9 Questions Reveals Why You’re A Nice Guy & Women Feel Like You’re A Creep

If you're a nice guy you might assume you're not creeping women out because you're "nice", right? You're "generally" accepted by lots of men and women.

People like you and being seen as a creep in a woman's eye might be the last thing you would think is happening...

But today you're about to learn there are plenty of seemingly innocent things you're doing around women which ARE actually creeping them out.

You have good intentions and you're not actually a creep.

Hopefully this is something you do know without a doubt because...

A REAL creep lingers around the corner, hides in the shadows, cops a feel when he can, and even goes so far as stalking women on any and every social media platform which will allows him the opportunity to poke or message random women.

All true BUT think for one second how certain things you do around a woman FEEL to her.

Whether the word creep is the right description doesn't matter...

So don't take it personal.

If she feels uneasy around you then she will say it's creepy and when it comes to attracting her - it's a feeling you want to avoid giving her.

Today's lesson is a question, or list of common things you might be doing so you are given every opportunity to avoid them.

Take a hard look at what is happening to you.

If women don't seem to be running from you, they treat you nicely, they talk to you, they're open to even hanging out with you once in a while, BUT you're not getting anywhere with them...

Then at least entertain the idea that you're creeping them out a little and so today, and from now on:

You can STOP doing them and START attracting them.

#1. Are your movements around women often quick, jerky, or do you fidget a lot?

Do your movements reflect a feeling you don't know what to do with your body parts, particularly your hands or feet?

If you're not sure "how to act" around women because maybe you're a little  nervous around them - these actions can all too easily be confused or interpreted by a woman (you just met) as weird or creepy.

This often happens if you're a little high strung and the nervousness you're feeling has to come out somehow. It's often missed by you but to a woman - it's very clear.

What's happening is that all you're feeling inside comes out through your body language, and is transferred to her.

You can have the most amazing conversation with her BUT if your body is saying something different, she'll always feel there's just something not right.

Never forget your body tells a lot of the story.

It conveys yourself.

AND it also is taken literally by the person standing in front of you.

You must learn to eliminate any and all ticks or quick movements.

You must learn to channel all that energy in some way so you're not creeping women out.

It's OKAY to be nervous.

When a woman is actually feeling attracted to you, she will also be nervous.

Nervousness is NOT the problem.

The problem is all the extra fidgeting, the weak tentative body language, the submissive cues you're sending out, and the inconsistency of your words and your body - that is why it feels creepy.

AND it's a big reason why you're not naturally attracting women. Hence some will just say you're creeping them out.

BODY LANGUAGE is big, so get a handle on it immediately.

Learn to say less and speak more with your body for a while. It takes some practice but it's worth it.

Here are some tips to help you with your body language AND your nervousness around women:

"Real practical advice to ease your nervousness around women. If you're tired of having approach anxiety these tips will help you overcome rejection.

Where your fear comes from and how to stop it from happening. No expectations. Practice talking to everyone.

Stop rejecting yourself."

Four Keys to Overcoming Your Nervousness Around Women


"They're looking down at the ground with their arms crossed, fidgeting, with their voices cracking and their eyes bugged out. 

And when you give off that kind of body language yourself, women don't want to be around you."

The Number One Secret Behind the Alpha Male's Body Language


"Your body has a language all it's own. How you communicate it to women can either help your chances or ruin the attraction.

Here are tips and examples you can start using today to attract others with your body alone. Display open communication and you will draw women in.

Close yourself off and you'll shut them out."

What Is Body Language? 4 Tips On Communicating With Your Body

#2. Do you do things to get the woman to take the lead for you?

Leading a woman happens in many different ways - from the approach all the way to sex.

If you're doing things anywhere along that path which makes her feel like you just want her to decide or take the lead then it can easily be perceived as creepy.

It's not creepy if you're just not sure but that usually puts you in the friends zone or you become a non-sexual option for her BUT...

If you're interacting with her in a way which makes her feel like that everything you're doing is just another attempt to "gauge" her interest before you're willing to move forward - then that my friend feels creepy to her.

It just doesn't feel right to her and so she will equate it to being strange, and so give it the definition of creep.

Examples would be:

*Steering the conversation hoping the subject or topic will reveal how she feels about you.

*Avoiding sexual topics or advancements until she does something about it.

*Seeking her approval or agreeing with everything she says because you're worried she won't like you.

*Going out of your way to assure her comfort which goes above and beyond normality.

While it may not seem this wouldn't creep women out and on the surface it  just looks a "nice guy" problem - (meaning if women are rejecting you with the overused excuse of "You're too nice." or friend zoning you a lot) - then you're partly right but you must understand...

It's feel manipulative to women when you do these things and when she senses you like her but are not willing to do anything about it AND you're constantly trying to get her to reveal if she likes you or not - that's when you cross the line over to creepy.

Here are a few page posted here to help you "see the light" AND will stop you from appearing creepy:

"There is a big difference between being a good guy and being too much of a nice guy. How your nice guy ways are not the reason why you're failing.

If you listen to all the bad dating advice out there, you're apt to treat women badly, and that won't lead to success in dating either.

This is how it is."

The Difference Between "Nice" and "Mr Nice Guy"


“Nice guys don’t attract women for reasons beyond the old adage.

It’s because they’re selfish, emotionally greedy, and don’t earn the respect from women and others. They think they’re a victim. T

hey want to be liked because they feel they deserve it.

They based how they feel on how others see them.”

Do You Suffer From the Nice Guy Syndrome? Damaging Your Self Respect

And then make sure you go through ALL my nice guy tips starting with this one:

Being Nice Has Little or Nothing to Do with Attraction

Next up...

#3. Do you linger around women without saying anything to her and spend lots of time checking her out first?

She feels it.

She sees it.

She knows it's happening and to her it just plain strange man!

When you linger around a woman  "hoping" something will happen WITHOUT even saying a word - you're acting sketchy and more than borderline creepy.

Keep in mind I've done all this AND where I am today has allowed me to not only ask women how they feel about it,  but also now have women literally run to me to avoid a guy who's doing it.

Don't be that guy.

You must understand most "sober" women are well aware of their surroundings and know when a guy is lingering close by to them.

They feel like you want to approach them but when you don't THAT is when it becomes creepy, looks weak, and unfortunately make you look like you have absolutely no courage at all.

Now the courage part she can understand.

Any REAL woman gets how hard it is in certain situations to just walk right up to her and start a conversation BUT again - she can not help how it feels... creepy.

IF you want to say something don't just check her out from afar for way too long, don't get close to her hoping the universe will bring you two together, don't linger about fidgeting she will open you up...

Take the risk and say "Hello..." and let her see all the other guys you passed by to get to her as the real creeps.

This isn't normally a bar or club problem either - it can happen anywhere. If you need some help on approaching women - there is certainly a vast amount of resources to help you out.

Where To Meet Women and Removing The Fears Of Approach Naturally

Approach Women With No Anxiety & Fears – Four Words Changes Everything

How To Approach Many Types of Women When They Look Inapproachable

The Fearless Approach To Meeting Women With No Pressure To Perform

How To Give Any Woman The Perfect Compliment – Steps On How To Create One

STOP lingering - START saying something within a few short seconds and this whole creep bullshit - goes out the window.

#4. Can you answer yes to the last three questions but somehow still manage get her number?

Whether you got it from a friend or quickly asked for it as you left doesn't matter.

Normally this is followed by leaving a quick message to her because she probably didn't answer her phone or worse... it was a fake number.

She gave you her number to avoid rejecting you publicly. She was just being nice. She just wanted to get rid of you.

Yes, it's harsh but it's reality and there's no need or benefit to lie to you about it. Keeping the truth from you won't help you to be seen less creepy.

This one IS a clear sign that women are perceiving you a little strange and creepy and it's included here because you're not seeing it.

You're getting numbers and all, right? Women are talking to you. It feels like you're not doing anything wrong BUT since the results are not happening then you're obviously doing something wrong...

Take an objective look at HOW you're getting the numbers and if you are positive that 1,2, and 3 in the list are happening to you or you're  doing them - then that's actually GREAT NEWS because you now know why they're not working out for you and HOW to STOP it.

Onto the fifth...

#5. Do you send messages to women's profiles trying to appear open, honest, & genuine?

Creepy Guy Sending Online Message

With so many of you doing the online dating thing this one needs to be covered.

You may believe you're just being open and honest.

You know, being genuine, real, and upfront BUT if your message matches or comes close to the ones written below AND you're not getting any real response or success then it's because  BOTH leading to creeping her out:

"You are amazingly beautiful and I know I may never have a chance with you but I just wanted to let you know you seem very special to me. If you're interested at all. Please write me back."

"Hello. I love your profile. You seem like a nice woman. If you're interested in getting to know each other - please write me back."

She reads the message and feels like you're way too nice and unfortunately being too NICE always look sketchy.

Imagine someone walking up to you and telling you he just wants to help you, how it's all for you, or how he's constantly trying to sell you the fact the he has YOUR best interest in mind... feels creepy, doesn't it?

You just know something is wrong with the offer and you're going to get screwed and not literally.

Unfortunately - messages to women even close to those above FEEL the same way to women.

Now of course - creepy may not apply to this situation and again, it doesn't matter what "word" you use to describe what is happening - what matters is how it FEELS to the woman getting the message.

A few things are happening when she gets the message.

She scans it quickly and checks out your profile and if your profile does nothing to eliminate her "stranger danger" feeling she gets from it - she hits delete.

She scans it quickly and feels like you're trying way too hard and apart from anything else - it's doing nothing to engage her to write you back.

Either way - avoid messages like this entirely.

There's an online dating course I'm offering but is currently in the re-write section. I'll update this post with the links when it's ready.

You can sign up to DiaLteG TM and I'll let you know when it's ready OR you could pick this up today to change your online dating habits which could easily be creeping women out:

Click here for a Proven System For Getting Tons Of Dates With Amazing Women Online… With Almost Zero Effort!

It's the exact strategy and product I used to go from lame dates on fucking match dot freaking com (yeah, hate that site) to landing women half my age - casual sex and a few incredibly awesome "hot" girlfriends.

So yeah - it comes highly recommended... by me.

You get an automatic system for:

  • Creating RESPONSE-GENERATING Emails & Profiles
  • Finding The BEST Online Dating Destinations
  • Turning Chats And Emails Into ACTUAL DATES

And everything you'll ever need to succeed with women online without coming off as creepy.

Click here for a Proven System For Getting Tons Of Dates With Amazing Women Online… With Almost Zero Effort!

(That's an affiliated link - no extra cost to you but I will earn a commission when you buy and IF you don't return it under his (David DeAngelo) rules of returning bought items.)

Small update:

Here's one of my latest posts when and if you're not ready to throw some cash on the table to successfully date online:

Want to Get More Dates Online? 5 Secrets & 7 Tips for the Nice Guy

And here's a rather strange report thrown to me that some of you may be interested in reading:

Free Download: The Facebook "Fuck-buddy" Seduction System .pdf

#6. Do you mention sex quickly and too often when you first meet a girl?

Frustrated Young Woman Creeped Out

This would be the total opposite of number 2 above in one way and in another way - is similar when it's used to "fish" for how she might be feeling about you or how far she would go with you sexually.

Forcing the topic of sex early doesn't just hint to her that you don't get any, she assumes it.

She will also feel like you're just trying to get in her pants which is not just creepy, kind of disgusting.

Either way this happens, it's not and NEVER a good thing.

Bringing up sex in any conversation with a woman you just met requires tact. It also requires conversational skills and timing.

It's not easy, is it?

Some tell you just to bring it up early and get it out of the way. Some say wait until she mentions it.

The absolute BEST and most beneficial way is to first STOP doing it and secondly, stop FORCING it.

If you're chatting with a woman and having a great fun conversation and you're both flirting a little it will come up all on its own.

Sure there are "tactics" you can use which may or may not lead in this direction, something you can read about here:

"Some guys think it's OK to talk about sex with girls they've just met. They steer the conversation towards sex, or make sexual comments in an attempt to be funny and 'spice up' the conversation.

Other guys think that talking about sex implies they have a lot of experience in the bedroom, and that women will find this alluring.

Women are generally not interested or impressed by this type of talk."

One Night Stands Secret: How Your Conversations Can Lead To Sex or Not

Yet my personal advice, so you're less likely to be creeping her out - is to let the conversation naturally flow in that direction if it's suitable.

Focus on ATTRACTION and FLIRTING first.

When a man and woman start feeling sexual chemistry together the topic of sex, innuendos, stories, adventures, or whatever WILL come up all own their own.

Read my online chapters on flirting and attraction right here:

Learn How To Flirt & Start Flirting With Every Women You Meet – Essential Skill Of Attraction

The Real Secret to Attracting Women & Getting Laid No One Knows But Me

BOTH will help you to avoid looking like a creep.


#7. Do you stare at her from far away but never get the courage to say "Hi"?

This is slightly different from lingering but its effect is just the same.

You stare at her.

You look away quickly when she looks back at you.

You keep trying to put yourself in a position that you can check her out without her seeing you.

You do anything and everything to not get caught and when you do... you basically slither away trying to blend into the background because you feel embarrassed.

Women are beyond excellent at noticing when a guy is checking them out. They have an intuition which surpasses most men in the entire world at knowing when it is happening to them.

Some are curious and "sort of" enjoy the Ego boost. Some are confused and they don't understand why it's happening or what your purpose is.

One of my most visited pages for women is: Why Does A Guy Stare At A Woman But Not Approach with good reason.

Give it a visit and check out all the comments.

This is a BIG deal for women.

The point today for you is...

Those women are so utterly confused by your actions they search for an answer on any search engine they use.

And those are just the ones who go online looking for a reason as to why they're being stared at, imagine ever other woman you're doing it too goes through something else...

It makes her feel self-conscious. It makes her nervous.

Lastly - she feels "CREEPED" out!

Check her out. Get a glimpse. Don't look at away so quickly. ADMIRE her if you like, just don't stare for too long doing nothing wile looking away because you're only creeping her out.

Here's an article written for you if this is what you're doing:

"It may not seem like a big deal to most men and women, right? Who actually cares? Men get caught staring at “Chics” ALL the time.

But there’s more to all this seemingly innocent “checking girls out” when you’re first learning how to be a more attractive guy and trying to become less of what is commonly called a wussy."

Were You Caught Staring At Her Ass? How To Handle The Wussy Slip

Next up...

#8. While talking to a woman, do you avoid topics because you're worried she won't like you?

Avoid Topic Creepy Sign

It's all too easy to miss this one because it doesn't feel creepy to you.

Who doesn't want to put their best attributes forward, right? Who doesn't want to look good when they meet someone?

And it's perfectly okay to not disqualify yourself early on. You wouldn't want a woman to tell you everything that is wrong with her right away.

(Well of course in some cases that could be useful. You wouldn't want to find out on your wedding day that she's been married five times and each husband died of a mysterious death!)

BUT... you must look at this from HER perspective.

If it feels like to her that you are HIDING something, avoiding topics like past relationships, ex's, sex, etc...

Then she starts to wonder why or WHAT is so bad that you feel you have to hide it from her.

And that is why it makes you look a little creepy and in the very real sense of the word.

You shouldn't disqualify yourself from her and if it's an issue for you then please take the time read this:

10 Easy Ways You Can Stop Disqualifying Yourself to Women & Attract Her

The best easiest way to avoid this happening when you're interacting with women is of course to lead the conversation in the positive direction you want it to go.

Another way is have a quick neutral response to questions you might not want to answer too early.

Just make sure you're not playing it too safe so it doesn't feel like you're hiding something from her AND also what she feels is perfectly acceptable to ask you - MAKE SURE she has her own answers too.

Onto the never-ending-don't care about the answers guy...

#9. Do you find yourself asking a woman you just met, question after question but never really having any interest in hearing the answer?

This is a symptom of being stuck in your own head.

Over-thinking everything.

Over-analyzing what you're going to say instead of what she's talking about.

If you're overly nice AND she's finding it difficult to connect with you... it may come off as sketchy or, for this post... creepy.

This also leads to awkward silences and her answers become short and boring.

Almost like she doesn't want to be talking to you.

Her eyes glaze over as she looks over our shoulder hoping someone will swoop in and save her from the creepy guy she's got stuck talking to.

Listen, I understand it's probably a nervous thing and as above, it's okay to be nervous and most real women are aware of it when it's happening...

However just imagine for one moment what it FEELS like to her and you will easily conclude how creepy it actually is.

The "overcoming your nervousness around women" is covered above in number nine so for this one the best solution (although a little difficult to master) is to work on your conversational skills with women.

Start with this page and work your way through all of it.

You'll find it will show you amazing conversational techniques:

Bobby Rio Interview - Conversation Escalation: Make Small Talk Sexy

Lastly - an update...

#10: UPDATE - If you're asking any of these questions... it feels CREEPY.

Woman Surprised Guy Said Asked

"Men will often say the wrong things or ask the wrong inappropriate questions to girls which are considered highly unattractive.

Never ask a woman, or say these things to a woman during your conversations with her if you want her like you.

This list is to help you avoid common mistakes made when talking to women."

17 Questions You Should Never Ask A Girl If You Want Her To Like You

In conclusion...

Yes - creep or being seen as creepy by a woman may just be a word they use to describe "strange" or a way to explain it when something doesn't feel right about a guy.

BUT... usually in life it's not our intentions or what we intend to say or do that means anything, HOW it is perceived is generally more important.

This certainly includes ATTRACTION or lack there of by creeping women out.

Hopefully, through today's post you can being to eliminate the creepiness women might be feeling around you because I do firmly believe you're probably not the standard definition of it - you're just doing certain things which are making you look that way.

Thanks for stopping by and I do hope you've learned something new today to help you succeed in becoming a more attractive man - naturally.

You know what to do if you have any questions, comments, advice, tips of your own, experiences with women you'd like to share or even yes, what certain women do that CREEP YOU OUT.

Now that would be an interesting subject.

No More Guessing – Get Real Answers!

DiaLteG Perfect Woman

Sorry, not everything at DiaLteG Tm is available everyone.

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22 Signs Of Attraction & Interest A Woman Will ALWAYS Give Youu!

Her Attraction Signs Signals Cover

♦ What happens when you have fears of being sexually unattractive. Six ways you make it worse but comes with an easy fix.

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♦ How to interpret a woman’s signals and the order of their importance. She only has 3 which makes learning them easy and highly important to memorize for best results.

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Stop wasting time with women who only will EVER want to be your friend!


Dave here (…) I never put it use in my social life probably because I was raised to believe only “sluts” want sex and who wants a slut, right? Right now she is looking pretty good. LOL (…)  making me feel better about many things I just wanted to say I am glad I accidentally ran across your site and to say Thank You and keep up the good work. 

Thank You again your awesome and your teachings are also, Dave Allen

About the author: Peter White – I know a few things about life, dating, attraction, & relationships. It feels great to share & also helps pay some bills. Get in touch, become a member, and hope you get something useful out of it all.

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The article is posted in these Categories: Mistakes – Knowing What They Are & Finding Out How To Fix Them Easily, Social Skills, Socializing, Getting Along & Public Communication

Leave a Comment

26 comments… add one
  • E

    Oh and the whole “stray away from any conversation that would bring out your weakness around women”??? What?? What fucking guy who is inexperienced with women and don’t have much experience to show for is going to want to fucking have a proud conversation of never having had a girlfriend or sex? God damn it. Women shouldn’t be fucking asking about your sexual or relationship history when first meeting you. You said it yourself that projecting confidence is attractive. Part of projecting confidence is…ta da!!! Not giving her the idea you’re inexperienced! Because that’s “creepy” somehow! Oh man. So much contradiction in this article.

  • E

    Ableist article. If you are on the autism spectrum you don’t intuitively get some of the clues others get. So you have to either shoot in the dark and understand that at some point you’re going to make someone uncomfortable, or just simply avoid women completely.

    This article also presents things from a very traditionally masculine view. Prefer the women to approach? Creepy. Have body language that suggests you may be “beta” or lower status? Creepy. I’m sorry but all this does is shit on people who don’t have it in them to just “take” what they want from others.

    • Well E, you’re right, the article doesn’t deal with guys who (as you wrote) may be on the autism spectrum BUT it didn’t intend to deal with that issue at all.

      And yes you’re also right – it does present things from a masculine view… because women tend to be attracted to men who are masculine. I didn’t create women. I have no control over that. Are you attracted to masculine women? I’m not. I ‘m attracted to feminine women. It’s the way things work not counting the gay community of course but again, that’s not the intention of this article.

  • What

    All those things have happened to me. I’m going to hypnotherapy to fix it.

  • Wizard

    #7, #8 completely, 31 year old virgin who gets cold sweats and trembles when he talks to attractive women in anything other than a professional manner.

    • E

      And they are creeped out by this. Disgusting. We live in a society where it’s unacceptable to have anxiety and unacceptable to hit life milestones when people expect you to. How any of this list is even remotely creepy is beyond me. And the article also has a strong “dominant” slant to it. Meaning that men are supposed to be dominant. So because I am submissive both in bed and personality-wise, I’m “creepy”. Wow. This guy who wrote this article is really something.

      • You keep saying you’re a “submissive” guy but then you leave comments like this which are far from submissive. They’re just plain rude barely thought out rages against someone who has no control over how women see you. The fact that you “claim” to be submissive and yet have the balls to throw curses around and “beat your chest” while at the same time blaming society for YOUR problems IS creepy man.

  • rather not say

    Hi I got a question for u guys ok there’s this foreign exchange girl that I like and towards the beginning of the school year she used to sit by me at lunch and stuff and we went to a dance together which I found out we have some stuff in common but then the days after the dance the group of friends that she hangs out with quit sitting by my friends so I didn’t get to talk to her much ( even went a couple weeks at a time) but then I ran into her and we talked a little bit. But after like a week or so she sat by me at lunch and we talked a little bit but she didn’t seem interested in me and didn’t make much eye contact. I mean we still make eye contact and stuff at lunch and in the halls but I’m way too shy to say anything. Also like a week ago we talked over Facebook about stuff. So am I being creepy or does she like me or what?

    • Hey. Hard to tell if you’re being creepy by what you wrote BUT chances are, her situation has changed. She’s making more friends. She’s trying to fit in. She’s finding her social niche. If any of that has nothing to do with you, then I would assume she’ll slowly lose or stop contacting you as much. T

      If you’re doing all the contacting, if you asked for her Facebook information but she didn’t as much care about getting yours, if she doesn’t act interested in you or is not making much of an effort (again, you’re doing all the work) then I’d say your instincts are right, she’s just not that interested in you.

      Now, sure you could’ve come off as creepy but since I don’t know the nature of your interactions with her, it’s hard for me to tell.

      Chances are though, based on your conversations with her, you didn’t create any attraction. THAT is more important. Talking is good, especially if you want to make friends, but it’s what you talk about, how you talk about it, what your words do to her, what kind of questions you ask, how you ask them, and how you respond to her questions will normally determine how much attraction is created. HOW you interact with her, approach her, things like that will determine more of how creepy you come across. I’d say you should definitely work on or look into your conversations with women. Look around here I have plenty of ways to guide you.

      Also, now that there is not attraction, if you’re still staring, still trying to connect, still trying to gain her gaze, then YES, that is definitely going to come across as creepy so you might want to stop doing that immediately. Start fresh with her.

      Hope that helps you “Rather Not Say” and all the best of luck to you,


  • Crystal

    #3 is spot on because I just encountered a situation like that recently. We’ve been friends (though I see him more as an acquaintance) for over a year, but for the past few weeks he’s been sneaking around me while I’m doing homework and sitting next to me without saying hi (and I’m so focused that I don’t see him), then messaging me and asking what I’m doing or that I’m not wearing my usual signature clothing, and not in a playful but direct “I see you” way either. Basically he expected me to say hi and would ask me to guess how I knew what I was doing or that I was “killing him” (by ignoring him) as though it was my fault he didn’t speak up. The first few times I was fine with it, but when I started noticing him doing it more and more, it honestly terrified me. Later on, he told me he didn’t want to distract me, but even that implies that he expected a LONG conversation and not just a simple “hi” that would have sufficed.

    It was really the combination of having him indirectly ask me to accompany him several times or just checking me out in general and talking WAY too much about the most inane topics (nothing that would create closeness or “knowing”) that slowly started freaking me out though. Maybe it’s because I’m the type of girl who doesn’t mind when guys are a little nervous because it shows authenticity, and he has many female friends and rarely if ever seems nervous about talking to me. So that disconnect really made me uncomfortable. Guys – please don’t do what he did, because it feels like you’re exemplifying the creep in a horror movie.

    While the other ones touch upon the major issues just as well, this one fit perfectly to a situation fresh in my mind.

    • Thanks for sharing Crystal and I most certainly agree, #3 Hovering close without doing or saying anything is a big creepy move which often leaves lingering discomfort. Making it hard to change how she feels.

  • Shy Boy

    Hi! Can you tell me if the girl I have crush on take me as creepy. Here’s what happened. I opened the door to the library, and right on that moment, when I opened it, I saw my crush. So I looked at her, and I also caught her looking at me. I have had read an article before about eye contacts and body language, so I tried what I learned. When I saw her looking at me, I looked away, then I looked at her again; and again I saw her looking at me.(Right that means good thing?) So, I had the courage and tried to move closer to the table where she was sitting. But when I get there, I ended up saying high to my basketball pal. And actually didn’t approach her. The next time I looked at her that day, she snubbed me already. What do you think?

    • Hi,

      I’m not sure what article you read about eye contact but based on my experience it wasn’t quite right. What you did was submissive. When you make good clean eye contact with a woman you want to hold your gaze just a little longer than her and do it softly so you don’t come off as crazy or creepy.

      It sounds like that article was perhaps trying to show you a way to tell if a woman is in fact checking you out or just looking your way but none of that should matter.

      If you make eye contact with a woman do NOT look away, squint a little and hint an inviting smile and hold the gaze until SHE looks away first.

      Your next move wasn’t ( unfortunately ) courageous. It’s called lingering and most women who are in the right frame of mind notice it immediately and often find it creepy.

      When you get close enough to a woman to speak with her ( like you’re going to approach her ) the fearless move is to say something to her. You don’t necessarily have to talk with her but to stay out of her “creep zone” at least acknowledge her presence before you chat with your friends. That way your lingering won’t seem as creepy.

      She might have snubbed you later on because you did come off as creepy from the lingering, appeared not too confident by not holding your gaze and by not saying a word to her she could’ve easily felt rejected.

      There’s always two sides. If you didn’t come off as creepy to her ( like she didn’t notice any of it ) then she’d be wondering why you didn’t say a word to her thus sort of rejecting her. She might even be wondering why you were staring at her the second time when you already rejected her making her feel self-conscious and dejected from the whole experience.

      Just take a look at these two articles I wrote and notice the all comments because you’ll see how deep this whole “staring contest” goes and just how women might take the eye contact.



      Hope that helps you out Shy Boy,


  • Both 1 and 2 are yeses for me but for the most part, everything else I would answer no. I am quick to say things like “I like you” or anything similar to that but I haven’t had the chance to get to know her yet nor she has with me and I say it anyway. Another thing I struggle with is that I wish that a girl would take the initiative for me because well what you said was right on and I’m insecure to speak up for myself sometimes but when I do I tend to be a little hasty about it. As for why I would say no to the rest of the questions you asked is because I always enjoy a good conversation with a woman and sometimes I would compliment her but that’s not an attempt to get her to like me. I just like saying those things. I mean yeah there was one time where I would feel that way but as I’m learning more about love and relationships, it helps me turn into the type of guy I want to be for a girl. I always like to keep a conversation going because silence for me is nerve-racking and that might be strange coming from a guy but I really hate awkward silences and I try to keep a conversation as interesting as possible. This post had a lot of good advice and I was glad to read it and thanks for putting your knowledge up!

  • S-252

    It’s sad how many men are nowadays struggling with absolutely unattainable standards they need to meet, struggle for years with loneliness – and nobody even registers it as a problem, just telling them to “man up”.

    • Kevin

      Yeah, but you’d better not say anything…stiff upper lip. Why aren’t you doing more to make life easier for women? It’s amazing the hypocrisy that runs so deep in society…but again, be careful about pointing it out. No one will be sympathetic…no women, certainly not even yer mum. Why haven’t you done more to correct the “injustices” in society for the pampered gender?

  • Liann

    As a female, a guy comes across as a creepy with 3 things:
    Over closeness at the wrong time – if two people have had enough eye contact/body language so the female has invited the guy to come into whole flirting stage, then a bit of closeness and subtle touching (eg arm) is ok. If that invite hasn’t been sent (yet) and you just dive in to being close, it’s just creepy!
    Needy – constant compliments and communication is not cool. It’s nice to chase a little so chat/message and then leave it a while (not too long!). It makes women curious….what could he possibly be up to rather than message me back?!? Compliments each time you log on or pick up the phone is just annoying and creepy.
    Not on your level – if you’re completely lacking confidence and make yourself seem like the woman is so much of a higher status then you, whatever you say to hit on her will come across as creepy.

    Confidence is the key. No matter what you look like, as long as your confident (calm, at ease with yourself) and engage in the woman’s signals then you’ll get any woman.