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There Are No Friends With Benefits, Alpha Men Don’t Sleep With Friends

in Dating
Are these friends with benefits? Who is sleeping with who?

More Hollywood trash catering to the needs of who?

Men – Yeah like we’re going to pay to watch a movie about a just friends couple who decide to start doing it.

Women – I have yet to meet a completely satisfied woman being the friend offering her benefits.

Dating couples – Okay. If there’s a guy out there who decides to take his date to this movie. I’m sorry man. I am really, really sorry.

Main stream Hollywood seems to get an idea in their head that they know relationships. That they know people. That they know how to make a man believe he can have his cake and eat her too. Yes I meant “eat her” too.

But I don’t think they really have a clue anymore what a movie is and pumping us full of their “Friends With Benefits” kick proves it.

FWB – Is when two friends for one reason or another start doing it.

Usually it happens when they’re too busy to give full attention to a relationship or when those same two people refuse to engage in one night stands or have no idea what casual sex is or how to get it.

Typically the women who is the beneficial friend wants the man but the guy has found a loop-hole in her personality and manages to “get some” without having to commit. It’s often a muddled area and a powder keg of problems in the future.

The feelings I associate with this up and coming summer blockbuster  ( Haha! Couldn’t say that with a straight face ) is disgust and disappointment.

It not only makes me lose even more respect for the flailing “mainstream” movie making but I get sick to my stomach thinking about the unfortunate men and women who rely on trash like this to offer them false hope.

I’m a firm believer we watch movies to entertain us, which is fine, but all too often we’re looking for perspectives. Entertainment or not, great movies make us think and the best movies have us walking away just a little different.

The friends with benefits concept is the nice guy’s pipe dream and the nice girl’s hope to relieve sexual frustration.

Again I have yet to meet one woman who in the long-term enjoys being the beneficial friend and I have yet to meet one nice guy who struggles with women that has not dreamed of turning his close girlfriend into a sexual relationship.

And it’s movies like this that will undoubtedly de-motivate them into getting the necessary work done.

I remember watching movies where the nice guy gets the girl in the end and they ride off into the sunset.

As cheesy as they were at least they had something going for them. They followed a format which works:

  • Geeky boy decides he is fed up with being lonely.
  • A man, woman, or even a “Angel” as I recall in one instance, revamps his asexual look.
  • Next comes the de-neutering. This is where the boy is quickly taught how to act like a real Alpha Male..
  • In his next stage the geek boy ‘gets him some.‘ It’s usually not what he wanted  and it goes straight to his head. He ends up taking it to the extreme of the masculine spectrum and becomes the bad boy or jerk. Which attracts the so-called easier women.
  • Except the woman he wanted ends up hating him and so the friendship falls apart. Maybe he ends up sleeping with her friend. Maybe he ends up hurting her by revealing a secret they promised not to tell. Maybe he ends up dating another woman who just wants to control him. It’s all the same anyways.
  • The final stage is where the nerd realizes he does not like who he has become and ends up back to his old neutered ways. Typically this leaves him more alone than he was in the first place. It’s at this point he realizes he never got what he really wanted.
  • He learns the hard way a major overhaul of his looks and personality adjustment came with a price his inner game could not afford.
  • He then mends his broken relationship for a somewhat happy ending. The woman he set out to get starts to see him as more than a friend and in the case of one movie, rides off into the sunset on a lawnmower while “Can’t Buy Me love” is played in the background.

Now that’s motivation and not false hope. Even the realism behind “The Last American Virgin” holds some merit and justifies to us all real relationships and not the bullshit of “Friend With Benefits.

That format works in movie making because of defined character development.

The format works in real life because…

When our character development is not kept in check by solid decision-making and clear thinking we become someone we don’t like. Forcing us to go back to square one.

This time our experience teaches us the often humbling reality women are not just friends waiting to give away their benefit. They are not some object to admire from afar. They are living breathing emotional people looking for the same happiness and comfort of a long-term relationship as the nerds in these movies represent.

I DO NOT believe in having  friends with benefits. But I DO believe in casual sex.

Real men understand this.

Real women will agree.

When you add sex to a friendship without a clearly defined relationship the only one who benefits are the condom producers and in some cases, the sex therapists.

Casual sex or even some one night stands are relationships defined by sexual behavior. The stronger the two  are the more clearly defined the line becomes.

Friends with Benefits are relationships with no definition. You’re either friends or you’re dating and enjoying sex.

I hate to imagine how another movie like this might actually lower the masculinity of a young man watching it privately.

Thinking there is a chance.

Thinking he should waste his time on another friend who just wants to be friends.

I hate to imagine the woman watching it thinking her guy friend might finally see her in a sexual role.

There are no false hopes in my Nice Guy’s Approach to Attraction & Dating.

Sure I want to entertain you.

Sure I aim to offer a new perspective and possibly changes your views on how relationships begin.

But first and foremost I want you to clearly understand my views on this subject…

There are NO friends with benefits in “My Nice Guy’s Approach To Attraction”  and once you decide to cross that line you’re going to lose more than just a friend.

You’re going to lose your defined role as a masculine man because real Alpha Men do not sleep with their friends.

They have no need to because they have choices in their dating life.

Done right and even when following the clear steps of character development defined in “real movies” you’ll experience for yourself the difference between casual sex and Friends With Benefits.

And you’ll experience for a lifetime what it really means to be Alpha.

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2 comments… add one
  • Shoshannah

    Interesting. I wonder what you would say about affairs, lovers etc. When both sides are in committed relationships, but have their extra relationships. Often they are thought of as a kind of FWB. You like your lover, you might be friends with her or him and you have sex, but you don’t really consider committing, because of circumstances or because of thousands of other reasons. But what you wrote above is against the idea of FWB.

    So what would you say about lovers?

    • I’m not privy to ALL circumstances especially outside the social values I live in and around BUT I don’t support cheating.

      IF you’re committed to someone and can not keep that commitment, then you’re not really in a relationship. You can call it whatever you want.

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