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Not Being Sexy. How Your Body Language Can Put You In Her Friend Zone

in Attraction
Notice the strong sexual body language from this couple. He didn’t get put in the friends zone because she found him sexy.

Did you know your body language could put you in the friends zone before you even meet a woman?

Yeah, I know. It sucks!

But when we think about it objectively, in a way, it doesn’t suck because it also means if we notice what we’re doing while we’re around women we can begin to do something about it and better yet the opposite becomes true too…

Our body language can help keep us OUT of being seen as just friends material too.

And that does not suck.

First – How and why your body language may not be considered sexy and what it may project.

Weak timid movements may easily tell her we’re unsure of ourselves.

That we lack direction and confidence. Women will banish us to the friends zone almost immediately when our body gives out those signals because… well women are attracted to confidence and men who have direction.

Hugging yourself constantly or crossing your arms often displays you’re insecure, needy, or defensive. Women will tend to predict you are jealous, overbearing, and even a much too demanding person. She instantly predicts you’re probably only going to work for a friendship.

Of course the crossing arms thing can have the opposite effect too. For some women it’s an invitation to explore, if you know what I mean. Especially if you’re a huge guy with a not so pleasant look on your face. But we’re not interested in that, are we?

Legs or feet held tight together, tense jaw line, and rigid facial expressions is a tell you are scared and reserved.

When you appear scared or reserved women will have a tendency to be scared with you and are less likely to allow you to approach her.

If you do approach her she has already put you in the “no date” part of her mind and I doubt she will even want a friendship unless you work a little too hard for it.

Now consider how you stand.

If you stand with your hands constantly covering your sexual areas such as your groin and hips you are acting like a friend because you’re perceived as guarding your sexual desires.

Woman find it difficult to feel you’re a man who embraces his sexual sides. Like you’re not confident – down there. Or you don’t know how to touch a woman or what she likes or, as far as the bedroom is concerned – you have little experience.

It can also mean, you’re worried she will find out you’re into her body.  Which is a huge mistake nice guys make which can land them in the friend zone very quickly.

I always say, error on the side of being too sexual and not at all.

This WILL help you avoid most friends zone because of the sex thing. It’s not perfect but again, better than just being a friend all the time. This I know from, lets just say, been there done that.

Body Language Basics and The Friend Zone.

Do not fear your instinct as a male.

Women sense this fear and may assume you’re weak in bed. Not weak in the sense that the sex will be bad. Some women are not entirely into having a perfect sex life.

But they do want a guy who is not afraid of “being a man” in bed. It’s an integral part of the seduction process.

Even if a woman knows she being seduced she will follow along gladly, 😉 if it feels right. I have to meet many women, who at the right time did not want to be seduced by a guy she’s not sure on how he feels about her.

If your body language projects fear and uncertainty she might not want to be seduced by you. It will feel creepy, rehearsed, manipulative, and certainly uncomfortable.

Despite what you see in movies most women do not prefer to be the one seducing you. If you’re waiting for that to happen by itself, you’re wasting valuable time.

Now consider how your body moves because this is one of the most common ways a man will not be considered sexy and therefore is more likely to be ‘friended’ by a woman.

If your body moves with:

  • Stagnate rigid hips
  • A hunched over walk
  • Arms not swinging freely
  • Curled up toes in your shoes
  • Constantly watching the ground
  • Afraid to notice the people around you…

There is just no way a woman will see you as a sexy man. Sure she can, over time, develop a crush on you, or find your mind sexy and all that stuff but why bother waiting.

Your time is valuable, don’t waste it.

The truth is it can take you exploring a couple, tens maybe, even a hundred different women, more like a thousand if you ask me before you meet that one woman you want to spend the rest of your life with.

You can increase your chances dramatically of not being seen as ‘just friends‘ material you must exhibit a strong sexual presence or vibe.

Always choose to error on the side of being too sexual.

Being a sexual friend you are more likely to date and enter a relationship with her. Being a non-sexual friend the odds are highly against you to ever get out of the friends zone.

It’s generally easier (as a nice guy) to add friendship to sex than it is to add sex to a friendship.

Have you ever seen men in concert like Beck, Meatloaf, Dave Matthews, a younger Robert Plant, even Mick Jagger, Rod Stewart, Prince, Frank Sinatra, Jim Morrison, and the list goes on…

Notice their movements on stage because if you’re not free and easy with your body like they are…women are only seeing you as a friend because you have very little of what is called a “sexual vibe.”

Sure those guys are stars. Sure their fame makes a difference. But take a closer look at their fan base with regards to women. 

It’s not because they like their music, it’s because everything about them screams a sexy man when they move on stage or in public. ( And being able to project that through art is intoxicating to lots of women.)

Lets not get into a “who plays real music” discussion because as far as I’m concerned, from a musicians point of view, these guys perform on giant stages. Without solid performances I highly doubt they will make it at all.

I just don’t feel those men become sexy by being on stage, it only enhances what they already had.

Notice how entirely different each one of them look?

Body Language Basics – Women find men who move effortlessly or free-like much more sexier than those who seem to be stuck in one place or who move with fear, uncertainty, and show very little self-assurance.

And that is something they will notice before you even approach them.

The good news is you can learn those basics yourself.

A strong inner game allows your body to react quicker to change but a strong inner game takes a lot longer to achieve.

Your friends zone problem will not be solved by just fixing your inner game.

You need to seriously consider every angle.

Showing your body how to be sexy works quicker and is easier.

Still work on those “inner” things but if you want to see quicker change – tackle all areas you may need help for faster results which definitely includes your body movement.

Here are some tips to help you out with your body language and get you out of her friends zone radar.

TIP ONE: Learn everything you can about avoiding the friends zone and how to get out by gaining a strong inner game and a solid outer game with respect to how you typically interact with women.

TIP TWO: Go out and watch as many music videos where the artists mentioned below are performing live.

Pay close attention to their body language while they are moving on stage.

I’m recommending the ones below  because they represent how different body styles, looks, and personalities are able to demonstrate strong sexual body language.

Being sexy is a universal trait which transcends looks and personality.

  • Meatloaf (older material). – A Bigger body type with a “in your face” attitude. Sweaty and all women found him incredibly sexy. Don’t disregard this man.
  • Dave Matthews – Average body with a shy quiet personality. He is even balding. Men see him dancing and they think big deal. Women see him dance and I’ve known a few to get a little wet in the pants watching him. Not a bad mentor to watch if you learning how to be sexy. (Of course you’ll have to see past his constant leg shaking which is not suggested to follow)
  • Mick Jagger – Not good-looking – Outward down to earth personality. I was called Mick by a few people growing up because of how I looked and I was devastated being seen as ugly. But when this nickname stuck, I had a hot girlfriend and walked around knowing I was getting some every night. No one ever called me Mick after we broke up. Because I walked around overly confident with nothing to back it up. Which is not sexy at all.
  • Robert Plant (younger Led Zeppelin material)- Pretty looking? Haha! Let’s face it he is the original pretty boy rock star that started a sexual trend which branched out in the 80’s music scene. He had skinny body and a romantic personality. He even stuck out his gut on stage. Yet he oozed sexuality through every pore in hos body. Take away that and he was nothing more than a nice guy with a hopeless romantic attitude. A perfect blend of a man who rarely ever has the women he wants. Live Video ~ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PU-PoUwECjI
  • Frank Sinatra – (older) – His body was non-muscular and he had a charming smooth personality. His sexuality was dominate in his body language. A classic seducer of woman through charm, wit, and an unshakable confidence. But what allowed him to pull it all off was his free moving body language and slow indifferent mannerisms.
  • Beck – Lanky long body – Cool relaxed and an artistic personality.Without his sexy body language I’m willing to bet he would have been seen as a nerd or beatnik with some creative lyrics. And both those types sprouting poems would not be getting many women in bed. A nerd writing poetry is lame but a nerd writing poetry who walks around with sexy body language is an irresistible combination to women. Live Video ~ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLTq1n6fh18 ~ Seriously watch this man closely!
  • Prince – Short small body – Artistic edgy personality. The edgy seclusive attitude only works for those who are considered sexy. Take away that and you have a shut in where the edginess is borderline eccentric. I don’t know about you but I have yet to meet many women who are looking for that. However when you add the confident body language who glides around smoothly, you get a sexy man and women will overlook the eccentricity more often than not to be with him.
  • Axl Rose – Slim tattooed body – Bad boy 80’s personality. Sure his bad boy attitude was cultivated in the party type 80’s scene where rock stars did lots of drugs and never slept. Assuming he was into drugs and drinking if you take away strong sexual body language you get just another loser drug addict with lots of problems. Add the sexual vibe and suddenly his attitude or addiction becomes easily overlooked as being a poor soul that women feel a need to change and nurture.
  • Jim Morrison – Average body with a deep depressed artistic personality. Do you think it was his wonderfully depressive poetry that hot him laid? Perhaps it was his fifteen minute long rants on stage which transcended him into the sexual man women fainted from? Nope. It was his sexual free nature and fluid body movements. It was his ability to seduce with his movements alone which allowed him to do whatever the hell he wanted on stage. Once he reached sexual status, then and only then could he get away with anything. ~ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aaP5B_C7AQo

When you’re done watching you will see how each of them share movements which you show your body how to move.

You will also notice how some of your “so-called personality flaws” are now being overlooked by some women because how you move, your voice, and the way you talk to her is so much more important to her.

For those of you who might believe your body type is getting in the way, I’d love to try and prove you wrong. 🙂

Start asking women or pay attention to what they find sexy. Sure the “normal” reasons are there but what about the guys you look at – who are not very handsome, who are not altogether in shape – why do women find them sexy – because of the way they move and the strong sexual confidence they project is there.

It may take a female mind to notice it but take a look around and maybe you’ll see it for yourself.


TIP THREE:  Develop fluid sexual movements by freeing your body’s natural abilities to be strong and agile.

You are born naturally sexy (you’re a male – your body was designed to procreate with women) but over time this disappears due to bad diet, no exercise, negative thinking, physical trauma, and receding confidence.

For some of you it happens quickly. For others more slowly. So if women don’t find you sexy anymore this is probably why.

WARNING: What I’ve found is that your body language will get worse with every passing day if you do nothing about it.

There are many ways you can become a sexy guy from how you dress, how you act, your social status, your confidence and everything else mentioned on this page. Most of which is impossible to cover in one post. This article might help you more. Become A Sexy Guy – Where Your Sexiness Comes From and How To Find It

Me, I’ve worked out and stayed active for most of my life and have always been in relatively good shape but trust me, THAT did not make me sexy as I found out being friends for almost a couple of decades.

I was shy, nervous, fidgeted, and leaked my words out instead of talking with a sense of purpose and power.

So what I did is sought out, well we kind of bumped into each other, a master in athletics.

While he spent time training premier athletes and exploring all areas he stumbled upon his own body language and why it was “turning women off.”

Luckily for us, he fixed it and if you exercise at all, are looking to start something new and boring or typical, or you’re not interested in buffing yourself out which is exhausting in itself, then take a look at “The Code of The Natural.” Inexpensive but it WORKS!

Feel better. Walk free. Move effortlessly. Show your sexual side without being an “ass” 🙂 and demonstrate a natural confidence to women before they even meet you.

Remember… If your body language can put you in the friends zone your new body language can keep you out or even get you out.

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