I like to think I’m perfectly sane but the truth is – I’m a little crazy. 🙂
Seriously, this “perfect” guy has problems.
Of course it’s not all that bad.
Some will lead to my demise.
Some only cause minor issues.
It’s not like I’m living on a park bench somewhere trying to figure out where my next meal is.
So it’s all in perspective.
At least I like to think it is.
I’ve been sort-of chosen to be “Mister Single.” To go from one woman to the next. To see several at a time and hopefully avoid all the drama that goes along with it.
Some call it the life because it’s a portrayed stereotype “manly” dream.
Some call it pathetic because I’ve never married or thrown my seed around irresponsibly.
The girls I meet once in a while see it as a flaw.
Probably through my actions they decide – “Yeah I’m just not feeling it with ya.”
The men I talk to occasionally see it as a “strength” or even a profound “freedom.”
They ask me how and once in a while follow my advice.
Some days I see it as a curse because I start thinking about, “Why I haven’t met the one and was I really that bad before and missed it all?” and some days it’s an amazing tool to help when “rejection” decides to show it’s ugly face.
There’s a certain advantage of keeping your options open as often as possible and dating around.
“In fact, one of the WORST measures of success is whether or not a guy has a girlfriend. Especially when you see so many bored/miserable couples out there. The Bear And The Sneakers…
Then there’s those “flawless” girls, who at least can not deal with rejection themselves, their self-esteem is so hinged on making everyone like them, they don’t know how to reject you because they’d feel bad or worse yet, someone might think bad of them… they see me as a challenge… a man they can NEVER have.
They either get real close then run away and hide – or “pretend” to hate me – or in fact do despise my every being.
The strange part is I’ve found the ones who hate me the most – tend to be the easiest to sleep with.
I suppose it’s not odd at all.
Being a “nice” guy for so long where any emotions I stirred in a woman were always everything but attractive. The kind that gets you new friends and practically no intimacy at all.
Adding a little edge, finding the balls to say what I want, going for it all, leaving options I may never choose, and quite frankly not giving a shit because as the great Dylan once quoted,
“When ya aint got nothing – you got, nothing to lose.”
My point today is honesty.
It may not be the “perfect” route.
It may not be the answer to every guy’s woman problems – hell it might not even get you exactly what you think you’re looking for, but it certainly gets attraction steadily moving in the right direction.
I’ve found when you’re flirting with a girl, lie your ass off, make up fun stories, don’t give away your life story so easily, and connect..
— Peter White (@PeterWhite125) May 11, 2013
Some of the best advice I’ve ever been told because and it works!
But when you’re faced with a real challenge, when your ideals are threatened because you’re worried what she might think of you, when you’re given the choice between “being nice” and acting like a “good boy” OR speaking honestly with her despite her reaction…
It’s best to tell it like it is from your heart.
If she, they, or in fact anyone doesn’t like it or disagrees with it enough to engage their deeper emotions – you’ll find attraction is kind of right on the edge just waiting to be tipped over to your side.
But just more than maybe she’ll respect you more even IF she thinks you’re crazy or have some “major” flaw.
And trust me on this, women don’t sleep with guys they don’t respect unless they have little or no respect for themselves.
Granted if you want to “cry, bitch and whine” about your life and consequences you’re not being honest, you’re just being or showing them you’ve given up on getting what you want because “life has it in for you.”
You don’t earn respect that way.
You certainly won’t piss her off.
Empathy in any form negates even the smallest amount of attraction. Save it for your journal and leave it there!
I see a certain strange reality about this whole attraction thing related to honesty. How it’s more attractive to you and I when we don’t fear being honest about who we are and what we believe.
It’s not a very “attractive” thing to state what I did above about myself and some of my “state of mind” ramblings but you must admit the act itself attracts one way or another.
Good or bad.
Mixed emotions or downright hatred.
We’re compelled or driven towards it.
You know that old phrase, “The truth is always stranger than fiction” ?
Well we’re all more interesting when we’re truthful…
All traits we ourselves are driven urgently towards I might add.
So if we’re not there 100% it just kind of makes us more human.