Let’s take a short journey down a logical road and see what transpires on this very delicate and often argued issue.
Women complain about how guys are only into looks or sex. How we’re only interested in big tits or a nice ass or any hot body that passes our way.
Now when it comes to women, they’ll claim attraction is more than just looks to them. How they don’t hook up with guys just because of how good-looking he is or what a great body he has but we all know they’re (generally) not revealing the entire truth.
“Attract more fulfilling relationships with the right woman is about knowing how to qualify her.” – Are You Qualifying Her Too? – Attracting Women & Better Relationships
I suppose what they mean to say is that they don’t get into relationships with guys just because of their looks. There has to be something more.
Following what I’ve written and according to common assumptions we can also assume most people are just average in looks, IF women believe men are ONLY into looks, then it’s safe to reason a very large majority of not-single-men are in relationships with women they’re not that attracted to and therefore are settling for something less.
If given the opportunity to choose a more beautiful woman they would reject the less attractive or average woman based solely on her looks.
In a few sentences it appears most men are settling and given the opportunity would cheat on their girlfriend or wife IF a hot chic would give it up or as the guy would claim, seduce him making it impossible for him to turn her down.
Of course whether that’s true is up for debate. I’m merely following a trail of what “people” say or write.
There are also those who do believe ALL men are cheaters. How we’re not designed to just sleep with one women after we’ve committed to her. This might make it seem the whole settling thing might be the biggest reason guys cheat but I don’t believe that myself. (Please save that discussion for another time.)
What this also means is that guys will always “try” to get with women they find the most attractive and when that fails, they lower their standards and just get together with any available woman who will have them.
Agree or not there’s certainly some truth there because I believe way too many men don’t know how to attract their attraction.
If they feel it a little for a woman (physical attraction aside) and she’s available and does anything to make it happen or let it happen, he’ll somewhat happily become her boyfriend or eventual husband.
So what about the women?
Well they generally say they’re not into looks as much as men. It’s his personality. It’s all about who he is.
If this were entirely true then we would never see women complaining about their boyfriends or husbands and the things they do that they don’t like, ALL personality based of course.
She would never find herself with a guy she’s constantly trying to change or tame or bitch about him not being responsive to her feelings or thoughts.
If it’s not about his looks and she’s into his personality more AND she’s not entirely happy with many parts of it (something she conveniently notices over time) then isn’t she also settling for something less than she really wanted?
After all this, maybe, just maybe, there’s an absolute truth and that BOTH MEN and WOMEN actually choose to settle for a partner.
Perhaps they believe they can’t do any better.
Perhaps they convince themselves it’s better to settle than to be alone.
Perhaps they all use any and all excuses like geography, limiting beliefs, and something even more powerful – superiority – or feeling more right or better than those who “superficially” choose their partners.
When in fact, BOTH tend to fail at relationships either way.
Now I’m definitely NOT saying it’s possible to find a perfect person for us and I do realize no one is actually perfect.
The idea, concept, or even theory of meeting and attracting someone who is flawless in every way is far from reality.
(Let’s not forget what it would feel like to be with someone who actually is flawless.)
What I’m trying to get at is that too many people DO settle in one way or even more.
While it’s certainly okay and probably a good thing to look past a few things (because of a lack of perfection), settling often leads to heartaches and relationship breakdowns and often starts with the chooser not feeling good enough (or having the skills or know-how) to find someone better.
The idea of “settling” is certainly open for lots of discussion in many areas because it’s a big thing.
However my main points today are:
If men are generally only into looks (being partly true because of our initial attraction trigger) than it’s certainly safe to assume way too many men settle for their less than ideal attraction, whatever that happens to be.
IF men are prone to cheat for reasons of not feeling satisfied or ready in their current relationship, then for that reason alone it’s also safe to assume way too many men do settle and are not overly happy with their partner.
If women are generally into a mixture of personality and confidence yet find themselves constantly complaining about what their (or guys) do and at some point realize the guy they’re with is a lot less confident in life in love than first assessed, it becomes all too clear women are settling for the very same reasons guys do.
If women are also prone to cheat (earlier or later) in a relationship, for reasons of not feeling satisfied or ready, then for that reason alone, it’s also very safe to assume way too many women also settle and are not or will become unhappy with their partner.
There are many paths to discover truths even in settling and although it’s difficult when it comes to men and women and their relationships to be 100% true – just a few simple common thoughts like today are leading to some interested and often saddening conclusions.
My personal belief as to why men and women do find themselves settling way too much is much longer and I will save it for a later date but I DO believe settling is all too common in our world despite the right or wrong reasoning used to prove it.