Here is a quote I stole from an anonymous woman’s profile. For some reason it got to me so let’s see if we can figure out the “real truth” behind her words.
I always wondered how pretty girls end up with ugly boys and pretty boys with ugly girls. ( Like how my cute boyfriend wants some fugly chick like me ) I think love is stupid. But im crazy about him.
What I see here is a woman with low self-esteem about her looks…. Obviously. A woman with lower status than her boyfriend. ( That is probably how he attracted her in the first place. )
BUT what I feel she is really saying is,
“I’m not good enough for someone to love me therefore I don’t believe in love.. BUT I believe in lust and the feelings of wanting to be with someone.”
The truth behind her words are clearly insightful to learning about what attraction is really all about…
- And it’s not about love.
- It’s NOT about a long-lasting relationship.
- It’s NOT about a fulfilling marriage and a healthy family life.
Nope. Not at all.
Attraction is a gut feeling in which no man or woman has control over.
Too many nice guys think attraction is about love and romance and that’s just not the case.
Love is something that builds over time with trust in a healthy relationship.
Love is what drives some men to give up their lives and sometimes freedom for their wife and children.
Love is a building of feelings between family members that truly care about each others wellness.
Once, as nice guys we begin to see that, suddenly our views switch instantly towards attracting a woman first, and love and romance later.
Secondly we must understand that most people, men and women, don’t really understand how attraction works, and most will never care to know either.
In fact to some women it’s like going straight to the end of a mystery novel. It ruins the moment. It ruins the unpredictability of the situation.
For some men it’s a blatant distraction from the truth.
They would rather believe their failures of attraction are because of their looks and money, and so refuse to change their beliefs because they just don’t want to be proved wrong.
Have you ever heard of validation?
Validation is when we believe something to be true and then we seek out for someone else, to validate it for us. They make it a fact. Thus our beliefs are constantly being reassured they are correct.
Let’s take this man I know. He’s miserable. He hates the world and feels it has treated him unfairly. So everywhere he goes he pushes and prods people in order to get them to act the way he wants.
If he doesn’t find the person quickly he gets frustrated, upset, and will typically act childish. Most of the time though, since he is quite good at doing this, he will push the right buttons and people will almost always react exactly how he sees the world.
Thus validating his belief that the world treats him unfairly and is full of idiots.
That innocent anonymous profile the woman wrote on some social “picture rating” site, in my eyes, MY interpretation tells me she has set herself up for what looks to be a failed relationship.
Judged by those few statements she will continually look for her boyfriend to validate her looks. If she doesn’t feel attractive and yet he is attracted to her, she will test the hell out the situation until her beliefs are proven.
Sooner or later her lack of believing in love will have him question her true feelings towards him and as the situations arise (whatever they may be) that causes the breakup, she will most likely blame it on the fact that she is ugly and he found someone else more attractive.
Thus validating her beliefs. She feels right and it feels good to be right.
It actually feels better to be right about something that is wrong, than it is to have your own belief system shattered.
It’s feels better to be right about your own unattractive self than it is to feel attractive and have others find you unattractive.
The truth behind those few small sentences can certainly teach us nice guys how much our belief system not only affects how we act, but who we attract, how we handle those attractions, and the development of our relationships.
When a nice person believes that just being nice or not feeling attractive is stopping them from dating “success” they will prove themselves right because as I said earlier, it feels better to prove themselves right than it is to have someone else prove you wrong and shattering your belief system.
This applies particularly to so much advice given on attracting others. I feel it is the biggest reason everyone does not decide learn this stuff or how attraction really works.
You see personally, I never understood how people won’t spend a little time learning all this wonderfully exciting material when it directly affects their relationships, their sex life, and their overall happiness in life.
Do me a favor please…
PROVE ME WRONG!
Shatter my sometimes shallow belief system and show me everyone DOES want to learn the truth about attraction.
Who knows, maybe you’re worried some girl might find out what you’re doing and call you out on it.
Maybe you’re worried the truth behind YOUR words will only lead to some form of validation seeking agenda and then you’ll have to find a new way or a new belief.
Those simple truth behind her words may only be my “interpretation” or you may even see it as a judgement against her, and I’m okay with that too because it made me think, made me wonder, not necessarily about her, but my beliefs too.
And to me that’s a good thing.