People who find themselves in the friends zone AND have never been rejected while trying to kiss someone or make any sort of move – there’s an extreme chance they have not tried enough times if any.
If that’s you, you might have to overcome a fear of making the first move in you’re ever to escape or eliminate the friends zone from your life.
I came up with this question when I realized how many times I failed to make a move on a woman due to my strange fear of success.
The truth is you can not be rejected when you don’t ask or attempt to make a move.
You can not get out, stay out, or eventually rid yourself of always being just friends if you don’t step up and make a move.
I’m not saying to just start throwing yourself at people, but think about it, (and I hate to quote clichés) but if you never try, you will never succeed.
If you answered yes to this I want you to think a little about why you were refused.
Think about your tactics.
Think clearly about if it’s happening over and over because you may have to change your approach.
I run into many men and women who just don’t know how to kiss. They don’t understand when to go for it and when to hold back.
This could easily cause the fear and cause you to miss this important step to actually dating.
If you’re not sure about this kissing thing… read this post I wrote —> How I Kiss With Passion I would also suggest you look at one step from my getting a girlfriend series titled: Step 10. Why And How You Might Have To “Go Get Laid” to Get A Girlfriend.
If you answered no to this, but still decided to take my survey, I believe there is a great possibility you are after one person alone.
You are stuck as just friends with one person and you have failed to make a move at the right time. This is very common.
You’ve had success with others and you clearly can see the signs of when to act but this one person seems to be alluding you.
If you’re a woman the situation may be a little different due to the nature of relationship between men and women.
You may not have made yourself available for the moment or you are not putting yourself in the position early enough to allow him to go for that first kiss.
You may have to reword this question to fit your role.
If that is you, you must step back now before you get too deep.
You must pull back further to reintroduce yourself.
In most cases it is the first step. It hurts. I know it does. It’s tough. I know it is. But think about it this way…
- If you really want this person
- If you feel so strongly that you were “meant to be”
- If you feel this person is perfect for you
You must take that first step ( pulling back ) no matter how much it hurts.
If you do not, you’re fooling yourself into believing you will do anything for this person.
I struggled with this incredibly in the past. I typically fell hard for one woman who I would often tell myself and unfortunately her,
“I would do anything for her.” or to her, “I would do anything for you.”
But I was wrong!
I would not do anything because I refused to do what needed to be done.
In this case or question, what I refused to do was to make a move and get over my fears that I could not.
Often by the time I got my nerve up it was too late, she had already slotted me as a friend.
If You Want Out:
- Take the simple steps needed to learn how to deal with rejection:
This is a strong inner game.
This is your high self-esteem.
You never hear people talk about inner game in women but I feel it’s imperative if you’re a woman, to gain a rock solid inner game.
- Explore your feelings as it pertains to a fear of success:
Due to a childhood event where a woman once told me I kissed ‘funny’ and another event where I was called ‘stiff’ I was terrified to make a move.
My fear of success meant if she was going to accept my kiss, it would be awful and I would ruin it forever.
(Incidentally guys I’ve yet to meet many women who turn down a guy just because he’s a terrible kisser. I’m not saying stay that way, but if she doesn’t like it and you still maintain great oral hygiene, there’s a great chance you won’t ruin it.)
- Gather the knowledge to understand when the time is right to kiss someone:
Fireman train constantly.
They repeat the same moves over and over.
Sometimes it appears a waste of time to turn the fire hydrant on each time.
You might think once they learn it, they know how to do it.
However under a real emergency, when their heart is racing, and the real pressure is on, their bodies must act instinctively to perform even the most simple tasks.
Rehearsing yourself constantly to prepare for that “make or break it” moment is vital.
Your heart will be racing along with your partners.
If you have a clear definition your instinct may take over and alleviate some of those butterflies in your stomach.
People who are not sure, or hesitate often fail at this critical step because of a lack of proper training.
- Learn to amplify attraction to create more of those “making a move” moments:
This is simple math.
The more chances, the more experiences, the more choices, and so on…
Making a move too early can ruin your chances BUT…
Making a move too late will hurt your chances even more.
Learning to amplify all your interactions with someone you are attracted to will undoubtedly create seemingly unstoppable moments where your lips lock together.
Make yourself available for these moments to happen more often.
Men are just as guilty as women are on this one. I understand most people assume women don’t open up enough and it makes it difficult for some men to try to kiss them.
But you guys all too often overlook the fact that you are the leader here.
When the attraction is amplified to a boiling point she WILL respond to your lead.
If she’s nervous you must not be nervous.
Making yourself available means she will also open up easier because she is following your lead.
This wrap this up and summarize this question before I go off point.
If you have tried to kiss someone who refused it you get ONE point for the confidence.
If you have never made a move on someone who refused it you’re either doing really good or are not trying hard enough.
However because you did take part in this survey I would not give you a point because I feel you were not proficient enough on the ways I listed in the getting out section.)
4. Have you ever made a move, or tried to kiss someone who refused it?
Total Votes: 450
Click here to the view the entire results – from the Friend Zone Test
You should also check out my entire Ebook for free – Eliminate (escape) the Friend Zone