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Understanding A Woman’s Test and How To Pass Them

Will you pass this woman’s tests?

It’s a well-known fact that women can, will, and do test men at every level of dating and your relationship too.

Learn to pass these tests as a part of your personality and you can increase her attraction quite easily.

Notice the two key points in that last sentence , your personality, and increase attraction. My nice guy’s approach to attraction is about adding to your personality the skills needed.

It’s not about learning tricks that negate her tests.

There are several steps to needed to achieve this. Below you’ll find as many as I can come up with at this time. Click on the links to easily skip around within the page.

I firmly believe by reading this page and following the links you will have a much better understanding of how women test.

1. Learn to Recognize these tests. Recognize

2. Begin to understand how to pass them. Understand

3. Build your lifestyle and add to your personality the traits needed to pass them. Lifestyle

David DeAngelo taught me the difference between being a man or a wussy and when you distinguish the difference between these two personalities you will be on your way to succeeding in all three steps above.

1. Recognizing Her Tests

The most common question I hear from men about a woman’s test is,

How do you know if it’s a test?

The simple answer here is, whether you like it or not, assume everything is a test. Over simplified… Yes. But I can guarantee if you spend your time figuring out if she is testing you will lose quickly. You will be taken out of the moment and she will sense your hesitation.

Two important facts about testing you must understand is:

Women rarely ever realize they are doing it.

This isn’t what EVERY woman does. and it’s not like we have a big rule book that tells us to do it- it’s a automatic thing that girls who know they are good value as partners do without thinking. And they’ll rarely admit they even do it. But they do. I’ll admit I do. And those guys who pass the test? They can pretty much do anything after that. I’m sold.
Rachel Goodchild- “Do Women Test Men”

When she turns the level up it’s a great sign she is interested in you.

I consider myself an attractive woman so if I’m putting you threw the tests bear with me it means your worth the time to figure out. Most women (like men) have been hurt before and we just have to try suttly to see if your like the last jerk. If you notice that a woman is going too far; trying to see if she can boost her self-esteem by belittling you, ditch her. But if it’s a small test like asking you about your previous relationship she’s thinking about what you would be like in the long run.

Steff – Being Cool Comment

Recognizing her tests is just not as important as learning how to pass them.

If she has even a small amount of interest in you, she will test you. I have yet to meet any top dating expert that would disagree with me.
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2. Begin to understand how to pass them.

Notice I carefully chose the words, understand how to pass them, and not learn to pass them.

There are several ways you can learn to pass them but understanding how to do it is more important for any continued success in dating.

If you’re a beginner in studying attraction it will help you to write down some common responses that work well in many different circumstances. (Until you get a complete grasp of how you should respond.)

You will want to add your responses into your personality. This will affect all areas of your life and by doing so multiplies your success in creating and amplifying attraction.

For example:

Understanding how even a male boss of yours will test you as an employee and then building into your personality the self-esteem and confidence to pass them can help your career. And men who succeed in one or many parts of their lives, definitely attract more women.

You must understand every part of your life is a test.

But not one that is given to you by others. Sometimes you give it to yourself through your personal integrity.

Understanding how to pass them starts with maintaining this integrity to a high level. (Under any circumstance.) Always maintaining this level no matter how attractive you think she is becomes natural if you practice it with everyone.

This second step is designed to make you consciously aware of the connections between attracting others and passing tests which may appear to have no connection to dating.

This requires some thought about who you are. It also requires some thought into your social dynamics with others.

If you have read this far and you are beginning to realize this whole testing concept is a huge part missing in your personality, but you don’t even know where to begin, consider investing in a solid product and stay away from quick tips and hints. They will almost always lead you more confused.

Now let’s go onto number 3 since it is so related to number 2.

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3. Build your lifestyle and,

Add to your personality the traits needed to pass them.

The important thing to remember here is that you don’t have to play manipulative games to pass her tests.

At first you may want to learn the proper techniques and some common responses but in the end it will help you more to integrate it all into your personality.

Let’s now break down her tests into some common types:

Sight - This is where a woman will scan you the first time she sees you for inconsistencies and clues as to how you live your lifestyle. Sight

Conversation –  This is the most common. She will test you with questions to see how you respond. This is the area most men focus on a lot because this is where your conversational skills will either enhance or create attraction or ruin any and all sexual tension . Conversation

Physical –  These are not just touch tests. These can be her attempt to see how far you will go before you crack and admit wanting to sleep with her. This will be your hardest and most confusing test. So be warned. Physical

Emotional – This is where she responds emotionally to something you say or do to gain the upper hand or higher status than you. Using this a woman can rule out tons of nice guy’s who are not strong enough. Emotional

Let’s look a little deeper into each one.


When a woman first sees you she will often scan your looks for congruence, excitement, and a deeper meaning behind your look. She wants to know quickly what kind of lifestyle you lead and how will it fin into her social life. Generally speaking of course.

  • Will it make her more popular among her friends?
  • Will her family accept you?
  • Can you physically please her?
  • Are you a clean person?
  • Do you excel at the details in your life?
  • Will she have to dress you everyday?

She want to know that how you present yourself to her matches your personality matches it. They have to be consistent or she bails.

Excitement is  - do you live a wild lifestyle, sometimes too wild for her, sometimes not. Depends entirely on what type of guy she thinks she is looking for.

The deeper meaning behind your looks is – Do you care enough about yourself to maintain a sense of style and dress.

The three mentioned above are almost always used together.

For example if you show up dressed up like a rock star this might excite her at first. When she checks you out she will attempt to test  how you dress and who you are.

Checking for tattoos that are creative and deep. Shoes that are not bought at a department store. This is her congruency test and you may never realize it is going on because she can do this from anywhere. She then adds the deeper meaning to the mix by testing who you are associating with.

Everyone knows a rock star. If you don’t socialize with others and be the star you will fail her test and she won’t even have to talk to you to find that out. Unless you’re the angry anti-social rock star type. Either way she’ll have her answer quickly.

If you’re dressed in a suit and tie but you’re running around acting like you’re the rock star she also won’t have to bother talking to you. In fact she will probably avoid you.

This means how you dress should convey to yourself who you are. Not to her. Don’t worry about that part.

Obviously if you are clueless in this area you may want to seek advice.

To pass her “sight tests” you also want to make sure the details are taken care of competently. Not perfection. Screw perfection. That actually screams to a woman you might be a little too much into yourself.

Don’t be afraid to show very little weakness in this area because you just might get a few women that are curious about your look enough to approach you. Although they may not mention it at first.

Fashion Makeover brought to you by Marni. A complete guide to helping you look your best and to develop your own unique style. This is not about pea-cocking.  This will definitely help you pass any sight test from women.

Here are also three great sites and one extremely good articles on fashion:

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Here are some common questions and with typical nice guy answers.

What do you do for a living?  - “I’m  a graphic designer.”

What’s your name?   – “Larry. What’s yours?”

How old are you?  - “25. How old are you?”

Are you always this upfront? – “I’m just curious.”

Do you have a girlfriend? – “No. We broke up a month ago.”

Granted they are simple questions but how you respond to them are very important and answering in the typical nice guy way will land you in the friend’s zone quickly.

The more attractive the woman, the quicker you fail.

Let’s try this again but this time I’ll show you how to respond to pass her tests:

What do you do for a living? – “I run an online dating service for little people.”

What’s your name? – “My birth certificate says Max Power, but I prefer sexy.”

How old are you? – “65. I know… I look great for my age.”

Are you always this upfront? – “Wow, hitting on me so soon.”

Do you have a girlfriend? – “Yeah, but don’t tell my wife she might get upset.”

Notice how the dynamics of the conversation change when you successfully respond to her tests.

What you want to do is to create a fun and flirty conversations which portrays mystery, humor, and confidence. All three are very attractive traits. All three are parts of your personality you can add to your own to naturally pass her tests.

They also allow the interaction to build and by answering the right way, you can lead a woman where you want, and not where she wants. The longer you can keep it up, while still making her laugh, the more likely she will find herself into you. Be warned though – you can over do it. Please always moderate yourself in this area or you’ll come off as a creep or weirdo.

Sometimes though you can keep turning it up even if she gets upset because when she gets angry at your obviously absurd answers, she is taking her testing to a new level. If you break down and try to negate her anger by consoling her, you will fail her test. (See below for Physical and Emotional Testing.)

This is an area of testing any men can improve his passing average quickly and attract lots of women.

If you are failing in this area consistently it can be like a huge wall is being put up in front of you.

For amazing results learn how to pass these conversational tests because I get lots of emails from women wishing more men could understand how to talk to them. This is partly what she means.

Carlos is by far still the best at showing any guy how to pass her conversational test. Just just have to know how to talk to women, and how to talk with them. Because yes there’s a difference and if you don’t know it – you’ll probably failing this test every time. Video Presentation- 3 Reasons Why Women Test YouHow To Turn Women On With Small Talk

Here’s some more help on your conversations:

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These kind of tests often involve a deeper connection between you and her. However they can include a woman’s flirty test with how she dresses to judge a man’s instant reaction. So you better be on your game with this one.

I’ll explain further.

Have you ever noticed a woman who claims to not want to be seen as just another hot body but she dresses showing so much skin and cleavage  it causes most men to stare blindly at her?


The Physical Test. Her physical self against your will to see past her body.

Don’t get me wrong, woman dress that way for many reasons but there always seems to be the underlying theme, aside from the competition or lack of self-esteem which can instantly rule our the man who gets some, and the man who doesn’t.

Think about it this way. If you just got laid by a hot girl yesterday there is a greater chance you won’t let her looks affect your actions.

After all, to you, beautiful women are just a part of your life. Now as for the man who is never close to such beauty or even a  blatant slutty look  he may not be able to control his stares.

Her physical test of her beauty separates the real strong men who can handle her  from the weaker men who might end up being possessive jealous guys who only want to control her.

Here is another example and how you pass or fail the test.

Walking away and turning her head to see if you are checking her out.

FAIL: Turning away quickly so she doesn’t catch you.
PASS: Keeping your eyes on hers and raising an eyebrow with a, “shame shame” look on your face.

I have found the physical tests will often come after there is a small physical connection between you and her. These are the tests than can truly separate the men who get it from the men who don’t. So you better keep your eye out for them.

Leaning in for a kiss too early.

FAIL: Diving into her lips.

PASS: You say, “Wow. Are you always this upfront?“, then gently pushing her away with a smirk on your face.

Here is another example taken from a post I wrote about cuddling:

As if every man she has  just cuddled with, was there to get warmth, and hang out.

  • Real me do cuddle, when they are with their lover.
  • Nice guys do cuddle, when they wish to make her his lover.

Do Real Men Cuddle?

And another example from my man wussy test:

6.)  You’re kissing a woman and she starts saying quietly, “We should stop.
A.  You’re in a position where the next level will not be possible so you look at her and say. “Okay.” Then you walk away.
B.  You’re in a position where the next level will be possible so you look in her eyes for a second. Smirk, and then walk away not saying anything.
C.  You push the issue trying to raise the night to a new level.
D   You’re not in a position where the next level will be possible so you look at her and say. “You’re right. It’s late and I’ve got to get going anyways.

4 Answers To My Personality Test, “Are You A Man Or A Wussy?” part two

The physical test above clearly indicates to her your level of control and your ability to tease. You pass her test by indirectly proving to her she is on your physical time.

When you pass the physical test:

  • It tells her you can control your actions around any hot woman.
  • You can control your physical state and therefore be more than enough in bed to give her some incredible orgasms.
  • It shows her that you understand how to tease and build sexual tension.

Pass her physical test on all levels and she will not be able to get her mind off of you.

Trust me on this one.

At this level she will be contacting you. She will go well out of her way just to be around you. And she will always follow your lead whether she claims to be in control or not.
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Be warned of this test and learn to spot them quickly.

Often women with little or no value for themselves or for you are known for doing these kind of tests.

Sure she is testing you but in reality she is just showing you who she really is.

It’s unfortunate that even some higher quality women will find themselves doing these kind of tests. All you have to do is pay attention to the severity of it and the depth of it.

In other words, always ask yourself this,

“Is there a deep emotional issue causing her test or a small  -get it over with quick response-, or a test of your ability to hold your own against her?”

Here are a few quick examples:

Pouting. (small)

FAIL: Giving in to her demands.

PASS: “So…do all your guy friends actually fall for that look?

Fake anger. (small)

FAIL: Apologizing for making her angry.

PASS: Stating, “Would you like to borrow my friend’s  anger management tapes. They come in  three different languages, whiny, pouty, and grumpy.”

Hitting on your friend when you are on a date. (severe)

FAIL: Getting angry at her.

PASS: While smirking, “The two of you would make a great couple. Would you like to borrow her?”

Notice the difference between the severe and the small. Her small test was mostly about seeing how strong you are in standing up to her. Or being able to hold your own.  The severe emotional test has roots in jealousy and insecurity.

The small tests were about you.

The severe tests were about her.

That is the major difference.

If her tests center around her own insecurity or need to create extra drama the I suggest you excuse your self nicely and let her work on those issues without you.

In the small case pass them with the examples above using your own style. Pass several of them and she will soon give up and assume at this point, you can handle her so let the fun begin. Literally. :)
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The level of her tests will be consistent with how well versed she is with men. Or how much experience she has. Whether it’s good or bad will dictate the overall theme of her tests.

Sometimes that will have to do with how attractive she is and sometimes it will have to do with how strong of a woman she is and her experience with men.

Here are some types:

  • Highly attractive strong women can increase her testing extremely high.
  • Beautiful women who do not have strong personalities are usually not very good at it.
  • Average looking but extremely good at testing.
  • Average looking women that do not have strong personalities, therefore have not perfected the art of testing.

Recognizing the type of woman you are dealing with is very important to understanding when she is testing. 

Recognizing the level of her testing also will make it easier for you to create and build sexual tension with the specific woman you love to date.

If you are interacting with an average looking woman with a great sense of humor, but low self-esteem you must not turn it up too high. The only thing you will accomplish is hurting her.

However, highly attractive women with strong personalities and an extreme sense of humor you must never let go of the slack. Except perhaps in the moment she is screaming your name during sex. I suppose then it’s okay.

Be a real man at that point. Be sensual. Be sexual. Tease her but wait until after a normal period of after-play before you continue to testing her.


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Add On Testing Preview From My Newsletter:

A reader sent me a question and in order to show you as much as I can about testing I’ve included it below.

It’s a little long but I believe you will benefit from it so read it entirely on…

Oh… And a HUGE THANKS to this anonymous nice guy. I appreciate it and so will every ‘good guy’ out there. Here is what he first wrote me:

Hi Pete, I hope you can give me a bit of advice. I feel you can because of your excellent advice given on your website.

ME: “I’m blushing…Haha! Seriously though, thanks man.”

I have known a woman, whom I met on the internet, for about a year and a few months now. Things started
out with a bang! Her kids enjoy me as I do them. However, their mother is one of the most indecisive people I have met and her confusion is indicated in how she treats me. Countless times she will say she wants to marry me, call me everyday, flirt, etc… only to turn around and pull a disappearing act.

Thinking she liked me, I would text her and call her and also send her and her kids gifts on their birthdays. I would hint around to things becoming more serious and she would back off. Someone described it best as a fencing match; advance, retreat. After about 10 months, when I would hint to her that I wanted to become more serious time and time again, and after we had finally met in person, she would retreat only to advance later and say,

“Come on, you know I like you. I shouldn’t have to tell you.”

Last year, things took a turn for the worse when she stopped calling me all of a sudden. Come to find out, from her kids telling me, she was dating someone. It was all a big secret and the guy had flew to visit her and get this, asked her to marry him. She turned him down b/c she, “didn’t really like him.” After that didn’t work guess who became the fall back guy? Yup, me. She popped up on my fb account and said,

“hey, remember me?”

I said,

“yeah, the magician. Where you been?”

She said she was giving me my space. Little did she know that I knew the deal. I busted her and since the beginning of the year, she has called me everyday, and when I don’t answer she will say, “where were you?”

Basically, it’s confusing me. The advances and retreats. I can’t say that I don’t think about how that guy flew out there only to be turned down. She keeps asking when she will see me again and to be honest I am not going to spend a bunch of money on someone playing a game. My mind is numb from the games and I really wish she would just come out and say, “I want you” or “we’re just friends”.

At this point, seems that I want more but then she wrecks that idea by advancing again. I also have to add that recently she has asked me for advice on how to stop thinking about things…”like, when you see a car they use to drive and it reminds you of them”. One week she is sad and the next happy. When I ask, “how are you” the famous phrase is “ok, I guess.” I know good guys attract women who are emotional wrecks. I have had my share of problems but do I stop trying to help and focus on other things?

Help, should I throw in the towel? I’m a nice guy but come on, I have to stand my ground as a man before she continues to walk all over me.

I’m no one’s emotional mat or rebound. We’re just ‘friends’ and I know she’s looking for other guys as I am looking for other women. However, when she sees girls flirting I know she gets a bit jealous.
At this point I am growing tired of the guessing game.

Thanks for your advice, I cannot go on for another month like this.


Hey xxxx,

Thanks for writing and trusting in me my opinions.

You don’t have to throw in the towel but you must throw her out of the ring. Let me explain.

For of all, and I won’t be dispelling this myth because you already figured it out -

Women are irrational. Women are emotional. Women can be happy one minute and sad the next. And yes, this woman
appears to be no different. Not that it’s a bad thing. I believe part of that quirkiness attracts us. It’s that part of them which allows us to step up and be that strong male presence in her life she so desires.


A woman telling a guy, “You know I like you.” shows me your attitude or nice guy ways, are making her come to the conclusion you seek her approval. I did it enough times to see all the patterns.

And you just can not validate how someone feels about you by asking them, without them feeling this insecure energy.

Such as this statement you made,

“My mind is numb from the games and I really wish she would just come out and say, “I want you” or “we’re just friends”.”

A woman telling a guy, “I wanted to give you space” also typically means,

“You’re smothering me. I feel pressured.”

They do this “excuse” thing because women want to avoid hurting someone’s feelings. It’s a mark against their
nurturing instincts as a woman. And nice guys get thrown excuses from them all the time because:

1. They feel in charge of where ever the relationship is and want to keep that control. AND/OR

2. They feel the guy feelings may get hurt.

Next up…

The cat and mouse game.

Her indecision on committing.

Her testing:

“If I pull back and he chases me I know he digs me. If I pull back and he does nothing I’m free to date others. If I pull back and he chases a little I know he’ll still be there after I tested the next guy on my list. If I pull back and he gets angry he may not be strong enough for me. If I pull back and he gets sad I know he likes me and he’ll definitely be there when I come back. If I pull back and he shows more affection then I know he doesn’t have other choices.”

Do you get the feeling no matter what you do about this test you can not win?


Well you can…just don’t ever react to a woman’s test when it manifested in this way.

You want to throw in the towel because you’re playing in her ring. Throw her out and demand by mature actions she can come play in your ring anytime you are free to allow her.

With that said, her test:

“She popped up on my fb account and said, “hey, remember me?” I said, “yeah, the magician. Where you
been?” She said she was giving me my space. Little did she know that I knew the deal. I busted her and since the beginning of the year, she has called me everyday, and when I don’t answer she will say, “where were you?”.”


HER: “Hey, remember me?”
YOU: “Who is this?”
HER: “It’s me (name), you know that.”
YOU: “Are you sure? (name)’s voice was a lot sexier before. ”
HER: “Hey now, my voice is just as sexy, I know you remember me.”
YOU: “Ohhhh (wrong last name) weren’t you the girl whose Mom was hitting on me that day.”
HER: “Hahah! No!!! Wait my Mom, she hit on you…wait… stop it , you know who I am…how have you been? :)

See the winning test. See how now she playing in your ring. Sure she realizes you remember you and you’re joking but then you throw in the statement about her Mom, a person who confuses you just as much, and she gets it. I’m like my Mom and you don’t like that about me.

Winning this test, and not playing in her ring means you can not react one way or another to her.

Later you can tell her you missed during those critical relationship steps but it’s best for now to let her see you’ve got a life without her and things are going good. But you can not just come out and say that, it’s boring, and she will read too much into it.

How does someone truly prove they miss them…by having fun with them immediately like nothing ever changed.
Once you do that you form a deeper connection. She understand she does not control you. You get to keep your status and choices. And the benefits from acting like this, which is still being a nice guy, reward more than I could list here.

Next test:

“she has asked me for advice on how to stop thinking about things…”like, when you see a car they use
to drive and it reminds you of them”.

HER TEST: “Is he the jealous type? Will he act like a friend or a rude boyfriend? Will he show his “clinginess?” and so on…”

Give her the advice she is looking for and you’re forming a friendship. Act like a rude boyfriend and she see you’re true nature of the relationship. Act jealous and once again prove to her she is in control over your emotions. Become clingy and you show her your lack of real choices in the world.

Feel like you can’t win again? Hahaha!

Not at all!!!

Here’s the cool part.

Stop reacting and start acting in a way that is exciting, different, and never gives her exactly what she is looking for for.

And in this manner she gets thrown out of the ring once again and you’re in control of yourself.

HER: “How do you get over thinking about things from a past relationship?”
YOU: “Wow. You were really into me, weren’t you? Haha! That’s sooo cute.”
HER: “No, seriously. Stop that. How do you do it?”
YOU: “What was the question again?”
HER: “Omg!!! How do you stop thinking so much?!!!”
YOU: “You’re asking me how to be stupid? Thanks… Haha! Course I never thought you were the type to be so into a dumb guy like myself. You do know I got an A once in tenth grade English. Teach said I was brilliant. Hahaha!”
HER: “Wow. Why are you being such a pain in the ass. You’re obviously upset about that guy I was seeing.”
YOU: “Him..no…we talked it out. We’re having lunch next week to discuss you entirely. Maybe cry over a beer while singing (ALL BY MYSELF-EL-ELF!!!! Haha!)
HER: “You’re such an ass. I can’t believe I like you.”


You see how you acted on always being fun and stopped reacting to her tests. And if you piss her off too much and do it real badly chances are you’re not going to ruin it, she’ll will get over it and then bring it up later on. (To see if you still stand your ground.)

Now in a relationship she’ll expect you to give a little but in a relationship if she brings up not being able to get over another guy….it’s probably time for a big break.

Still feel like throwing in the towel?

One more thing before I have to get going. You’ve already proven to her you can be a stable man and a good father. So she sees you as long term. But if you don’t start taking the lead and give her those gut reactions of attraction by acting as in my examples above…she may never commit till she’s explored the men who can give her those gut reactions her emotions are brought out.

I’m not talking about bringing out her jealousy or going against your nice guy attitude, I align with good guys all the time because well, I enjoy being around good people, but as a nice guy you still have to pass those tests and not let your emotions, or her control those emotions, dictate your reaction.

My whole point of this was allow you to see what goes on behind a woman’s mask and the reasons she does act in certain ways. To allow you the insight to avoid future events from happening in the same sequence again.

And now that you have this insight you can start using it with her after pulling back.

I can’t tell you to throw in the towel you have to make that decision yourself and learn to deal with your choices, the good or the bad. That’s what makes you stronger. The lesson you can learn from this however is never-ending and can stay with you forever.

This type of lesson when objectified properly, can turn us guys into true leaders of our own choices, and that alone will attract the less decisive women out there easily.

Feel free to ask a follow up and please keep me informed on your choices. I definitely way to hear them.

I see you’ve subscribed to my newsletter and I’m looking forward to having you around.

I must now ask the inevitable, can this letter be used anonymously in my newsletter to help others?
Without your permission I will not reprint any part of this. I would appreciate you letting me know either way.

Thanks again for writing but please remember my advice, taken in any way, is always done at your discretion alone.

Good luck and wee’ll talk again soon,



What can I say? After reading your email I not only solidified the idea that I have been playing in her ring, but recognize my past mistakes and how to correct them.

I have been watching Carlos Zuma’s Alpha Male program and in combining it with the resources on your website,
I have come to realize that I do not have to be a jerk. I can still be a nice guy but at the same time know how to present myself in situations that will benefit ME.

Your ‘tests’ as well as your suggestions from my examples were spot on. She has been playing me like a fiddle and testing me. No, men cannot win against a woman’s constant whirl wind of emotions and if anything, they really do give us the opportunities to be a man and win them over with confidence and a ‘take charge’ attitude.

For the past several days, I stopped calling her. She called yesterday and I did not answer the phone. It was good both for my self-esteem in realizing I do not have to do it as well as creating the ‘mystery’ that so many women love. “What could he be doing”, “Why didn’t he answer”, are questions that will go through her head. This is where the importance of balance comes into play. Give her just enough space to miss me or begin to wonder and then re-enter the picture. Balance is the key in attracting women as well as being successful in any venue of my life; too much will ruin it and not enough will have the same effect.

Yes, she knows I am stable but I gave too much away, too soon. That will never happen again. The goal for me is to keep the interest going. I have come to several understandings that will help me in my journey. I realize I smothered her last year and lost my ‘cool’; always act fun and ignore her tests.

The major take away point from you, which I hold above all others, is to appear successful, busy, confident, and willing to fit her into my schedule. What woman would not want to be a part of a man’s life where other people (ie. women) love me, so I “must be a great catch”. Finally, I know to give a woman her space but also to move on if she is confused or not willing/ready to commit. Who has time to waste on something that is dead weight?

I do not think I will be using the phrase, ‘good guy’, anymore after reading your email. Almost overnight, I feel that ‘good guys’ have so many stigmas attached to them where ‘nice guy’ implies, for me at least, that I am a good-hearted person but knows how to stand his ground. That, my friend, is the “wow-factor”. Sure, some women date jerks and bad boys but secretly, they want someone stable. So, why not incorporate some of the attributes or the first two while maintaining the calm and cool of a man who is anchored and has his life together, knows the true principles of give and take, and uses humor, teasing, mystery, etc… to keep her interest high.

For the benefit of other men out there who are or have gone through the same thing, I give you permission to
use my letter(s) to you however you may want to use them.

I hope that men will read our correspondence and realize that we have the power to change a losing situation into a winning one by the simple recognition of what a woman is doing and creating a slight alteration to place the outcome back into our hands.

Success is mine and thank you for the passion, time and effort you used in responding to me.


Wow!!! Great to see a man taking charge and I’m glad to know I have helped. I sincerely appreciate evrything
you’re doing.

Keep up the great work!


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4 comments… add one

  • Excellent, excellent article. Thank you for this. I want to emphasize one thing, though: many women, much like men, are unhealthy and will use your for validation or other purposes. Dump them from your life immediately, and find healthier options.

    No amount of passing tests will fix someone who is broken. That’s what psychologists are for.

    • Very true Fred and thanks for the compliment. I appreciate it.

      Too many men walk around with such low self-esteem they believe women are inherently better than them.

      I personally don’t take sides between the sexes. I believe there are PEOPLE. Some are genuinely good. Some are not. There are men who manipulate (or test in this case) women, and there are women who will do the same to men. And when either of the sexes learns to recognize the equality in “wrongdoing,” they can begin to see themselves as being just as good as anyone else. Which is extremely important in attraction and even more important in recognizing when someone just may be using them.

      Thanks again.

  • rlsmith

    so bassically the advice is, never take a woman seriously…girls are silly and cute lol

    • peter white

      Well sort rlsmith. Haha!

      Never take yourself so seriously and lots of the “tests” she gives, becomes silly and cute.

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