#10

This is a trick question.  I don’t find anything wrong with being a passionate person. I am passionate myself. I just feel that it has negatively affected my relationships because I did not have control over those passionate emotions. I have done some altogether stupid shit while riding those emotions. That is why I decided to include it. If you are a passionate person, which I have seen from the survey many people are, the friends zone is always closer than you might suspect.

Let me tell you a short story about being just friend’s with a girl.

Once upon a time…ah just messing with you, I’ve always wanted to start a story that way and since these are my pages, I can basically do whatever I want.

Okay back to my insightful yet pathetic story where my passion controlled me.

I was at college majoring in music. And yet, music was my passion. I met this girl. A cute blond. She represented my most sought out physical features in a woman. Blond. Full lips. Blue eyes. Perfect ass. Sounds wonderful huh? But her personality wasn’t all that good. Sure she was a little fun being around. Sure we shared a love of music, she also majored in music; yet when I think about it now…

That was it.

Everything else just didn’t match up. I was a hippie and into the artistic social scenes. She was a “Jockette” and into basketball players.

The passion inside me would not let me see what was really going on. I tried to win her over by allowing my emotions to control me. Which meant trying to romance her into liking me. It that just doesn’t work. So she never felt that spark of attraction towards me and instantly put me in the friends zone. I knew I was there. After all I was, and still am, an intelligent man.

But the passionate fool inside me would take over my brain. The same feelings that made me great in music and drove my creativity clouded my judgment.

Instead of using my intelligence to learn how to create attraction through social interactions and being that cool sexy guy the passion would always win and try to create attraction on its own terms, through romance, undying love, strong feelings, gifts, favors…you get the picture. Which is fine when coming from who we are. But as far as creating attraction goes, good luck!

I met another woman through a friend while I was still trying to get the other one. We went to my dorm to hangout and while my friend was jamming on my guitar we sat on the bed and talked. She saw my poetry. Of course I wrote poetry, it’s part of being a passionate artist, Well she read through it all. The evening rolled on and with each poem she moved closer and closer to me. At some point she even put her arm around me. I was shocked. I had just met this woman an hour ago and already without me doing anything at all she was totally into me. And within two hours our tongues were dancing as we stood outside her car in the parking lot. We said our goodbyes and she asked if we could hang out this weekend. I agreed.

The weekend came and there we were again, making out on my bed when I pulled back from her and said,

“You know I like you. I really do. But there’s this girl I’m in love with so I’m not looking for any kind of relationship. Of course sex is not out of the question but that’s all it’s ever going to be.”

It was my nice guy way of reassuring myself that I had morals. I was not a user or a player. Yes I enjoyed sex and yes I wanted to get laid. But for some reason that nice guy in me would not allow me to fool a woman into believing there would be more to us, than sex. And honestly I just wasn’t that into her.

I bet you’re wondering how she responded to my upfront attitude.

She was more than willing to settle for just sex. She replied,

“Awwww that’s sweet. I don’t mind…I’m engaged anyways…and by the time I’m done with you. I’ll make sure it will be the best sex she has ever had.”

We enjoyed a great weekend of sex….

But I just wasn’t that into her. She did not fit the mold my passion was after. The passion was itching for feelings. It craved them and just sex alone is not enough. It wants or needs more. It needs higher and more intense feelings. But that same passion that drove one woman to want me badly in such a short time drove another away even quicker.

Why is that?

What was the difference?

What does this have to do with the friend’s zone?

How can I use this to escape it if I’m in?

Because when I controlled my passionate feelings and didn’t allow them to cloud my judgment I naturally attracted someone. When my emotions controlled me and was the primary source of my actions I repelled women further from attraction and created a good friend..

There is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling something and there’s nothing wrong with being passionate. I firmly believe this. Yet when it comes to creating an attractive person there’s a huge difference from being passionate about what you do and who you are and allowing others a glimpse of that creativity and energy; and showing undying passion for someone in which the attraction isn’t there.

That is how we end up in friend’s zone. We feel this huge attraction for someone else and we allow the passionate person inside us control how we act and most of the time this means trying to got someone else to feel attraction towards us.

But there’s good news. You can use these feelings to escape the friend’s zone.

But then there is some bad news too. It’ might not always work and it takes time. Sometimes it will take so long that we end up meeting someone else, dating others, and entering several relationships in the mean time. Doesn’t sound so bad after all…meaningful relationships and more dates!

First you must notice the different attitudes I had with those two women. I didn’t notice but looking back it now, it is so clear Through one I was more passionate about my life. What I wanted. Where I was going. How I felt and how I allowed another a glimpse of me and shared only important information that related to the two of us. The other woman I through my passion at her. She was my passion and I let her know it immediately. i would have done anything for her, and I did. And when that failed to create attraction I just pushed harder which drove her further away from me. I attempted to pull her in my life instead of perhaps allowing her to enter.

Now that we can see the difference escaping the friends zone requires us to full commit to ourselves about who we are. It means pulling back from the source that feeds the passion externally, and learn to feed the passion internally. It’s not easy. Emotions are addictive. But it’s worth it. It really is.

Imagine this…(I’m going to be a woman for a moment I know many of you read this material)

Two different you(s) are walking in a mall at two different times in your life. One sees this handsome guy who approaches and starts a great conversation with you. You find yourself totally into him. Your mind starts racing about all the possibilities. Your mind start wondering if he’s into you. Will he ask for my number? You fidget a little wondering if he thinks your hair is a mess and that skirt is too long or worse, too short….

The other self is walking along that same mall. You’re out shopping for a new dress for an upcoming party. You want to look good  and make a great impression because the people at the party are charitable people. You’re passionate about helping others and these people have the money to pass along. Out of the blue this man approaches you. If you weren’t so preoccupied with your own life you might not have seen but he approached you so all is good. You begin talking and instead of all these crazy thoughts about how you look and what he thinks and what’s going to happen you just tell him a little about why you are there. Shopping for that dress and living your passionate lifestyle.

Notice the difference between the two interactions. Which man will be more than likely feel attraction for. The one with self-doubt whose feeling are directly related to someone she doesn.t even know, or the one who is living passionately for herself.

Do me a favor. Start using this passion for yourself. Be selfish about it at first until your mind and body understands those feelings are powerful, rewarding, and easily attract others. Then allow those others to join you.

I have one more favor to ask. But this one’s for you. I want you to seriously consider the programs below. That’s all. Just consider them. They can help but only if you are ready to make some changes in your life. If you’re not ready, don’t bother. They probably won’t help anyways and you’ll have to ask for your money back. My bet after that you will use that same fiery passion to write a nasty review here about how it failed you miserably.

Okay so I have chosen them specifically for this post because they deal with directly taking charge of that passion you feel so deeply about, how to use it to attract more men and women into your lives, and not just as friends. Also they offer something for men and women.

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This was question 10 from my Friend’s Zone Test.

Take my survey and learn more about yourself.

#10

Tagged as: attractive, Emotion, emotions, feelings, lifestyle, passion, Relationship, Relationships, romance