I am always amazed about this question. It implies a particular man will have something any woman would want. It then predicts she is going to take that “something” from him.
It also suggests to me any guy asking this question has a need to know what he must possess, in order to make sure she gets what she wants. If he asks sarcastically or out of anger, not expecting an answer, he already has it deeply implanted in his brain.
When I think about me wanting something it is because I don’t have it. It could be that cup of delicious coffee in the morning sitting just out of reach. I look at. I want it. I don’t think about it. I just reach out and grab it.
So what do men want… when they are thinking about what a woman wants?
And why do they not just reach out and grab what they want?
(Okay let’s steer ourselves away from the act of man playing caveman and just taking a woman. Grabbing in this context is not meant to be taken literally.)
Why do men spend so much time thinking about what someone else wants, from them? I know I use to do it all the time. Except my questions were almost always,
“Why doesn’t she want me? Why does she want him? Doesn’t she want a nice guy? Why doesn’t she like me like that? What do I have to do to get her to like me?”
Yet each one seemed to centered around a want. I wanted her to want to like me. So then I would begin answering in my head what I thought she wanted, and how I could never give that to her. And I said earlier,
“If he asks sarcastically or out of anger, not expecting an answer, he already has it deeply implanted in his brain.”
And why is that?
Because of the poll I gave in which the results seem to be exactly what I used to believe women wanted…so I was right?
Not a chance but let’s go through it first and find an average response to a woman’s perfect man.
If there are any women reading this, do me a favor. I want you to comment one thing you want from a man. I don’t want any thinking about it, no explanation. Just the first thing that pops in your head when you create that perfect man and how you met.
I released a survey asking women to think about what their perfect guy would look like.
Then I asked a few about his personality. And finished it off with his social and family life. They were given the option of selecting more than one answer. Let’s take a look at each one with not much discussion.
Eye Color
With 50 women taking the poll and 180 selections I’m going to assume most women chose an average three different eye colors. Also one point I would like to make about eyes color is, if a woman rejects you on your eye color alone…walk, no, run away.
Hair Color
Not looking good for red hair or dyed. Sorry guys. But again like eye color, most women selected a few choices, and that is for their perfect man.
Your Height
5’6″ to 6’3″ without a doubt are in the lead. Notice the big gap from someone like my size, to the 5.6″ crowd. That is probably because women obviously prefer a taller man.
So where does that leave the shorter man?
Does he have to settle for 4 to 7% of women?
Your Weight
Weight revealed a broad preference. But it showed me one more important thing. When women were asked about hair color and eyes on a man, they generally chose three options. Weight, they only chose two options.
Your Body Type
Again, women chose fewer options as they did in weight. Muscular or right around perfect weight to height ratio won without much competition. I see in this answer that women want a man who takes cares of himself.
How Does He Dress
Casual or T-shirt and Jeans. Women chose several responses again. Telling us they don’t have an exact or strict definition of what he looks like. This points out to me that as long as you don’t overdo it and look stupid, your attire won’t break the deal.
Facial Hair
I wasn’t surprised by the answer of a smooth face. Women chose this preference heavily. A smooth face to kiss and caress.
Hair length.
Medium with style is still winning with cropped short coming in a distant second. Another case where women seem to prefer the norm, or average looks on a man. Or the current fad of hairstyle.
Under the pants.
Average with slightly above average winning so far. There’s that word average again. I’m starting to see a pattern here.
When women are given many choices of physical attributes they prefer on their perfect man, women prefer average.
And not average in a bad way, but the average man really just being a human animal. Strong and on top of the food chain.
The First thing she notices on you.
Notice how his eyes and smile are leading with his face running a close second, and yet women chose a wide range of eye colors.
Why is this? Because your facial expression and how your eyes affect those expressions are extremely important to women. I call it facial language. Subtle gestures say so much for women. And they react to them quickly.
What’s so important about what women want here is that she prefers a face that is pleasing, relaxed, warm, open, with a hint of mystery on his eyes.
Education
The order from top chosen to the bottom was College Graduate, High School Graduate, Master’s Degree, and then PhD.
Intelligence
Above average, to average with a smart in his own field running third.
A quick note on the last two is that women selecting only two options for each of these.
Athletic
Somewhat athletic won by far. Most women didn’t select more than one here. In other words, they definitely don’t want a couch potato. I will relate back to the average human animal again.
Social Skills
Charming and outgoing won by a large margin. No surprise here.
You..with regards to aiding in her decision-making
She just wants you to contribute.
Where would she meet you?
Here’s the list in order starting with the top selections: School. Friend’s house. Public party. Coffeehouse or bookstore. Private party. Mall, supermarket, or other shopping environment. Amusement park. Work. Then Bar or Club last.
You are financially…
Apparently women don’t consider a broke guy to be considered their perfect man. They want a guy that is stable, has potential, and a few were aiming for rich.
Neat or Messy
Most chose somewhere in the middle while a few chose neat. A few did select messy but I’m going to assume their finger slipped pressing the mouse. Or you can think of it this way, out of the few that have taken this poll up until now, there are actually a few women that don’t seem to mind a lazy broke man.
His Family Life
Strong family background won by far.
How long would you casually date before committing
Couple months then a couple of weeks running second. A good number of women chose a few years. Just proves that women don’t mind having a guy date several women at the same time.
Your Age
Slightly older came in first with the same age chosen second.
Did you learn anything from that list?
Do you plan on getting up and changing yourself to fit the prototypical man described above?
Wait now, I’m not done.
Let’s take the number one choice and describe that man. I will do my best to keep an eye on the number of women taking it. so I can update this quote. It might be fun to watch. He would be this…
(again taken from only the number one choice of each question as of 11/02/09)
WOMEN WANT:
- A clean-shaven man with blue eyes and dark brown medium length but styled hair. He’s between 5’11″ and 6’3″ tall. Weighs between 121 and 140 (although this tells me the women taking this on the average are young).
- He is slightly older than her.
- He is dressed casually and showing an average bulge in his pants.
- He has above average intelligence, a college degree, and is financially stable.
- He is somewhat athletic.
- He is charming and just contributes his opinions to the choices she has to make in her life.
- She meets him at school. He comes from a stable family and commits to her after a few months of dating casually.
Now let’s go back to what I used to believe.
“If I do not fit her preferences and if that is what she wants, how am I ever going to find a girlfriend! Or at least get laid more.”
My first suggestion to anyone still in the mindset. Don’t just keep guessing of what to do and hope something comes your way. That could take forever. Take one thing from that list above that is easy for you to do, and get it handled immediately. Don’t wait around.
Any job I had where I had a list of many little jobs to do I would first configure the order in which they must be done; and then I would do the easiest of that group first. I did it that way for two main reasons, a sense of accomplishment, and CLUTTER.
Imagine your were given three puzzles to do and each were in three different sizes. One one simple, big. One was smaller, a little tougher, and one was expert and tons of little different pieces.
By taking away all the big pieces first away and clearing the bigger easier puzzle, you get to see more clearly the next two puzzles. Now after you go on to finish the slightly harder ones. You are totally clear to full concentrate on all those little bits.
Except in life that last puzzle never comes but shouldn’t slow anyone down. Because the puzzle become mores amazing with each layer.
Keep your eyes out for part two of this post. I will break down the parts a man can do easily to clear up some of these bigger and easier pieces.
For now this get to an ending to this about what you, as a nice guy, or however you see yourself as, want from women?
Again let me know. Put yourself through the same test I gave to women and write down your answers.
So why do I really think this polls says to me,
Women are not that selective about your appearance as long it is taken care of and fits you.
If you found yourself in the small percentile often when it comes to her preferences it only means you will have to excel elsewhere. Like me. I’m a short guy but I feel tall. I know I’m short and I don’t delude myself but I also know for a woman to start or want a relationship with me I must never make it a liability. In other words, I can bust on myself about it and allow others to also, but I must never use it as an excuse for failing in anything.
Women are open to many possibilities of who their perfect man is. I can tell you with confidence that if you create an experience with a woman that keeps her on her toes. You’re relaxed and flirting, and You are both having fun doing it, her perfect man will become clearer in her head. And that clarity will begin to look a lot like you.
Perfection is not what women are seeking, they just want you to become their perfect man.
The next time you see a woman you are extremely attracted to, imagine who you think her perfect man is, then step into his image in your head, and give her a hint of a smile. Then say “Hi” while you casually look in her eyes.
Who do you think she will see?
That perfect man you described in your head, or you, as her potentially perfect man.
I now have a page dedicated to this post.
Photo Credit:
