We may all hate being stereotyped or categorized, but for the sake of “argument” and learning about attraction it is practically unavoidable AND it CAN lead us to better tools of attraction.
Words are just words…
Actions prove to define the role we play in our lives and the affect we have on others much more clearly.
The choices you and I make will impact those around us either positively, negatively, or some varied mix of the sort.
Some of them will also tap into the emotional side of women, her esteem, her desires, and create a blend which can be ultimately seen as attractive or not.
The “Nice Guy” although mostly positively reinforcing, rarely ever stirs instinctual feeling of pure attraction.
His actions are usually too bland or contrived to have women begging for his approval to say the least.
The “Bad Boy” taps into her desire to ride the emotional highs and lows which can have her addicted and wanting more and more until she is drained or left alone wondering where her “Bay Boy” has disappeared to once again.
The “Player” uses social tricks and plays every angle to satisfy his often “lack of real ego” and when directed towards her can make her blind to his ways.
She falls prey to his charm and although most stronger women see right through his rouse, they may in fact not resist either for casual sex without commitment or a deeper hope that just maybe, there’s something more beneath his false exterior.
The “Jerk” often unknowingly displays indifference on an ultimate level.
His actions and careless attitude often makes his heart unattainable causing some women to forever search for it. Some seeking validation from an impossible source thus proving to her without any doubt whatever she wants to believe.
We’ll get into each one a little more but for now…
Each type of man through his actions creates attraction and once you and I learn how it’s done, either through a personality “defect” or a wonderful side-effect, all we need to do is strip out the negative to have women feel more attracted to us.
We must integrate the positive pieces into our lives and inject them into our core character if we want to succeed with women on a level which will with out a doubt rise above any generalized category of men including the nice guy.
I learned how to do this by accident.
I wasn’t able to see the big picture or why it was working but the effects have been well-documented and can be implemented fully by any nice guy in a formula created by Carlos Xuma titled The Bad Boy Formula where you can find the intro video – The Secret Truth About Nice Guys
We ( Carlos and I ) do things a little differently although we seek the same results in attracting women.
Now for a little more on The Four Types Of Men:
He exhibits signs of over-confidence. He is the jealous type.
He has a short temper and it’s all too easy to bring out his anger. He demeans others.
Shows very little respect for anyone. Taken to the extreme he will disregard the law and often find himself in jail because of it.
Women who find themselves continually attracted to jerks (generally) suffer from low self-esteem.
They may also shows signs of being overly-confident themselves. Therefore they match up perfectly with the jerk.
They thrive on drama which can make their lives feel important.
They thrive on causing problems to distract themselves from living their lives with self-acceptance.
One of his traits which attract women is his indifference.
The Bad Boy:
The bad boy lives on the edge but he often won’t take you with him. In other words he shows respect for others more than he shows for himself.
I’ve known many bad boys in my life that honestly, were cool guys.
He can be tough to befriend which I believe causes some to confuse him with the jerk because if you’re not his friend chances are, he will not give two shits about you.
The women who are attracted to this type of guy constantly are often high quality, career minded, successful, models, etc…
This is because their lives have had strict guidelines and the bad boy offers an alternative and of course lots of fun and adventure.
The experiences will only last a short time so she can always go right back to living her strict life but…
She will continually think about having him for her own. She struggles getting him to commit and this gives her competitive nature the ultimate challenge.
And remember she’s succeeded and won many times in her life. So this challenge can become so overwhelming she may end up still single up to the age of forty.
He can considered the most attractive of all four and when added to a nice guy lifestyle can yield amazing results.
The player is the guy who manipulates feelings.
He’s a player so the game is always on.
I hear women talk about players all the time. I’ve found women who talk a great deal about hating this type, are players themselves without even knowing it.
The game exists to him as a marker in his life achievements as in how many women he can sleep with, how many things he can get from women.
They play the game and seek a trophy to show off or the game is lost.
The confidence or self-esteem they are seeking can never be found through their tactical outer-game or superficial achievements even though their limited beliefs may never let them see it.
The women who are attracted to players, often just use them right back. Most of the time as a one night stand.
The perceive great sex without the fear of getting too attached.
I rarely have met any type of women that can be fooled by this guy for very long. Once they are found out many women have no problem never seeing him again. (Which by the way works great in his favor.)
He will generally have attractive physical traits which gets his (ahem ahem) “foot” in the door. He greatest skill is manipulation of a woman’s emotions.
The Nice Guy:
If you’re a full-blown nice guy you may refuse to change your ways to get more women.
You’ve been friend-ed so many times in your life it often hurts just to think about it.
You fall in love easily, get hooked on one woman, and suffer the same series events over and over again.
Then you place blame on fairness and say, “it’s just who you are.”
Most nice guys will settle for what they feel is not what they were looking for.
Some may even find happiness and live a comfortable life. But I’ve found personally it’s usually a complacent life.
It becomes too easy to give in to a woman who likes them and each day it becomes harder to see anything else.
The women who are attracted to nice guys are everywhere although you might not believe it. Just like you and I they do not enjoy being treated like shit or manipulated.
Yet when a nice guy can not give her any kind of emotional shift, or can exhibit at least an average confidence with a sense of purpose or passion in their lives, they just do not feel enough of the initial attraction or sexual spark for him.
They too may settle for him but probably will end up becoming a different person to him or worse yet, cheating on him to gain that emotional high or passion in their lives they are living for.
His greatest strength is attracting women is his ability in rapport and comfort. Although usually out of order and misguided comes across as too accommodating or needy.
Gather all the jerks, bad boys, and players into a group and I can guarantee they’ve slept with or dated a large proportion of the female population.
Compare that to such a small amount of nice guys who are getting what they want and it’s easy to see who is getting the larger share of women. And not just the 8, 9, and 10’s.
But let’s not get too discouraged here there is a big reason why this is true and once you begin to understand how it all works you’ll find you can use this invaluable information to get the women you want… and still be that nice guy.
Cool. Stay with me here because…
- Jerks act like jerks because it is who they are. Their false confidence can never fully protect their self-esteem so they unwittingly will try to steal yours.
- Bad Boys are rebels, deviants, and such because it is who they are. The can live with integrity and self-acceptance but often lack when it comes to living life purposely.
- Players choose to be players and are searching for something in the wrong place. As I stated earlier they never achieve inner completeness by using outer-game tactics.
In each of those cases the underlying attractive emotion these men create is just that, an emotion which stirs frustration, mystery, excitement, a small amount of the fear of loss.
The nice guy often fails to stir those emotions and then tries to appeal to her logical side. Which is where he typically fails.
He wants her to figure out if she likes him and unfortunately for him she can not arbitrarily decide her emotions or feelings of attraction. She can only decide to act on them.
You CAN learn to attract others without games, tricks, or lies, using the same “techniques” the others use, and not in a negative way.
Never direct it towards any one woman in particular.
It is about developing yourself into someone who knows who they are, and then builds on it indefinitely.
By doing that you’ll have more to give in a relationship and you will effectively develop a more natural approach to attraction.
Remember this as I’ve learned from my own experience…
- You do not have to become the jerk whose disrespect is perceived as indifference.
- You do not have to become the bad boy whose rebellious lifestyle is perceived as pure passion.
- You do not have to become the player whose manicured and manipulative tactics are viewed as having experience.
As a nice guy you DO have to add on to yourself AND start doing something different… as in my Nice Guys Approach To Attraction.