Ever wonder how to be cool or how cool people tend to be seen or assumed to be more attractive?
How some people will do anything and everything to gain the “icy status” just so others will look up to them?
Thinking about it myself I realized I have never actually sat around thinking about whether I was cool or not.
I did what I wanted, when I wanted. Sure I was a victim to some fads or trends as a young child but that was when I didn’t have a choice.
Like was I cool when my Mom was dressing me? Probably only in her eyes. 🙂
Am I cool now?
Well I suppose that remains in the status of the person who is looking at me, doesn’t it?
If you feel below me in status then it might seem most of what I do, is kind of cool.
But am I really one of those guys others just assume or believe, is kind of a cool guy to know despite our relationship of status?
How about when I stare at a gorgeous moon on a clear night and think to myself, “That is so cool.”
Or when a friend of mine makes of fool of herself and comes to me, we both laugh and exclaim, “That was so cool!!!”
Then again maybe that’s just the words we use today. The language of our time.
Put in another context the word cool takes on an entirely different meaning…
There are groups of people in every generation that are said to never be cool.
They include parents, teachers, retired people, most politicians, and some unnamed others my mind’s probably missing right now.
We can then expect…
No matter who we are or what we do, at some point in our lives there’s going to be another “group” which will see us as not being cool.
It’s an inevitable part of life.
Apparently “cool” has many facets and contexts.
But what is it about “Being Cool” that make us more attractive and exactly how and why does it happen?
Well emotions are catchy.
People react to each others subtle body language and even to the words being used emotionally.
Unconscious language or outright spoken a cooler person without a doubt affect the people around them usually in a positive way.
Women feel comfortable and somewhat challenged around a cooler man. The ease in which he performs his life quiets her, excites her, and even makes her want to be like him which explains a piece of the challenge.
Guys want a “cooler” girlfriend.
They will, when given the choice, choose the slightly less attractive cool one over the hot woman who uses her status negatively or is just considered a bitch.
They do so because of the way she makes him feel. The “bitch” creates drama and stirs bad emotions. The “cooler” girl brings laughter and throws aside the negative associations of self-conscious acts.
The “cool couple” are fun to be around.
They enjoy certain advantages to shows and private affairs because of the friends they keep. They never over stay their welcome and they always have some interesting stories to tell.
Man, woman, or couple, back to the emotional charm which seems to rub off on those around them it’s easy to see and understanding how being cool not only makes the individual attractive in his own right, just hanging out with cool people kind of makes us cool too.
Do you believe you are cool or would I think you were cool if I met you?
Here are a few questions I’ve devised to help you decide if you’re cool enough.
They’re not perfect but they can give you a better concept of what being cool is which may transcend any fad or trend or even being part of the generational “un-cool” group.
- Do you have measurably but modest “real” confidence?
- Is your self-esteem strong enough to live consciously through acceptance and positive living without down playing those around you or using others to measure your own success?
- Are you indifferent to how you appear at some time or another to those around you?
- Do you live in the present more than the past or future?
- Are you fearless in a healthy way or better put, not afraid to fail? Are you willing to try new things, ideas, and concepts?
- Are you less concerned about what happens next and enjoy the process more than the result?
I believe if you can answer those questions with at least a modest “YES” then you can consider yourself to be a cool person.
If we take those same questions and relate them to your “attractiveness” then it only makes sense that “being cool” makes attraction happen naturally.
Cool people attract others because they are in generally considered to have real confidence. They don’t flaunt it or use it to put others down making those around them feel more confident.
Just being around a person with real confidence and when not taken as a measure of our self-worth makes us more confident in ourselves.
Maybe not what we’re doing but definitely what we can achieve.
Cool (attractive) people are mostly in a state of mind where anxiousness rarely exists.
Their energy is seemingly unbound because it doesn’t waver from extreme to extreme.
In that state of mind others will tend to feel more comfortable, maybe happier, but definitely safer to be themselves without fear of being chastised or put down.
They don’t prey on the so-called weak.
Their energy tends to thrive more off of your strong points rather than an attempt to steal it through passive judgement and unfair comparisons.
Whereas being “fearless” can be measured in so many ways, how many of us are guilty of following the first person who jumps off the plane, or into the cold water, or walks across a crowded room to introduce themselves to a total stranger in direct view of the public.
Their fearless attitude is what makes a leader and leaders, good or bad, tend to be consider more attractive than their followers.
When the “attraction” created is strong enough to break down social barriers it is almost always done by the coolest people who lead others to break down the walls which are separating us.
They are consider the true leaders of the world.
Here’s a weird example.
Consider a freshman girl in college who finds herself falling for a very cool forty-year old professor. Some women will ignore or downplay all social standards just to date him or at least imagine a relationship could happen.
Sure you can go the father figure way and I’m sure it’s there somewhere but how many hot young women do you see falling for the “not so cool” professor just because she’s seeking a father figure to sleep with?
It doesn’t happen because the attraction she feels which compels her to act, comes from those questions above:
He has confidence in what he teaches and how he teaches it and inspire confidence in his students.
His high self-esteem allows him to teach others successfully without judging them. Just because you’re a student doesn’t mean you’re a dumb ass. Most of the time. 😀
His indifference says he doesn’t care whether anyone passes his class or not. He understand he’s NOT there to lead or live your life.
He understands “your” choices are entirely up to you and no matter what they are, you’ll find your way so he allows you to make certain mistakes to help you learn.
His fearless attitude is proven day after day when, speaking in public, professing his beliefs, and has a lasting career which probably took him a decade to achieve.
Fearless of the outcome he kept moving toward his goals despite what was happening around him.
Study the questions above.
Answer them honestly and from your heart.
When you study them objectively and follow them or put them in practice in your life, you WILL become a more attractive person… naturally.
Use them as your life changes to stay on track.
Use them to NOT take everything so seriously.
Use them to turn yourself into a “cooler” person above and beyond just following the variable cool generational trends and fads which change often.
Your perception of the world should change for the better because you will be changing it from the inside out.
You will then hopefully begin to notice the same as I have….
- When you are truly confident you can lead others competently and others WILL follow you.
- When you have high self-esteem you can help others more effectively and others will happily want to learn from you.
- When you are indifferent to outcomes you will be less anxious, more free to live consciously, more fun to be around, and others will gladly smile with you because it makes them feel good too.
- When you live life fearlessly, others will feel safe around you. They will follow your lead. They may even want to be like you. When others feel safe with you they will also open up more around you.
Women are drawn to the modest cool guy no matter what he does or how much he makes or even how physically attractive he is because he has more to give and has the unique ability to lead himself and the relationships he enters.
All of what I’ve shown today can make you that cool guy and therefore can increase your natural ability to create attraction without even trying.
It just becomes a part of who you are.
Being cool is a state of mind.
A way of living life more consciously and affecting those around you with a positive energy that doesn’t shrink or overbear onto others from moment to moment.
Being cool like I’ve shown you today can and WILL help all aspects of your life.
You might not like what I’ve suggested today.
You might find it a bit difficult to achieve easily. After all what’s been covered is sort of covered in the “book of life, love, and happiness”, right?
Well for those of you who want a “faster path”, perhaps even a difference of opinion, or just some really cool tactics you can start using today which will make you a cooler guy and therefore become more popular with women and attract them too.
Scot McKay understood that when he got sick of all the sales guys from his old engineering job getting what he thought he deserved… ( popularity, respect, money and yes women too ) so he wrote this to help us all out. The Engineer’s Guide to Being Cooler than the Sales Guy. “How To Be Cool. Become Popular With Women and gain respect from your peers.”