In order to finally break out of that friend’s zone you must learn to objectify and untangle the emotions that are tossing you there.
Think about what type of man you really want and ask yourself how you feel about those traits that attract you.
When I first begin teaching a guy on how he can attract more women we often talk about what triggers her attraction. As a women, you need to find that out for yourself and discover the emotions they create inside you.
Try this simple exercise.
Write down what traits a man has that attracts you. Separate the physical from his personality; and you must be very descriptive about what you are feeling.
Dark mysterious eyes on a gorgeous man give me goosebumps.
- When I think about meeting a man like this I get a little anxious and shy.
- When I experience anxiety it makes those around me a little nervous. When I am anxious I feel fragile. Therefore I must put up a barrier to protect me.
A charming man makes me feel happy and special. He puts me in a flirtatious mood.
- When I am in a flirty conversation I often begin to get a little reserved. But I understand how men assume I want sex with them, just because I am flirting.
The purpose of this exercise is obviously to get you in more touch with your feelings and associate with how you act on them, and then determining why you act a certain way. I’m not asking you to dig into your childhood and be your own psychologist. I am telling you to find the root of your emotions when you meet a man who interests you.
Those examples above only show a positive light so let’s now take a more negative association.
A confident man makes me feel safe and secure.
When I feel safe and secure I often will let my guard down. This means a confident jerk or at least one that becomes a jerk to me over time, easily breaks down my barriers. It allows him to reach inside of me. I don’t like being vulnerable. I want to be strong but the type of guy that has confidence can often mislead me into thinking he is a nice guy… at first.
Now it’s time to look at these feelings objectively. This will give you great insight into what makes you tick and the reason you get stuck in the friend’s zone with men you can’t resist.
When you are constantly stuck in the friend’s zone with a guy that has the dark mysterious eyes you crave it is because you create a barrier around you. No real man wants to break down a barrier. It feels obtrusive to him. A nice guy will often feel like you’ve been hurt so many times before that you are not willing to put yourself out there too far. All is understandable but still leaves you alone. So remember this,
A good man does not have to wait around for you to finally put down your barrier. I’m not talking about the barriers in which your subconscious creates but the one your conscious mind puts up. I’m not talking about instinctual testing either. Those are there to protect you and allow you to decide who would be a better mate. I’m talking about the walls that seem to exclude you from being with the guy, that only wants to be friends with you.
The two types of men that you will experience with regards to those walls are:
1) The real man. The nice guy. The attractive, mentally or physically ones. They will not, because it is a part of their personality, he won’t try to change you. He would rather let you learn on your own.
2) The jerk. The overly confident low self esteem type. His disregard for your feelings means he’s willing to destroy the walls you put up, because it allows him to control you.
If you want to attract the first type you must learn to put up strong healthy walls with many overpasses. Something that is scalable.
Think about it this way…
You’re a newly found city and your surroundings are dangerous. With that in mind you build this giant wall around that allows no one in. Now what happens when a representative from a nearby friendly city wants to start a beneficial relationship with you. Chances are he will see your city as full of recluses. He can not find a doorway and leaves. He leaves only to return occasionally in hopes someone had the sense to build a door.
Also, with a fully enclosed wall the deviants around see possibility. They see you might be hiding something valuable. And since they are deviants by nature they will appear time after time,; slowly damaging the walls until they create their own doorway to your hidden riches.
The first type of man listed above, the real man, will be your friend. He is a good guy and if you are generally a good person he probably won’t mind being your friend. But those men are highly sought out and you will have plenty of competition to get him and keep him. Because he has choices.
But don’t let that get you down. Men and women everyday find it difficult to move from a platonic friendship to a real sexual relationship. Although the tactics men and women use may differ, there is one rule that transcends both genders in getting out of the friend’s zone. And that is…
Stepping back from the situation and working positively on yourself!
Why do women end up in the friend’s zone?
I’m a man and I’m not holding back from you. I become just friends with women because I enjoy their company but I’m just not physically attracted to them. I may become more attracted to her after spending some time together. I may even find some physical features of her more appealing over time.
But the absolute truth is if I don’t feel attraction, I will only be her friend.
Women will also end up as a good friend with a man they are attracted to because he has a girlfriend, a wife, or he is gay. For these women I’m sorry to say I’m not into breaking up relationship for someone’s own personal gain. You’re on your own there. (And good luck changing a gay man to go straight. Haha!)
Another reason for being just his friend centers around his own ignorance. He just might not get it. He might not even have a clue you love him or want to date him.
Let’s face it, some people are heavily self centered and notice very little around them. These types of men usually end up with dominant women because she had to make the first move.
Three open and honest reasons why and now let’s look at the “hows”:
If he doesn’t find you physically attractive you have no choice if you want this man, is to make yourself more appealing to him. I wouldn’t suggest making yourself more attractive to one man’s preference but that choice is up to you. Take careful notice to the women you know he is attracted to. I’m sure if you’re good friends you already have a good idea.
The articles below may help:
- 10 Simple Tricks to Make You Look Thinner
- Dating Is Not Just For Beautiful People
- 5 Ways To Become Instantly More Attractive Through Lifestyle
Learn what attracts men and reintroduce yourself to him.
(I have found that men are highly attracted to cool chics or laid back women. They look for purity, or the concept of purity, and a strong nurturer for a relationship. )
- How To Understand Men Better By Using The Magic Of Intuition
- How To Use Man Speak And Why You Need To Start Thinking Like Him
- Why You Should Ditch the Rules – Dating for the Single Modern Woman
If you feel his ignorance is the reason you are just friends then you’re just going to have to do something about it. You might have to make the first move. Just do it skillfully.
If you reveal your inner feelings you put yourself out there. So be prepared to get rejected. It happens to all of us. Most likely if you are rejected it is because he does not feel attracted to you as I mentioned above.
This ignorance is not often the man’s fault. No one ever taught him how to read the signals. No one ever showed him how. You may have to dial it up before he realizes what is going on. Flipping your hair a lot, exposing your neck, flirting, or catching his eyes seductively may not ever be enough.
- Show more interest in his life.
- Ask many questions about him.
- Lightly touch him when he makes you laugh.
- Make him a romantic dinner.
- Bring up sexual topics.
- Get him to dance with you.
- Pull back from him as a friend. (In other words become less available and give him space. Let him miss you.)
Girl Gets Ring Video – More Than Friends But Less Than a Girlfriend
(I’ve included a new video I found below which contains a few helpful suggestions on becoming more than friends with a guy)
You Are In Limbo:
- You have to set boundaries.
- People get used to things.
- You have to reset the clock.
Become His Girlfriend:
- Just ask.
- Decide what you want.
- Break rapport.
While my nice guys approach helps men attract you – please check out my ADVICE FOR WOMEN ONLY! I’ll believe you’ll find it not only and helpful in understanding AND attracting a better man.
Why Does A Guy…? - If you don’t understand him, you can miss out on who he really is.