is a simple yet intuitive article I found by Clayton Lowe:
I don’t wish to throw random articles your way but after reading his article I felt compelled to visit his page and I was more than impressed.
Personally I have found mediation through breathing exercises, inner reflection through a personality test called the cube, which I will go into more detail later, reframing my limited beliefs, and what I would call, “cold hard tactics“.
Breathing exercises helps me to relax and stay in the moment and I can use them in most circumstances. I exercise physically almost everyday and it helps me to feel better inside, stronger on the outside, and allows my mind to escape for a limited time and focus on the feelings strictly to my body, and not my mind.
The cube is a personality test designed that I have found to be effective to figure out another personality, or goals in their life, but I also used it to change myself through constant reflection and changing the initial results when I first took the test.
For example I saw a unicorn as a response from one of the questions being asked of me which showed I was looking for something that did not exist. For some time I would relive the test in my head and place a more appropriate answer or one that I felt I actually wanted, not what my mind first saw. This helped me tremendously.
“Cold Hard tactics” as I describe it is a way of putting yourself in a position to overcome a certain fear. Sort of like standing outside of an obviously cold pool. Not cold enough to hurt you but initially, it’s a shock. So instead of weening myself in, I take some deep breaths and go for it.
Works for many situations in which your fear needs to be overcome but there is no real reason for that fear.