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Two Big Reasons Why, As A Woman, You End Up In His Friends Zone

in For Women
Depressed because you’re in the friends zone?

This question about women who end in the friends zone can be complicated but I’m not so sure it has to be.

My point is view is this:

I will ONLY ever want a friendship IF I’m NOT feeling attracted to you.

I will put you in the friends zone if I am attracted to you BUT I have other choices and when we met you just didn’t seem to be at all interested in me OR you were actually dating another guy.

It would be easy to tell you about “deal-breakers” and awful personalities or you’re a complete drama-fest OR you have self-esteem issues but the more I thought about it, the more I concluded that…

We wouldn’t BE good friends if “deal-breakers” was the real problem. We might become casual acquaintances or see each other once in a while but it’s doubtful we’d end up hanging out or doing things together.

Semantics maybe, but for me ( and I’m sure for lots of other guys too ) we do NOT take becoming friends with women lightly. Something had to happen to draw us together such as liking the same things or finding ourselves talking deep into the night about our current views of the our world.

Then, in that case, what you saw a a real connection with possibly more… WE only felt kinship or someone who listens and believes in a lot of the things we do.

As a true “friendship” develops and you begin to feel more attracted, it just wasn’t happening for us.

Mostly for men… our attraction to a woman can be instantaneous. It happens in a flash.

We’re not thinking about it. We’re not deciding it. We’re not contemplating parts of your body and whether or not we’d be okay with them.


It just happens.

This is something I call “first stage attraction.”

So…. what goes for men: Why Are You In The Friends Zone? She Felt No Attraction For You also appears to be the absolute truth for you too.

Our first stage attraction is probably the most important thing to learn about men IF you want more choices OR…

If you finding yourself in the friends zone a lot OR…

Right now as you read this, that guy you’re friends with, who seems to hijack your mind, the one you can’t stop thinking about, who you can’t figure out whether he actually like you or not and it’s making your life complicated and LONG…

Do anything and everything you can to learn what really turns on men. What our real quick desires are and then apply them to your life. These are not strategies or tricks either…

Just better ways to present YOURSELF to the world of men so they’ll be more likely to feel an instant attraction to YOU.

So all bullshit aside…

The number 1 reason you end up in a guys friends zone is because he did not feel instantly attracted to you.

Okay. On the surface it sounds like you have no control over that for the same reasons I felt no woman would ever feel attracted to me, because I didn’t feel attractive.

Once I changed how I felt about myself AND it was validated I began to actually believe I WAS attractive and then a strange thing happened… other people kind of just assumed it.

Although validation can be argued let’s face it, no matter how great we feel about ourselves it doesn’t mean much if others aren’t there to prove it.

The levels at which that happens seems to be more important when we cross the lines to constantly looking for approval or doing everything just to feel validated which in turn makes us appear less attractive and is considered a “second stage attraction” thing for guys.


You meet this incredible guy. The meeting goes well so you offer your phone number and he accepts it. You’ve put him on a pedestal and naturally assume he’s going to be a real challenge.

Suddenly random thoughts begin to appear in your head and you start questioning YOUR every move against his every action.

Now you find yourself acting more out of fear and very little from the confident stance you felt just before you met him.

You stumble your words. You won’t let the conversation go stale so you eagerly break into asking him question after question about anything and everything. You manage to squeak out a joke or two by busting his ass and he laughs giving it right back to you.

Each time you feel his hand push slightly against your body. The clothes you are wearing rub up against your skin and your heart beats a little quicker. A slight warm chill runs from your toes to the top of your head and down again to your fingertips.

This wonderful meeting must end at some point. You know if he asks you to go somewhere that evening you will accept but he doesn’t and you leave hinting, “call me” along with a smile.

But he never does!!!

The next time you see him he is “priming” up another girl and you find out from a mutual friend that he left with her. Your heart sinks.

You’re pissed and at the same time, a little jealous.

You feel your self-esteem was just hammered but you pick yourself up and try to act like you don’t care.

That man above most likely knows, naturally, played or not, the steps behind meeting women and building a quick sexual relationship with them and IF he felt attracted to you, you’re NOT in his friends zone… you’re in his “let’s date and see what happens” zone.

But guess what?

Out of every man I have met in my life I would have to say only 1 to 10 out of a 100 can successfully do what that man did. What that means to you is your defenses, depending on your ability, actually can stop those other 90 to 99 men from ever getting close to you.

The truth is, those other men did NOT put you in the friends zone.

They just missed their chance which can be mostly their fault but I’ve found…

If you find yourself lingering, waiting, hoping, and at some point your fears stopped you from doing something at a pivotal time when it felt right…

He’s going to miss the point and believe HE had no chance with you anyways.

You’re actually NOT in his friends zone, he’s friends with you because he likes you, did like you, felt attracted to you BUT HE FAILED to ACT.

It’s clearly HIS responsibility to act but in a way it’s YUOR responsibility to make it easier on him to escalate with you physically.

I’m NOT saying to make yourself an easier lay.

I’m saying…

The number 2 reason you end up in the friends zone with certain men is because you didn’t believe in yourself enough at a critical step in your interaction with him.

Defenses are good but if you constantly play “keep away” because you don’t believe in yourself then you are NOT making it easy for guys to make their move.

All your fears, your doubts, your questions, your indecisiveness on how any one man might feel about you are often transferred to the guys you’re closest to, and the guys who might not be “so good” with women appear to feel it the most as YOU not wanting HIM.

When you meet a man who you feel has the characteristics you want in a man AND you feel attracted to him… Learn to skillfully guide him without leading on to him that’s what you’re doing or otherwise you could emasculate him making the problem much worse, because instead of being stuck in the friends zone with some guy, you’ll be dating a guy who actually chose to take a feminine role in the relationship.

The misfortunes which come with reason two is you find yourself constantly falling for men who just don’t get it and who don’t know how to get what they want, when it comes to women and relationships specifically.

My Nice Guy’s Approach to Attraction is for men but if you have a question about men yu want answers I’ve developed this just for you…Why Do Guys…? ” If you don’t understand him, you could miss out on who he really is.”

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12 comments… add one
  • maisy

    Hi Pete, it’s been a while 😉 Dating’s been great and I found out the key is being able to be happy with oneself and just being able to master the art of being happy. That’s a a hard one! – well, it seemed at first, until I was presented with a gift recently by a friend. She bought a DVD titled “The Secret” 😉 at first i thought it was some religious stuff, so didn’t really take time to watch it, until a week ago (when i was bored) ;-)…since then i was (and am still) amazed ! Quantum Phycists, writers and successful people are the main commentators and the story line? well, we are energy beings and no-one can sing our song, dance our dance, or write our story …in summary “The Law of Attraction” and the creative process…i read your emails and articles and i watch the documentary (17 times already in a span of 3 days) and it all makes sense. Most times we know what we want, but we fail to realise, we also need to be happy, and if don’t get the guy/or girl we SO desire, we need to get out and make ourselves happy, somehow – i don’t care- and release as much positive vibes and energy and what you want gets attracted to the positive energy – i sound weird eh? but you know what, it’s changed my life. I have never been a happier person. And that’s the best thing that has happened to me…;-) gotta run, talk to you all later

    • Great to hear from you again Maisy. 🙂 I’m happy to know things are going great for you.

      I do not think you sound weird at all.

      Thanks again for stopping by and sharing your happiness with me and my readers. Your positive attractive energy you are now emitting is working on me once again. 🙂

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