The Truth Behind Her Words

H ere is a quote I stole from an anonymous woman’s profile. Read it closely.

I always wondered how pretty girls end up with ugly boys
and pretty boys with ugly girls.
(Like how my cute boyfriend wants some fugly chick like me)
I think love is stupid. But im crazy about him.

What does she really mean or what do I think she means?

What I see here is a woman with low self-esteem about her looks. A woman with lower status than her boyfriend. That is probably how he attracted her in the first place. But what I feel she is really saying is,

“I’m not good enough for someone to love me therefore I don’t believe in love. But I believe in lust and the feelings of wanting to be with someone.”

The truth behind her words are clearly insightful to learning about what attraction is really all about…

• And it’s not about love.
• It’s not about a long-lasting relationship.
• It’s not about a fulfilling marriage and the making of a healthy family life.

Nope. Not at all.

Attraction is a gut feeling in which no man or woman has control over.

Too many nice guys think attraction is about love and romance. And it’s not. Love is something that builds over time with trust in a healthy relationship. Love is what drives some men to give up their lives for their wife and children. Love is a building of feelings between family members that truly care about each others wellness. Once as a nice guy we begin to see that, suddenly our views switch instantly towards attracting a woman first, and love and romance later.

Secondly we must understand that most people, men and women, don’t  really understand how attraction works, and most will never care to know either. In fact to some women it’s like going straight to the end of a mystery novel. It ruins the moment. It ruins the unpredictability of the situation. For some men it’s a blatant distraction from the truth. They would rather believe their failures of attraction are  because of their looks and money, and so refuse to change their beliefs. They just don’t want to be proved wrong.

Have you ever heard of validation?

To me validation is when we believe something to be true and then we seek out for someone else, to validate it for us. They make it a fact. Thus our beliefs are constantly being reassured they are correct

Let’s take this man I know of. He’s miserable. He hates the world and feels it has treated him unfairly. So everywhere he goes he pushes and prods the people around in order to get them to act they he wants. If he doesn’t find the person quickly he gets frustrated, upset, and will typically act childish. Most of the time though, since he is quite good at doing this, he will push the right buttons to make people react to him the way he sees the world. Thus validating his belief that the worlds treats him unfairly and is full of idiots.

And how is all this related to the truth behind her words?

Well believe it or not this woman has set herself up for what looks to be a failed relationship. Judged by those few statements she will continually look for her boyfriend to validate her looks. If she doesn’t feel attractive and yet he is attracted to her, she will test the hell out the situation until her beliefs are proven.

Sooner or later her lack of believing in love will have him question her true feelings towards him. And as the situations arise (whatever they may be) that  causes the breakup, she will most likely blame it on the fact that she is ugly and he found someone else more attractive.

Thus validating her beliefs. She feels right. And it feels so good to be right. It actually feels better to be right about something that is wrong, than it is to have your own belief system shattered. It’s feels better to be right about your own unattractiveness than it is to feel attractive and have others find you unattractive.

The truth behind those few small sentences can certainly teach us nice guys, and you nice woman too.. how much our belief system not only affects how we act, but who we attract, how we handle those attractions, and the development of our relationships.

When a nice person believes that just being nice or not feeling attractive is stopping them from dating “success” they will prove themselves right. Because I said earlier it feels better to prove themselves right than it is to have someone prove you wrong, thus shattering you belief system. This applies particularly to so much advice given on attracting others. I feel it is the biggest reason everyone does go learn this stuff.

You see I can’t understand how people won’t spend a little time learning all this wonderful exciting material, when it directly affects their relationships, their sex life, and their overall happiness in life.

Do me a favor everyone, prove me wrong. Shatter my belief and show me everyone does want to learn the truth about attraction but you’re worried someone might find out what you’re doing. Prove me wrong, earth the truth behind her words, the behind his attitude, the truth behind attraction and hard truth that if this stuff was not real our species would’ve died out a long time ago.

I want to talk more about this subject . Consider this just the beginning. This kind of thinking and talking excites me and fuels my mind to continue forward. To know that each I step I have taken leads to a wonderfully new experience. A wonderful concept of thinking which in the end, allows those beliefs I hold which may be wrong, to rid themselves from my life completely.

Any more truths behind her, or your words, let me know.

Tagged as: advice, Attraction, Belief, believe, feels, her words, it's, love, nice, right, romance, self esteem, truth, Woman