A friend of mine just texted me telling me she had been baking in the sun all day. Stuck in the middle of nowhere in a broken down truck. She also didn’t fail to mention how great of a person she is, yeah she’s a bit cocky, but this time it was because she hasn’t bitched at all. All day!
She explains to me it was because she really likes this guy and doesn’t care whether the truck gets fixed or not. It’s allowing them to spend all this time together and she can’t get enough of him.
I used to go through a time where I was so concerned with pleasing women, and not pissing them off, I would embarrass inside a little every time something drastically went wrong. It felt like I was ruining any chance I had of being with them. I always wanted to make sure I said the right thing and not upset her in any way. Every now and then we would come in contact with some guy that would continually bust her ass, sometimes even rudely. I would be so quick to defend her, and I was trying to set myself apart from him on that nice level.
But that defensive mood I put myself in was always followed by mild depression from a broken heart.
And why’s that?
Because those same women seemed to always end up with the guy I felt she needed defending from.
Women want to feel something from a guy. Good or bad. They thrive on feelings. Then they thrive on explaining those feelings to others. Whether or not they do it just to get it off their chest or are looking for validation doesn’t really matter. It often solidifies it in their mind nevertheless. They remember it clearly and then they remember the feelings associated with it.
You see you can be nice. You can defend her against harm and make her feel safe. You can treat women with respect without fear of losing her to some other guy. All you have to be is a real genuine man. Sure she may say things to test your realness but that just means what you are doing is working.
Women will always question your sincerity if you are not genuinely real. They will always assume it’s an act and rule you out as boyfriend material. Being nice, overly nice, or defending her from trivial events in which she should know how to handle on her own, does not make you memorable sexy. It’s just makes your niceness blend in with the rest of the acting men out there.
You want women to question you. You can then give them the option of figuring you out…
-But you don’t want them to question your sincerity. Avoid this at all costs. Don’t just be yourself, but just be a genuinely real man whose not afraid to be memorable.
I know it’s tough because sometimes you’re going to have to make decisions which will make you better person or more attractive man. In the short run, it could really suck. But hey, you know what, if you’re going to build yourself into a more attractive man sooner or later these choices will come up. You can take the one road that leads to disparity and loneliness or the road that opens up many more opportunities.
Avoid making these choices and women will begin to separate you from other men:
- Holding on too long
- Defending her against nothing
- Pushing forward when it calls to step back
- Not letting her live her own life and make her own mistakes
They are associated with these feelings of…
- Being afraid of making a mistake in front of her
- Being nicer than someone else
- Needing to be hers
- Wanting to own her for fear of losing her
Notice how all those feelings and choices above are connected. Notice how there’s a pattern of neediness or an emphasis on making her see you differently than other men.
That woman I was talking about at the beginning of this post didn’t care about this apparent breakdown because she really did like him. And when a women feels that attraction towards a man she will often put up with a lot more than she would for a guy she’s not attracted to.
And it’s for the same reasons some men will put up with a very attractive woman’s bullshit and her mistreating him.
If you feel like you’re that guy always trying to please women and it’s getting you nowhere, I can guarantee you it’s not going to change by itself. You must do something about it. You must add a little edge to your life and how you deal with women. You must be willing to become that genuine man I talked about earlier.
Do you want to know what I think your first step should be?
Get Help!
Yes I said it. Get help. Don’t sit around bitching about it. Don’t sit around waiting for the world to change. Get off your ass and learn the skills that attract women. I could not have done it by myself so why would I ask you. I went out and searched for real information with useful advice. I didn’t go out and pick and choose the advice I felt like listening to that day. I didn’t go out searching for a quick fix, because I wanted long-term results. I gave up a little of my time and money and then I went and did the work.
If you’re broke, sign up for newsletters from at least five different experts in this field. That’s five different but similar views and free advice to get you started in the right direction. Just by adding positive advice can make a difference, and newsletters are free. Sure we’re going to try to sell you something along the way but it’s not required.
So go ahead and sign up now for these newsletters. They are positive people with great advice who have experienced everything any typical nice guy goes through:
If you’ve got some cash hanging around do yourself a real favor and invest in some solid advice and direction. If you’re relating to much of what I’ve mentioned on this page the Bad Boy Formula is one of the best investments you can make. If this doesn’t do it for you check out this quiz. Take it honestly though. Don’t just fly through it. It takes about five minutes and then you will get your report. Meet Hotter Women Evaluation.
In conclusion…
Always trying to please women will often lead nowhere. And trust me, that is not what they want. They want you to be a genuinely real man. They want you to live your own life and allow her to do the same. This is the most real way to show women you are not needy.
So go ahead and start living for yourself.
More Reading
Dating Mistakes Men make with Women (dialteg.org)
How To Plan Your Happiness To Suit Yourself (beatschindler.com)
Photo Credits
Thanks again. – Image: djcodrin / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
