If you’re a nice guy you might assume you’re not creeping women out because you’re “nice”, right? You’re generally accepted by lots of men and women.
People just seem to like you and being seen as a creep in a woman’s eye might be the last thing you would think is happening… but today you’re about to learn there are plenty of seemingly innocent things you’re doing around women which ARE actually creeping them out.
You’re have good intentions and you’re not actually a creep. (Hopefully this is something you do know without a doubt.)
A REAL creep lingers around the corner, hides in the shadows, cops a feel when he can, and even goes so far as stalking women on any and every social media platform which will allow him the opportunity to poke or message random women.
All true BUT think for one how certain things you do around a woman FEEL to her. Whether the word creep is the right description doesn’t matter so don’t take it personal.
If she feels uneasy around you then she will say it’s creepy and when it comes to attracting her – it’s a feeling you want to avoid giving her.
Today’s lesson is a question or list of common things you might be doing so you are given every opportunity to avoid them.
Take a hard look at what is happening to you. If women don’t seem to be running from you, they treat you nicely, they talk to you, they’re open to even hanging out with you once in a while BUT you’re not getting anywhere with them…
Then at least entertain the idea that you’re creeping them out a little and so today, and from now on, you can STOP doing them and START attracting them.
#1. Are your movements around women often quick, jerky, or do you fidget a lot?
Do your movements reflect a feeling you don’t know what to do with your body parts, particularly your hands or feet?
If you’re not sure “how to act” around women because maybe you’re a little nervous around them – these actions can all too easily be confused or interpreted by a woman (you just met) as weird or creepy.
This often happens if you’re a little high strung and the nervousness you’re feeling has to come out somehow. It’s often missed by you but to a woman – it’s very clear.
What’s happening is that all you’re feeling inside comes out through your body language and is transferred to her.
You can have the most amazing conversation with her BUT if your body is saying something different she’ll always feel there’s just something not right.
Never forget your body tells a lot of the story. It conveys yourself. AND it also is taken literally by the person standing in front of you.
You must learn to eliminate any and all ticks or quick movements. You must learn to channel all that energy in some way so you’re not creeping women out.
It’s OKAY to be nervous. When a woman is actually feeling attracted to you, she will also be nervous.
Nervousness is NOT the problem.
The problem is all the extra fidgeting, the weak tentative body language, the submissive cues you’re sending out, and the inconsistency of your words and your body – that is why it feels creepy.
AND it’s a big reason why you’re not naturally attracting women. Hence some will just say you’re creeping them out.
BODY LANGUAGE is big, so get a handle on it immediately.
Learn to say less and speak more with your body for a while. It takes some practice but it’s worth it.
Here are some tips to help you with your body language AND your nervousness around women:
“Real practical advice to ease your nervousness around women. If you’re tired of having approach anxiety these tips will help you overcome rejection. Where your fear comes from and how to stop it from happening. No expectations. Practice talking to everyone. Stop rejecting yourself.”
“They’re looking down at the ground with their arms crossed, fidgeting, with their voices cracking and their eyes bugged out. And when you give off that kind of body language yourself, women don’t want to be around you.”
“Your body has a language all it’s own. How you communicate it to women can either help your chances or ruin the attraction. Here are tips and examples you can start using today to attract others with your body alone. Display open communication and you will draw women in. Close yourself off and you’ll shut them out.”
If you really want to stop creeping women out if it’s a certain nervous or body language problem… you’ll find all you’ll ever need to get this problem handled immediately right here:
#2. Do you do things to get the woman to take the lead for you?
Leading a woman happens in many different ways – from the approach all the way to sex.
If you’re doing things anywhere along that path which makes her feel like you just want her to decide or take the lead then it can easily be perceived as creepy.
It’s not creepy if you’re just not sure but that usually puts you in the friends zone or you become a non-sexual option for her BUT…
If you’re interacting with her in a way which makes her feel like that everything you’re doing is just another attempt to “gauge” her interest before you’re willing to move forward – then that my friend feels creepy to her.
It just doesn’t feel right to her and so she will equate it to being strange, and so give it the definition of creep.
Examples would be:
- Steering the conversation hoping the subject or topic will reveal how she feels about you.
- Avoiding sexual topics or advancements until she does something about it.
- Seeking her approval or agreeing with everything she says because you’re worried she won’t like you.
- Going out of your way to assure her comfort which goes above and beyond normality.
While it may not seem this wouldn’t creep women out and on the surface it just looks a “nice guy” problem – (meaning if women are rejecting you with the overused excuse of “You’re too nice.” or friend zoning you a lot) – then you’re partly right but you must understand…
It’s feel manipulative to women when you do these things and when she senses you like her but are not willing to do anything about it AND you’re constantly trying to get her to reveal if she likes you or not – that’s when you cross the line over to creepy.
Here are a few page posted here to help you “see the light” AND will stop you from appearing creepy:
“There is a big difference between being a good guy and being too much of a nice guy. How your nice guy ways are not the reason why you’re failing. If you listen to all the bad dating advice out there, you’re apt to treat women badly, and that won’t lead to success in dating either. This is how it is.”
“Nice guys don’t attract women for reasons beyond the old adage. It’s because they’re selfish, emotionally greedy, and don’t earn the respect from women and others. They think they’re a victim. They want to be liked because they feel they deserve it. They based how they feel on how others see them.”
And then make sure you go through ALL my nice guy tips starting with this one:
#3. Do you linger around women without saying anything to her and spend lots of time checking her out first?
She feels it. She sees it. She knows it’s happening and to her it just plain strange.
When you linger around a woman just hoping something will happen WITHOUT even saying a word – you’re acting sketchy and more than borderline creepy.
Keep in mind I’ve done all this AND where I am today has allowed me to not only ask women how they feel about it, but also now have women literally run to me to avoid a guy who’s doing it.
Don’t be that guy.
You must understand most “sober” women are well aware of their surroundings and know when a guy is lingering close by to them.
They feel like you want to approach them but when you don’t THAT is when it becomes creepy, looks weak, and unfortunately make you look like you have absolutely no courage at all.
Now the courage part she can understand. Any real woman gets how hard it is in certain situations to just walk right up to her and start a conversation BUT again – she can not help how it feels… creepy.
IF you want to say something don’t just check her out from afar for way too long, don’t get close to her hoping the universe will bring you two together, don’t linger about fidgeting she will open you up…
Take the risk and say “Hello…” and let her see all the other guys you passed by to get to her as the real creeps.
This isn’t normally a bar or club problem either – it can happen anywhere. If you need some help on approaching women – there is certainly a vast amount of resources to help you out.
There are way too many to list here but a great place to start is in my girlfriend series:
“This step in finding a hot amazing girlfriend is about where to meet women and how they are everywhere if you know where to look for them. A few formulas to make meeting women something that happens in your life naturally. Plus how to overcome your fears of approaching women with confidence and skills.”
#4. Can you answer yes to the last three questions but somehow still manage get her number?
Whether you got it from a friend or quickly asked for it as you left doesn’t matter.
Normally this is followed by leaving a quick message to her because she probably didn’t answer her phone or worse… it was a fake number.
She gave you her number to avoid rejecting you publicly. She was just being nice. She just wanted to get rid of you.
Yes, it’s harsh but it’s reality and there’s no need or benefit to lie to you about it. Keeping the truth from you won’t help you to be seen less creepy.
This one IS a clear sign that women are perceiving you a little strange and creepy and it’s included here because you’re not seeing it.
You’re getting numbers and all, right? Women are talking to you. It feels like you’re not doing anything wrong BUT since the results are not happening then you’re obviously doing something wrong…
Take an objective look at HOW you’re getting the numbers and if you are positive that 1,2, and 3 in the list are happening to you or you’re doing them – then that’s actually GREAT NEWS because you now know why they’re not working out for you and HOW to STOP it.
Onto the fifth…
#5. Do you send messages to women’s profiles trying to appear open, honest, & genuine?
With so many of you doing the online dating thing this one needs to be covered.
You may believe you’re just being open and honest. You know, being genuine, real, and upfront BUT if your message matches or comes close to the ones written below AND you’re not getting any real response or success then it’s because BOTH leading to creeping her out:
“You are amazingly beautiful and I know I may never have a chance with you but I just wanted to let you know you seem very special to me. If you’re interested at all. Please write me back.”
“Hello. I love your profile. You seem like a nice woman. If you’re interested in getting to know each other – please write me back.”
She reads the message and feels like you’re way too nice and unfortunately being too NICE always look sketchy.
Imagine someone walking up to you and telling you he just wants to help you, how it’s all for you, or how he’s constantly trying to sell you the fact the he has YOUR best interest in mind… feels creepy doesn’t it? You just know something is wrong with the offer and you’re going to get screwed.
Unfortunately – messages to women even close to those above FEEL the same way to women.
Now of course – creepy may not apply to this situation and again, it doesn’t matter what “word” you use to describe what is happening – what matters is how it FEELS to the woman getting the message.
A few things are happening when she gets the message.
She scans it quickly and checks out your profile and if your profile does nothing to eliminate her “stranger danger” feeling she gets from it – she hits delete.
She scans it quickly and feels like you’re trying way too hard and apart from anything else – it’s doing nothing to engage her to write you back.
Either way – avoid messages like this entirely.
There’s an online dating course I’m offering but is currently in the re-write section. I’ll update this post with the links when it’s ready.
You can sign up to DiaLteG TM and I’ll let you know when it’s ready OR you could pick this up today to change your online dating habits which could easily be creeping women out:
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#6. Do you mention sex quickly and too often when you first meet a girl?
This would be the total opposite of number 2 above in one way and in another way – is similar when it’s used to “fish” for how she might be feeling about you or how far she would go with you sexually.
Forcing the topic of sex early doesn’t just hint to her that you don’t get any, she assumes it.
She will also feel like you’re just trying to get in her pants which is not just creepy, kind of disgusting.
Either way this happens it’s not a good thing.
Bringing up sex in any conversation with a woman you just met requires tact. It also requires conversational skills and timing.
It’s not easy, is it?
Some tell you just to bring it up early and get it out of the way. Some say wait until she mentions it.
The absolute BEST and most beneficial way is to first STOP doing it and secondly, stop FORCING it.
If you’re chatting with a woman and having a great fun conversation and you’re both flirting a little it will come up all on its own.
Sure there are “tactics” you can use which may or may not lead in this direction, something you can read about here:
“Some guys think it’s OK to talk about sex with girls they’ve just met. They steer the conversation towards sex, or make sexual comments in an attempt to be funny and ‘spice up’ the conversation.
Other guys think that talking about sex implies they have a lot of experience in the bedroom, and that women will find this alluring.
Women are generally not interested or impressed by this type of talk.”
Yet my personal advice, so you’re less likely to be creeping her out – is to let the conversation naturally flow in that direction if it’s suitable.
Focus on ATTRACTION and FLIRTING first.
When a man and woman start feeling sexual chemistry together the topic of sex, innuendos, stories, adventures, or whatever WILL come up all own their own.
#7. Do you stare at her from far away but never get the courage to say “Hi“?
This is slightly different from lingering but its effect is just the same.
You stare at her.
You look away quickly when she looks back at you.
You keep trying to put yourself in a position that you can check her out without her seeing you.
You do anything and everything to not get caught and when you do… you basically slither away trying to blend into the background because you feel embarrassed.
Women are beyond excellent at noticing when a guy is checking them out. They have an intuition which surpasses most men in the entire world at knowing when it is happening to them.
Some are curious and “sort of” enjoy the Ego boost. Some are confused and they don’t understand why it’s happening or what your purpose is.
One of my most visited pages for women is Why Does A Guy Stare At A Woman But Not Approach with good reason. Give it a visit and check out all the comments. This is a BIG deal for women.
The point today for you is… those women are so utterly confused by your actions they search for an answer on any search engine they use.
And those are just the ones who go online looking for a reason as to why they’re being stared at, imagine ever other woman you’re doing it too goes through something else…
It makes her feel self-conscious. It makes her nervous.
Lastly – she feels “CREEPED” out!
Check her out. Get a glimpse. Don’t look at away so quickly. ADMIRE her if you like, just don’t stare for too long doing nothing wile looking away because you’re only creeping her out.
Here’s an article written for you if this is what you’re doing:
“It may not seem like a big deal to most men and women, right? Who actually cares? Men get caught staring at “Chics” ALL the time.
But there’s more to all this seemingly innocent “checking girls out” when you’re first learning how to be a more attractive guy and trying to become less of what is commonly called a wussy.”
#8. While talking to a woman, do you avoid topics because you’re worried she won’t like you?
It’s all too easy to miss this one because it doesn’t feel creepy to you.
Who doesn’t want to put their best attributes forward, right? Who doesn’t want to look good when they meet someone?
And it’s perfectly okay to not disqualify yourself early on. You wouldn’t want a woman to tell you everything that is wrong with her right away.
(Well of course in some cases that could be useful. You wouldn’t want to find out on your wedding day that she’s been married five times and each husband died of a mysterious death!)
BUT… you must look at this from HER perspective.
If it feels like to her that you are HIDING something, avoiding topics like past relationships, ex’s, sex, etc…
Then she starts to wonder why or WHAT is so bad that you feel you have to hide it from her.
And that is why it makes you look a little creepy and in the very real sense of the word.
You shouldn’t disqualify yourself from her and if it’s an issue for you then please take the time read this:
The best easiest way to avoid this happening when you’re interacting with women is of course to lead the conversation in the positive direction you want it to go.
Another way is have a quick neutral response to questions you might not want to answer too early.
Just make sure you’re not playing it too safe so it doesn’t feel like you’re hiding something from her AND also what she feels is perfectly acceptable to ask you – MAKE SURE she has her own answers too.
Onto the never-ending-don’t care about the answers guy…
#9. Do you find yourself asking a woman you just met, question after question but never really having any interest in hearing the answer?
This is a symptom of being stuck in your own head. Over-thinking everything.
Over-analyzing what you’re going to say instead of what she’s talking about.
If you’re overly nice AND she’s finding it difficult to connect with you… it may come off as sketchy or, for this post… creepy.
This also leads to awkward silences and her answers become short and boring.
Almost like she doesn’t want to be talking to you.
Her eyes glaze over as she looks over our shoulder hoping someone will swoop in and save her from the creepy guy she’s got stuck talking to.
Listen, I understand it’s probably a nervous thing and as above, it’s okay to be nervous and most real women are aware of it when it’s happening…
However just imagine for one moment what it FEELS like to her and you will easily conclude how creepy it actually is.
The “overcoming your nervousness around women” is covered above in number nine so for this one the best solution (although a little difficult to master) is to work on your conversational skills with women.
Start with this page and work your way through all of it.
You’ll find it will show you amazing conversational techniques:
Lastly – an update…
#10: UPDATE – If you’re asking any of these questions… it feels CREEPY.
“Men will often say the wrong things or ask the wrong inappropriate questions to girls which are considered highly unattractive. Never ask a woman, or say these things to a woman during your conversations with her if you want her like you. This list is to help you avoid common mistakes made when talking to women.”
Yes – creep or being seen as creepy by a woman may just be a word they use to describe “strange” or a way to explain it when something doesn’t feel right about a guy.
BUT… usually in life it’s not our intentions or what we intend to say or do that means anything, HOW it is perceived is generally more important.
This certainly includes ATTRACTION or lack there of by creeping women out.
Hopefully, through today’s post you can being to eliminate the creepiness women might be feeling around you because I do firmly believe you’re probably not the standard definition of it – you’re just doing certain things which are making you look that way.
Thanks for stopping by and I do hope you’ve learned something new today to help you succeed in becoming a more attractive man – naturally.
Make sure you sign up below for more great tips and advice above and beyond today’s post.
You know what to do if you have any questions, comments, advice, tips of your own, experiences with women you’d like to share or even yes, what certain women do that CREEP YOU OUT. (Now that would be an interested subject.)