You might not ever walk up to a woman and actually say,
“Hey you know. You’re stunning. Too bad you won’t like me. I’m not as good as the guys you normally date.”
But that might be exactly how you’re acting.
When a woman is testing you she’s looking for a reason to disqualify you or better even, qualify you.
That means she’s looking deeper and wants to know how far she’ll let things go or move on herself.
She is also searching for clues which are not always obvious but are more accurately revealed through her tests.
If you subconsciously disqualify yourself her attraction will most likely diminish or fade away quickly.
I don’t want to scare you into thinking one screw up and you’re done for because that’s how a “nice guy” thinks – who doesn’t have much luck attracting women.
Just keep the mistakes to a minimum. Control what you can – which is yourself.
Here are some common things to avoid which may be disqualifying you that you might not even be aware you’re doing:
Lack of good eye contact or looking down often when you talk to her.
Soft confident eye contact is very important so you want to avoid “submissive” looking down with your head and eyes too much.
Doing this can certainly disqualify you AND it’s something you have control over.
Staring at her mouth constantly when she talks.
This one is strange but I’ve done some experiments myself done wrong seems to creep women out.
Almost like you’re sizing her up for a kiss at the wrong time in the wrong time.
Triangulation, as it’s called has a time and a place so if you want to learn what it is – so you can either avoid it when it’s not right, or do it seductively when the time is right then please read this –> The Kiss Technique – Get A Girl to Kiss You Without Fear of Rejection.
Asking too many random questions nervously with no purpose to them.
Talking to women is not like talking to men If you want to create attraction and not disqualify yourself.
Don’t just randomly jump from topic to topic and avoid steering the conversations in places where it seems like you’re just trying to figure out if she likes you or would sleep with you.
Most women see right through and assume you have very little experience with the opposite sex.
Lead the conversation as smooth as you can and stay on track.
This is a great article for learning how you can talk to women which won’t have her blowing you off –> Create Instant Attraction So She Calls You First, How To Talk to Women.
Over-complimenting with your words or your eyes.
Yes your eyes can over-compliment. Staring at her tits and ass with a look on your face like you haven’t got laid in decade will definitely get you disqualified quickly.
I wouldn’t mention this all so easily if I didn’t do it myself and trust me, no matter how good or subtle you are – women are far more proficient in this area and they will notice you’re doing it.
Most of the time they won’t even say a word but they’re thinking it and remember it.
I won’t mention complimenting with words because it’s pretty obvious – just avoid saying what every other guy might tell her and you’ll be much better off.
Quick, uneasy or unsure movements especially when you’re close to her.
This again depicts a lack of confidence and experience with the opposite sex.
Aim for slow, calculated, planned movements – like you have a plan and a place for all your body parts. Take up some space.
Weak timid body language lands way too many nice guys in the friends zone but it doesn’t have to be that way.
Recognize when and how you’re doing it and immediately work on fixing it.
You can start by reading my personal page on body language here –> Body Language IS Communication.
Hopefully it will get you headed in the right direction and help you from being disqualified because of it.
Invading her space forcibly.
Aside from the legal issues which I hope you understand – I’ve seen many nice guys who seem to position themselves just to get close to her.
On the outside it may seem important ( like breaking the touch barrier ) but more often than not it’s not done right.
Qualifying women IS a little about knowing how to play her “mating” game a little better than her – but’s it’s also about attracting better relationships by assuring you’re meant to be together.
Sometimes space is important. Sometimes you want a little tension to build first.
The whole idea is your movement from flow naturally close and far from her and if you pre-plan it, force it, or try to make it happen unnaturally it can creep women out.
Follow the body language article above so you can learn about this “space” issue.
There are a ton of other little things you might be doing which are disqualifying you…
BUT I don’t want you to get bogged down in thinking you’ll never get them all handled.
Learn what you can and to really succeed it’s more effective to recognize and acknowledge they’re happening to you.
It’s true – you might not ever be 100% but I know you can get pretty close.
Here’s a classic article which will give you a better idea and can help you eliminate most of the early disqualification typically done by us nice guys. Ten Reasons Why Men Fail With Women.
Use it as a checklist and along with this post you should see some different results.
You may notice women are starting to test you more and that’s good news because it means you’re doing so many things right she has to dig deep into her arsenal.
This post was written as an add-on to Nice Guy Tip 4 – Stop Giving Her Every Reason To Disqualify You
It’s also meant to show you that these are common mistakes which happen and if we don’t know we’re doing them – destroy attraction.
A nasty circle happens when we disqualify ourselves – we take it personal – and when we take it personal it’s easy to feel like we’re not good enough for her.
Which could NOT be further than the truth!!!
Now you or I may not be the greatest catch in the world but that’s not why we might not be “getting our fair share.”
It could easily just mean we’re destroying the attraction because we’re ( again ) disqualifying ourselves unknowingly.
Ever the smallest thing tend to creep into ALL of our interactions with women.