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9 Questions Us Nice Guys Must Ask To See If We’re Creeping Women Out

in Experience
Does he creep you out?

The word “creep” suggests something us “nice guys” don’t always get because we’re generally accepted by our friends and women rarely ever show signs that we creep them out.

The obvious “weirdo” does things women run from or in extreme cases hide behind us to avoid him.

Like while in a bar when a woman I didn’t even know came to me and asked me to pretend to talk to her so she could avoid this creep who wouldn’t stop hitting on her.

We’re not him…. right? Women think we’re nice, not creepy.

Well let’s see because I’ve noticed that even if we’re not “scaring” women away or acting obviously odd or strange we can all too easily creep women out.

We just don’t know we’re doing it.

The questions below can help us clear up the confusion because this kind of strangeness ( since it’s not normally offensive to women ) happens all too often and it destroys the attraction before we even get a chance.

But first.

I partied my ass off in my 20’s… So full of optimism and hope each night I went out assured of myself,

“Tonight, it’s finally going to happen for me. I’m going to meet her. I can just feel it.”

My refusal to believe the past would recur led me from one drink to the next until I was utterly too stupid to do anything anyways.

The alcohol helped me get past my failures by ignoring them and often led me to something which I’ve coined as:

The P.O. to P.O. method of dealing with rejection.

This is where I would come home stinking drunk… Pig Out and the Pass Out.

Every one of those nights went the same way. Come home depressed because I failed. I’d meet a cure girl but I didn’t know how to act around her. I felt pre-determined to be alone.

I’d focus on that one girl who “did it” for me. Check her out from afar. Position myself to meet her.

If I was lucky enough to get the nerve up to talk to her I didn’t know how to get her number so I’d let it pass until later. I thought, “I’ll see her again.”

Oddly enough I would but still didn’t get the courage to ask her out, get her number, or even act “normal” around her thus causing the inevitable P.O. to P.O. later that night as I stumbled home alone once again.

Rarely I’d do something more but was quickly rejected with the typical reasons we’ve probably ALL her before:

  • “I’m sorry I’m just not interested.”
  • “I have a boyfriend.”
  • “You’re cute but you’re not my type.”
  • “I’m sorry. I only date taller guys.”
  • “You’re nice but I just don’t see you that way.”
  • “I’m sorry. I’m taking a break from dating for while.”
  • “I’m sorry. I don’t give out my number to strangers.”

Little did I know, sure I was the “nice guy” but based on a few things I’ve learned over the years…

I was actually “creeping” them out. Just not enough to make them run.

Which again meant never figuring out what I was doing that was so wrong. It never really occurred to me there were levels of creepiness and I was a neck deep in it.

From here I’ve devised 9 questions based on what I know now and what I was doing then to help us figure out if we’re doing it or not.

Here is what I came up with. Answer honestly and you’ll soon know whether this “nice” creepiness is happening to you or not and thus stopping us from meeting AND attracting the very same women we’re creeping out.

1.) Are your movements around women often jerky and quick?

Do your movements reflect a feeling you don’t know what to do with your body parts, particularly your hands or feet?

If we’re not sure “how to act” around women we want this can easily be confused as appearing weird or creepy.

The word high-strung comes to mind and it’s a killer in attract.

I’ve found being nervous is relatively okay but taken to the extreme – as in this question, tends to creep a lot of women out.

2.) Do you often hope a woman will take the lead when you meet her, because you can’t or don’t know how?

You attempt to steer the conversation into an area to get her to reveal her immediate feelings for you.

You do everything you can to avoid having to show even a small amount of sexual interest because you believe it will scare her away or break a rule in dating.

When in fact – interest is okay – trying to avoid it or “steer” her into revealing whether or not she likes us back is the creepy part we might miss while we’re doing it.

3.) Do you hover real close to her for long periods of time without showing interest and are constantly “checking” her out?

She feels it. She sees it. She knows it’s happening and to her it just plain strange.

When we linger around a woman, just hoping something will happen WITHOUT even saying a word – we’re acting sketchy and more than borderline creepy.

Keep in mind I’ve done all this AND where I am today has allowed me to not only ask women how they feel about it but also to now have women literally come to me to avoid a guy who’s doing it.

4.) Can you answer yes to the last three questions but somehow still manage get her number?

Whether you got it from a friend or quickly asked for it as you left doesn’t matter.

Normally this is followed by leaving a quick message to her because she probably didn’t answer her phone or worse… it was a fake number.

She gave us her number to avoid rejecting us publicly. She was just being nice.

5.) Do you send messages women’s profile that wreaks of being needy?

Hey, some nights I was just buzzed enough to get home and immediately search the internet for the women of my dreams.

Often I was ballsy enough to leave several messages to several women.

They followed a certain format or pattern.

Compliment her while being negative about myself. Something like,

“You are amazingly beautiful and I know I may never have a chance with you but I just wanted to let you know you seem very special to me. If you’re interested at all. Please write me back.”

Women get a ton of messages and like that and it’s borderline creepy but the big killer is here: She feels sorry for us NOT attracted therefore we become kind of creepy.

6.) Do you mention sex quickly and too often when you first meet a girl?

Forcing the topic of sex early on her hints to a woman we don’t get any.

It’s also a fake way of getting her to reveal whether or not she would sleep with us or possibly has a boyfriend.

Often it appears creepy like we’re inexperienced and indirectly trying to get information from her which she sees right through.

7.) Do you stare at her from far away but never get the courage to even say “Hi“?

You look away quickly when she looks back at you. You keep trying to put yourself in a position that you can check her out without her seeing you.

The last thing you want is it get caught and if that does happen you’ll avoid looking her away again.

She notices it and it makes her feel self-conscious, confused, and it can easily creep her out.

8.) Are you overly nice to her when she shows interest in you but you stray away from any conversation that would bring out your weakness around women?

Somewhat the opposite of number 6.

You never mention sex because you’re worried she might know you haven’t had much.

You also steer away from topics about relationships because you’re worried she might find out, you haven’t had many.

You’re conversations are too safe to the point where it feel like to her – that you’re hiding something.

Strangely enough, this can also creep women out because women want to at least feel you’re being pursued by other women ( to feel attracted to you ).

What may make her look at you strangely is… if you’re so good and nice… why are you still single and why won’t you even open the option to talk about other things.

9.) Do you find yourself asking a woman you just met, question after question but never really having any interest in hearing the answer?

This is a symptom of being stuck in your own head. Over-thinking everything. Over-analyzing what you’re going to say instead of what she’s talking about.

If you’re overly nice AND she’s finding it difficult to connect with you… it may come off as sketchy or, for this post… Creepy.

This also leads to awkward silences and her answers become short and boring. Almost like she doesn’t want to be talking to you.

Her eyes glaze over as she loks over our shoulder hoping someone will swoop in and save her from the creepy guy she’s got stuck talking to.

And yes – if we’re doing lots of these things… we’re the “nice” kind of creep.

Not overly obvious but definitely a killer of attraction leading to perhaps your own version of the P.O. method of dealing with rejection.

The moral of this post – well avoid consuming large amounts alcohol because it only makes it worse. You might end up like me or better, without it, you could end up like me. 🙂

Seriously though these questions can help us avoid doing certain things which appear to be harmless but are in fact “creeping” women out and stopping us from becoming truly acquainted with women when all we’re trying to do, is connect to someone we’re physically attracted to.

We’re not really creeps – we’re just nice dudes…. right?

Most of these things happen to us nice guys because we’re afraid. Our fears may be unique to our experiences but when we get down to it, there are way too many similarities which stops us all from acting “attractively” normal around women. We can erase creeping women out by simply removing those fears. This is the only product I’m currently aware of designed to do just that. You’ll find it here –> The Fearless Code.

Attracting Women – Upfront, Honest, & Real

It might be in her best interest to not reveal her feelings for you, but it’s still not proof she likes you, wants you, or sees you as more than a friend.
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13 comments… add one
  • Liann

    As a female, a guy comes across as a creepy with 3 things:
    Over closeness at the wrong time – if two people have had enough eye contact/body language so the female has invited the guy to come into whole flirting stage, then a bit of closeness and subtle touching (eg arm) is ok. If that invite hasn’t been sent (yet) and you just dive in to being close, it’s just creepy!
    Needy – constant compliments and communication is not cool. It’s nice to chase a little so chat/message and then leave it a while (not too long!). It makes women curious….what could he possibly be up to rather than message me back?!? Compliments each time you log on or pick up the phone is just annoying and creepy.
    Not on your level – if you’re completely lacking confidence and make yourself seem like the woman is so much of a higher status then you, whatever you say to hit on her will come across as creepy.

    Confidence is the key. No matter what you look like, as long as your confident (calm, at ease with yourself) and engage in the woman’s signals then you’ll get any woman.

  • S-252

    It’s sad how many men are nowadays struggling with absolutely unattainable standards they need to meet, struggle for years with loneliness – and nobody even registers it as a problem, just telling them to “man up”.

    • Kevin

      Yeah, but you’d better not say anything…stiff upper lip. Why aren’t you doing more to make life easier for women? It’s amazing the hypocrisy that runs so deep in society…but again, be careful about pointing it out. No one will be sympathetic…no women, certainly not even yer mum. Why haven’t you done more to correct the “injustices” in society for the pampered gender?

  • pro1337

    8…you don’t have a number 2.

    Lol!! Amateur..

  • Both 1 and 2 are yeses for me but for the most part, everything else I would answer no. I am quick to say things like “I like you” or anything similar to that but I haven’t had the chance to get to know her yet nor she has with me and I say it anyway. Another thing I struggle with is that I wish that a girl would take the initiative for me because well what you said was right on and I’m insecure to speak up for myself sometimes but when I do I tend to be a little hasty about it. As for why I would say no to the rest of the questions you asked is because I always enjoy a good conversation with a woman and sometimes I would compliment her but that’s not an attempt to get her to like me. I just like saying those things. I mean yeah there was one time where I would feel that way but as I’m learning more about love and relationships, it helps me turn into the type of guy I want to be for a girl. I always like to keep a conversation going because silence for me is nerve-racking and that might be strange coming from a guy but I really hate awkward silences and I try to keep a conversation as interesting as possible. This post had a lot of good advice and I was glad to read it and thanks for putting your knowledge up!

  • Shy Boy

    Hi! Can you tell me if the girl I have crush on take me as creepy. Here’s what happened. I opened the door to the library, and right on that moment, when I opened it, I saw my crush. So I looked at her, and I also caught her looking at me. I have had read an article before about eye contacts and body language, so I tried what I learned. When I saw her looking at me, I looked away, then I looked at her again; and again I saw her looking at me.(Right that means good thing?) So, I had the courage and tried to move closer to the table where she was sitting. But when I get there, I ended up saying high to my basketball pal. And actually didn’t approach her. The next time I looked at her that day, she snubbed me already. What do you think?

    • Hi,

      I’m not sure what article you read about eye contact but based on my experience it wasn’t quite right. What you did was submissive. When you make good clean eye contact with a woman you want to hold your gaze just a little longer than her and do it softly so you don’t come off as crazy or creepy.

      It sounds like that article was perhaps trying to show you a way to tell if a woman is in fact checking you out or just looking your way but none of that should matter.

      If you make eye contact with a woman do NOT look away, squint a little and hint an inviting smile and hold the gaze until SHE looks away first.

      Your next move wasn’t ( unfortunately ) courageous. It’s called lingering and most women who are in the right frame of mind notice it immediately and often find it creepy.

      When you get close enough to a woman to speak with her ( like you’re going to approach her ) the fearless move is to say something to her. You don’t necessarily have to talk with her but to stay out of her “creep zone” at least acknowledge her presence before you chat with your friends. That way your lingering won’t seem as creepy.

      She might have snubbed you later on because you did come off as creepy from the lingering, appeared not too confident by not holding your gaze and by not saying a word to her she could’ve easily felt rejected.

      There’s always two sides. If you didn’t come off as creepy to her ( like she didn’t notice any of it ) then she’d be wondering why you didn’t say a word to her thus sort of rejecting her. She might even be wondering why you were staring at her the second time when you already rejected her making her feel self-conscious and dejected from the whole experience.

      Just take a look at these two articles I wrote and notice the all comments because you’ll see how deep this whole “staring contest” goes and just how women might take the eye contact.



      Hope that helps you out Shy Boy,


  • Crystal

    #3 is spot on because I just encountered a situation like that recently. We’ve been friends (though I see him more as an acquaintance) for over a year, but for the past few weeks he’s been sneaking around me while I’m doing homework and sitting next to me without saying hi (and I’m so focused that I don’t see him), then messaging me and asking what I’m doing or that I’m not wearing my usual signature clothing, and not in a playful but direct “I see you” way either. Basically he expected me to say hi and would ask me to guess how I knew what I was doing or that I was “killing him” (by ignoring him) as though it was my fault he didn’t speak up. The first few times I was fine with it, but when I started noticing him doing it more and more, it honestly terrified me. Later on, he told me he didn’t want to distract me, but even that implies that he expected a LONG conversation and not just a simple “hi” that would have sufficed.

    It was really the combination of having him indirectly ask me to accompany him several times or just checking me out in general and talking WAY too much about the most inane topics (nothing that would create closeness or “knowing”) that slowly started freaking me out though. Maybe it’s because I’m the type of girl who doesn’t mind when guys are a little nervous because it shows authenticity, and he has many female friends and rarely if ever seems nervous about talking to me. So that disconnect really made me uncomfortable. Guys – please don’t do what he did, because it feels like you’re exemplifying the creep in a horror movie.

    While the other ones touch upon the major issues just as well, this one fit perfectly to a situation fresh in my mind.

    • Thanks for sharing Crystal and I most certainly agree, #3 Hovering close without doing or saying anything is a big creepy move which often leaves lingering discomfort. Making it hard to change how she feels.

  • rather not say

    Hi I got a question for u guys ok there’s this foreign exchange girl that I like and towards the beginning of the school year she used to sit by me at lunch and stuff and we went to a dance together which I found out we have some stuff in common but then the days after the dance the group of friends that she hangs out with quit sitting by my friends so I didn’t get to talk to her much ( even went a couple weeks at a time) but then I ran into her and we talked a little bit. But after like a week or so she sat by me at lunch and we talked a little bit but she didn’t seem interested in me and didn’t make much eye contact. I mean we still make eye contact and stuff at lunch and in the halls but I’m way too shy to say anything. Also like a week ago we talked over Facebook about stuff. So am I being creepy or does she like me or what?

    • Hey. Hard to tell if you’re being creepy by what you wrote BUT chances are, her situation has changed. She’s making more friends. She’s trying to fit in. She’s finding her social niche. If any of that has nothing to do with you, then I would assume she’ll slowly lose or stop contacting you as much. T

      If you’re doing all the contacting, if you asked for her Facebook information but she didn’t as much care about getting yours, if she doesn’t act interested in you or is not making much of an effort (again, you’re doing all the work) then I’d say your instincts are right, she’s just not that interested in you.

      Now, sure you could’ve come off as creepy but since I don’t know the nature of your interactions with her, it’s hard for me to tell.

      Chances are though, based on your conversations with her, you didn’t create any attraction. THAT is more important. Talking is good, especially if you want to make friends, but it’s what you talk about, how you talk about it, what your words do to her, what kind of questions you ask, how you ask them, and how you respond to her questions will normally determine how much attraction is created. HOW you interact with her, approach her, things like that will determine more of how creepy you come across. I’d say you should definitely work on or look into your conversations with women. Look around here I have plenty of ways to guide you.

      Also, now that there is not attraction, if you’re still staring, still trying to connect, still trying to gain her gaze, then YES, that is definitely going to come across as creepy so you might want to stop doing that immediately. Start fresh with her.

      Hope that helps you “Rather Not Say” and all the best of luck to you,


  • Wizard

    #7, #8 completely, 31 year old virgin who gets cold sweats and trembles when he talks to attractive women in anything other than a professional manner.

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