The first two parts of my online dating series covered some basics to increase your success:
- Your expectations and what you should expect in getting messages.
- How talking to women and talking with women is different and why it’s important to understand if you want to attract women online.
- How having a life outside the internet is very important.
- How and what your headline must do.
- A simple exercise to create and develop your profile headlines, (and message subject lines.)
- How headlines which are out of the ordinary entices her to want to read your profile.
- A small example of a profile based on a strange headline which demonstrates who you are and what you are all about without having to directly say it.
The third piece to help all you frustrated online daters out is about how to write a profile women will want to read.
Although a self-centered or arrogant attitude and not very attractive, it will always be more attractive than desperation and neediness.
You’re going to learn:
- What your profile should say.
- How you should say it.
- What to avoid when writing it or the common mistakes too many guys make.
If you want to write a profile which engages women and keeps their interest long enough to encourage her to write back, the first rule to follow is:
Do not try so hard!
I can not tell you how many men’s profile I’ve seen where the guy is so obviously desperate. It’s obvious to me and the women reading it, but not to him.
This is because he focuses so hard on trying to be liked and saying all the right things his mind gets stuck inside the little profile box. You hear every attraction expert saying the thing for men and women, always stay in the present. When you’re stuck inside that little box you are not in the present. Your writing comes from feelings of your last relationships, attempts to predict a better future relationship, and the overall effect appears desperate and needy. And it’s very hard to detect you’re even doing it.
So remember this hard rule.
Don’t try so hard. I’m not telling you to put absolutely no effort into it. I’m saying when you force something it becomes less appealing.
Now if you’re asking “How do you NOT try so hard?” the answer is quite simple and elegant.
Focus on taking a small part of the most exciting thing about you and put it into a very simple story in as few active words as you can.
When you focus on trying to write something for a woman you don’t even know you’re going to try much too hard to get her to like you.
Your profile must be about you. It must talk “to” women and not “with” her. If you’re worried about looking arrogant and self-centered I’m going to tell you something you’re not going to hear often. (Mostly because guys tend to see more than they should.)
Although a self-centered or arrogant attitude and not very attractive, it will always be more attractive than desperation and neediness. To a certain degree of course because when you over do it to the extreme it actually looks more needy. Do not go taking that statement for more than it’s worth because all I’m saying it’s better to be a little self-centered than it is to be needy. That’s all!
Let’s put all this into a simple list you can follow easily.
Your Profile:
- Must be about you.
- It can be about what you’re looking for as long as it is specific. Be warned though the more specific you are and only cover what you’re looking for, the more self-centered or even un-approachable you will appear.
- You want to engage her interest to want to know more so avoid giving out too much information. Let her read into your profile.
- Avoid trying too hard by talking about an exciting thing about you and put it into a simple story by using active words. Active words describes actions and not facts. an Example would be: “I own a bicycle.” Which is a factual statement. “On Fridays I ride my bike to work because the ride home energizes me for the upcoming weekend.” That is an active sentence.
- Keep it as short as possible. Most online sites will limit this anyways.
These are simple rules you can follow and if you’re failing or totally frustrated with you online experiences these small tips will help you change it for the better. I’m not going to cover everything in-depth so if it’s that bad for you, buy one of these paid programs. Online Dating Domination – by Scot McKay and David Wygant’s Online Dating Secret. Both are complete courses developed to teach you everything I’ve learned in detail. Plus more as in profile examples, women’s thoughts, videos, messaging, and lots more.
Okay now we’ve covered what your profile must say and how you can say it (Without looking desperate and I do hope you’re staying close to the tips I’ve given you the previous two posts)…
You’ll want to quickly read and avoid the common mistakes I’ve seen way too many men make:
- I’ve already covered trying too hard but it’s big enough to mention again.
- Run on sentences full of useless facts about you. (Turn factual statements into active sentences.)
- I’ve seen way too many men confuse approaching women in public and what they write in a profile. You’re not approaching her. She’s approaching you online after you message her.
- Asking for a date. Big mistake! Don’t ever do it in your profile.
- Talking too much on how you’re frustrated looking for single woman. It’s almost like you’re excusing yourself for trying to date online. Remember you have a life outside the internet.
- Talking too much about what you’re looking for in a relationship. The best relationships happen. They are not pre-fabricated or even predictable. To avoid this all too common mistake don’t talk about what you’re looking for in a relationship with her merely hint HER life will be just that much better if you were in it.
- Trying too hard to show her you’re the perfect man for her. Overly nice guys do this most of all. I know because it’s what I did. If this is you a rule of attraction to remember in any venue is – Women will feel more attracted to men who are not told what they should be feeling. If you’re constantly telling her how you’re so much more perfect than the ‘other’ guys she is talking to you she will more than likely not trust you are who you say you are. So why bother.
- Not talking enough “to” the women you are looking for that will enhance your life. It’s almost like you are trying to start a conversation with her profile as if she was a friend. Talking “To” women means speaking to her “woman” side. Her desires to be with a masculine man. Her desires to find a guy who gets her without her having to do all the work.
- Filling in too many blanks in the about me section with one word answers which will only limit the women who feel they will connect with you. This is where the online service ask you to put in your favorite music or interests.
- Talking down to yourself. Try not to fill your profile up with less appealing things about yourself. It’s cool to be humble or to not take yourself so seriously but keep this to a minimum.
There you have it. Follow my profile writing advice, avoid the most common mistakes, make sure it’s about you and not just a bunch of random facts, keep it short and creative, and before you know it, you will be ready to enjoy more online dating success than ever before.
You will also be ready to begin putting up photos that work and writing messages that get more responses then you’ll have time to answer. If you have any questions feel free to leave them below.
If you’re impatient I’m going to suggest before you ever throw your money at a subscription you first invest in a program which will take you through every detail of online dating. Yes they do cost money but you’re wasting your money even attempting to succeed dating online if you’re not getting out of it everything you can. Both my suggestions below are worth every penny and will actually save you money in the end.
But please, don’t take my word for it. Find out for yourself. Here are my top two recommendations.
Online Dating Domination – from Scot McKay.
Scot met his wife online and they are still together producing material that helps men and women succeed from online to better relationships. If you want to learn from an intelligent man who inspires confidence in you, Scot can be him. In other words, based on my experience from learning from Scot, he inspires energy and competence. You just feel when you’re done with even his smallest pieces, a surge of confidence hits you and you’re ready to take on and succeed in any dating challenge you experience.
Online Dating Secrets – from David Wygant.
If you’re looking for the most detailed video demonstrations ever made to teach you how to become a master dating online, David has them all. He works with real clients, real women, in real situations, and shows you exactly how to do it for yourself. Based on my personal experience in what I have learned from David… His attitude, like Scot, inspires confidence and a belief in yourself anything is possible. And he also refuses to toss you meaningless junk to fill up his products. Everything is there for a reason and that reason is to only help you succeed.
