I feel, based on my observations, the four main things men fear in their lives are:
2. Speaking in Public.
3. Being alone.
4. Approaching an attractive and/or successful woman.
I plan on keeping this intro short. I want all men to read this short interview. She is a friend of a woman I’ve been casually dating, and she just happens to be a model. A young attractive model with goals, aspirations, attitude, and a persona she claims no one can break.
What I want you to take away from this is how easy it really is to begin a conversation with a woman like this. How approachable, within reason, they are. I also want you to understand how many women would agree with her answers.
As a side note the four fears I listed above are related to your dating success (man or woman):
- A man who is not afraid to face change head on is much closer to mature masculinity then the other.
- A man who is not afraid to lay his ass on the line and voices his opinions in public will be seen as a leader of himself.
- A man who is not afraid to stare into the abyss of his own loneliness, and learns to be complete by himself, holds the key to his indifference.
…And any man who can at least give a little effort to satisfying the first three items on the list will find the fear of approaching any woman ridiculous. He can then begin to learn how to create attraction through his conversations, which I will admit, is a much harder skill to learn.
Let me introduce to you Brittneigh Wood!
What is the best way to approach you in a public place?
(If he’s presentable and not acting like an ass, like supermarket, busy streets)
He just needs to not try to throw hints at me, come up and say “aye whats up.” I hate a guy that tries to flirt.
You can tell when he’s trying to flirt?
Yes! I hate it. The sly smiles. The looking at me up and down staring, blahhh I already deal with that at shoots. I dont want it when im walking down the street or out and about, fuck you.
Whats the first thing you noticed about a guy that makes you want to approach them?
Shoes If you have a nice pair a shoes I know you care enough about attention to detail.
No particular shoes, just taken care of?
Nikes,Jordans, and also, I love me some skater shoes ahaha
But what if that isn’t his style, the shoes you mentioned…me I wear Doc Martens.
As long as they look good with your style.
I know a guy that only wears flip-flops. Shit we share flip-flops lol but he looks good in em.
So be consistent and show some style. That’s advice men can get from any women with style. Right?
Yes No matter what your into punk/goth/preppy/nerd/old school… just look good doing it.
What the first thing you notice about a guy that screams to you, don’t approach me please!!!?
How pathetic they act lol
All men, when they come up to me or anything, I can see how sorry they are. How scared they are.
Man up no matter how scared you are. Fucking just learn how to hide it.
But what is something you notice that says, approach me please!!!!?
The eyes. Eyes are a big thing. No matter what color they are look into someones eyes and you can tell EVERYTHING. How happy they are, how sad, everything!
Is it different from a party or club or bar?
(In their approach to you.)
Yes and no. Ya know if I’m at the supermarket, I’m with my daughter. If I’m at the club im out dancing so yea.
If I am at the club, fuck, just come up and fucking start dancing with me. We can talk after the song is done.
So it’s all about great eye contact and context. We shouldn’t start dancing with you when you’re at the mall with your daughter. HAha!
ahah noo my daughter would probly hit you shes a little violent aha
Haha! So in a market I would walk up to her and say…”Can I steal your Mommy?” Would that work?
Would most likely be your best bet cuz if she doesnt like you I wont even talk to you.
Oh girl you’d be putty in my hands then. All women like me. I know how to “conversate.” :p
ahah not my daughter she hates most men. Shes goin to be more of a cold-hearted monster than me.
Yeah but I’m short and don’t intimidate kids. They dig me cause I treat them like little adults with respect.
lmao She will make fun of you then. My daughter is 3 going on 30.
I hope so. If she pokes fun, she digs me. Just like you.
ahah if thats what you think
Yes Ma’am. It’s what I believe.
I know one guy who has recently asked me for my advice. He’s good-looking, tall, confident, but he cowers at approaching an attractive woman. He wants to learn how to let go of his fears first, because he freezes up. Any advice for him?
Whats the worse this girl can say to him, no, right? Well just go for it. Inside… cry, scream, w.e you want. Just dont show it. Simply ask her for her number. Give her a sly smile. Pick something most guys wouldnt notice about her and compliment her. Thats how the smart ones get me.
Thats how I met my exhubby years ago. I was the untouchable girl in high school. Kinda like that twilight sage edward is untouchable, but the girl that is a wall flower is the one that gets him.
Haha! Oh Miss Brittneigh Wood.
What did he say to you?
He came up said hi to me. Told me that he liked my necklace and where I got it from. I told him it was my great grandmas and we started talking. Then I actually just gave him my number. After that we were attached to each others sides til the war.
Interesting. Most guys are not trained to notice those little details women love to talk about it. I tell them, when they ask what they should wear, is to find something as in jewelry, that has a story, and something that entices a better conversation.
What is the one thing a guy can mention, because he rarely does, to start a conversation? In other words what do you want noticed about you?
There is really not one thing. Most everything a girl puts on, such as head bands, necklaces, rings, bracelets, all are something she loves or they wouldnt be on them. So compliment those if they are gold or something like that. Most likely a family member they love gave it to them. For me, each thing I wear has a memory that I love. So bring those things up and see what they have to say about them. Even if theres no story the girls going to love that you are interested in something she loves.
What conversations get you excited?
(Or what do you like guys to talk about when they approach)
Bring up something a girl, any girl would be into that you know something about and even if you dont give a fuck what it is. Just act interested, nod every once in awhile, smile.
Haha! Oh nice. Woman do love to talk.
Oh yes! Most. Some dont though, I know with me sometimes, I’ll talk your ear off, other times its more about body language.
But I personally don’t give compliments out too often. It’s just not me. What would suggest for that?
About him. So I can just listen. I was raised to pay attn to detail. I love listening to people’s stories and watch where their hands go. Where their eyes are. Their twitch cuz everyone has one.
I don’t. But I’ve learned to eliminate them one by one.
Most people dont. You may not even notice it. I know you can try but you wont. My (personal information deleted), he taught me how to read people. I bet I could find yours.
If you’re good enough, I bet you could too. But under most circumstances just eliminating the obvious ones are good enough. I know women are not looking for perfection. Just consistency. My problem for so many years was staring too much at a woman’s mouth. If I find myself doing it I made it a point to stare softly into her eyes and hold them there.
Oh gawd if you started into my eyes id have to walk away…
Or I’d start laughing uncontrollably.
Haha! why is that?
Its too serious! You’re reading into me. Nobody reads into me unless im ready for it.
Ah but it’s not like I keep it up. I just make sure it happens within a fraction of a second. Then I lean back and relax.
Alright thats okay.
You can really creep out a woman by doing shit like that for a while. But that’s a whole different subject I can not get into right now…
Let’s get sexual.
Haha! Oh Miss Brittneigh Wood. I don’t want to turn you on too much while you’re doing house work. It will never get done…SO….Have you ever got turned sexually on by just a conversation alone? (phone texting or internet chat)
Texting and internet yes. But nothing verbally. Well once this guys voice sucked me in.
So only one guy actually turned you on during a conversation face to face. But not on the phone?
No. Unless he’s telling me details about what his going to do to me lol.
What if I were to tell you I could turn you on verbally, any way I want with just my voice and not talking sexually, would you believe me?
Oh I know it’s possible.
The right tone of voice. The right topic of conversations. The slow methodic sexually thrusting of adjectives and verbs. The pausing and restarting. The teasing of her mind with verbal foreplay. How good do you think a guy has to be, to be able to do that? To you that is.
They have to be good. You have to know what you’re doing.
Do you believe any man can learn it? It’s a long hard journey for some. For others it comes so natural. Similar to a lions confident strong walk when he’s looking after his pride.
But is it worth learning?
For some girls, yes.
What about you?
Me. I’m not your everyday girl, so yes.
So the higher up the quality of woman, you’re saying you’re going to need it all to get you. But every day girls, hell, just talk to them and be yourself.
I know you’re doing housework. Just hanging out. I don’t know what kind of sexual mood you are in. What topic would I bring up in this situation to get you a little wet. Knowing we’ve talked for a while and I’m not just some dude random messaging you.
That’s hard I really dont even know lol. I’m a very hard person to get to mentally and physically. I’ve been through a lot. I can have a guy grinding against me that I’m into and not feel a thing.
Me I need passion.
You need fire. Frustration. Soft sensual words. You need your state of mind to be slowly brought into a world so different from everyday life. A world where you can allow your mind to be free and explore every possible event.
Psh I love cleaning thank you.
You like showing off too.
Oh yes. I’m a very big show off.
So I could sit back and watch you clean. You could tell me a little bit about it.
Oh I love it. My house is always clean. I love picking up a mess and making it look like it was never there.
Kinda like me when I do my make up and the bruises, the past is gone.
But I want to dirty that house up. I want you to look at a spot and know we’ve had sex there. I want you to be reminded I layed you out over the coffee table one day and we both screamed. I want you to remember it all.
Oh I will but the rest of the world doesn’t need to know most girls have an amazing mind. We remember everything even if we play stupid. I look at something and it brings back everything I’ve done with it.
Even if you only imagined it. Right?
Have you imagined us having sex already. Where it would be. How it would possibly happen. How good I was. But more importantly how good you were?
Yes. Most guys I think are hot or anything, I think about it. Where. How. When.
Are you imagining it now?
And what will you be thinking about the next time you clean your house? Let’s hear them. I want to hear those naked thoughts of yours. I want to know how hard nipples were, and how flushed your face got. How much your legs shaked.
Aha lets not go into that.
(personal information deleted here…sorry guys)
Just tell me something that pisses you off about men that you wish you could change, so you could make men more mature and masculine. Something guys do that ruins it for you all too often.
Stop assuming we are all the same in categories. If you’re blonde and skinny, you’re a slut that don’t eat. If you’re fat but you know what you got and show it off then you’re a slut that can’t stop eating. Shit like that.
We’re all different.
On the outside you’re all different. But what about on the inside?
Guys look at me, even guys that know me, and think that I’m just a player. Nobody really knows me.
…and were all different on the inside and outside lol
In other words to “get in your pants” you better learn who you really are. And how does a guy do this when you hold back so much?
They just watch and learn.
Can he just say, I want to learn about who you are, what you’re thinking, everything I can, without sounding like a creep playing games?
He can but thats hard cuz every guy has their own way of saying it.
So it’s the old saying, it’s not what you say, but how you say it, and where you’re coming from that makes all the difference in the world..
Alright I won’t get too deep into that. Haha! That’s a never-ending subject.
But all in all talking to an attractive sexy woman such as yourself doesn’t have to be a game or a pickup. It’s about being genuine, confident. And NEVER predicting the outcome. Leave you the mystery and you will fill in the holes yourself.
Thanks Brittneigh. I appreciated this a lot and I look forward to doing another one real soon. And personally, your lifer is kick ass and you know it.