Are You Qualifying Her? – Attracting Women & Better Relationships

Learning how to attract more fulfilling relationships with the right woman is in one way about knowing how to qualify her.

When you qualify a woman the right way you do several things:

  • You create attraction in many ways up to and including getting a woman to qualify herself to you.
  • You're showing her you have high standards minus the arrogance.
  • Your assurance to yourself that she is the right type of woman you're looking for.
  • You're looking deeper into who she is in a way that is hard to fake. You're seeing past and beyond her persona, and looking for any real character flaws she may have which can be problematic in the future.

If and when you decide to further a relationship with her, through better qualification techniques...

You're giving BOTH of you the best chance in developing a longer-lasting, happy, healthy, and fulfilling relationship.

Qualifying a person is an integral part of the human mating ritual.

Imagine a male and female bird and how the male flamboyantly shows off his colors as the female "inspects" his goods. She scrutinizes everything about him from the way he displays his colors to the actual colors to how he moves.

What she is doing is qualifying her future mate. She wants to be more than sure he is worth her time and more importantly in the animal world, worthy of her future offspring.

Men and women are not much different except our rituals are a little more complicated.

We've developed some pretty elaborate forms of qualifying each other to find our best mate, although some might argue that in the modern world - we're failing at it.

(What do you think? Are as humans dumbing ourselves down? You can leave your answer in the comment section below.)

When a woman is qualifying a man we typically call it a "test" and you can read all about that in this amazing page I wrote:

Understanding A Woman’s Test and How To Pass Them.

BUT those tests  are only a piece of the qualification process.

Men do test women too but there's less known about exactly how it happens and if you look closely at the early interactions of a guy - you could miss it entirely because, just maybe, he's not as good at it, doesn't do it much at all, or doesn't want to do it because he's more concerned with passing her tests.

For example:

I've been giving advice to a friend who is constantly worried about making mistakes.

He spends way too much time thinking about what he might do wrong that he completely forgets about qualifying her first.

It's as if he'll almost accept any behavior from a woman just as long as she likes him or accepts him and approves of him.

Which is wrong on so many levels and does little to building a real relationship with a good woman. This imbalance often leads to major  problems in the future and many dating problems along the way.

All in all - learning and knowing HOW to qualify a woman to meet your needs and desires is extremely important part of dating and should never be avoided IF you want to attract better relationships into your life.

The sad but truth is:

You will NEVER find a better woman unless you first qualify her.

You might get lucky, sure. It "could" happen. But why rely on luck when you can rely on something proven to work.

For now:

Stop worrying so much about passing her little tests and START testing her and the rest will fall in place much easier and much more efficiently.

More on her tests later.

Get a Girlfriend Tip #2: Adopt the attitude of the Interviewer…

QUALIFICATION, Qualification, qualification.

It’s all about qualification, my friend. The only way you can maintain a strong and confident attitude out there is to be the chooser – not the chosen.

What Do You Really Want? Here Are Seven Tips To Get A Girlfriend

How do you qualify a woman?

Couple Better Relationship Qualify

First thing first - knowing the type of woman you want with the knowledge that she is actually the right type for you. This basically means, sure you might have an idea or a vague image of her - but then you must also be objective enough to know if her type does indeed match your type.

Very generally - couples often fill in their weaker areas. You're good at some things. She's good at other things. Together you make more than one plus one.

BUT the secret most people miss is that, within your own self you MUST be capable, satisfied, happy, and feel good about yourself.

You can NOT USE your partner to fill yourself up to make you feel better about yourself.

The pieces you add only ENHANCE your already magnificent self.

As it's said:

"If you’re not happy being single, you won’t be happy in a relationship.

You may be too eager to find a girlfriend. Sure it feels good. Regular sex. A woman to hang out with.

But it doesn’t make you a happy couple.

Spread yourself.

Date many women.

Make yourself secure and happy before you get into a relationship."

Being Single is Just as Good! Do You Need a Girlfriend To Be Happy?

Know yourself, your stronger points and your weaker areas, and know what kind or type of woman you're looking for that will enhance, not fill or generally complete your life.

The qualities most men look for in a woman tend to be very basic. There are not many men out there who are actually looking for a miserable woman who treats people like shit.

With that said...

Go ABOVE those basic items and search for true compatibility in relation to your personality type.

Sure, qualify her for the good stuff, nothing wrong with that and it's a good thing BUT also look beyond the basics.

Look for more than just a pretty face, a nice smile, and a kind demeanor.

Since this isn't an article on finding your perfect woman I'm going to skip forward.

If you want to read a little more about knowing whether a woman is right for you, try these two articles I've posted here at DiaLteG TM:

7 Ways to Tell & Test If You Are Settling For the Wrong Person and...

How Do You Know If You’ll Make A Good Couple, Become Exclusive Or Not?


Five Steps to Qualifying A Woman Which Can Lead to a Better Relationship For You AND HER.

The rest of this content is only available to members of DiaLteG TM.

Become a member to today to release this post, all thirteen chapters and 14 incredible bonuses!

This is the second page of chapter ten - Qualifications - How To Find The Right Woman For You & Avoid Rejection.

Finding the perfect woman for you requires you to learn how to qualify the best mate for you - or else you could experience failed relationships and more drama in your life - that you don't want or have to suffer through.

This page shows you exactly how to set the women you're now attracting apart from the rest - to find the best available partner and enjoy a long lasting relationship.

DiaLteG TM has not and will never be about using tricks to get laid and this chapter, among many others are designed for men who want to be with the woman of their dreams.

  • Learn the steps of qualification and what they mean.
  • Find the confidence and mindset of deserving a great woman.
  • Women know how to test instinctively - this is how you can test them back minus the nasty game playing.
  • How to talk to women in a way which creates and amplifies attraction but also gets them to reveal their inner character to you - so you're not wasting your time on a woman who is not right for you.
  • How to integrate all of it into your personality so you automatically do it with every woman you interact with - so it all comes natural.
  • How to set yourself up as an individual with high value and upholds certain highers standards with respect to those you allow you in your life.

Don't stand blindly aside and let things happen.

Don't be afraid to expect more and in the same way - expect more from yourself too - it just makes better relationships.

Know what you want in a woman - EVERYTHING - and believe she does exist and that you are fully capable of finding her, qualifying her, and attracting her too.

Give BOTH of you the best chance in developing a longer-lasting, happy, healthy, and fulfilling relationship.

Within your starter chapter you WILL learn EXACTLY what must happen and how you must make a woman feel - BEFORE she will EVER feel attracted to you... plus:

  • How to get a hot girlfriend
  • Passing all her tests & challenging women
  • Avoiding rejection & overcoming social anxieties
  • Approaching, meeting, & dating is all covered
  • The COMPLETE Nice guys guide to attracting women
  • 14 expert bonuses from flirting to getting women horny

Become a member of DiaLteG TM today and Learn How to Attract Your Perfect Woman!

No More Guessing – Get Real Answers!

DiaLteG Perfect Woman

Sorry, not everything at DiaLteG Tm is available everyone.

CLICK HERE to unlock over 300,00 words of expert advice and simple ways about how to attract women naturally.

Go Here, Become A Member and Attract Your Perfect Woman… Naturally!

22 Signs Of Attraction & Interest A Woman Will ALWAYS Give Youu!

Her Attraction Signs Signals Cover

♦ What happens when you have fears of being sexually unattractive. Six ways you make it worse but comes with an easy fix.

♦ A simple method you can use immediately with any woman to know exactly how she is interested in you. Do this every time and watch the results. No more guessing about friends, dating, or just sex!

♦ How to interpret a woman’s signals and the order of their importance. She only has 3 which makes learning them easy and highly important to memorize for best results.

♦ The secrets of escalating from eye contact to physical intimacy. If the thought of getting physical with a woman makes you nervous – This is for you!

♦ The absolute reality behind her every sign and signal of attraction and what it really means to you and your relationships with women.

♦ Over 22 signs of attraction & interest – 39 Pages, ALL for free!

Sign in below for your free download:

“22 Signs Of Attraction & Interest A Woman Will ALWAYS Give You”

Stop wasting time with women who only will EVER want to be your friend!


Dave here (…) I never put it use in my social life probably because I was raised to believe only “sluts” want sex and who wants a slut, right? Right now she is looking pretty good. LOL (…)  making me feel better about many things I just wanted to say I am glad I accidentally ran across your site and to say Thank You and keep up the good work. 

Thank You again your awesome and your teachings are also, Dave Allen

About the author: Peter White – I know a few things about life, dating, attraction, & relationships. It feels great to share & also helps pay some bills. Get in touch, become a member, and hope you get something useful out of it all.

Previous post:

Next post:

The article is posted in these Categories: Attraction – The Emotional Instinctual Trigger – A Skill You Can Learn, Attractive Mindsets – A Different Positive Way Of Looking At Everything, Getting A Girlfriend – Build a Great Relationship With A Woman You Love

Leave a Comment

8 comments… add one
  • ME

    How about this: Is your inside beauty more prettier than your outer one? If she says yes, well, she may likes you, or just telling the truth, and if she says no, than you are rejected, but she said basically that her inside beauty is not so nice, so that rejection could not be bad…although some of them respond with maybe, to avoid an answer, but then, again, you could joke like it’s a tough question for her, so you will still have an edge.

    • Hey ME – The concept is good but women generally want you to find that information out for yourself. Just asking won’t give you a real response.

      Also it implies something negative like – “I hope you’re better looking on the inside than you are on the outside.” and without humor attached would probably just seem mean.

      Either way I don’t think it’s good at qualifying a woman.

      The concept is good because while her outward appearance might draw you in, her “inner beauty” will keep you around.

      But again, finding that out must be done by other means because for one:

      Most people believe, deep down their intentions are good and will take offense.

      Two: Saying something is one thing but “actions” are more reliable. I can tell you what a great guy I am until I’m blue in the face but it won’t make me a great guy. See the difference?

      Read the key points above again:

      Are the challenging her in a fun way?

      Are they flirty and show her indirectly you might be into her looks but it’s not ALL you’re into?
      NOW LET’S ADD – Do they create emotionally charged responses?

      Whereas your question might create an emotionally charged response it’s not done in a fun flirty way, which indirectly tells her you’re into her looks but you’re looking for more.

      Yours is a direct question with no humor attached.

      Again – it’s a great idea – it shows you’re looking deeper and you’re trying this whole “qualification” thing and you’re looking for some great questions.

      And yes, for some women you’ll get some charged up emotional answer depending on how she takes it.

      Just keep in mind – what you’re asking is what you’re trying to find out and doing it directly like this doesn’t create attraction in the literal sense.

      It would be better to tease her or lead her into something where she’s acting a little mean on the inside ( humorously ) and the bust her ass over it.

      That way her response would be more genuine, you’ll get her charged up, laughing, she’ll show her real self, she’ll have more fun with it AND you’ll be creating attraction at the same time without trying.

      Something like – “Wow, you’re eyes are mesmerizing. Is that why I’m detecting a little devil inside?”

      I believe the idea is to lightly and playfully accuse her of being bad.

      Turn it around and have fun with it.

      Thanks for writing ME and hope this helps you figure out this whole qualification thing better.

      Keep going with it,


  • Michael

    A quality that i would say i’m looking for specifically in a woman is LOYALTY. Loyalty is probably the most important trait in a relationship(of any kind) that really tells you all you need to know about a person,and weather they should be in your life,and if you can trust them or not…..

    • Loyalty is a tough one because women know without a doubt when you’re testing her in this area. She will begin to question your past relationships and she’ll question if you have jealousy issues or if you’ve been cheated on too often. (Making her think you must be doing something wrong if all these girls are cheating on you.) That is why qualifying questions may not work in this area unless you’re a master conversationalist. The last thing you want her to do is to start dumping on you her problematic past relationships because if you find you really like her she’ll probably just want to be friends.

      If you really want her to qualify her loyalty to you you give her more space than she can take.

      Set yourself apart from other guys by being way too comfortable letting her do her own thing. You test for loyalty by letting her understand you’re okay if she decides to be with someone else. In fact you’re so confident about it other men don’t even matter to you. If you can do that and stand by your convictions, in other words have a totally congruent attitude, when this woman falls for you, you’ll see just how many women would never consider cheating on you.

      Also think about how many women you’ve known who chose the worst possible guy for them yet they keep giving him a second chance without ever straying themselves.

      Try to think of this loyalty issue from another perspective. You give a woman every reason to be with you and I’m willing to bet you can trust her to the end of the earth and she will never cheat. Especially because lots of women don’t put sex as that important of an issue in their lives. As least not as much as men do. Generally speaking of course.

      If you must qualify her in this area make sure you do it separately from relationships. Try telling her a cute little secret and tease her about keeping it or not,

      “You caught me. I’m a nice guy but it’s our little secret.”
      “Can you keep a secret…I think you’re falling for me. Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone.”
      “If you let my secret out I’m going to call your Mom and find out all the skeletons in your closet.”

      I still think it’s more important to understand that when you’re confident enough to get and keep any women attracted to you, this loyalty thing won’t be a problem at all. And as long as you keep doing what was working with her she will have no reason but to be loyal to her new man, Michael.

      Hope that helps and if you struggle in this area go to work immediately on being indifferent by always raising your self-worth.

      (There are also cute little trust games you can play with her which are fun…like “close your eyes I’ve got something for you.”, then walk away leaving her wondering. This proves your indifference and says you’re a fun guy.)

      Let me know what you come up with.

      Later for now.

  • Michael

    Thanks, Peter. I see your questions were very specific to what you’re looking for. This is a question, i’m thinking about adding to my qualification repertoire.

    Me – ” You know you’re a very attractive women, but you know there’s lot of attractive women everywhere, what would you say makes you different than the others?”

    ^ It’s kind of a basic question,but it’s what first comes to my mind,as an effective way to TEST attractive women that i’m interested in( weather that be on a date, or during the approach)

    • You’re welcome.

      I think you got the idea down right. It is a direct approach and some women will respond favorably to it. But I’ve found when it comes to the majority of hotter women it’s already been done to them many times. First of all if she’s attractive she already knows it, so why bother telling her. Secondly there’s always a creative approach which will make you stand out above the others. Being direct can be good and like I said can work when it comes to showing her you’re a leader but I don’t think it works as well as it may seem when you’re qualifying her.

      Here is another way of saying the same thing,

      “Haha! You know that guy over there’s been checking you out for like minutes now. Hey!! Don’t look. That’s rude. I just can’t take you anywhere can I? Ut oh, I think he’s getting up and coming our way. He must really think you’re hot.”

      As she does her best to restrain from not looking you can bust on her a little more, smirk and say,
      “Do you get that a lot or am I making you look better?”

      You’re indirectly telling her you think she is attractive and she gets it. You’re also being just a little cocky and showing you’re confident enough to say it. But she’s not sure if you’re serious or not.. You’re qualifying her in the same way as your question but you’re doing it a fun attractive way. And trust me she knows what you’re doing but a really cool woman will love it.

      Now it’s up to you to decide if how she responds makes her personality more attractive or less. If she’s into you a little she will attempt to get on your status level. If she’s really cool she’ll play along and do her best to turn this situation in her favor. Which again is her qualifying herself to you. All you have to do is keep ‘upping the ante’ and don’t let her call you on your bluff. (So to Speak.)

      The great part of this kind of approach is if she’s a very attractive woman you can almost bet other guys are checking her out. And there’s so many ways you can go about it which will depend on the current surroundings or where you two are in dating.

  • Michael


    Can you give some examples of qualification questions you ask women when you approach/ talk to them. 5 good questions would be very appreciated.

    • Of course. No problem. Your specific questions my be different than mine so try to keep that in mind. Qualifying a woman is about what you want so our qualifications may be different.

      For example I prefer women who are passionate about their goals. I also prefer women in which their goals meet my social values. What I do is challenge them to step up to meeting my criteria. I qualify her by centering questions around those topics and dig deeper into who she really is.

      After shaking her hand pull back and say,
      ME:”Woah easy there. No need to squeeze my hand. I get it. You’re exciting about meeting me. But my fingers are killing me from writing all day. You break a finger you’re going to have to support me. THE QUALIFYING QUESTION/STATEMENT ( I hope you make enough money for the both of us…)

      HER: “Yeah right I’m a hairdresser. You’re on your own there.

      ME: (inspecting her hair) (QUALIFYING STATEMENT)”You must do your own hair.

      HER: “Hey what do you mean by that???!!

      Me: “Oh nothing. Nothing at all. Ahem Ahem…My hair would be a mess if i had to spend all day fixing everyone else’s hair. (QUALIFYING QUESTION) “Have you ever decided to not go out because you refused to put your hair up in a pony tail and you just couldn’t stand to touch another piece of hair?“(although not too great because she may just answer yes)

      HER: “No way. I love doing hair….”

      There we go. She’s passionate about her career and since you’re qualifying her she understands you’re a guy who selectively chooses women that are passionate about what they do.

      Now if you’re looking for a woman who is active athletically and doesn’t have too many compulsive disorders, follow the formula above. Mention modestly something about you. Then use a qualifying statement or two. Then lead her to step up to your challenge with a qualifying question.

      ME: “Hey. My sister has those exact sneakers. In fact she’s a little OCD about it. When she finds a pair she likes she buys two or three of the same ones. Please tell me that’s your only pair.

      HER: “Well… actually…

      ME: “Oh no let me guess. You own over thirty pairs of shoes and half of them are sneakers. I bet you buy a new pair before you even wear one out. A different pair of sneakers for every day you go jogging to match how you’re feelings. Which mood do those represent?

      HER: “These are my ‘you’re rude type’ and you better watch out because you might find these rammed up in your butt and Mr. Crass.

      ME: “Ouch. Never had a pair of size twelves up that far before.

      HER: “Twelve. You’re going to get your ass kicked. Haha! But no I only jog a few times a week to keep in shape. I mostly…

      Here are some attitude examples:
      QUALIFYING POSITIVITY: “Now that’s a smile. Did you win the lottery today?
      QUALIFYING MANNERS: “Excuse you. Didn’t your mother ever teach you cover your mouth when you yawn?
      QUALIFYING STABILITY: “My boss once surprised me by calling in someone else to work. When I showed up he said, go change we’re going… If your boss did that to you what would you do?
      (this qualifies stability because her answer will let you know how hectic her life is)
      QUALIFYING SPONTANEITY: “Don’t you ever feel like just getting in your car and driving some place fun? A place you haven’t been too since you were a kid.

      Hope that helps Michael. If this helps you’re always challenging me with your questions. So in a way you’re qualifying me to step up my game. You make me think and step up to the challenge. The only difference with women is you need to blend in confident fun humor, flirting and try to always begin by telling something interesting about yourself. That way she tries to step up to your level and qualify herself to you.

      Oh one last thing. Never rule out qualifying her for a relationship. It works great but it’s a bit tougher. She needs to understand you don’t let looks, fame, or money sway your decisions on who you will date or get into a committed relationship with.

      Hey Miss Famous. Where’s your entourage?” – to a smug girl or a woman who looks tired of being hit on.
      I have a ten date minimum before any deep affectionate kisses.” – to a woman who is progressing too fast.
      You seem pretty cool. If you promise not to introduce me to your Mom we’ll go out again real soon.

      Remember if you’re doing online dating to creatively mention any and all qualifications she must meet in order for you to commit to her. Just be honest about it and it will work. Congruence is important in this area. Don’t say you only date blondes when you’re willing to settle for less.

      I could write a complete post on all those.

      Any more questions just let me know. If you’re struggling with this comment back a very specific quality you are looking for in a woman and I’ll see what I can do for you.

      Talk to you soon.