Nice Guys Guide on How to Attract Women and keep him self out of the friends zone

Do You Understand Women?

Are you a nice guy and what is it that makes you one of them?

It’s unfortunate the nice guy label given to men have them always stuck in the friend’s zone. Trying to escape or get out for good with any future interactions. They don’t typically have many girlfriends and struggle getting the women they really want, to be attracted to them.

This guide is meant for those men.

Below You will find a guide or a short how to, in attracting women. It will cover many if the basics, but the how you use it, is up to you. If you just simply read it, and do nothing, you will get nothing from it. If you put into practice or discover more about the areas you did not understand, you will undoubtedly begin to discover the attractive man that is inside of you.

These two men demonstrate the kind of men who eventually get dates and get laid, or the ones that get stuck in the Downward Spiral, becoming more bitter and avoiding women.

The only man who isn’t worthy of a woman is the one who isn’t learning from his mistakes and trying again. He picks himself up, dusts himself off, and tries until he succeeds. He only fails when he fails to keep trying and learning from his attempts.

So which of these two would you rather be?

There Are Only Two Different Kinds of Men by Carlos Xuma at Attraction 101 for men

As you may have heard me mention before, I have created a simple breakdown of being cool. It also creates a step to step procedure to becoming a more attractive man. If you’re a nice guy that wants to learn to attract more women, and stay out or escape from the friend’s zone it is extremely important you look at these closely.

Don’t get me wrong. A nice guy can still be considered cool and find it difficult to get a girlfriend. But it is more than likely that he is missing, or failing one of the steps.

INNER GAME

Confidence:

Real true confidence. One way a nice guy to fail this part and still be considered cool is to exhibit an overly confident attitude. Borderline arrogant and seen by women to be insecure. He may be seen as cool but more often than not, has a string of failing relationships. due to the fact people or women soon find out about his insecurities.

And what is the best way to increase your confidence?

By eliminating your limited beliefs!

I’m going to show you how to get rid of some of these limiting beliefs RIGHT NOW, because I don’t want you to spend even ONE more day feeling like you can’t meet women you want every day or that there is anything holding you back from having the dating life of your dreams (because there isn’t!)

I tell you that ANY man can get a woman if he finds that brilliant part of himself, builds on it, and sells it hard.Deal with these things DIRECTLY. That’s what women really respect and admire. Directness. It says that you’re not afraid to deal with situations when they come up. It’s showing self-confidence.

Confidence Despite Liabilities – We all Have Them by Carlos Xuma at Attraction 101 for Men

Self-Esteem:

Self esteem is in one way, security. It is rare that a nice guy will succeed in being cool or be considered to have an attractive personality without this. It can not be faked. You may be able to hide your insecurities by being overly confident but your true lack of self-esteem is easily found by hitting your trigger points. One trigger can be seeing a woman you want hook up with going for another man, or woman.

In order to be able to go out and meet women, you’ve got to first start a relationship with yourself. When you wake up every morning, you have got to feel good about yourself.

You have to like yourself. You have to like who you are. You have to like what you’re all about.

It is ESSENTIAL that you love who you are and what you’re all about.

The #1 Thing Keeping You From Meeting Women by David Wygant at Attraction 101 for Men

And how do you work on your self-esteem?

By working on the six pillars:

The 6 pillars are:

1. Live Consciously

2. Accept Yourself

3. Take Responsibility for Your Experiences

4. Assert Who You Are

5. Live Purposefully

6. Maintain Your Integrity

The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem By Nathaniel Branden

Inexpensive books from my store at Amazon.com

Indifference:

Not caring what others think and understanding an outcome is just that, an outcome. Learning to focus more on the action and then learning to objectify the outcome is key to being indifferent. The take it or leave it attitude can be faked for a while, and the nice guy that struggles in dating, almost always portrays himself as investing in the outcome of his actions.

How do you become indifferent?

Honestly I wouldn’t worry about this too much. When you grow your confidence and your self-esteem, becoming indifferent is unavoidable. You can’t create from nowhere. It’s merely a wonderful side effect and the first time your truly experience what it feels like to be indifferent you will never forget it.

When I started learning and gaining he skills to attract women my “a-ha” moment was during the holiday season. I was at a toy store looking for gifts for my niece. I approached the counter and she began to ring me out. Without looking away I confidently stated, “How you doing (her name) ?” She seemed quite puzzled that I knew her name. She was not wearing a name tag. Her mouth dropped and she smiled back at me,

“How do you know my name?”

I led her to believe that I am really just a good guesser and we played and flirted on that for a short time.

At the end I accused her of being gullible because just before I walked up to her counter a fellow worker of hers mentioned her name and I couldn’t help but overhear it. I was about three feet away.

She of course blushed. She was slightly embarrassed but she was still smiling. I was amazed that I could get a hot girl to blush in my presence. But that was not my moment. I looked right in her eyes and said,

“Maybe we will see each other again.”

And I walked away. It may not seem to be such a big deal but for me it was the first time I truly turned up the attraction in a beautiful woman, teased her, and showed no investment of where the interaction would lead to. So I walked away knowing I could have stayed longer and perhaps get her phone number. But I just didn’t care. I wanted to go meet someone else as quickly as possible and practice my new found skills.I was completely indifferent.

The purpose of my story is that just the act of learning became more pleasurable than the outcome. Of course I do want effective outcomes but at that time in my life, what I needed to learn was what being indifferent felt like and I was able to achieve it by creating attraction and flirting, something I struggled with in the past, and then walking away. My past self would’ve put myself down for failing to get her number. My past self would have lingered around too long and most likely ruined the attraction by falling into my nice guy ways.

Fearless:

You can be fearless while not possessing of the previous traits of a cool person but it considered to be a form of self deformation. Living on the edge. Doing absurd things to get you noticed. For example when a particular man goes on a show like Howard Stern and eats something horrific to get noticed can’t possibly have high self esteem or the real confidence of an attractive man. He trying to get noticed instead of allowing himself to be seen. And there is a difference.

Fear of rejection is a fruitless seed. Men who suffer from such anxiety stop their pursuit before it even starts, and this gets them nowhere. With that said, any time you spot an attractive woman, you should seize the opportunity to talk to her. While there’s no guarantee that she will react positively, you can be certain that you won’t catch her attention by not approaching her.

How to Overcome Your Fear of Rejection by Women by Steve Scott at Attraction 101 for Men

I always considered myself a fearless man. After all I’ve been on stage in front of over a thousand people. And sure, I was a little nervous but I managed quite well. But then again I also felt I was the only musician in history to not get laid often and found myself consistently in the friend’s zone. Because even after doing a show I could not cold approach a woman without screwing it up. So I never bothered. I was too fearful of an event that didn’t even happen. For me, it was more of a fear that if she did like me, I wouldn’t know where to take it from there. Once I learned the process and how attraction really works, the fear went away. I found I was confident enough in understanding women. My self-esteem was clearing itself up from all the limited beliefs I had. Then my indifference was allowed to grow and develop naturally. And the fear went further away.

Being Cool:

And here we are left with being cool. The magic mix of all those listed above is called the inner game and being cool requires a solid inner game.

THE DEFINITION OF COOL

I personally think that being “cool” comes down
to:

1) Being independent

2) Being indifferent

3) Being funny

4) Being socially adjusted

by David DeAngelo

A confident man with high self esteem has no problems being socially adjusted and being independent. Therefore he also shows his indifference in a natural way. And I don’t know any men that possesses those traits that does not understand humor. It’s easy to be funny when you have no disruptive thoughts blocking you from just being yourself in many or all situations. Especially when you a woman is starting to feel attracted to you.

OUTER GAME

I may downplay the outer all too often, but it is only because without a good handle on it; the outer game of attracting women doesn’t mean very much. They are absolutely connected and relate to each other the same way all the pieces of the inner game do.

This is the area where I have found most men want to know about it. They want tips, tricks, one line openers, and they want guaranteed results. If you have spent any time on my pages you must know by now, that is not something I believe in at all. Sure you can pick up a book and learn some tricks for meeting women but what good will that do you in the long run?

There is one guarantee I can give you about the outer game and it is not about failures, it’s about a feeling. It is the feeling you will get when you interact with a woman you are attracted to, and are interesting in getting to know better. That guarantee I will give you is that if you follow this guide and all the wonderful advice from my fellow dating experts and learn/practice the skills required, you will experience something many men who use tricks or stolen one liners, don’t ever:

A personality that women can not resist!
The ability to have longer lasting relationships of your choice.

Back to thew outer game…

Body Language:

First check out the two quotes listed below and read the articles associated with them. This is only a guide to attract women and covering body language fully requires more than this page can handle. But follow along through the articles. It will take some time but I feel after reading the entire path each one creates, you will have a deeper understanding of how your body communicates and how, as a nice guy, it can help or hinder your success with women.

So if your body language is strong and shows interest in her, then her body language is going to follow yours and reflect signs of interest in you. If your face is engaged – you’re smiling and your eyes are focused in on her eyes – and you are paying real attention to her, then her body language will follow yours.

Create Her Body Language by David Wygant at Attraction 101 for Men

I had no clue that so many women were ruling me out as a potential date on my body language alone. I had no clue that attraction could have something to do with my body. I thought it was about looks. Good looking men walk proudly because they got laid. Average looking jerks walked confidently because they too, got more women than even my dreams would allow me to experience.

I now see clearly how my body language communicates with women and how it can increase or decrease any attraction she might feel. I now see how important it all is and I want to share with you as much advice or tips I can find.

Body Language is Communication by Peter White

Becoming a Charming Man and Learning How to Flirt:

Charming is a word reserved by women to describe a man that knows how to flirt, knows how tell interesting stories, and has exceptional conversational skills that make her feel more attracted to him. And that is why I have included it.

Have you ever swept a woman off her feet? If you have she most likely saw you to be charming. You responded in a challenging way to her tests and you did it without demeaning her. You triggered an emotion inside her that made her want to see you again. And isn’t that the goal of becoming attractive?

You also didn’t bore her with typical questions any man can ask. Instead you dazzled her and led the conversation where you wanted it to go. You teased her a little and gave her space, all at the same time.

So how do you work on this magic charm and flirty personality?

Watch others that are good at it. Notice every detail you can about their interaction. Notice how the dynamics flow freely between them. Notice how they sometimes will exchange blows as if they were sparring, but instead of fists, they used their intelligence.

RULE #1) Flirting is always acceptable in a humorous tone. If you get serious, a woman is going to turn off and tune you out.

RULE #2) Flirt to GIVE, not to get.

Outcome thinking sabotages your results. When you create a situation where you have to get a result from something you do, you no longer feel fun.

All conversations where someone wants something from the other person inevitably become uncomfortable.

RULE #3) Flirt for your own FUN.

If it’s not fun, you won’t keep doing it. Self-reinforcing habit. You must have a positive motivational reason to flirt, or you’ll feel like it’s just another chore and you’ll stop doing it.

Flirting With Women by Carlos Xuma at Attraction 101 for Men

You should read through my two main pages on flirting and by the time you’re done, you will have a good handle on flirting. The next step would be to practice, practice, practice.

How to Flirt With Women

Flirt Mastery

Understanding Women How Their Attraction Works:

Obviously if you want to know how to attract women you must understand they key principle of attraction. There is no better way I can say it because it has already been stated a million times by David DeAngelo. And reading his “Attraction isn’t A Choice” Ebook did it for me. Once I read that book it opened a whole new world to me.

Attraction isn’t a process that happens by “choice.” In other words, a woman doesn’t start talking to a man and say to herself, “Wow. This guy seems very smart and funny… just the type of guy I’ve been looking for… I think I’ll feel attracted to him.

Excerpted from Advanced Dating Techniques by David DeAngelo

Women are about feelings. There may be a visual aspect of what attracts them, but most women will overlook appearances for a great attractive personality. And there is a way to grow and build your personality into an attractive man.

In my old nice guy way I did not understand that at all. I thought I could change their minds or make them feel attracted to me, but it just never worked. I could not will her mind into feeling something that wasn’t there. I had to learn to create attraction and spark a chemistry the moment I met them. There was no time to wait until I was banished to the friend’s zone.

- WHEN A WOMAN SAYS THIS:

“I’m not ready for a relationship…”

OR

“I think we should just be friends…”

- WHAT SHE REALLY MEANS IS THIS:

“You seem more like a brother or a ‘nice guy’ to me, and you’re just not raising my feelings of attraction. I don’t feel any spark of chemistry. Mostly because you don’t seem all that exciting, or I feel like you’ve got an agenda.”

Simple Guide To Understanding Women by Carlos Xuma at Attraction 101 for Men

And now Joseph Matthews amazing quote on attraction.

Don’t try and change their minds… change their EMOTIONS.

When a girl tells you about a specific thing she finds attractive, you got to understand that’s not a LOGICAL attraction trigger she’s sharing with you.

No, sir.

When a girl tells you something like “I like to date tall guys,” she’s not telling you she’s attracted to guys who are tall.

She’s telling you she’s attracted to the way tall guys make her FEEL.

Normally, if you ask a girl why she likes tall guys, she will share with you that maybe she “feels safer” with tall men.

So in that case, she’s looking to feel secure with the guy she’s dating.

Guess what? You don’t have to be tall to make a woman FEEL secure! you just need to know how to trigger that emotion inside her.

So let’s say you want to get a woman attracted to you – no matter what you look like.

Do you know how to make a woman feel that kind of attraction?

The key is making her feel FUN when she’s around you. If you can make a woman feel fun, chances are she’ll feel attracted.

Why?

Because attraction is all about feeling good! And if you can create some good old fashioned sexual tension in there – guess what?
She’s going to be SEXUALLY attracted to you!

I’m going to end this guide for the nice guy by explaining one thing I’ve learned about attracting women throughout my life. It is possible for any man to find the attractive man inside him. I honestly believe that. I have been through the step by step process and I have seen it work with others. Don’t ever feel like being a nice guy is a bad trait to have. Good women like nice guys and they want to feel attracted to them. I do not doubt that even just a little.

I hope men who often find themselves feeling completely helpless in understanding women and finding a girlfriend, will read this small page and realize that it is possible to change. Many men before them have escaped from the friend’s zone label and a few select brilliant ones, have written everything about how they did it. They also want to guide you.

Enjoy my small guide on how to attract women because it could be your first step in getting this part of your life managed. It’s structured to get you started or get your feet wet. It is not meant to be an all inclusive encyclopedia on women but I do believe it can be a useful reference.

Self Worth And The Need For Achievement (slideshare.net)
Nice Guys Lie to Themselves, in Their Just Friends Relationships (dialteg.com)