The word “creep” suggests something us “nice guys” don’t always get because we’re generally accepted by our friends and women rarely ever show signs that we creep them out.
The obvious “weirdo” does things women run from or in extreme cases hide behind us to avoid him.
Like while in a bar when a woman I didn’t even know came to me and asked me to pretend to talk to her so she could avoid this creep who wouldn’t stop hitting on her.
We’re not him…. right? Women think we’re nice, not creepy.
Well let’s see because I’ve noticed that even if we’re not “scaring” women away or acting obviously odd or strange we can all too easily creep women out.
We just don’t know we’re doing it.
The questions below can help us clear up the confusion because this kind of strangeness ( since it’s not normally offensive to women ) happens all too often and it destroys the attraction before we even get a chance.
I partied my ass off in my 20’s… So full of optimism and hope each night I went out assured of myself,
“Tonight, it’s finally going to happen for me. I’m going to meet her. I can just feel it.”
My refusal to believe the past would recur led me from one drink to the next until I was utterly too stupid to do anything anyways.
The alcohol helped me get past my failures by ignoring them and often led me to something which I’ve coined as:
The P.O. to P.O. method of dealing with rejection.
This is where I would come home stinking drunk… Pig Out and the Pass Out.
Every one of those nights went the same way. Come home depressed because I failed. I’d meet a cure girl but I didn’t know how to act around her. I felt pre-determined to be alone.
I’d focus on that one girl who “did it” for me. Check her out from afar. Position myself to meet her.
If I was lucky enough to get the nerve up to talk to her I didn’t know how to get her number so I’d let it pass until later. I thought, “I’ll see her again.”
Oddly enough I would but still didn’t get the courage to ask her out, get her number, or even act “normal” around her thus causing the inevitable P.O. to P.O. later that night as I stumbled home alone once again.
Rarely I’d do something more but was quickly rejected with the typical reasons we’ve probably ALL her before:
- “I’m sorry I’m just not interested.”
- “I have a boyfriend.”
- “You’re cute but you’re not my type.”
- “I’m sorry. I only date taller guys.”
- “You’re nice but I just don’t see you that way.”
- “I’m sorry. I’m taking a break from dating for while.”
- “I’m sorry. I don’t give out my number to strangers.”
Little did I know, sure I was the “nice guy” but based on a few things I’ve learned over the years…
I was actually “creeping” them out. Just not enough to make them run.
Which again meant never figuring out what I was doing that was so wrong. It never really occurred to me there were levels of creepiness and I was a neck deep in it.
From here I’ve devised 9 questions based on what I know now and what I was doing then to help us figure out if we’re doing it or not.
Here is what I came up with. Answer honestly and you’ll soon know whether this “nice” creepiness is happening to you or not and thus stopping us from meeting AND attracting the very same women we’re creeping out.
1.) Are your movements around women often jerky and quick?
Do your movements reflect a feeling you don’t know what to do with your body parts, particularly your hands or feet?
If we’re not sure “how to act” around women we want this can easily be confused as appearing weird or creepy.
The word high-strung comes to mind and it’s a killer in attract.
I’ve found being nervous is relatively okay but taken to the extreme – as in this question, tends to creep a lot of women out.
2.) Do you often hope a woman will take the lead when you meet her, because you can’t or don’t know how?
You attempt to steer the conversation into an area to get her to reveal her immediate feelings for you.
You do everything you can to avoid having to show even a small amount of sexual interest because you believe it will scare her away or break a rule in dating.
When in fact – interest is okay – trying to avoid it or “steer” her into revealing whether or not she likes us back is the creepy part we might miss while we’re doing it.
3.) Do you hover real close to her for long periods of time without showing interest and are constantly “checking” her out?
She feels it. She sees it. She knows it’s happening and to her it just plain strange.
When we linger around a woman, just hoping something will happen WITHOUT even saying a word – we’re acting sketchy and more than borderline creepy.
Keep in mind I’ve done all this AND where I am today has allowed me to not only ask women how they feel about it but also to now have women literally come to me to avoid a guy who’s doing it.
4.) Can you answer yes to the last three questions but somehow still manage get her number?
Whether you got it from a friend or quickly asked for it as you left doesn’t matter.
Normally this is followed by leaving a quick message to her because she probably didn’t answer her phone or worse… it was a fake number.
She gave us her number to avoid rejecting us publicly. She was just being nice.
5.) Do you send messages women’s profile that wreaks of being needy?
Hey, some nights I was just buzzed enough to get home and immediately search the internet for the women of my dreams.
Often I was ballsy enough to leave several messages to several women.
They followed a certain format or pattern.
Compliment her while being negative about myself. Something like,
“You are amazingly beautiful and I know I may never have a chance with you but I just wanted to let you know you seem very special to me. If you’re interested at all. Please write me back.”
Women get a ton of messages and like that and it’s borderline creepy but the big killer is here: She feels sorry for us NOT attracted therefore we become kind of creepy.
6.) Do you mention sex quickly and too often when you first meet a girl?
Forcing the topic of sex early on her hints to a woman we don’t get any.
It’s also a fake way of getting her to reveal whether or not she would sleep with us or possibly has a boyfriend.
Often it appears creepy like we’re inexperienced and indirectly trying to get information from her which she sees right through.
7.) Do you stare at her from far away but never get the courage to even say “Hi“?
You look away quickly when she looks back at you. You keep trying to put yourself in a position that you can check her out without her seeing you.
The last thing you want is it get caught and if that does happen you’ll avoid looking her away again.
She notices it and it makes her feel self-conscious, confused, and it can easily creep her out.
8.) Are you overly nice to her when she shows interest in you but you stray away from any conversation that would bring out your weakness around women?
Somewhat the opposite of number 6.
You never mention sex because you’re worried she might know you haven’t had much.
You also steer away from topics about relationships because you’re worried she might find out, you haven’t had many.
You’re conversations are too safe to the point where it feel like to her – that you’re hiding something.
Strangely enough, this can also creep women out because women want to at least feel you’re being pursued by other women ( to feel attracted to you ).
What may make her look at you strangely is… if you’re so good and nice… why are you still single and why won’t you even open the option to talk about other things.
9.) Do you find yourself asking a woman you just met, question after question but never really having any interest in hearing the answer?
This is a symptom of being stuck in your own head. Over-thinking everything. Over-analyzing what you’re going to say instead of what she’s talking about.
If you’re overly nice AND she’s finding it difficult to connect with you… it may come off as sketchy or, for this post… Creepy.
This also leads to awkward silences and her answers become short and boring. Almost like she doesn’t want to be talking to you.
Her eyes glaze over as she loks over our shoulder hoping someone will swoop in and save her from the creepy guy she’s got stuck talking to.
And yes – if we’re doing lots of these things… we’re the “nice” kind of creep.
Not overly obvious but definitely a killer of attraction leading to perhaps your own version of the P.O. method of dealing with rejection.
The moral of this post – well avoid consuming large amounts alcohol because it only makes it worse. You might end up like me or better, without it, you could end up like me. 🙂
Seriously though these questions can help us avoid doing certain things which appear to be harmless but are in fact “creeping” women out and stopping us from becoming truly acquainted with women when all we’re trying to do, is connect to someone we’re physically attracted to.