Have you seen my 20 nice Guy Tips to help you attract women? I’d go check it out.
If you feel like you don’t have any luck with women despite being ‘one of the good guys’ I can practically guarantee you’re doing many things wrong which you can change and still be a nice guy.
You’ll find THAT list below.
No thinking deeply about who you are.
Just a great list of ten reasons you will not attract women, or that particular woman you have your eyes on, if you find yourself doing anything or everything on this list.
This is not meant to be tough love.
These are just facts.
Ask any women out there to read this and she will agree with over ninety percent of it.
So here we go…
10. Always give in to “her” demands because of how she looks on the outside.
This is what used to go on inside my mind. See if you can relate to this classic neediness or approval seeking attitude.
“Holy shit this chic is hot. I would love to fuck her. I would do anything for her. If I could just prove to her I’m not like any other guy she has met.”
Never let a woman’s attractiveness dictate your worth or your actions.
9. Talk to her about how you can not find a nice girl because they only seem to like jerks.
If you find yourself constantly complaining to your woman friends about number nine…
If you find yourself complaining to a girl you secretly love about how women only fall for jerks…
You’re making a huge mistake. You’re prodding her for how she feels about you.
You’re hoping she’ll make the first move and if you do lots of other things that are on this list, just like I did, you will only come off as a judgmental prick who lacks control over his own destiny.
Remember, this list was not invented in my head… I’ve done them all!
8. Refuse to tease her because you believe she will think you are like every other guy out there or that’s it not a “nice” thing to do.
David DeAngelo drilled the concept of “the originality paradox” in my brain to the point and I will never forget it because it helped me so much.
If you find yourself trying to act one way because you think every other guy acts this way, you’re fooling yourself.
Refusing to tease her and trying to act differently will only cause her to not see you as a real option or guy.
You will blend into the background of every nice guy trying to do the same.
You won’t be original at all and she will feel nothing more for you than a close friend, at best.
The best quote I have comes from an article I wrote called Raising Hope Takes Her Off The Pedestal – A Nice Guy Lesson In Attraction,
The Opposite of the Guy She Has Sex with. Brilliant Strategy…
For more mistakes please read ALL of these from David which I’ve posted here at DiaLteG TM:
- The Ten Reasons Why HIGHLY INTELLIGENT Men Fail With Women… AND WHAT TO DO
- Ten Reasons Why Men Fail With Women
- Being ‘Too Nice’ To Women
7. Constantly ask her how she feels.
“How are you doing today?”
“Is your meal okay.”
“Do you want to leave?”
“Where do you want to go?”
“Are you attracted to him?”
“Why are you attracted to that guy?”
You’re getting the picture here.
Women do NOT want to have to tell you how they feel; and if they want to tell you, trust me they will.
Unless you’re meeting women all the time who don’t like to talk about themselves or talk about their feelings, why would you bother asking these kind of questions.
This is approval seeking to the extreme and women may answer all your questions and tell you everything you ask, but you won’t be her boyfriend because of it.
They want YOU to understand THEM. Plain and simple.
6. Telling her or women in general that if she was yours, you would not treat her like her ex-boyfriend did.
“If she was yours…”
If those four words don’t scream your full intention on getting her and destroy all mystery in her mind, you might have a chance.
I know when I did not know how to attract women I would do this constantly.
And the awful truth of the matter was…
I didn’t have a clue what I would’ve done if those women suddenly became attracted to me.
It was just talk and me trying to prove I was the better man instead of just becoming a great man who turns her on when I feel like it.
5. Treat her like you would treat your mother.
I love my mom, always will. She has supported me for years and has stood behind me on every decision I have made in my life.
Through my uphill battle in learning about women I saw one major clue I was missing.
I was treating women I thought I loved, like my mother.
But then as I looked back at my mother’s relationship with men, they were not treating her like that at all.
Yes. Even my Mom wants a man who does not do this list with her.
Building a family bond requires for you as man, to build that family first and that will require you to attract women first and perhaps over time, that one special women will become the mother of your children.
I can guarantee you this, even at that point, you will be sleeping on the couch when you start treating your wife like your mom.
4. Try to do everything for her refusing her to make her own mistakes or decisions in life only showing her you don’t think she’s strong enough or capable of doing it.
I found myself always trying to make their lives easier.
It’s a nice thing to do but if you want to make other people’s lives easier please give your time to charity first.
Don’t give your charity to her.
If you’re willing to try something, stop doing number four 99.9999% of the time with women you want and dedicate THAT energy to helping those less fortunate than you.
When you begin to meet women that see you doing this because you’re a nice guy, and she sees you allowing her to live her own life and make her own mistakes, you will attract her like you’ve never thought possible.
3. Tell her you love her within a few weeks of knowing her.
Yes. I’ve done this before quite blatantly and I’ve seen or heard of nice guys doing this too.
How any man, including me, ever felt to reveal this kind of information so early on is beyond my ability to rationalize.
Now the hidden acts that go on in your attention or dealings with her also scream love too.
Remember women read into everything and if you’re acting like you love her, she will assume you do and most likely feel extremely creeped out.
Particularly in complimenting her. I feel that is where most nice guys really fail.
Don’t confuse love with physical attraction.
Allow a woman to develop a love with you and challenge her each step of the way. Women or people in general value something more when they have to work for it themselves.
2. Wait patiently around for her to make a move on you.
I was a master of this and okay, I admit I got laid from it a few times BUT it NEVER worked with women I really wanted.
In fact I couldn’t understand how one woman would throw themselves at me while I was just hanging out, and some would run quicker than Forest Gump on steroids.
If you’re going to be a nice guy and you still want a choice with attracting women… Always lead.
Always stay one step ahead of her.
Women love a man who can do that and make it look effortlessly.
Read this post I wrote to help you out with this one – 7 Ways to Be a Real Man and How It Can Come Down To Your Sexual Confidence with Women.
As Carlos Xuma points out in the Bad Boy Formula (paraphrased from memory),
“When it comes to women, their careers, and living their own lives, the want dominant control over that themselves. However when it comes to dating and attraction, and what really turns them on, is to be a woman. Which means you need to be the man who takes charge. It means you need to BE the man who is the Alpha Male….”
You’ll also want to read these two guest posts by Carlos which are here at DiaLteG TM.
- The Bad Boy Formula – Nice Guys Need Edge To Attract Women
- Double Standards – Bad Boys, Jerks, and Dating Many Women
1. Refuse to date other women because you think she is the one.
I may have used this also as an excuse.
What I would do is to focus so much on one woman , thinking she’s the one for me, I would neglect all others around me.
In reality it was a great excuse to avoid learning first how to attract a woman.
“But I want her…”
“I’ll never meet another like her.”
“She’s my perfect match and we get along so well.”
It never occurred to me, although I’m sure I knew but refused to do something about it, women just don’t want men who can not find a girlfriend, go on dates, or have casual sex.
She doesn’t want to teach you that.
She thinks you should already know.
It’s a major test they use to find out who you really are.
Fail that test and you’re just another one of her nice guy friends she feels sorry for, because you’re single.
Yes this was an “in your face” kind of list.
I gave it to you straight and I gave it to you directly from my years of being that nice guy who didn’t have any choices in attracting women.
I took some hard lumps along the way and once in a while it’s good to hear the truth despite of how it is presented.
Now do you do many of the same items on the list?
Are you that nice guy blending into the background of attraction?
The nice guy in the back of the room refusing to look around for fear you’ll fall for another woman who will just refuse you.
Do yourself, and women, a huge favor and give yourself the desire to learn what you can to stop doing them.
Nothing on this list requires you stop being a nice guy, it just requires you start to being a man. To start becoming the man who can attract success into your dating life.
Nice Guys Finish First – My main page to help Nice Guy’s Attract More Women and avoid many of the mistakes men make.