Read the steps below. They are what most men assume must be taken to meet a woman you’re see online…
- You read her profile.
- You become interested in her.
- You send her a message.
- She responds.
- You send a few messages back and forth.
- You exchange phone numbers.
- You talk for a short time on the phone.
- You set up a date for a quick meeting.
The steps appear reasonable, right?
It’s a logical progression to go from online to meeting in person.
How could you “possibly” accomplish all the quicker?
Well, on the surface it looks right but it’s actually missing two important elements…
#1. Women are NOT logical.
If you use logical means, which you feel “should” work because it makes sense, to create and build attraction in any social environment, you will fail 9 times out of 10.
Using logic, as in the online to meeting steps above when you’re dealing with the feelings or emotions created through attraction you will drive yourself crazy trying to figure out why what you’re doing, is not working consistently or quickly enough.
#2. Where or who she is in her life or mind.
You have no control over where a woman is in her life. How she feels. Where’s she’s been. What kind of relationship she has been in.
You have no control over what she thinks, how she thinks it, or even what she may think in the future about you.
If you want to meet more women in person from an online introduction throw away any logical steps are going to help you and understand this…
They are going to happen anyways!
Let me first warn you… This post is NOT about turning you and your profile into an attractive billboard women flock to.
Some guys profiles are more important than others.
Some men just naturally attract women online better because of who they are and what they represent to her.
That’s the reality of it all.
If you want to enhance your online presence please read my entire series designed to increase your success online: Are You Frustrated With Your Online Dating Experience?
Another reality of online is…
You are nothing more than a click away from being denied.
You can easily become a selection similar to her choosing a pair of shoes.
So let’s throw away logic and ask ourselves this question:
What does a woman NEED to FEEL to meet a man quicker over the internet?
Attracted ~ You make her feel more confident, self-aware, and always leave her in a better mood after a conversation.
Comfortable ~ She wants to be at ease with who you are.
Challenged ~ She wants to feel like you’re worth the effort.
Excited ~ She wants to feel anticipation and wonder.
Special ~ She understands how dating works but she still wants to stand out among all the others you are writing or dating.
Safe ~ She wants to know she can trust you.
Frustrated ~ Because she wants to feel the sensations of being teased and/or titillated.
Urgency ~ She must feel like if she doesn’t act quickly, she may miss out on you.
Need ~ Different than urgency she wants a “need to get to know you” better.
Focus on creating those feelings inside her and you WILL avoid logic and create emotions.
You will develop the freedom to do what you want and radiate a natural indifference.
It’s easy being picky when we have more choices.
It’s easy to walk away.
It’s easier to create a unique path for ourselves when the map is written by us and not some logical progression we think should work.
I’ve been through the logical steps I wrote in the beginning of this post and it got me nowhere. Once I began to focus on creating the same feelings online that I did in person, a world of dating options began to open.
I covered what I could in my profile and reinforced it with my messages, and whatever feelings were left over became the ones which made the difference between meeting or being turned down.
Most women will NEVER meet you until you cover 6 or 7 of them competently.
I recently asked a woman what she was thinking when we started messaging online and this is a paraphrased version of what she said,
“I don’t know. I was thinking… What is with this guy. He writes. Disappears a little. Writes again. I give him no more than one word answers and the next thing I know we create a fictional character, flirt a little, and one night he says call me and I do.”
Now look at those feelings I described above again:
Attracted. Comfortable. Challenged. Excited. Special. Safe. Frustrated. Urgency. Need.
I led her off by being my complete self. A persistent, fun, ball busting guy, with a lot of charm. She was obviously attracted to me and my personality.
She began to feel excited to message with me.
My profile set up a challenge which was congruent with my lifestyle. She also knew I was talking with many other women. I was socially proofed in the online world and this can create a sense of urgency in her mind.
I made her feel comfortable (fun, charming) and created a special connection between us involving a fictional character we created together.
As we talked on the phone she began to feel more safe with who I was.
Notice the lack of logical progression. Notice I never focused on trying to get to that next logical step.
Here’s a very important note to always remember.
As the rest of the pieces were falling into place I never had to be something I wasn’t to make it happen. I made sure I did not have to wait or rely on a physical introduction to build the attraction.
It does not matter if you’re meeting women online, or in person, cover the basics of her emotions through who you are and the logic of it all will take care of itself.