Which Pickup Line Will Work For You?

Pickup lines, openers, conversation starters, ice breakers…call them whatever you want but haven’t you always wondered which line will work for you?

In dating, men are usually expected to start the conversation with a woman. This requires approach and sometimes a canned phrase to get her talking.

I know for some of you the feeling of just knowing what to say, could ease your nervousness. For others whose fear of approaching  is so great you think,

“If I just had that one line I know would work I could learn to get over my fear of  picking up women”.

And as a Nice Guy I was  dead set against using pickup lines so I refused to even try. I’ve listed the reasons below:

• I don’t like the idea of picking up women.

• Pickup lines just don’t feel natural.

• Only players use canned routines to play women.

In reality I just didn’t know what to say and when it comes to most men, this is what I hear the most.

Think about it.

How many times have we let a woman we were attracted to pass us by because our minds drew a blank? We just stood there with this dumbfounded look on our face?

How many potential girlfriends do you think passed us up because we were left speechless?

This means each and every opportunity we did not take advantage of, can be considered a failure.  And ouch, that fucking hurts hard when I think about it!

But the past is the past. Let’s focus on the now and figure out exactly, which pickup line will work for us. Let’s discover which line will work, for you………..

The pickup line will almost always contain these variables. They are listed in order of importance:

Situation. Expression. Inflection. Timing. Intention. Content .

Situation – Where you are and what is happening around you.

Expression – Your body language.

Inflection – How you speak your line.

Timing – When to deliver the line.

Content – The actual words.

Notice how content is lasted last. There is a good reason for this. Most of the time you’ll find it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it, your surroundings and the moment you speak.

When selecting the right line(s) for you all those factors must be considered.

Here is what I’ve been taught. It’s the basics I’ve learned from David DeAngelo’s Newsletter. (At a later time I purchased his Approaching Women and Starting Conversation Ebook and through that, I learned a much more detailed approach.)

Write down some common situations in which you find yourself in. Particularly those where you find yourself speechless. Now write down some conversation starters which include your surroundings.

A parking lot in the middle of the afternoon. They are always windy and you notice people are in such a hurry to get to their vehicles. Also approaching a woman in the parking lot brings up some issues for lots of men because they are usually afraid that she will be fearful in this kind of situation. To counteract that your:

• Expression must be natural and friendly. Smile gently. And a relaxed energy.
• Your inflections should be curious, a charming tonality to your voice.
• You would think the timing takes care of itself here but if you are too far away, you will have to yell or motion with your hands, which is generally not something you want to do to create a relaxed energy. if you get too close too quickly she will freak her out.
• The line should be delivered in passing and it must contain very little content. She is either going to her car, therefore in a hurry, or arriving at her destination, which makes her anxious to enjoy it.
• You intention should be to start a short conversation with the goal of getting a quick email or number.

On to the CONTENT:

(cars, wind, destination, walking, signs, etc…)

“Excuse me, have you seen my car? I could’ve sworn I parked it here?”

“You’re late. They closed down an hour ago.”

“Where are you going so quickly?”

I know these are basic but remember your have a time limit with women in a parking lot. Keep it short. End it with,

“Let’s continue this conversation at another time. Take my number, give me yours and we’ll catch up later.”

How can tell if the pickup lines you come up with will work for you?

They need to be consistent with who you are, or who you want to be. Then you must practice them on women. Go back and write down some changes based on the response you got from her.

(Keep in mind some women won’t respond at all so make sure you use the line on several women to gage it’s effectiveness.)

I can not emphasize this congruency between the line and you. I’m a cocky funny guy with built in sarcasm and a flare for the extreme. I’ve always been that way so these types of lines work well for me. They might not for you.

You’re still going to have to impact her and create attraction through your personality.

The pickup line that will work best for you are the ones which lead into a conversation naturally. They are open ended and display your greatest asset, your confident personality. Always continue to work on that part of you or no phrase will ever come off as attractive.

Here are a couple extras you can use when picking up women:

• Go ahead and use a totally overused line but make sure it is a joke. A lead into your funny confident personality.

• A woman assumes if you approach with a line, canned or not, you are interested in her. Don’t try to hide it. Don’t compliment her continually but let her know, subtlety, that you are giving her a chance to get to know you.

• If you must, pretend she is not attractive at all. Don’t let her looks lead you in any way. They are not important. You want her to qualify herself to you, with her personality.

• When you first see her and want to approach, take a second to realize the first thing that attracted you to her, and don’t mention it at all! Trust me, it is what every other guy has said to her. (Incidentally you can practice this by going to a picture rating site like bangme.net. Don’t look at the comments other men leave on her pictures. Just look at one picture at a time. Remember what you thought of, then scroll down.  I bet someone already said it.)

• Know your attractive personality, inside and out. Saying, “Hey…buy me a drink.” Won’t work unless you’ve mastered the cocky/ funny guy, and that actually is you.

Please take the time, whether you are a man or a woman, to add some helpful suggestions in the comment box below. I would love to hear some responses.

Until then have fun with it and take a few minutes of your day to come up with some great dialog to use. The more you do, the more you will find the words come easier and easier. This kind of training is no different than any other skill you learn which you will have learn to use instinctively.

If after all this you feel you just don’t have the confidence to talk to women or you just can’t figure out how to create attraction quickly, consider the resources and products below.

Tagged as: Communication, conversation, expression, intention, lines, meeting, opener, picking up, pickup, situation, timing