Nice Guys escape the Friend's Zone.
Do you have the balls to blow that hot girl off?
Really. Guys. Think about it. You start talking or seeing this woman. You have great conversations. You hit it off from the beginning. There’s definitely chemistry and a spark between you. But then it happens. She rarely returns your phone calls. She rarely answers her mail. Granted when she does she acts interested and into you. It’s almost like she’s knowingly or not, creating this addiction to her. She rewards you occasionally. Teases you to keep you interested. Then disappears for a while to make you wonder. WOW! Isn’t that extremely similar to what I have written to challenge women in general. The hard part about all of this is trying to figure out if she does it on purpose, if she’s just flaky, or she has so much shit going on in her life she really just does not have the time and your schedules don’t match up enough.
Image: Andy Newson / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
So how do you handle this situation?
Should you assess her situation and when determining that it is not a game, deal with it as it comes?
Should you play into her schedule and when she feels like talking or seeing you, give in and enjoy those rare times?
Should you erase her number?
Should you tell her how her flakiness is annoying you?
Should you tell her that your time is valuable and you don’t enjoy constantly trying to chase her down for a date or just a conversation on the phone?
Should you just make sure there are so many potential dates in your life she really doesn’t matter much at all in the overall scheme or direction of your life?
I must admit I have struggled with this from day one of my dating life. And I still do. I have an addictive personality when a woman begins to feed my addiction it can be very difficult to step back and objectify the situation. Yet since I have learned to do this more than ever now in my life than I have in the past, the insight I gather about myself has shown me some incredible knowledge. It was hinted to me years ago that whenever you find yourself in these kind of situations there are, in reality, only two ways you can act out of. They are:
Scarcity:
- Scarcity means you are putting too much emphasis on this one woman for her to ever really fall for you.
- Scarcity says you need her to like you.
- Scarcity says your addiction trigger is turned on by her.
- Scarcity says you will chase her.
- Scarcity says she will never chase you.
Abundance:
- Abundance means you can take her or leave her. There’s another one right around the corner just waiting for you.
- Abundance says once it occurs to you she’s not really that into you. You stop calling her and she disappears from your life.
- Abundance say you have the balls to blow her off when her convenience is not convenient for you. in other words you have the ability to say no when she interrupts your life.
- Abundance also says that you understand that just because women say they want a man to be there for her really doesn’t mean what you would expect.
It means sure, when she’s in a long-lasting relationship with, when you are both committed to each other, when you both agree to be exclusive, she wants you to be there for her.
BUT…
Unless that situation exists she does not want a man to be there for her. She want’s want she thinks she can’t have. She wants to be able to win you over from the other women in your life. She wants a man who has choices with women.
One of the biggest hurdles I have had to overcome with this issue and I can almost guarantee it is the most frequently asked question related to scarcity and abundance is,
Guess what guys. The cold truth is she may never contact you again for several reasons.
She never really was that attracted to you.
She got married, had kids, left the country, or even went to jail. So she just can not contact you.
She feels so insecure and firmly believes you didn’t like her.
Choose which reason you want to live by. I personally will take the first one. Because it says to me big deal, I never created enough attraction to compel her to do something about it. The second is an excuse. The third is strictly her problem and I don’t want a woman whose self esteem is that low anyways. But once I realize this and admit to myself she felt nothing for me, then I can honestly move on to the next. I know how this attraction works and while one woman may not feel attraction towards me, there are several others that will! Yeah it could sting a little admitting that but remember this always.
Keep moving forward. Keep learning. Keep practicing. Keep yourself busy.
Understand that grooming your appearance and appealing to women by just being meticulous about your looks, then understand that your personality will be the ultimate driving force of a healthy woman’s attraction towards you.
WARNING:
If you do have an addictive personality not only should you work on that and stop working so much on getting dates or getting laid. Because once that addictive personality is under control, more women will be naturally attracted to you. Just be warned that woman who do push those addictive buttons in your personality I have found are not really worth your time. They thrive on making guys do tricks for them. They thrive on the ability to pick and choose which one they will be seeing or talking that evening. And when that one fizzles out and doesn’t have promise, or gets boring, she moves on to the next one that will react the way she pleases.
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| Print article | This entry was posted by peter white on January 23, 2010 at 4:03 pm, and is filed under Being a Challenge, How Women Test, Inner Game, Nice guy mistakes, Understanding Women. Follow any responses to this post through RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site. |
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