Being a passionate person is a wonderful thing BUT…
It can have a negative impact on our relationships with women especially when it comes to the eerie friends zone.
This question was asked as part of a friends zone test. A test where I reversed all the reasons I felt stranded there. It was quite clever.
By answering the questions honestly it could figure out why it was happening and so we can begin to reverse the affects.
Being overly passionate became one of them and I’ll explain so if you feel this may be a problem for you too, getting out may only be a step away. Although normally it takes a few.
I was in college majoring in music and yes, music was my passion.
I met this girl. A cute blond. She embodied everything I thought I wanted physically But her personality wasn’t all that good.
Sure she was a little fun being around. Sure we shared the love of music and like who doesn’t. yet when I think about it now…
That was it!!!
Everything else just didn’t match up. I was a hippie and into the artistic social scenes.
She was a “Jockette” and into tall basketball players.
But… being so passionate, or not borderline hopeless romantic, I couldn’t see the truth. I didn’t want to believe it. I refused to LET IT GO!
I tried to win her over by allowing my emotions to control me. Which meant trying to romance her into liking me.
Since that never really works there was no way she was ever going to suddenly start feeling attracted to me. Something I couldn’t see because the passionate fool inside me just wouldn’t give up.
My judgement was clouded over an attraction which when left alone and not given back – starts to feel like love.
So instead of using my clever mind to step back and learn how to create attraction I succumbed to depression, hopelessness, and everything else which seems to come to us “passionate” people.
Bear with me because there’s a happy ending beyond DiaLteG TM and how I now use my passions to ATTRACT.
I met another woman through a friend while I was still trying to get the first one.
We went to my dorm and while my friend was jamming on my guitar we sat on the bed and talked.
She saw my poetry…. well of course I wrote sappy poetry, it’s part of being a passionate artist. Isn’t it?
The evening rolled on and with each poem she moved closer and closer to me. At some point she even put her arm around me.
I was shocked.
I had just met this woman an hour ago and already without me doing anything at all she was totally into me!!!
Within two hours we were making out in the parking lot.
We said our goodbyes and she asked if we could hang out this weekend and I definitely agreed.
The weekend came and there we were again, making out on my bed when I pulled back from her and said,
“You know I like you. I really do. But there’s this girl I’m in love with so I’m not looking for any kind of relationship. Of course sex is not out of the question but that’s all it’s ever going to be.”
It was my nice guy way of reassuring myself that I had morals. I was not a user or a player. Yes I enjoyed sex and yes I wanted to get laid. But for some reason that nice guy in me would not allow me to fool a woman into believing there would be more to us, than sex.
BUT honestly I just was NOT that into her.
Luckily she was more than willing to settle for just sex and replied with,
“Awwww that’s sweet. I don’t mind…I’m engaged anyways…and by the time I’m done with you. I’ll make sure it will be the best sex she has ever had.”
Hey I didn’t say things were altogether normal for us.
As I mentioned above, I wasn’t really INTO her despite the fact I was IN her.
Strangle enough though, the same passion which drove the first woman to keep me in the friends zone and literally ruin my chances forever because of the stupid shit it made me do…
Within a shorter time had a woman practically begging for my approval and my body. Course little did I knew she had tricks up her sleeve but that’s for another sorted story.
Why is that? What was the difference between these two interactions?
Well when I controlled my passionate feelings and didn’t allow them to cloud my judgment I naturally attracted her.
When my emotions controlled me and was the primary source of my actions I repelled women further from attraction and just created a good friend and a fantasy love affair in my mind.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling something and there’s nothing wrong with being passionate.
I firmly believe this.
Yet when it comes to creating an attractive person there’s a huge difference from being passionate about what you do and who you are and allowing others a glimpse of that creativity and energy; and showing undying passion for someone in which the attraction just isn’t there.
Because that is one way we end up in friend’s zone.
We feel this huge attraction for someone else and we allow the passionate person inside us to control how we act and most of the time this means trying to got someone else to feel the same towards us.
Being a passionate person is great BUT where and when that passion is directed means either a long winding road down the friends zone or a passionate love affair where ATTRACTION comes first and not second.
It’s like they say… in order to attract more women your life must not revolve around them.
Once attraction is already there and things are going great then sure, passion can be amazing.
If you are a passionate person always finding yourself in the friends zone then please step back and learn to see the difference.
Never forget that having passion CAN be a wonderful tool and a total inspiration to others BUT when directed towards women BEFORE the attraction, when it revolves around women or one woman specifically, or when it makes you do “romantic” things thinking it’ll get you that girl…
Go through my Eliminate the Friends Zone Ebook – hey it IS free – and direct your passions in a way which creates attraction and I believe you’ll find it works much better that way.
This was question 10 from the Friend’s Zone Test