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Are You Qualifying Her? – Attracting Women & Better Relationships

in Attraction, Qualification
Who is qualifying who?

Learning how to attract more fulfilling relationships with the right woman is in one way about knowing how to qualify her.

When you qualify a woman the right way you do one of several things:

  • You create attraction in many ways up to and including getting a woman to qualify herself to you.
  • You’re showing her you have high standards minus the arrogance.
  • Your assurance to yourself that she is the right type of woman you’re looking for.
  • You’re looking deeper into who she is in a way that is hard to fake. You’re seeing past and beyond her persona and looking for any real character flaws she may have which can be problematic in the future.

If and when you decide to further a relationship with her, through better qualification techniques – you’re giving BOTH of you the best chance in developing a longer-lasting, happy, healthy, and fulfilling relationship.

Qualifying a person is an integral part of the human mating ritual.

Imagine a male and female bird and how the male flamboyantly shows off his colors as the female “inspects” his goods. She scrutinizes everything about him from the way he displays his colors to the actual colors to how he moves.

What she is doing is qualifying her future mate. She wants to be more than sure he is worth her time and more importantly in the animal world, worthy of her future offspring.

Men and women are not much different except our rituals are a little more complicated. We’ve developed some pretty elaborate forms of qualifying each other to find our best mate, although some might argue that in the modern world – we’re failing at it.

(What do you think? Are as humans dumbing ourselves down? You can leave your answer in the comment section below.)

When a woman is qualifying a man we typically call it a “test” and you can read all about that in this amazing page I wrote: Understanding A Woman’s Test and How To Pass Them. BUT those tests  are only a piece of the qualification process.

Men do test women too but there’s less known about exactly how it happens and if you look closely at the early interactions of a guy – you could miss it entirely because, just maybe, he’s not as good at it, doesn’t do it much at all, or doesn’t want to do it because he’s more concerned with passing her tests.

For example: I’ve been giving advice to a friend who is constantly worried about making mistakes. He spends way too much time thinking about what he might do wrong that he completely forgets about qualifying her first. It’s as if he’ll almost accept any behavior from a woman just as long as she likes him or accepts him and approves of him.

Which is wrong on so many levels and does little to building a real relationship with a good woman. This imbalance often leads to major  problems in the future and many dating problems along the way.

All in all – learning and knowing HOW to qualify a woman to meet your needs and desires is extremely important part of dating and should never be avoided IF you want to attract better relationships into your life.

The sad but truth is: You will NEVER find a better woman unless you first qualify her. You might get lucky, sure. It “could” happen. But why rely on luck when you can rely on something proven to work.

For now: Stop worrying so much about passing her little tests and START testing her and the rest will fall in place much easier and much more efficiently. More on her tests later.

Get a Girlfriend Tip #2: Adopt the attitude of the Interviewer…

QUALIFICATION, Qualification, qualification.

It’s all about qualification, my friend. The only way you can maintain a strong and confident attitude out there is to be the chooser – not the chosen.

What Do You Really Want? Here Are Seven Tips To Get A Girlfriend

How do you qualify a woman?

Couple Better Relationship Qualify

First thing first – knowing the type of woman you want with the knowledge that she is actually the right type for you. This basically means, sure you might have an idea or a vague image of her – but then you must also be objective enough to know if her type does indeed match your type.

Very generally – couples often fill in their weaker areas. You’re good at some things. She’s good at other things. Together you make more than one plus one.

BUT the secret most people miss is that, within your own self you MUST be capable, satisfied, happy, and feel good about yourself. You can NOT USE your partner to fill yourself up to make you feel better about yourself. The pieces you add only ENHANCE your already magnificent self.

As it’s said:

“If you’re not happy being single, you won’t be happy in a relationship. You may be too eager to find a girlfriend. Sure it feels good. Regular sex. A woman to hang out with. But it doesn’t make you a happy couple. Spread yourself. Date many women. Make yourself secure and happy before you get into a relationship.”

Being Single is Just as Good! Do You Need a Girlfriend To Be Happy?

Know yourself, your stronger points and your weaker areas, and know what kind or type of woman you’re looking for that will enhance, not fill or generally complete your life.

The qualities most men look for in a woman tend to be very basic. There are not many men out there who are actually looking for a miserable woman who treats people like shit. With that said – go ABOVE those basic items and search for true compatibility in relation to your personality type.

Sure, qualify her for the good stuff, nothing wrong with that and it’s a good thing BUT also look beyond the basics.

Look for more than just a pretty face, a nice smile, and a kind demeanor.

Since this isn’t an article on finding your perfect woman I’m going to skip forward. If you want to read a little more about knowing whether a woman is right for you, try these two articles I’ve posted here at DiaLteG TM: 7 Ways to Tell & Test If You Are Settling For the Wrong Person and How Do You Know If You’ll Make A Good Couple, Become Exclusive Or Not?

Onward…

Five Steps to Qualifying A Woman Which Can Lead to a Better Relationship

Steps Behind Beautiful Woman Qualify

STEP #1:  Admit to yourself right now you CAN be the selector!

You CAN be a man who has choices with women. You don’t ever have to settle with a woman who is far below from what you want or expect.

If you feel like you have no choices you will in fact give yourself no options.

Sure, qualifying is about her but it starts with you. The first step in becoming a better qualifier is believing you are worth it. There are no ways around this.

Not only does having high standards and expecting women to match you lead to better relationships they also make you a more attractive man. Women WANT guys who believe in themselves. Who are confident in themselves. Who have CHOICES.

Thus choosing your ideal partner reinforces in her mind that she is also attracting you. It works both ways. In the words of Scot McKay…

You are NOT average! You DO deserve who is best for you.

“No one is average. You do deserve a wonderful partner. Couples find each other because they don’t listen to bad stuff. They don’t feel average. They’re not arrogant. They know themselves. You’re not average.”

But I’m ‘Average,’ How Can I Possibly Deserve The Partner Of My Dreams?

You may be asking how this qualifies a woman, or how does this relate to using certain skills or techniques in the process…

Easy – because when you ACT or INTERACT with women from a selector’s view (humbly speaking and far from arrogant) it challenges women to match you and if she can not or doesn’t meet your wants or needs, it becomes more obvious to you that she’s not the on you’re looking for in a partner.

And what’s best of all about this is you don’t have to do anything more, play any games or tricks, or anything you might find deceitful or manipulative… all you have to do is BELIEVE IN YOURSELF and/or find a way to make that happen with some “inner game” work.

If you do nothing else – DO this one and you might not need any other tools at all.

Of course – more tools or real skills in figuring her out is always helpful so let’s go to step 2…

STEP #2: Learn everything you can on how women test men.

Once you study them you’ll notice the patterns and you’ll begin to see it happening in practically every one of your interactions with women.

Remember this just doesn’t happen between men and women – socially speaking it’s a big part of each and everyone of our lives – from your boss to your best friend to the guy who wants your job or respect and even at a supermarket – everyone’s jostling for validation, approval, qualification – call it whatever you like and often they form or come out in tests between us.

The purpose for learning these tests is of course to pass them but that’s obvious and is not so much about qualifying a woman.

Learning about these test puts you in a great position to see and notice the difference between the subconscious tests and the conscious tests up to and including the GAMES women might play on you.

If you know she’s playing nasty games then you should assume she’s not for you.

If she’s only doing what is expected even from you (with the tests) then you can be assured she’s only making sure you are right for her and on that level, it’s okay AND it’s good. You do NOT want a woman who is only settling for you. She could be using you for money or something superficial. She could not be the into you. She could effectively just not be a nice person – which is real bad.

Learn her tests. See how they work and why they work and why they’re given and what they mean. Here’s my page to help you with it: Understanding A Woman’s Test and How To Pass Them.

Once you’re there then you can move on to the next step…

STEP #3: Test women right back.

This is where you get to create attraction and at the same time be fun and creative. This is where you learn to challenge her on many levels. This is where you establish yourself as having a high enough value to expect more than just looks or an average woman in your life.

You want more – learn how to get more. Expect more. Demand that you won’t settle for mediocrity in your life especially when it comes to a woman sharing your bed.

Trust me – women have higher respect for men who want more than just a quick lay or an easy relationship because one bows down at every whim.

They WANT to be challenged fully. They want emotional charges. They don’t want to sit around bored shit-less because the main character in their lives is just a guy who felt like he settled for her. THAT only makes her feel worthless and unappreciated.

Your tests will be different than a woman’s and I will warn you – your tests are (or may be) more consciously done so you need to be VERY careful in what you do or say. It’s all too easy to come off as some arrogant prick. It’s all too easy to be seen as a passive-aggressive prick too because going there, makes you one.

The key to “testing” a woman for qualification is normally done through your conversations with her and when done any other way is normally just a mind game. Do it and women will feel or sense they are being played thus negating any test you do.

(I’ve done lots of research on this subject and found no answer to disprove this “theory” of mine. IF you have anything to refute my findings, I’m interested in hearing them to satisfying my mind and learning process.)

Your “testing her back” then comes down to how you respond to her tests (by passing them) and how you communicate to her in a way (mostly through conversations) which reveals to you who she really is and whether she’s someone you want to spend more time with.

Hence the qualification.

Next step we will deal with those conversational techniques…

STEP #4: Practice and refine your conversational skills in a way which qualifies her to you.

You’ll probably screw this up at first but that’s a good thing because it means you’re learning. Failing is just a great way to show you what works and what doesn’t so don’t be afraid to fail and don’t let it stop you from trying.

This is not a win or lose game – and just by trying to qualify her through your conversations, whether you suck at it in the beginning or not, will make you out to be an attractive guy who values himself and puts a real worth on the women he wants in his personal life.

If you’re like me – you’re also going to piss off a few women but as long as you’re not an overly rude bastard – she ( they ) will get over it.

(Remember if she’s getting upset superficially – or over nothing too extreme,  then your “test” revealed how well she handles her emotions and how cool of a “chic” she is AND her sense of humor too so… .You’ve just “disqualified” one major pain in the ass from being let in your life. One less possibly failed and miserable relationship.)

Here’s how it works in it’s most primitive form.

Flirt with her – does she flirt back? Yes, cool.

Basic shit, yes I know. But you’d be surprised by how many men and women don’t think like that. They flirt, she flirts back and right away they’re thinking, “Cool, she likes me.” What they SHOULD be thinking is, “She’s a flirt. I like a woman who flirts back and plays along with my role-playing fun.”

This is the whole point of qualifying a woman, again in it’s most simplistic form.

Now…

Ask her about her family? Does she get upset or automatically start bitching about them? Not good. Her first emotional response to a simple question gives you all the insight you’ll need to either proceed or back off.

Bring up sex? Does she get easily offended? Does she avoid talking about it? Does she tell you about the last guy she slept with?

EVERY answer she gives you is a way to dive deep into her personality IF you know what questions to ask and how to ask them.

The key is it LISTEN to what she says and how she responds and whether they match your criteria.

This is NOT the same as sitting across a dinner table and asking boring questions and expecting something more than boring answers. In that case you maybe didn’t find a boring women, YOU are the one who is boring. See the difference?

Again the key things here you MUST know for all this to work is:

  • Knowing the type of woman you want in your life.
  • Knowing what kind of questions to ask which are related to that type.
  • Knowing how to ask them in a way which not only makes good conversation but makes the interaction fun AND creates attraction at the same time.
  • Knowing how to read her answers which means LISTENING & WATCHING her responses so you’re connecting it all together.
  • Paying ATTENTION and not ignoring her answers or the manner in which she responds for any reason at all.

Kind of makes you feel like an interrogator, doesn’t it? Well in a way, the tactics are very similar AND this is a skill which is learned. Some do it more naturally than others but it’s still a skill so it must be practiced, refined, and learned.

All the while DATE lots of women to experience the different responses. Use every available “communication” device to boost your learning curve such as in texting, talking on the phone, and through your social media account.

The good thing about this “style of communication” is that you don’t have to be dating a woman to learn and practice it. You can do it with ANYONE, anywhere, at anytime you wish AND you’ll learn so much more about the person you’re talking to, you won’t want to do it any other way ever again.

This is also a skill which requires tact and subtlety or else you will come across as some cop whose trying to find out whether they’re guilty or not:

Approach Woman Converastion

“Let’s say a cop suspects a guy of robbing a house on Main Street last night around midnight. The wrong way to phrase the question would be, “Were you on Main Street last night at midnight?”

This allows the suspect to simply answer “no” and leave it at that. It is an easy question to dodge. The more effective question is always, “Where were you last night at midnight?”

Note the difference. Now the crook is forced to elaborate and come up with an explanation.

He may hesitate ( which indicates guilt ), or he may be forced into a lie ( which can be turned against him ).

Not that you’ll NEVER want to take an “interrogation” tone with women, but understand the difference between asking a yes/no question, and encouraging a more thoughtful response.

Cliché question: “So do you come here often?”

Mack question: “You strike me as a girl who has her finger on the pulse of this town. Tell me your top three spots when you go out on the weekends.”

How Creative Phrases Penetrates A Deeper Conversation When Approaching A Woman

This conversational technique is amazing and all things aside, if you get really good at this, you can break through her persona and dig deep into her true character within a very short time. It’s a life/time saver in dating.

So… do your homework. Work it out. Give it some time to develop and you WILL GET RESULTS.

No more just asking questions hoping she’ll like you or because you think that’s what you’re supposed to do, or because talking is something you just do on a date or when you’re hanging out with someone.

Connect with her on a level which:

  • Gets her qualifying herself to you. (Creates attraction.)
  • Reveals her true character. (Builds connection and rapport.)
  • Gives you insight into whether she’s the actual type you seek. (Read her answers and responses. Actually LISTEN.)
  • Make sure it’s fun, playful, and don’t be so serious about it.

(Any questions… leave them below and we can talk about it when I get a chance.)

One last thing before we move on to step 5.

As I mentioned above this works on EVERYONE and is part of the social system we live and interact with everyday.

If you’re interested this sort of thing above and beyond just talking or qualifying women, maybe you’re sick of people playing games with you, being dicks, or you love this style so much you’re eager to break through and start seeing people for who they really are and not who they claim to be…

GET THIS: The Power Of Social Skills. Seriously dynamite stuff. There are over 144 games exposed so you can spot them and treat them however you like BUT more importantly for today’s post – You WILL gain the real power of qualification.

Check it out. I think you’ll know just like it, but find it useful in each and every interaction you have in your life – everyday.

“In nearly every person with any great level of success and fulfillment in their lives, the only thing that mattered was how well they managed the other people in their lives.

Avoid manipulators & games. Develop Social Intuition. Build Authentic Connections” – The Power Of Social Skills

Onto step 5…

STEP #5: Integrating it seamlessly into your personality.

This step looks great on paper but in reality is much harder to explain HOW and to have it work. You hear this type of advice everywhere but are mostly offered nothing tangible to help you. It’s almost like saying to someone, “Ohh you just need to get out more.” OR “Stop worrying so much about it.” as if either lame answer is the real solution to what you’re experiencing.

I will honestly do my best NOT to do that to you IF (and only if) you agree and understand this is not an easy thing to do and if I fail, so be it. Anything you want to offer or contribute will gladly and happily be added below.

How DO you integrate qualifying another woman into your personality?

Well, truthfully, you don’t. You can not TRY to push something upon yourself and expect results.

And that is good news because it makes this step a breeze. Not trying is an easy thing to do, right? I’ll explain.

When I first started learning about all this stuff like attraction techniques, social skills, qualifying, etc… I had to manually put it into play. It wasn’t like a plug-and-play system. I couldn’t just insert some new programming language in my brain and have it come out just like it was written. It’s humanly impossible. (As if you didn’t know that!)

BUT… something DID happen over time. I stopped trying and getting in my own way and there it was – it just came out.

You’re going to find a certain point in your life too where TRYING anything harder or more, will actually stop you from doing the very thing you want done and it’s a frustrating feeling that’s hard to escape.

You must practice all the steps at first. You need to find a new and different way of interacting with women which deems you as an attractive “qualifier” so to speak.

This takes time, patience, objectivity, failure, success, resilience, strength, determination, and dedication.

Well guess what – that list above – describes a VERY attractive guy. The same approach to getting this handled with those traits will AUTOMATICALLY make you a more attractive man. You’re not trying to be attractive, you’re just going through the process… (“Balls to the Walls Boys” – if you don’t know that reference, I probably shouldn’t explain but since I might be the only one who gets it, it’s from Down Periscope. Look it up.) and by doing so… you become that person.

The same works for all these qualification techniques as it does in everything else in your life.

Sooner or later you must stop trying and allow them to happen as long as you’ve put in the practice and get out of your own way – it WILL happen. 

When that line happens, when you cross from trying to it happening by itself differs from person to person but I guarantee it IS there. It WILL happen.

Integrating these things into  your personality is no more than taking off the crutches or “training wheels” and seeing if it’s ready to come out by TRUSTING in yourself and in your abilities.

If you take them off too early and you fall down, no problem… Try again. Sooner or later (much quicker than you might imagine too) you will be flying solo – you will have integrated it into your personality.

It WILL just become a natural part of who you are just the same as you develop bad habits – GOOD habits (which are by far more rewarding too) can be developed and put into good use.

I think I’ve said enough about that…

In conclusion:

Better relationships take time. Going from one to the next without qualifying your partner may end up being a waste of that time. You won’t be doing her any favors and you certainly won’t be doing yourself any favors.

Knowing how to qualify a woman and the steps you need to make it happen isn’t so difficult that you might feel the need to skip the process and because the process alone – creates a more attractive you.

Through qualification you’re creating attraction. Setting yourself up as an individual with value and upholds certain high standards with respect to those you allow you in your life. Be it a girlfriend, a wife, or just a current dating partner.

Don’t stand blindly aside and let things happen. Don’t be afraid to expect more and in the same way – expect more from yourself too – it just makes better relationships.

Know what you want in a woman – EVERYTHING – and believe she does exist and that you are fully capable of finding her, qualifying her, and attracting her too.

Give BOTH of you the best chance in developing a longer-lasting, happy, healthy, and fulfilling relationship.

Thanks for stopping by and I do hope I’ve helped you out in some way and that this article over-delivered and gave you more than enough information to further your qualifying experience.

If you liked it and want more of what DiaLteG TM stands for: Go ahead and sign up below. Any questions, comments, advice, personal experience, tips, anything to help yourself and any guy visiting this page, and me too – make sure you .

About the author: Creator of the nice guy approach, why do guys, why do chics, and DiaLteG TM. Transformed from a nice guy kiss ass who wanted women to like me for “who I was” to an attractive “good guy” who knows what it takes to create attraction and succeed with women, dating, and relationships.

Please LIKE or SHARE my Facebook fan pages: Why Do Chics…? | DiaLteG TM OR JOIN the best group on women at Why Do Chics…?. Find and follow me on Twitter – Peter White.

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8 comments… add one
  • Michael

    Peter,

    Can you give some examples of qualification questions you ask women when you approach/ talk to them. 5 good questions would be very appreciated.

    • Of course. No problem. Your specific questions my be different than mine so try to keep that in mind. Qualifying a woman is about what you want so our qualifications may be different.

      For example I prefer women who are passionate about their goals. I also prefer women in which their goals meet my social values. What I do is challenge them to step up to meeting my criteria. I qualify her by centering questions around those topics and dig deeper into who she really is.

      After shaking her hand pull back and say,
      ME:”Woah easy there. No need to squeeze my hand. I get it. You’re exciting about meeting me. But my fingers are killing me from writing all day. You break a finger you’re going to have to support me. THE QUALIFYING QUESTION/STATEMENT ( I hope you make enough money for the both of us…)

      HER: “Yeah right I’m a hairdresser. You’re on your own there.

      ME: (inspecting her hair) (QUALIFYING STATEMENT)”You must do your own hair.

      HER: “Hey what do you mean by that???!!

      Me: “Oh nothing. Nothing at all. Ahem Ahem…My hair would be a mess if i had to spend all day fixing everyone else’s hair. (QUALIFYING QUESTION) “Have you ever decided to not go out because you refused to put your hair up in a pony tail and you just couldn’t stand to touch another piece of hair?“(although not too great because she may just answer yes)

      HER: “No way. I love doing hair….”

      There we go. She’s passionate about her career and since you’re qualifying her she understands you’re a guy who selectively chooses women that are passionate about what they do.

      Now if you’re looking for a woman who is active athletically and doesn’t have too many compulsive disorders, follow the formula above. Mention modestly something about you. Then use a qualifying statement or two. Then lead her to step up to your challenge with a qualifying question.

      ME: “Hey. My sister has those exact sneakers. In fact she’s a little OCD about it. When she finds a pair she likes she buys two or three of the same ones. Please tell me that’s your only pair.

      HER: “Well… actually…

      ME: “Oh no let me guess. You own over thirty pairs of shoes and half of them are sneakers. I bet you buy a new pair before you even wear one out. A different pair of sneakers for every day you go jogging to match how you’re feelings. Which mood do those represent?

      HER: “These are my ‘you’re rude type’ and you better watch out because you might find these rammed up in your butt and Mr. Crass.

      ME: “Ouch. Never had a pair of size twelves up that far before.

      HER: “Twelve. You’re going to get your ass kicked. Haha! But no I only jog a few times a week to keep in shape. I mostly…

      Here are some attitude examples:
      QUALIFYING POSITIVITY: “Now that’s a smile. Did you win the lottery today?
      QUALIFYING MANNERS: “Excuse you. Didn’t your mother ever teach you cover your mouth when you yawn?
      QUALIFYING STABILITY: “My boss once surprised me by calling in someone else to work. When I showed up he said, go change we’re going… If your boss did that to you what would you do?
      (this qualifies stability because her answer will let you know how hectic her life is)
      QUALIFYING SPONTANEITY: “Don’t you ever feel like just getting in your car and driving some place fun? A place you haven’t been too since you were a kid.

      Hope that helps Michael. If this helps you’re always challenging me with your questions. So in a way you’re qualifying me to step up my game. You make me think and step up to the challenge. The only difference with women is you need to blend in confident fun humor, flirting and try to always begin by telling something interesting about yourself. That way she tries to step up to your level and qualify herself to you.

      Oh one last thing. Never rule out qualifying her for a relationship. It works great but it’s a bit tougher. She needs to understand you don’t let looks, fame, or money sway your decisions on who you will date or get into a committed relationship with.

      Hey Miss Famous. Where’s your entourage?” – to a smug girl or a woman who looks tired of being hit on.
      I have a ten date minimum before any deep affectionate kisses.” – to a woman who is progressing too fast.
      You seem pretty cool. If you promise not to introduce me to your Mom we’ll go out again real soon.

      Remember if you’re doing online dating to creatively mention any and all qualifications she must meet in order for you to commit to her. Just be honest about it and it will work. Congruence is important in this area. Don’t say you only date blondes when you’re willing to settle for less.

      I could write a complete post on all those.

      Any more questions just let me know. If you’re struggling with this comment back a very specific quality you are looking for in a woman and I’ll see what I can do for you.

      Talk to you soon.

  • Michael

    Thanks, Peter. I see your questions were very specific to what you’re looking for. This is a question, i’m thinking about adding to my qualification repertoire.

    Me – ” You know you’re a very attractive women, but you know there’s lot of attractive women everywhere, what would you say makes you different than the others?”

    ^ It’s kind of a basic question,but it’s what first comes to my mind,as an effective way to TEST attractive women that i’m interested in( weather that be on a date, or during the approach)

    • You’re welcome.

      I think you got the idea down right. It is a direct approach and some women will respond favorably to it. But I’ve found when it comes to the majority of hotter women it’s already been done to them many times. First of all if she’s attractive she already knows it, so why bother telling her. Secondly there’s always a creative approach which will make you stand out above the others. Being direct can be good and like I said can work when it comes to showing her you’re a leader but I don’t think it works as well as it may seem when you’re qualifying her.

      Here is another way of saying the same thing,

      “Haha! You know that guy over there’s been checking you out for like minutes now. Hey!! Don’t look. That’s rude. I just can’t take you anywhere can I? Ut oh, I think he’s getting up and coming our way. He must really think you’re hot.”

      As she does her best to restrain from not looking you can bust on her a little more, smirk and say,
      “Do you get that a lot or am I making you look better?”

      You’re indirectly telling her you think she is attractive and she gets it. You’re also being just a little cocky and showing you’re confident enough to say it. But she’s not sure if you’re serious or not.. You’re qualifying her in the same way as your question but you’re doing it a fun attractive way. And trust me she knows what you’re doing but a really cool woman will love it.

      Now it’s up to you to decide if how she responds makes her personality more attractive or less. If she’s into you a little she will attempt to get on your status level. If she’s really cool she’ll play along and do her best to turn this situation in her favor. Which again is her qualifying herself to you. All you have to do is keep ‘upping the ante’ and don’t let her call you on your bluff. (So to Speak.)

      The great part of this kind of approach is if she’s a very attractive woman you can almost bet other guys are checking her out. And there’s so many ways you can go about it which will depend on the current surroundings or where you two are in dating.

  • Michael

    A quality that i would say i’m looking for specifically in a woman is LOYALTY. Loyalty is probably the most important trait in a relationship(of any kind) that really tells you all you need to know about a person,and weather they should be in your life,and if you can trust them or not…..

    • Loyalty is a tough one because women know without a doubt when you’re testing her in this area. She will begin to question your past relationships and she’ll question if you have jealousy issues or if you’ve been cheated on too often. (Making her think you must be doing something wrong if all these girls are cheating on you.) That is why qualifying questions may not work in this area unless you’re a master conversationalist. The last thing you want her to do is to start dumping on you her problematic past relationships because if you find you really like her she’ll probably just want to be friends.

      If you really want her to qualify her loyalty to you you give her more space than she can take.

      Set yourself apart from other guys by being way too comfortable letting her do her own thing. You test for loyalty by letting her understand you’re okay if she decides to be with someone else. In fact you’re so confident about it other men don’t even matter to you. If you can do that and stand by your convictions, in other words have a totally congruent attitude, when this woman falls for you, you’ll see just how many women would never consider cheating on you.

      Also think about how many women you’ve known who chose the worst possible guy for them yet they keep giving him a second chance without ever straying themselves.

      Try to think of this loyalty issue from another perspective. You give a woman every reason to be with you and I’m willing to bet you can trust her to the end of the earth and she will never cheat. Especially because lots of women don’t put sex as that important of an issue in their lives. As least not as much as men do. Generally speaking of course.

      If you must qualify her in this area make sure you do it separately from relationships. Try telling her a cute little secret and tease her about keeping it or not,

      “You caught me. I’m a nice guy but it’s our little secret.”
      “Can you keep a secret…I think you’re falling for me. Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone.”
      “If you let my secret out I’m going to call your Mom and find out all the skeletons in your closet.”

      I still think it’s more important to understand that when you’re confident enough to get and keep any women attracted to you, this loyalty thing won’t be a problem at all. And as long as you keep doing what was working with her she will have no reason but to be loyal to her new man, Michael.

      Hope that helps and if you struggle in this area go to work immediately on being indifferent by always raising your self-worth.

      (There are also cute little trust games you can play with her which are fun…like “close your eyes I’ve got something for you.”, then walk away leaving her wondering. This proves your indifference and says you’re a fun guy.)

      Let me know what you come up with.

      Later for now.

  • ME

    How about this: Is your inside beauty more prettier than your outer one? If she says yes, well, she may likes you, or just telling the truth, and if she says no, than you are rejected, but she said basically that her inside beauty is not so nice, so that rejection could not be bad…although some of them respond with maybe, to avoid an answer, but then, again, you could joke like it’s a tough question for her, so you will still have an edge.

    • Hey ME – The concept is good but women generally want you to find that information out for yourself. Just asking won’t give you a real response.

      Also it implies something negative like – “I hope you’re better looking on the inside than you are on the outside.” and without humor attached would probably just seem mean.

      Either way I don’t think it’s good at qualifying a woman.

      The concept is good because while her outward appearance might draw you in, her “inner beauty” will keep you around.

      But again, finding that out must be done by other means because for one:

      Most people believe, deep down their intentions are good and will take offense.

      Two: Saying something is one thing but “actions” are more reliable. I can tell you what a great guy I am until I’m blue in the face but it won’t make me a great guy. See the difference?

      Read the key points above again:

      Are the challenging her in a fun way?

      Are they flirty and show her indirectly you might be into her looks but it’s not ALL you’re into?
      (…)
      NOW LET’S ADD – Do they create emotionally charged responses?

      Whereas your question might create an emotionally charged response it’s not done in a fun flirty way, which indirectly tells her you’re into her looks but you’re looking for more.

      Yours is a direct question with no humor attached.

      Again – it’s a great idea – it shows you’re looking deeper and you’re trying this whole “qualification” thing and you’re looking for some great questions.

      And yes, for some women you’ll get some charged up emotional answer depending on how she takes it.

      Just keep in mind – what you’re asking is what you’re trying to find out and doing it directly like this doesn’t create attraction in the literal sense.

      It would be better to tease her or lead her into something where she’s acting a little mean on the inside ( humorously ) and the bust her ass over it.

      That way her response would be more genuine, you’ll get her charged up, laughing, she’ll show her real self, she’ll have more fun with it AND you’ll be creating attraction at the same time without trying.

      Something like – “Wow, you’re eyes are mesmerizing. Is that why I’m detecting a little devil inside?”

      I believe the idea is to lightly and playfully accuse her of being bad.

      Turn it around and have fun with it.

      Thanks for writing ME and hope this helps you figure out this whole qualification thing better.

      Keep going with it,

      Pete

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